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Monday, May 30, 2022

Doctor Freaks Journal - We Are All 'Portable''

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature"- Pat Monahan









Crooner Portable, "the rave of the moment" has been trending for some months now and I'm sure he's been having the best moments of his life. Great dude. Good vibes. Unimaginable energy.

He granted an interview wherein he reportedly opened up to the interviewer that he was less than 30 and he has already "married" 6 women. That's his private life though. 


He was recently nominated for the Headies Awards in some categories and he  released some videos where he's seen issuing "d€ath threats" against his fellow nominees if he failed to clinch the awards. The management and organizers of the award have reportedly reported him to the law enforcement agencies.


If you ask me, two things are involved, from experience.

 It is either the boy was/is constantly high and or immature. "But wait fess!" Many of us have sinned in the past too. "Oya swear say you never fvck up before."


When men were boys, around 1993 when I was in 200 level, my friend "E" (of blessed memory) and I decided to participate in the "Jambito rush" thing and interestingly, we "caught" 2 big fish(es)! One was tall, the other was short. One was light skinned, the other was dark skinned. 



One was in Law, the other was in Medicine. I was short, he was tall. I was light skinned, he was dark. I was in Arts, he was in Agric. We decided to do justice by matching ourselves with opposite forces. I went for the one in Medicine while he went for the one in Law (only in our imaginations because we never toasted any of them.) We became friends and we were trying to "stroll into their lives." 



Few days down the line, we sighted two guys who coincidentally shared the same hall of residence with us, walking with the duo, frolicking and holding hands. We both went berserk! Insult! Jambites, walking and holding hands with our imaginary babes! They must collect! "E" suggested that we should go and "threaten" the boys to stay away from our "babes." Stupid boy like me, I fell for it and I followed him to their room. The boys were not in but we left a message for them with their roommates. "Tell O and A that they are messing around with some big boy's chics and if they don't back off, they will collect." 



It was fun at the time. We laughed and joked about the drama. However, our joy was short-lived.


 At about 12.00midnight, the most dreaded "confra boys" who shared the same block with us in that hall came knocking and the instruction was short and clear "follow me." At that point, we both knew that we were both dead! Let me spare you the details of what transpired in that "Room 410!" "Omo, we collect woto-woto sha oh!" "E" and I were asked to raise some funds to appease the gods and we were further subjected to some other conditions.


 Thank God for the intervention of some Good Samaritans who appealed to them on our behalf. I saw one of the boys in court recently pretending not to remember my face but trust me, I reminded him of that episode and we both laughed over it.


Then, we were young, but thank God we never remained immature. It is normal to be young, but it is impermissible to be immature always.

 Portable has to grow up, he cannot afford to be immature always.

10 comments:

  1. Portable is acting like someone under the influence of small gods. May the Almighty God show him mercy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice write-up bro.
    Portable need to grow and control his smoking.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are watching. Lets see if things has gotten to the point where people issue open threat to lives and its treated with kid gloves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can so relate to this story. Reminds me of my 100L in UI. I was a very altruistic guy and was very mature for my age. Most people won't even believe I was as young as I actually was. The more relevant bit for this story was that I was a bold Lagos boy, altruistic and also had a disability. Hence why one of my fellow Jambites came to me when some guys refused to vacate the room he was allocated. When he told me, I assured him they will leave (I was planning on raising it with the authorities). But first, I decided we should start by reasoning with the guys. So, I went there and calmly gave them an ultimatum - authoritatively without even raising my voice. The guys were silent and just watched me leave the room. They left by the date of the ultimatum. I and the guys became friendly later, we hail each other respectfully and I bought dem food and drinks a few times. They never imagined I was a Jambite, until our matriculation ceremony day. The guys couldn't believe it. At that point, the one whom I later came to identify as their leader and who had become my guy came to me and told me I was damned lucky because they were in a rough place and were trying to calm things down with rival cult groups. So, when I challenged them, they really thought I was from a rival group and knew their identity. He told me never to try that again because if they had known, they would have just stabbed me that day. Later when the leader of the group of boys was rusticated as the hitman of Eye confra, I realized just how close I came to possible loss of my life. How I managed to escape being recruited I don't know! I just put it down to God and my mother's daily prayers over her children!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God saved u.

      Portable should be grateful that they recognize him sef.

      Delete
  5. This Portable eh,this fame has gotten into his head

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  6. Thank you but Portable needs to grow up

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  7. He should not be allowed to attend and his nomination should be rescinded. After Will Smith, I'm done with the foolishness.

    ReplyDelete

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