She wrote, “It is okay to lose your trust and love for God! It is okay to question God! It is okay to stop believing.
“You know why? Because God never created us in his image nor likeness. At least, not literally.
“The only one who is not allowed to give up is the God himself. He created us with the power of choice. Whatever rocks your boat, do it.
“I have seen more unbelievers enjoy earth than my Christian brethren. What’s the guarantee that HEAVEN IS REAL? WOKE UP WITH SOME DANGEROUS THOUGHTS''
“You know why? Because God never created us in his image nor likeness. At least, not literally.
“The only one who is not allowed to give up is the God himself. He created us with the power of choice. Whatever rocks your boat, do it.
“I have seen more unbelievers enjoy earth than my Christian brethren. What’s the guarantee that HEAVEN IS REAL? WOKE UP WITH SOME DANGEROUS THOUGHTS''
God doesnt need anyone to defend him, hateful words or disappointing words wouldn't stop me from saying or feeling more.
I TOO STUBBOEN, let God himself do the defense though his touch while if you care too much, just pray cos i am not alone in this stage (check on your parent/loved ones)
We have so many broken men and women make up our society because they have ben thought to hide these feelings ooo because God is supreme.
Bullshit, my Bible says he my father my friend.
Am not ASHAMED to be WEAK FOR I KNOW I WONT BE HERE TOO LONG:''.
Someone that has access to her should check up on her please
ReplyDeleteCharity been acting funny since. Plus she's been too much cyber bullying over Churchill, Kpokpo wateva and others. She masks the shame but can u imagine after kneeling down, praising Kpokpo, giving him keys then his vn about her?
DeleteCharity needs help,she needs to be checked into a mental home for a little bit this girl has so much going on beyond face value.
ReplyDeletePeople are going through so much, yet they try to appear strong.
ReplyDeleteWe all have that “tired” moment. I just pray that whenever we find ourselves in such situations, God would strengthen us.
Tonto you need on of those retreats where you don't go with phones/gadgets. You just go there; eat, sleep, meditate, refocus, renew your mind and thoughts,have deep conversations with specialists/therapists then hopefully come home a different & fulfilled person.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Sandra.
DeleteWhat she said is true. Nobody should tell me not to question God when certain things happen. I have been in a situation in my life where i wished suicide was easy but the good thing is that God can always bring you out of that situation.
ReplyDeleteNow, i have come to realise that i am all i have got and that "blood is thicker than water" is all lies. I pray we dont experience heart breaks from our family because it can send you to place called depression.
When you family are your tormentors who do you run to. When the people you love pray fall for your downfall, how do you face life? Please be kind to people.
I wish I could like this a million times. My own family ganged up to beat me up out of jealousy
DeleteSorry.
DeleteI have been troubled to the point of depression before but things gradually begin to turn around.I am still healing since 2017.
Since then I set goals but don't forget that there is a 50-50 chance of success. And I watch out for stress and avoid it as much as possible if it comes.
so true, thank God am not alone..when mama dey go juju to tie womb of daughter because you no marry her choice...inside this life and brags about it
DeleteMeaning she won't be in a place of "weakness" for too long.
ReplyDeleteFinally Churchill is innocent.we now know who has been disturbing the peace when they were together.
ReplyDeleteYou are sick
DeleteTonto, you are sick, get help!
Delete17.04
DeleteTonto just lost her step mom, best friend, paddy, confidant, side kick. She misses her and feels alone in the world. She will work through it....i trust her. I wish she relocates overseas i.e. somewhere in Europe to start life over again
At times, when we are down. This kind of dangerous thoughts come to play and we start questioning God and his existence.
ReplyDeleteBut I have come to the realization that God is God.
Play your part while you are here, do good, treat others"as you would want to be treated, above all love.
God remains God and Tonto he will see you through this phase of breakdown.
In all the world is VANITY
Too long means she is not going to be on planet earth forever........
ReplyDeleteWon’t be here for long in this context simply means in the state of weakness Stella. English!
ReplyDeleteShe's clout chasing. All of us won't be here too long as well. We have a fixed time.
ReplyDeleteThis headline is to cause traffic right? Coz she obviously meant she won't be weak for too long.
