Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT TO EXPECT IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP
Dear BVs, Please what do people do or what should I expect from a relationship at the initial stage?.
Asking cos I recently accepted to date a guy who has been asking me out since 2020, we kicked started during the easter break. Since then all he does is once in a while he will just drop me some chat, no call or text message.
He is self-employed while myself I work from Mondays to Fridays while weekends/holidays are my resting days. This guy has not said we should hang out to discuss, go see movies, do a sit out or play some games together.
We have never talked about our relationship or what we both are doing thou we spoke during that easter break and I told him what I expect from a relationship. I am not talking about giving me money but I was thinking if you are dating someone, you people should talk about attending church, going to see movies together, hanging out, do some sit out to talk about life, career, our future but nope this dude only talks about how I should come spend a night at his place, come cook for him, wash and clean his house as if I am his wife.
He called on Saturday that he wants to come over to my place and I told him I was going to see my brother..
I cannot tell you I am really doing anything in this relationship. Your guy cannot call you on phone, he cannot hangout with you, you both cannot take drinks together, you cannot gist to talk about life then what should I be expecting from him.?
This guy makes so much noise on social media that you cannot help but notice him then why can’t he call or make video calls with the girl he said he loves? I want to know if I should just opt out now that is still morning to avoid stories that touch the heart cos the last time I visited him, uncle was looking for pant to shift, he visited me before I said yes and he was saying he want to have me in my house that I pay rent on my own, when you have not even defined the relationship?.
What do you guys think about what I am saying?
Should I be patient and wait for him more or speak to him about it again but I already communicated what I expect in a relationship before I said yes abi oga was not paying attention then? Abi I Dey date myself?
*What exactly are you looking at? To Marry him or what? If a Relationship is like this and he proposes and you say YES and una marry, how do you think the Marriage will be to a man that appears emotionally unavailable?
He probably asked you out just to sleep with you cos you sound like the type that like things done properly.
My conclusion is that you are dating yourself.
Stop expecting anything from him and call of the relationship or just ignore him totally.... You will definitely meet someone else that will fill in the gap.
At the moment you are dating yourself....
ReplyDeleteTell him you want to move on and see his reaction.
You are the one that's with him.
DeleteYou know hi better than we do.
If I'm the one, if he's everything you described up there, I will have a talk with him outside of our homes and get his opinion. If we don't have a common ground and I don't see any changes from him the next few days, I will walk away. You can't tie me up emotionally and still be emotionally absent. This is much as dating myself.
Please discontinue that situationship if you have had a talk with him. Go and take yourself out, love yourself and do the things you love. A better person will surely come around.
My dear you are dating yourself. You took too long to agree to date him. Do you think there hasn't been or isn't any girl in his life at the moment?
DeleteAt this point,he just wants to sleep with you to make up for the time he used in asking you out.
Receive sense and leave him
The way my gender dey reason sometimes dey scatter my dada! What are you asking? Does this person even sound serious to you?! Person wey you see say dey find freebies na him you dey take serious?? When are you going to understand that sometime these guys want to play around, Chase you just for the fun of it. From all indication, this guy was just being silly, but if you Mumu yourself like you are doing now, he go collect cookies as his reward for his game, and as results of your foolishness.😵
DeleteFor goodness sake, the guy no even send you!😲😳🤯
Lolll guy wey no send you ho ha, you dey ask were you should talk to him again.
DeleteLMAOOOO.
When no be say na 'imbecide'.
If just don't have a standard, go and get one otherwise you will be wasting your time asking JAMB kewshion in every relationship.
Guy no send you cha cha, you are confidently dating yourself.
Dear poster
DeleteYou don’t even know what you want and that is the problem with people these days, like you can see all the signs you don’t like, what are you being patient for? Hoping he will miraculously change right?
You have coconut head, kindly move on now you ain’t in too deep, there’s no faking it, when a man is feeling you he will let you know, he will show you.
