STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
EVASIVE HUSBAND
Please is it okay to use a dildo as a married woman? I have been checking Online for days and I dont have the mind to order it yet. Konji wants to kill me even with husband.
I am always the one making the move and I am tired to hear "tomorrow, next week, I'm tired, I have work and I feel ashamed to go to him cos I don't know the answer I might get again. The new question he now asks the day he manages to f... Me is "how long will this one last you, we did it last week and it's barely a week, you have come for another''.
My people, please advise me . I'm so horny. I sent a text to him on Wednesday last week to ask when he'll have time to f... Me, he said the next day and the next day, I was waiting for action and the next thing, he pretended to be upset for something the children did and I had to touch myself to sleep.....
*I am sorry i had to laugh, i have not heard of anything like this before....
Has he always been like this? If yes, then you should be used to it..... If it is a new occurrence then he might have things weighing him down that makes his libido really low..
Some people will come here now to preach but i dont see anything wrong with having a toy if both of you are in agreement.....Sebi the thing dey help am nah.
Feel for you poster. Try and talk to him and know why he's behaving this way. He shouldn't deny you your right Sha. It's something to be enjoyed and not endured. All the best dear
ReplyDeleteIt's possible his something7no dey work again, so instead of him to tell you, he is trying to use cadaver sense on you, trying to make it look like you are the one that does not have self control. I'm sure if you leave him, once a year, the biro fit no rise. Find put of you married a guy man or asexual.
DeleteShe didn't say it's not working. It's about a low libido
DeletePoster...you are filling oh. Pls buy yourself a very good vibrator elemimeje and thank me later. See,you will orgasm so hard your ears will ring. Leave oga to be forming tired always. Infact,you may not even need him again when you have you vibrator. Just be discreet about it so you don't hurt his ego. The way you are sex-starved by him is not nice at all.
Delete..
Sigh. I don't even know what to say.
DeleteThis is so sad.
I am very sorry for what you're passing through.
I have my reservations towards dildo because I believe it diminished marital intimacy, but you do not even have the intimacy to begin with.
I think you should wait. Do not make a move for one month. After that, go and meet him and tell him that you have discovered that he doesn't love or respect you and has been selfish towards you.
Tell hi that you are going to buy a dildo because you still respect him too much to cheat.
Allow him say whatever he wants to say.
But is better to use dildo than to cheat.
Continue to pray for your marriage and speak over it.
I pray God helps you.
Mma Nwachukwu.
Poster you need to speak to ur husband, a heart to heart...this shld not be nagging or fighting issue. I hate to be a bearer of bad news but it seems hes no longer attracted to u. If his sex drive wasnt like this, hes getting sex from someone else outside. Hes behaving like hes emotionally and sexually checked out , hes just sleeping with u to fulfill marital duties.
DeleteWahala..so you have to book appointment with your hubby before una gbensh, it is well with you.. Oya buy and help thyself
ReplyDeleteBuy yourself a d*ldo and v*brator, you don't need his permission because it's not for use on his body. A lot of men with low libido and g*y tendencies marry women with no plans to ever satisfy them s*xually. Wickedness. Notice how his low libido did not prevent him from having children, it was all premeditated. Get some toys and keep them away from the reach of the children.
DeleteWas he like this while dating? Sexual compatibility is not to be joked with when choosing a life partner. So, madam what will you do now? Someone like me don't feel anything if i touch myself and I also hate expressly initiating sex. I could seduce him by acting like i don't know what i am doing and let him grab me. Please by all means, if dildo will work for you, I know James Brown is marketing for a brand on Instagram. If his sexual appetite wasn't like this before marriage, it means he is getting it elsewhere. My friend's husband is like this and when she complained that he was always like that when they were dating and she thought it would improve when they married, it didn't in spite of their ttcing for over 6years. Thank God you have kids. Aunty order your dildo already and hide it so he won't start imagining you have a tendency of cheating on him and becoming paranoid. Sex is very important for a woman's over all well being.
DeleteMadam , why is your husband rejecting you sexually? Why has sex with you become a chore to him? Please find out.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, you can get a dildo for the meantime.
Probably your man has a low sex drive and could also be complicated by being too busy with work or something. I think you should discus this with your husband, tell him you have needs, tell him where he comes shot of that need, and ask him for a way out. Give him your suggestion on getting a sex toy. If he doesn't agree to it, kindly obey and hold yourself. You can also help him to be spontaneous. Asking your man for sex is not a crime. Just try to understand how he feels about these issues. You can also help him with remedies that can help drive up his sexual org.