ReplyDeleteSometimes these thoughts come in,and I believe most believers have been through this stage before,where you just sit and think and wonder if everything is a lie,if all your beliefs and all is just fiction,an imaginary thought of a man and his group of followers that they later put into writing to make us believe,but as Christians,we need to ignore the poisonous pleasures of earth and understand that HEAVEN is the GOAL.she will be alright.
ReplyDeleteJust a simple lack of ________ and ________ will make you think this way. Do you think the unbelievers are really enjoying the life that you see ? They are showing you their highlight reel and you bought into it because you lack _______ ? You need to truly and truthfully _______ your sins, ____________ satan and his works, and ___________ to christ. It is only then would GOD Almighty grant you the ________________ that surpasses all human understanding. Remain blessed. Jesus loves you whether you like it or not.
ReplyDeletea) wisdom
b) contentment.
c) Confess
b) Reject
e) Return
f) Peace of Mind
This post is not meant to be funny but your comment is.
DeleteAre you a teacher? Nigerians are funny
Felicity
I had the same thought while reading,she wrote like a teacher.To be honest,at times things just looks somehow,doesn't make sense and you start to question God,yourself and every thing around you.
DeleteTruly it's only God that can give peace that passeth all human understanding and I thank God I am in that space.
Dear Tonto baby,we love you and gou know it.Your SON should be your priority now in all decision you want to make.
ReplyDeleteBe strong baby girl,may God uphold you and belive that one day you shall Testify the goodness of The Lord.
God is still on the throne no matter what you pass through and u pray that soon you shall experience his miracle.
The 'son' may actually be the problem. It's not easy being solely responsible for a whole new individual. That's why young ladies should be patient enough to be with a man that treats them well and truly loves them rather than being in a haste to get married to just any man and start making babies almost immediately. When the man starts acting up or leaves, it'll dawn on you that it's not easy taking care of kids alone. It's financially, emotionally and psychologically draining. There's no competition in this life. I'm at that stage in life where I'm not even sure if I want kids especially after reading the experiences of people who regret having kids on quora and reddit. Postpartum body changes is not a joke too. Mental health is really important. We all need rest.
DeleteFather, pls whatever the help Tonto needs now because of your mercy give it to her. Show her Your mercy. Send her help in whatever form or fashion she needs it. You are real. And I know that You are faithful. Pls Lord do not listen to her rantings but show her that You are love and restore her hope and faith. Remove every feeling of helplessness from her in Jesus name Amen.
ReplyDeleteBetter don't tow that cowardly way Tonto
ReplyDeleteShe quoted a Bible passage and you misconstrued it to mean that she is suicidal..
DeleteRead again, it's in quote not her direct words.
Who are her friends? let them reach out to her. She had fallen out with many and with all the controversies, new friends will think twice😪
ReplyDeleteStella is enabling only good comments, well done oh
ReplyDeleteWhen they post their pictures and you all are chanting "beautiful people, beautiful people," you have no idea what those smiles
ReplyDeleteand glams are hiding; the stress of life they go through. Pray for this girl and if you can reach her, do it quickly.
Once someone begins to question the existence of heaven, the devil wants to take her to hell speedily.
It is well with her. Everyone has what they are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteHer loved ones should check this woman into a mental home, she's not well.
ReplyDeleteMyself I have been fantasizing about crossing the road and getting hit by a car. I always wonder if I were to take myself out, how would I do it? I don't think I have the strength to tie a rope and hang myself. I don't like blood or pain so stabbing myself, slitting my wrists or shooting myself is out. Fear of heights won't let me jump. I've nearly drowned before, it wasn't a pleasant experience. So an overdose would probably the best way to go.
ReplyDeleteIt's not like I plan to commit suicide, I just fantasize about it. Sometimes I just don't see a way forward, and you know how when you die you become a saint and people forget all your faults. Maybe people around me will forget that I'm a failure if I'm not here.
Lol I'm also TERRIFIED of death.
So I don't know if I'll ever go through with it.
But I've even constructed a note in my head LOL.
