Hmmm...
NARRATIVE ONE
PETTY HUSBAND
Please how do you handle a man that keeps malice for no reason?
Each time he starts I'll go and beg but now I'm not begging again. Since on Sun till now he stopped eating at home and he comes home late but I dont care cos i am tired and I will not beg again.
Infact I've stop keeping food for him since he doesn't eat it.
How does one handle a man like this?
What kind of man is this? So freaking childish.... Please ignore him totally, when he is ready to talk, he will look for a way to break the ice, you should stop being the one to beg to end his malicious silence...
What kind of man is this? So freaking childish.... Please ignore him totally, when he is ready to talk, he will look for a way to break the ice, you should stop being the one to beg to end his malicious silence...
Hmmm i hope he does not look for quarrels any time he wants to hang out with friends or see any side chic? I have heard of stories like this oh.....
*****************************************************
NARRATIVE TWO
THE DREAM
What does it mean when you miss your flight and as you were begging the staff at the boarding gate to allow you board yo watched the same plane you missed crash right on the tarmac.. I began to kneel and thank God for saving me..
This happened in my dream; can someone interpret ?
*****************************************************
NARRATIVE TWO
THE DREAM
What does it mean when you miss your flight and as you were begging the staff at the boarding gate to allow you board yo watched the same plane you missed crash right on the tarmac.. I began to kneel and thank God for saving me..
This happened in my dream; can someone interpret ?
WOW!!!!
Probably means you conquered something
First Poster: Your husband is childish and trying to make you feel guilty when you did nothing wrong. If he can not grow up, ignore him. Continue to be a good wife and make sure you don't get in his way. He might be cooking something or just not interested in the marriage and looking for an excuse to hang out and do his stuff.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I think it means, every missed opportunity might be a blessing in disguise. Also pray against such dream so that it doesn't manifest in real life.
Poster 1.
DeleteCome let me gist you.
My husband is/was like that. I use was because he’s changing.
He can keep malice ehhh. Jesus. For days oh. And me I have soft heart, I will be dying inside. Then I have to go and beg. And then we talk.
So I started praying for him and asking God for wisdom to handle this case. Because I don marry an already.
He’s an amazing amazing man. 😊. He just shuts people out when he thinks he’s been wronged.
Anyways, the last issue we had, I acted as if nothing happened.
I would wake up and ask him if he wants to eat. If he replies I make food. If he doesn’t I ignore him.
I was truly happy. I spent a lot of time praying and loving on God. God made me understand that I should love my hsiannd not because he’s lovable everytime but because Christ first loved me.
So I showered love on him but I never begged.
I was also very busy with work and my courses.
After three days he came to meet me to ask me if I won’t apologise. Lool.
I told him he hurt me too. And we spoke about it and made up.
Now I know you’re going to be thinking, 3 days?? Lol.
It was worse before.
It’s better.
And it would continue to get better.
We committed to self development too.
Watch videos on marriage by Dr gothman together.
Learn together. Talk when times are good.
Trust me, transformation can happen if you follow the right strategies and don’t seem desperate.
Love him. But keep your dignity.
Pray for wisdom and pray for him too.
You will enjoy your marriage.
I love this, prayer makes this marriage journey so easy. I have learnt to commit everything into God's hands and the peace is amazing, poster 1 pls take this advice
DeleteMen like that always had their ways so they think even when they wrong you you should beg.
DeleteDear poster, do not use the words “i am sorry” especially if you weren’t wrong.
Greet him good morning, smile when he is around and act very happy, welcome him home, do all your duties but do not apologize.
Just focus on you, it’s hard especially when you aren’t a malice kinda person.
Stay strong
Push up (original)
Ignore him, in fact buy chicken, fry it nd chop with your kids, while praying to God to touch him.
DeleteThank God. Deliverance
you're about to loose something that seems important to you but God wants to save you from future and bigger problem. I pray God grant you the grace to let go of anything that'd cause you unbearable pain. Pay attention to things you place importance on.
ReplyDeleteFelicity
When I was doing my marriage counselling, one of the things we were thought was never to carry over disagreements to the next day. Make sure you resolve whatever issue u are having before u go to bed that night.