ReplyDeleteHold yourself if husband doesn’t want you to get a toy and doesn’t want to have sex with you ????
DeleteWe do ask too much if others don’t we
Madam buys dildo and a vibrator if you want
By the way, many divorce for lack of sexual satisfaction or you get another partner to help him
Hold body? You never read "your body does not belong to you..."
DeleteWhat are you even saying?
Delete“Hold yourself “ because she’s in a convent or agreed on a marriage of celibacy.
I also think most chronicle writers must have discussed with their spouses before sending in their chronicles.
Dear poster, inform him about the dildo as courtesy demands.
When men start having issues they shy away from sex but do not realize they are punishing their wives.
Please find out if he is going through any challenges at work or he is going through depression, if he isn’t mehn… do you.
Push up (original)
Get a dildo. A dildo won't ever reject you.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂,abeg o, this is funny
DeleteMadam buy the dildo and use it in his presence. Probably this will make him realise he has failed to carry out his duty. Body no be firewood.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Use it in his presence and make sure you moan very well.
DeleteIt is wrong for your husband to deny you sex. The Lord Jesus taught that "the husband's body belongs to the wife and the
ReplyDeletewife's body belong to the husband and they should not deprive each other except for a time, and by MUTUAL CONCENT,
so as to devote themselves to fasting and praying." (1 Cor. 7:5)
The Lord created sexual intercourse for the bonding of MARRIED people and for procreation. Anything outside of this is
sexual immorality. The problem with introducing toys into it is that it will take away this purpose in creation. Even when intimacy
is restored, it won't be the same. You might find yourself struggling with lust and so on.
Please sit your husband down and have a discussion and find out what his problem is. You might be of help or it may well be due
to your action or inaction. May the Lord help you.
Exactly...
DeleteShe already has children and I don't think she is hoping to get pregnant. So, as such she should have no business wanting sex? Or at the end of the day, her sexual life is over unless he changes? For life? When she is not even a widow.
DeleteMadam how's your personal hygiene down there like?sometimes men use that excuse because some find it difficult to let their partners know directly if the hygiene down there is not the best .This makes sex feel like a chore
ReplyDeleteThat’s his job to tell his wife
DeleteAnother point
DeleteOnce I a week is not enough better use your mind for productive thinghs
DeleteIts well, mine reduced to twice in a month wen i stopped complaining and at thesame time wen i stopped going to him to ask for sex for the past few months. Many married women are sexually starved.
Deletegoke if that thing catch you you no go fit think straight ooo
DeleteNawa ooh. How can a man not desire his woman to the point of complaint from his woman?
ReplyDeleteAunty better buy dildo and help yourself.
That man is not sexually attracted to you and you know it except you choose to lie to yourself.
I guess he married you for some other reasons but sexual attraction.
Are you sure he is not closet gay? Haba naa. Men that can fuck anything pussy deh run from one being offered on a platter! HMMMM..
You don’t need to tell hun before you buy one unless you’re just trying to get his reaction
ReplyDeleteBuy one and keep with your things and enjoy yourself
Something is putting him off maybe.
ReplyDeleteChai! My heart just broke reading this. Poor woman.
ReplyDeleteHonestly it isn’t funny.. I can imagine how the lady feels
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahaahah.
ReplyDeleteNo comment.
🥵🥵🥵🥵
DeleteBuying a toy isn't the problem but the effect that comes after.
ReplyDelete*You become emotionally and physically addicted to that object
*Your husband will never ever be enough for you ever again,C'mon you've got something better to satisfy thy cookie so why not..
*You tend to buy more and more toys as each one evolves,gurl You wanna be invoke and have moreeee pleasure,Your acct go hear am
*Your hubby might not like it but fv*k him right??
Now I think you should have a deep conversation with hubby and ask him what his problems are and you both look for a away to make you TWO come to an understanding and have patience and compromise for each other,Besides you two have become one.
PS;I Laughed so hard before I typed this🤣🤣
This is dangerous misinformation. There's nothing like emotional and physical attachment to a s*x toy. many couples enjoy adding s*x toys to their normal s*x life and it doesn't affect the wife desiring her husband. stop spreading misinformation. it's better to use a toy to take the edge off than to be so s*xually starved and make a lifetime mistake.
DeleteI've also been imagining/desiring to have one, but my major fear is the addiction.