Wow, you think you are failure that is why you fantasize about suicide. I graduated almost 12 years ago without a job, 6 years ago i was interning but it didn't lead to anything. Imagine my pain. I am married with 2 kids, had 2 miscarriages but i am still here. I have equipped my mind to be strong and i rely on God for my sanity. People i have spoken against me, against my unemployment, dressing etc... but they can never shake me. I am too awesome for the devil to bring to depression. Anyways, be involved in the things of God, you will find greater peace there. Sending you love.
DeleteDon’t go through with that nonsense in your head.
DeleteDo not accept that label of you being a failure, you should never think that way about yourself.
Yes, we have our low moments but try to snap out of it like immediately.
Things may not be working out for you the way you expect now, but trust me they will get better. You have to stay positive and alive to see how great you’ll become.
Sometime ago, my friend was suicidal. He’s doing very well for himself but he had issues at work and that made him depressed. The issue at work was serious and it was obvious he was going to lose it. I told him there were other options but he wouldn’t have any of that.
Same time, I was at my lowest and I didn’t know how I got the strength to be there for him.
He kept drinking and drinking, I was actually very scared for him that I even forgot I had my own problems.
I asked who was going to help raise his two beautiful kids? Some times I got really pissed at him for not trying to be strong.
So one day, I called him and we went to church together. I got him “thank you Jesus rosary” That helped him and he became stronger.
He faced the disciplinary committee several times and some days would seem like there was no hope. We kept praying and believing for a miracle and that was it 🤷🏿♀️
He’s been back to work for about a year now and he’s happier. Stay positive.
13:51 you don't have a problem. You are married with kids. A Job is what you don't have and hubby is coming through for you and the kids. Those two achievements alone(marriage and kids) make some ladies depressed when the don't have them and yes, marriage and kids are achievements. So don't even compare yourself to the first anon cos you don't know her own story.
DeleteTonto, it is well with you.
Ask around and hear people tell you about how much they have had to struggle with their own peculiar challenges in life and near depression experience.
DeleteCountless people still battling depression while some have overcome the storm.
You too will overcome. Just rest and not think that you are the only one who has felt like a failure. This life will still uplift you if you can just keep your head up high.
Thank you guys so much
DeleteI'm trying not to think such thoughts
But when I look at things my age mates at 26 are doing and I don't even have a correct job, I feel like a disappointment to my mother. Even though she has never made me feel that way. The fact that I'm turning 26 this year is so depressing to me. Sometimes I feel like if I haven't been able to achieve certain basic things by now, there's not much hope for me.
Youngest in my circle to graduate yet no proper job, didn't make graduate school, no meaningful relationship, not paying bills, no car, I don't even have friends. God forbid if my mom should pass today I may not have anybody. So sometimes I feel she's the only reason I'm still here.
17:37, keep looking to God. I know a person double ur age in very similar circumstances but the love of God are her strength, peace and joy. U could as well have been talking about her, from all that u just typed. It is well.
DeleteStella, can u take ds post to ur blog? I want to tag her with some words, bcoz I know she follows u.
ReplyDeleteSay it like you mean it... I am an overcomer.. nothing breaks me. Nothing will stop me from fulfilling my purpose on earth
ReplyDeleteMadame, go sort out ur confusion. This is what happens when one has never been serious about their faith in the first place; and for that matter, runs to wolves in sheep's clothing preaching prosperity rather than faith, spirituality and righteousness.
ReplyDeleteYes, the choice is urs. Take it or leave, nevertheless, God is God. U're doing Him no favour with ur beliefs. So in case this is ur latest 'go to' in attention seeking, u've said nothing new. Ppl have been there before u. Time and circumstance eventually teach them better. Pray that u get ur answers so that u can screw ur head on a little tighter and start getting some true meaning out of life.