ReplyDeleteI totally dislike a spouse that keeps malice with their partner. It’s so petty and should never be practiced especially in marriage but what do I know, I am only two years in marriage 🤷🏾♀️
It is taught.
DeletePoster 2 your dream is as clear as daylight, what other interpretation do you want? Just continue thanking God
ReplyDelete1st poster, Marriage indeed is for the strong mind, if you are ready to end this attitude don't beg : if you re not ready not weak to see to the end better go & beg.
ReplyDeleteBecause you need lots of strength
That's the comment here. I had this same issue initially with hubby, I would always beg because I can't keep malice. I got tired of the attitude one day and decided enough is enough. It was tough but I conquered, he came to apologize. Now, he knows that malice is a no-no. Although he still gets cold when he angry sometimes but little things do not lead to malice.
DeleteThere is nothing that annoys me more than when someone sends in their dream to be interpreted on the blog.
ReplyDeleteLearn to pray and cancel ur bad dreams as soon as u wake up and forget about them.
There is something about the mind, when you have a dream and you tell somebody to interpret for you, they would only interpret according to their perception and understanding, and believe me, whatever they tell u would stick with you and before you know it, because you believe them, their words start manifesting in ur life. Be careful who you tell your dreams, some people are your enemies. You are what you believe, always remember that.
Throughout the Bible people asked others to interpret their dreams
DeleteThis self reliant Christianity y’all preach is not biblical
That’s why we now have more ppl relying on men of God and they end up projecting their thoughts on individuals. Whats wrong with saying a prayer against a bad dream and continuing with ur sleep. Even if the dream is interpreted, what would they use the interpretation to do? Is it still not the prayer??
Delete18:23 because not all dreams are got you to pray and sleep. Some are warnings some contain instructions. I’ve had dreams that let me know clear as day what was happening in a situation. Sometimes talk to people about things. They might see things in a difft light.
DeleteI would just beg him and be done with it. I generally wouldn’t say beg your man when he’s acting like this but in this case I sense he’s just being a big baby.
ReplyDeleteWhatever it is poster 1, pls don't listen to them still beg him ,two wrong can't make a right and the humble is the higher not the lower, remember the teaching of Jesus that God kingdom is for children pls don't give him the opportunity to look outside
ReplyDeleteShe should sha be ready to continue to beg for the rest of her life. God forbid bad thing!
DeleteMe I Sabi malice well well o my husband wan try that petty character with me i com laugh, because e no no say e dey my blood na in con stop happiness con dey lead.poster check anon17:54
DeletePoster one you spoiled your husband so he is already used to it and right now he see it as his right for you to always apologize. If you know you cannot complete anything do not start it.
ReplyDeleteSince you want to stop apologizing you should stand your ground while you ignore his childish attitude. Make sure you greet him in the morning, when he is back from work, respond to him one one, do not keep food for him and even if you both start talking do not keep food for him like punish him for over a month before you start keeping food.
Right now is the beat time for you to cook special meal for yourself and the kids without giving him
You are extremely evil.
DeleteUse that advice and destroy your own marriage please, leave this innocent woman alone.
Poster don’t follow this advice oh.
DeleteThis one is wickedness.
Don’t be overcome with evil. Hian
Mma Nwachukwu
This Your dream is a reflection of your subconscious. You missed a chance but deep inside you know it was for the best
ReplyDeletePoster one, if you beg you have to be ready to beg for the entire marriage. Silent treatment is a form of control, 9 out of 10 times it's their way of controlling you! Good luck begging
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you don't know who you married.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, yes, the plane crashed but did any passenger injure or die?
Yes all the passengers aboard died and the bodies wheeled out.
DeleteHow can a plane that has not flown crash???
DeletePoste 1. It is time to cook fresh fish, snails, Asun. All sorts of better food you can cook and make sure you wear shorts and tiny top when cooking it. Don’t worry he will come around when he sees your better food in the fridge.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was like this when we first got married to the extent that he will be telling me he won’t eat my food till I kill chicken to apologise . We are from different tribes so the chicken part was funny to me , anyways we are on 21st anniversary going to 22nd. You can’t keep apologizing but make sure you cook different delicacies they he can’t resist and you don’t always have to have the last say in an argument, sometimes put wisdom and keep quiet, no man like a quarrelsome wife, he will come around.