DeleteI never want to be addicted to anything
There’s no addiction abeg
DeleteThe two bring different forms of pleasure. The only reason she won’t want you compared to a dildo is if you’re a biro
I'd cry and throw tantrums if I can't access the internet for a whole hour no matter who is with me...Do you get
DeleteThis is an outright lie. I have a wand. I have had it for 3 years. I love it. If I have a complaint, its that it does it's too well and too fast. Get one. A wand vibrator
DeleteThis is serious ooo
ReplyDeleteHe is stressed with family pressure. Maybe he is struggling to pay the bills. Assist him with the bills and reduce the burden on him. He will be ready satisfy your sexual needs afterwards. Abi no be wetin women dey advice men in this kind of situation
ReplyDeleteIt seems more like he sees sex as a chore. That is a bit off for a healthy male. Maybe he is not sexually attracted to his wife, or he doesn't like sex. But it is unfair of him to continue this way. If he can open up to his wife on the real reason for his rebuffs, then they can work on it together. And then they both can enjoy the marriage. Selfishness does not promote bonding in a marriage.
DeleteThe same thing I’m going through with my wife.i make the move 9 out of 10 times and the one time she makes the move is after Iv complained.I feel like when you’re attracted to someone,you your sex life is always on point.I can’t wait to leave this marriage but worried about my kids cos im the one that takes care of them and wonder what will become of their well-being if I leave now.na chronicle this one for be
ReplyDeleteMany women are not comfortable with making a move
DeleteYour case is not same as this case cause your wife goes along when you make a move
This one tries and hubby doesn’t comply
That many women are.not comfortable with making the first move is a terrible lie.In fact,women have been known to make the first move in relationships that have amazing sex so if a woman makes no move at all,that’s a sign of serious problems.
Delete16:06 is your wife very free with you? How does she respond during sex? Don't worry, these questions don't necessarily require an answer now, but are questions you should ask. She may still have some hang ups or strange notions about sex. You guys may need to see a sex therapist or at least you have to be a bit more patient with her while you try to get her to loosen up and introduce other concepts to her. But how you relate with each other outside sex also matters. If you guys are not close and there is underlying animosity between you two, it will definitely affect your sex life.
Delete17:09 you are wrong and that’s a fact
DeleteI know lots of women and I can assure you many want sex even if they don’t make a move. It’s not a sign of lack of desire or love
My life story !!me I hate love making with my husband...
DeleteSometimes when I'm horny and I remember how his mouth stinks because he brushes and baths once in a month or only when he has a very important outing gosh!! Then accuse me of being the only woman who takes those kind of things seriously..... even to give me head ...I always run .
I always prayed for him to change but now ....I have been thinking of a way out ...I think of our kids and it just feels like a trap ,I don't want them to grow without thier both parents ,we tried once and the kids both fell seriously sick crying ....
I honestly almost cheated but I couldn't go through...I fell in love sef but hmmm the thoughts of my kids and how I'd defile my body and never forgive myself .I snapped put of the situation and I'm glad I didn't have a physical affair with the guy. But things like this can frustrate the hell out you!!
We have not kissed in 3years OUT OF a 4years marriage . We don't even communicate cos he'd rather go all out to smoke and drink and come back home 4am always . Then threaten me to cheat (as if he hasn't been cheating) abeg I'm tired AF!!
Ok your man is nasty. Set him up for counseling if no change or refuses, find your way out of this madness
DeleteWho cares if he will like it.. Madam get it please
ReplyDeleteHave you tried giving him an aphrodisiac? There are certain fruits and nuts that you can made into a smoothie for him in the guise of taking care of him. Do that first and watch how events unfold
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe naughty you..........
DeleteMadam my advice to you is to check your personal hygiene and dressing , have heart to heart talk with him or involve a mature marriage counselor , any other way of satisfying your sexual desire apart from your husband is sin.dildo is masturbation and it's immorality. I pray Holy spirit will direct you.
ReplyDeleteThis is not about personal hygiene. Be well informed to know that some men have low sex drive. You can read up about low sex drive. They are just not interested in sex.
DeleteSo the best is to discuss with your husband so you guys can get to the root of the reasons. Is it that his job is too stressful? Is he overweight? You guys can discuss about this and have a lasting solution.
Where is your Bible verse saying dildo is I’m not silo
DeleteStop following made up rules
Where is your Bible verse that says dildo is immoral
Delete@17:18
DeleteNigerian men must be supermen then. Clearly the husband of this Poster is not a Nigerian or is he?
The way some female Bvs abuse Nigerian men here about being s3x-crazy as if. A woman husband refuses to post family photos and affairs on social media, and the first thing she thinks about is that the man is hiding his marital status because of s3x outside marriage.
Or would rather not consider getting a human dildo?
ReplyDeleteSome of us wey fuck no even dey belleful. Pele
Bv Agadi na gwo Oveh
Poster. I Iaughed too and then I thought about it and became sad.