He is not just that into you… simple
It doesn’t matter if he has been toasting you since 1980, some men just want to taste and bounce without even doing the work.
Stop settling for what you don’t want.
Push up (original)
Please poster opt out. The sooner the better. Love yourself biko.
DeleteIt's like you are dating yourself o. Ah ah. Communication between the both of you is zero. Hanging out together sef, no be am. My dear since you can't cope, abeg leave. Cos he might not change.
ReplyDeleteRelationship is all about communication. If you feel anyhow. Say it out. Eg. My dear, can we hang out today in so so and so. What do you think? Bros. There is this new movie I heard about can we go check it out next weekend?. He is your friend already. Loosen up but padlock your oil-well and keep the key with your mum.
ReplyDeleteThere is no harm in initiating discussions. You are no more forming hard to get. He has gotten you already😀.
I don't support going to his house to wash and cook for him. God forbid. It is also not a crime to visit him once in a while. Good relationship does not just happen. it takes consistent effort to build it.
Initiate fire. Poster, I beg you in the name of the Lord, do not take this advice.
DeleteUnku is looking for kpekus to gbensh, poster fleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteHe knows you as a good girl so the only way he feels he can gbensh is by being your boyfriend but he is even too occupied to deceive you.
Aunty, the guy no send you one Naira 🤣🤣
Push up (original)
My dear, you guys are not dating...yet. or what defines a toasting period for you? He hasn't even started toasting you. The toasting period is when he should do all these things you are expecting, the calls into the dead of the night, texting all day long, hanging out every opportunity he finds you and generally climbing the mountain top top impress you. He is a perfect candidate for a friend zone. Don't breakup a relationship that never happened. Don't be hostile or unfriendly to him because he is just your acquaintance, not even a friend. Face front and accept dates with fun guys that knows how to woo and win a woman. If he ever gets to ask what's up, tell him you are still watching him to know if he is the kind of the you would like to be in a relationship with. Yes, let him know you are screening him and have other candidates.
ReplyDeleteNB: ALWAYS KEEP A HEALTHY FRIENDS ZONE, E get why.
I can't agree less. Poster please heed to this.
DeleteHe's not into her! Guy Man was just testing his chasing game.
DeleteHey Girl, get a grip of yourself!🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️
Poster!!! Please take Ms Sapphire’s advice. It is the best and most realistic. Also, I guess you really like him already as a boyfriend and possible husband. So, just friendzone him immediately. Right now, he is extremely occupied with another girl. Don’t fight him, don’t get ugly with him. Just go on dates with your self, give other people a chance, enjoy your life. Go watch those movies alone, hang out with your self alone. Don’t act desperate by looking for explanations, when the obvious is staring at you. But deep in my heart, you sound like someone that would not take the advice. You sound like you would hang on till you get heartbroken by chasing what was not ready for you. Then you will start shouting, ‘men are scum’.
DeletePoster, that guy wants to sleep with you, nothing. He has girlfriends o. Ignore him because small bobo is still worrying him. Just moveee
ReplyDeleteSimple!👌
DeleteIt's not even that hard to read the hand writing on the wall.😟
At this point, make sure you have another egg in another basket.
ReplyDeleteThis basket na yahooo basket. 😂😂😂
This isn’t a relationship sis. It’s a situationship.
Kepu onwe gi n’agbua. Free yourself.
Mma Nwachukwu
Once you mentioned "church," I understand you are a believer in Christ, so let's talk from that perspective.
ReplyDeleteIntercourse is when the man has paid your bride price; you are his wife. For this one that wants to fornicate from the get go, please, DROP HIM NOW!
Learn to seek the Lord Jesus in fasting and praying for your life partner. Do not be desperate, for one who is hasty misses the way.
You're dating yourself, dearie.
ReplyDeleteThis is not how people in love behave and this is not a relationship as you're in this alone. Please call it off and move on. A better man will find you.