you are just a hater and bitter soul...if you call yourself a christian forget it, you are not close to be christlike. hypocrites like you will be thinking their lives are better not knowing that people like tonto will even have Gods ears faster than you....bitter jealous bitch
DeleteAnon@10:55, the problem with ppl like u is self deceit. U like to convince urselves that it must always be 'sugar and cream' U live in MORBID FEAR of the truth. Then again, u are very gullible. What is it about Tonto's life that has ever shown true Christianity, as opposed to attention seeking or grandstanding? Is it her character, language, attitude, morality or what? Now it has reached for her to be talking carelessly about the God that made her as well, right? Like I said up there, her situation is nothing new. Others have been there before her and have called on God in humility, to pull them out of their difficult place. The issue lies in her language and approach; and going by her antecedents,she chose it like that for the sake of attention. If u see nothing wrong in all that and can't shut it down, then u're definitely in no position to be pointing fingers regarding Christianity or Christlikeness. Madame 'I will make Heaven before u' try reading ur Bible a little harder and u will likely come across Proverbs 28:23,"He who rebukes a man will afterwards find more favour than he who flatters with the tongue." The Bible also teaches hard love, okay?
DeleteThen again, don't worry about my relationship with God ...it's sheer bliss! I'm definitely not ranting and crying on social media 24/7.
This lady needs encouragement and the one encouraging her just died # HerStepmum.
ReplyDeleteStella please reach out to her, her friends should do so. Not a crime to love a man and he messes up. May God help her.
Start calling out them fake prophets and pastors that you pimp and do dirty business with ,maybe God will see your repentance and quiet that restless storm in your life but we know you can't because you still the collect pension from them, na still fake prophets and pastors na him donate dollars for this your mama burial
ReplyDeleteIf this is not Tonto chasing clout and seeking attention on social media,then I pray God puts a bridge over the troubled water of her life
ReplyDeleteI feel you nne,it is what it is.
ReplyDeleteU aren't the only one
But in all this count your blessings and name then one by one and see that God loves you more than u can imagine.
U are healthy.
U are popular.
U can afford basic things
U have assets.
U have a son.
That son is heathy!
His future is bright!
Why can't you get up and make it right!!
Death is inevitable,know this and know peace!!!
U ask God questions without wanting to get answers
U are just ranting cos u lost a step mum.
Don't be your own problem sis!
Take one step at a time and u LL be fine.
E hugs
Who does not doubt the existence of God when one goes through a period of bereavement, failure in one's life? Even Nietsche doubted the existence of God and claimed that we will only find out the truth when we die. There is nothing wrong with Tonto and she is not having suicidal thought. You are exagerating. Tonto is just writing down her pain, instead of keeping it to herself
ReplyDeleteShe shd keep it to herself or talk to those around her, particularly genuine men of God. Ranting on social media and dragging fragile souls to confusion and faithlessness in the process doesn't help anything; moreso when the person ranting is most likely on another attention-seeking spree.
DeleteThey should bundle this woman and take her to a therapist. Believe me that social media has pushed many to mental illness.
ReplyDeleteTonto light. Count your blessings!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTonto
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing person
Don't give up. It's just a feeling. God is real and he loves you.
Look at all you have been through, it could have swallowed you but it didn't. You are a hero.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Tonto i understand you so well bc this is where i am right now
ReplyDeleteQeustioning Gods existence.I can't even pray again
Abeg anyhow e wan be make e be
I don tire for life
Person die go rest sef better pass to live this kind life
Dont give up...I dont know what the situation is but even if you can pray just sing praises. No situation is difficult or a surprise for God...stay on the alter of fire NSPPD (that is if you haven't) and just be saying Amen to every prayer point. Never give up, the battle is the lords..
DeleteI have observed to to from afar. That kill has personal relationships with God and God love her soooooo much. She know she can get anything she want from him. I enjoy this kind of relationship. When God loves you he will constantly prepare table in the presence of your enemy. Again na who be your friend dey enter table with you. Enemy can come within. Even Doris Simmons can act enemy. Tonto forgive your people around you. You can never have a loyal friend on this earth. God will keep using them to push you up to sky. Again if you don't forgive them na you loose. Tonto heaven is made with 12 gates. You must follow the 4th gate. Go and study about Judah. Learn what isaac said when he was blessing him. Learn his love for money and women. Tonto forgive forgive. Tonto the pain is much forgive. If you want friendship ask God you need a friend like job who prays for you by God instructions. Tonto God loves you soooooo much. Sidechic mummy GO
ReplyDeleteI did not read that as dying soon, I think she meant in that place of questioning God and feelings IMO..
ReplyDelete