ReplyDeleteOK, men are moved by what they see. People have suggested talking to him, also, before he returns at night take a bath, buy some new sexy night wears, erotic perfumes and don them.
Wear those sexy wears and serve him dinner, be happy, be flirty, even dance for him.
Don't be shy, HE IS YOUR HUSBAND, seduce him. I heard tigernut and coconut with dates (blended and seived) increase libido, prepare them and both of you drink it.
What are the things that make him happy, do them. if these don't work, then have that conversation with him.
Most importantly, PRAY.
Marry a person you are sexually compatible with. Some like it daily. Some like it once in a month. Maybe this man was like this before marriage and you thought he will change.
ReplyDeleteYou have a vital point
DeletePeople change
DeletePeople also audition for marriage
Great sex before marriage anc then they change
Poster, I understand exactly what you are going through . You are even lucky to get it once in a week or two.
ReplyDeleteIt happened to someone I know and in her case the marriage wasn't conjugated till it ended but it was later discovered that the horseband was sleeping with their house help who was 12 yrs old at the time.
Sorry. Try and find out why this is happening.
Consummated pls not conjugated.
DeleteHer horseband was molesting/raping an underage house maid at the time". See how I wrote it?,dont thank me,you're welcome!
DeleteAnonymous "Busy body Corrector^ let people breathe!
DeleteCorrecting is good pls
DeleteTake correction here instead of embarrassing yourself in public
I feel like slapping you with this your question, please
ReplyDeleteOrder your dildo, vibrator and clit sucker to help yourself, make sure he doesn't sees it.how long will you continue like this? You are here asking questions, something you for don order dey use your tin jejeje. Let him keep his dick or let him be using it to be withdrawing money from the bank.shiorrr
Pls be respectful
DeleteI know we joke on this blog about slapping sense into someone but feel out the context of the moment
This is a grown woman. You talking about slapping her even in jest is not appropriate
Lol...anon..is just an exaggeration..slapping here means to reset one, I can never slap , okay...calm down
DeleteCan you people stop telling this lady to check her hygiene and bla bla bla. Can't you all see that this her husband demeans and insults her. If it was her hygiene, he would have subtly told her. This one asks insulting questions like how long will this one last you? and the likes . He doesn't love her and is most definitely no longer attracted to her. Worse of all, he doesn't respect her.
ReplyDeleteDon’t mind them. Always looking for fault in the person asking for help
DeleteOne Yoruba angel told me once that at least we kissed last week
Really I supposed to hold sensation of last weeks kiss
@18:13,
DeleteSorry Ma'am/Sir if that question sound offending to you. But truth be told, hygiene is a factor. Please read @18:55 above of a woman being put off by her husband's poor hygiene.
When a person seeks advice from third parties, it is normal for him or her to be asked questions. Sometimes, the more outlandish or stup.d the question may sound, the truer and more practical it is in solving the challenge.
Experience shows that some people find it difficult to tell loved ones the truth behind some of their actions and or reactions.
Example - A woman observed that each time she knelt to assit her children with their shoes and clothes, and talk with them at same time, they turn their faces away. Then she overheard them saying mummy's breath smells bad. She asked her husband if it was true and had always been so. And he said yes. She asked why he never told her. He just shrugged his shoulders.
The Poster needs to cover all grounds with her husband in finding solution to the matter unless she has already made up her mind on the dildo, and only here for cheer support, which she has already gotten.
Abeg, make we exchange. My own husband chases me around the house like something else. The way he counts my period days sef is annoying. I am tired of F.ing abeg
ReplyDeleteSame story here.The thing sef tire me.I need my energy to pursue my dreams.
DeleteLucky you.
DeleteWhat do humans even want in this life🤔🤔🤔🤔 instead of you to find a way on how you can enjoy your husband but one you are running away.
DeleteThe day he find a girl who is ready to give it to him without complain and he decides to wife her as number 2 you will be the one shouting men are wicked 😌
A demon will possess that dildo o. Its not right. It will now be like you are having it with a demon. Oyibo too bring corruption come this life. Hahahaha please o don't come for me.
ReplyDeleteIf you check well you’ll see dildo started with Africans
DeleteBeing married doesn't present an objection to you purcchasing that item if you need it. Obviously, you both have different bedroom temperatures. Do not feel guilty about it, it is not cheating or an indication of any failure
ReplyDeleteYou must be conscious of hygiene and good care of the equipment.