ReplyDeleteI can confidently tell you that you are in a relationship with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWith everything you wrote here, the man you described is an unserious fellow.
Don't even let him come to your place...cos men like this will only end up sleeping with you and it can only get worse from there.
If you don't talk, hangout or get to know yourselves, what are you then doing together?
Infact, the only way to treat this kind is: GHOST HIM. Don't explain yourself or you feel more stupid.
Then before you go into another relationship, clearly define what you want so you can easily weed out unserious people.
So if this dude who is "loud and eager to have sex" asks you to marry him, you will agree? Wow!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that in marriage, some of us ladies begin to tremble as if there is nothing else in this life to do?
If you don't free this guy, you will probably be writing another chronicle with the heading; "He dumped me after the honeypot and now I am pregnant!"
Enough!
It’s not that type of loud abeg
DeletePlease can you define "loud" and types of loudness for us @17:57?
DeleteYes. She means he had social media presence so she knows he has time so why can’t he send her messages or call
DeleteThe signs are there ,but in order to clear every doubt ,I suggest u call him and let u two have a discussion in an open place,where u ask him if he has got any problems he may be passing through thats making him not to communicate and act like its a relationship,and express ur distaste.If he continues and acts like nothing happened,pls breakup with him.Ur obviously a sidechick or he just wants to chop and clean mouth.
ReplyDeleteDesperado move. Poster please add this to your 'don't' list.
DeleteIt's obvious you are alone.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.. Uncle was looking for pant and womb to shift???
ReplyDeleteMy sister, the reg flags are all over the relationship.
Mine is that ask him what he really want and define what you think a relationship should be because he might be new without any experience forget about all these advices maybe they have gone on date with many girls or boys that is why they are saying all these ,pls communicate all these your expression to him he might just have another background to what dating entailes
ReplyDeleteStory.
DeleteDon't!
...Strong people ignore - Wole Soyinka.
ReplyDeleteDont dignify him with a formal break up. Just 'Fool Zone' him.
You are dating yourself, all he is interested in is your kpekus end it already
ReplyDeleteHe called on Saturday that he wants to come over to my place and I told him I was going to see my brother..
ReplyDeleteAs you couldn’t make Saturday’s date, why don’t you ask him out for this Saturday
Pick a place for lunch and send him a text today. Would you like to go to lunch at ......by 3pm on Saturday?
I don’t believe ladies should reject one day then wait for the guy to propose another
Abeg she will look desperate.. The guy is not feeling her that's just it and he's emotionally unavailable.
Delete19:33 I think a normal relationship is give and take
DeleteAlso guys remember this guy is probably trying to find out what works for this girl
Mercy actress was happy when her man said come and cook for me
Some girls like the whole come and cook and clean for me thing
22:15 okay that is what you do in the name of relationship. But how many girls will come and cook and clean for you while you shine their congo before you finally pick the one you want to marry? Relationship kor situationship ni.
DeleteI'm listening to 'Don't by Bryson Tiller'.
DeleteYou are dating yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is not feeling you at all and I will say you should just ignore him.
ReplyDeleteI think you should ghost him because in the next 5years you guys will still be like that is better now that you still have your own mind to leave and please run
ReplyDeleteThis relationship is not working...dont force it...just ghost him.
ReplyDeleteBabes run o before you go share stories that touch the Labia
ReplyDelete😂
DeleteMy ex was a chemist, not educated and very arrogant. Talks down on women and date a lot of ladies on social media. Well, though I love him cos then I really want to marry but deep down in me I knew I deserve better and today leaving him is one of my best decision ever. I
ReplyDeleteGhost him because he is not serious and not into you. You are dating yourself!
ReplyDeleteApt!
DeleteDon't oooo!
ReplyDeleteThe guy could be married and his family living somewhere else. It is pointless even having stupid conversation with his sort. He's testing his skills by insisting on dating you. Babe, you're dating yourself. just ignore him like he doesn't exist. Lobatan!
ReplyDelete