Poster 1 you know your husband better than anyone else on here. You've got two choices- beg or don't beg. Whatever you do, remember you alone will have to live with the consequences and not anyone of us on this blog. You'll definitely read from BVs on both sides of the divide and how it worked out for them, but there is not telling what outcome you'll get.
ReplyDelete@17:20, are you serious or just being sarcastic?
ReplyDeleteEven when they start talking, she shouldn't keep food for him and do so for one month and use this opportunity to prepare special meals for herself and her children only?
The action of the man is bad. So she should throw fuel in the fire?
Is the poster innocent of the act causing the alleged malice? Some partners are good at kicking their partners heels knowing very well the reaction would be childish, and then point it out in public.
Poster, hear this: There's no marriage without a quirk. My marriage sweet, my marriage sweet, na becos one partner mostly (or both partners) dey overlook all faults wey no cause injury.
One old man told me greetings and sorry are just exhalation of air and sound sometimes.
Say sorry and stop the acts that trigger the "childishness" in your husband especially if stopping them does not cause you any loss. If stopping the acts will cause you loss negotiate with your husband.on the important ones and let go of the rest.
On the other hand, if you are not keen on whether or not the marriage survives, hold out. Keep the malice with him full steam. No food, no s3x, cold greetings, monosyllabic discussion, and erm, no request for money. He will change or your marriage will change.
And please remember to update us.
You are right that she shouldn’t drag it out but going on and on about how she triggered him is where you are wrong
DeleteBut I’m too tired to type and explain more to you
She should stop whatever triggers his childishness, (I laugh in Swahili) if you haven’t been with this kind of man you won’t understand.
DeleteThe more you apologize, the more he throws his tantrums for even lesser things, before you know it, you won’t even have a voice, you will be at his mercy.
Dear poster, be respectful, greet him but I repeat, if you know I’m your heart you did not offend him, please don’t apologize or beg.
Push up (original)
You better pray and let God restore peace to your marriage. If you let God take control, either of you will be given the strength to kickstart the peace move.
ReplyDeleteMalice is ungodly!
If kept for too long, it can lead to dire consequences. For some people, especially men, the next stage after deep malice is an emotional switch to someone or something else apart from the spouse. By then all effort at reconciliation may be too late, having gone too far away.
Always pray to God when you have issues in your marriage. Pray against unbridled ego that destroys. Pray against bad attitudes that causes unnecessary conflicts. Pray for wisdom to handle whatever quirks your partner ( husband or wife) brings to the table.
Marriage is not easy, but it can be enjoyed if we play by God's rules.
Shalom.
Poster 1, like some people have said on here, malice is his way of controlling you and i will go another step further and say that he might have narcissistic tendencies and if that’s the case, your begging him is his SUPPLY. You will have to handle this quite delicately by apologizing less and less and in cases where you know you are not at fault at all, have an unemotional conversation and stick to the points of contention and get him to see that his malice-keeping has long term harmful effects on your relationship. All the best
ReplyDeleteJust out of curiosity, even where she is wrong, she shouldn't apologise because it is his supply? She should 'apologise less and less...'
DeleteSome of the things I read on here are just plain asinine
Keeping malice makes me sick for real. If I see someone I am keeping malice with, my heart will skip. I will be uncomfortable for few minutes.
ReplyDeleteMine is worst. Hubby has been doing same and I am damn tired. How can a fully grown man be so petty and childish?
ReplyDeleteMine got angry because I attended our child’s PTA meeting. He says I am so pretty so I would definitely enter other father’s eyes. That he will never call me again and he would give us space, that I disregarded his instructions.
Abi I look like puppet ? Prohibiting me from attending our only child’s PTA ? Oga you Dey mad !
I didn’t even bother calling nor texting him. 10days later (just this Saturday) oga called me the ask for apology. I told him I would apologize when our Rooster lays 4eggs. What rubbish ! Guess what ? He is now the one begging. Hubby say I don get mind now 🤣🤣
Nne stand your ground the more you apologize the worst it becomes trust me . It’s been years of beg beg from me for peace sake over ridiculous nonsense but now I don’t give a fuck.
Well done!
Delete