My own case is the opposite.My husbands libido is higher now,as Im pregnant and dont have energy to meet up.He claims its sweeter..I keep on forming one symptom or the other.Last night I had to feign vomitting and waist pain so I will sleep well.In ur case u can help urself with sex toys,but telling a man to "help himself"is to tell him to get a side hen,which Im not ready for such competition .
ReplyDeleteTry to get some rest and be ready for him
DeleteMadam you better don’t push your husband away with the way you are feeling so that tomorrow when you will need him he will be also be around to satisfy you.
DeleteOne small girl will handle your husband and it will become story for another day. You should be giving him sex now that he want it, you both can try and strike a balance on how it will be okay on both side. Do not give room to the devil cos you are pregnant.
Men are not dogs
DeleteWhat she’s going through is normal for some pregnancies
A good man understands
This is a painful situation. Am passing through it. I can relate very well. I have put my mind off it. More than four years, nothing like that between us. I have put my mind off it and i have my peace
ReplyDeleteWhy give up on a man you are married to, you should have work on it than to give up. Spice up your home cos no one will do it for you.
DeleteYour husband is getting it from another girl and you are here dying in silent . No way don’t let anyone kill your joy cos most married women are bitter cos of lack of sex.
Go out there and get new skills on how to ride your man without him looking outside. Good sex also keeps a man , learn some crazy ringing tunes while in bed with your man. Try what I have said and see if your husband will not come home everyday trying to have you.
Why give up on a man you are married to, you should have work on it than to give up. Spice up your home cos no one will do it for you.
DeleteYour husband is getting it from another girl and you are here dying in silent . No way don’t let anyone kill your joy cos most married women are bitter cos of lack of sex.
Go out there and get new skills on how to ride your man without him looking outside. Good sex also keeps a man , learn some crazy ringing tunes while in bed with your man. Try what I have said and see if your husband will not come home everyday trying to have you.
This blame the woman culture again
DeleteGod please forgive me for this advice. Please get or better still get a wax partner.
ReplyDeleteEvery morning oga bangs me before we both leave for work, then i ride him before bed. Na our timetable be dat
ReplyDeletePoster you need to spice up your sex life with your husband, is possible you both don’t have need skills to enjoy each time you both make out. I will encourage you to set up your game with new styles and see if that will change things.
ReplyDeleteYour husband may be getting it hot hot from a side chick which you are still doing the ok’d school style abs while the side chick gives him some crazy styles.
If a man doesn’t want to have sex with toy biko check your life, he may be seeing someone, he may be getting it from someone, your body could be irritating him. The love between you two may be gone, look for better ways to spice it up.
Have a heart to heart discussion with your husband, why will you both we chatting and booking appointment to have sex like bf and gf ?love making is not what you should discuss, it could happen anytime and any day depending on your mood. Stop sending him chat when will you fuck me but rather put him in the mood with romantic messages, sweet words, find out what turns him on. Do some touching when he is home, no allow pressure of school fees, feeding, up keep drive him away from you.
Go get sexy wears, wear sweet perfumes, explore new styles, hope you are not dull in bed, hope you have crazy ringing tunes even if you are not feeling the sex please get some crazy bedroom ringing tune.
Lastly, find out if your husband is going through any form of stress, home no one is black mailing him, hope no one is pregnant for him, hope his business or job is going so well before you talk about sex.
One vital fact omitted here is how old is Poster's husband. Desire decline with age for men, and quicker so for some men
ReplyDeleteThe narration also omits whether or not both parties have made efforts to discuss the cause of his low libido or whether it has been so from day 1 of the marriage. The Poster only mentioned asking when or when next and the husband asking how long this will last as if it is fuel in a tank.
There appears to be a communication gap between the couple on the reason for the lack and how to solve it.
Will a dildo solve the matter? Unlikely. If it does, our dear actress would not have a bag full such gadgets at home as displayed to us and still be in physical relationship.
Please Poster do not listen to the one or two comments encouraging adultery. Yes, two insinuated it. Better to fully go out of your marriage for that.
Pls do not blame the poster nor tell her to hold body,I think after giving birth some women libido get high,b4 I gave birth I do runaway from sex cos is always painful,nd tight,buh after I gave birth,m the one that ask for it alway,,nd now I do enjoy making love without pains,wat I do is that I sleep in the sitting room to avoid sex,nd pregnancy 😉
ReplyDeleteMy husband too does the same thing and he has NEVER cheated on me.
ReplyDeleteIts low sex drive. There was a time i didn't ask him for 4months and nothing happened during the time.
Please talk to him and visit a professional. There are drugs to enhance libido. that is after he has undergone series of tests to know which he should be on but some men will not entertain the idea because they feel there's nothing wrong.