Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
AT A CROSS ROAD
I am very upset and very confused about what to do that is why I am sending this in, if i make the wrong move, I am scared of the tables being turned on me when this all blows....
I live with my sister and her husband and I am financially dependent on them right now for everything. it is the way my sister wants it cos she wants me around her to monitor me until i can finish the projects i am currently occupied with....
I recently made a shocking discovery that has given me sleepless nights....
One of my sisters friends (not too close friend though) is dating her hubby. I dont have proof but i have seen them together and seen enough to know that they are in an affair... I have even taken a bike before to trail them to a hotel but did not go in and they did not come out again that day.. When i later asked my sister the whereabouts of her hubby, she told me he was out of town and would be back after the weekend.....
I am confused and very upset.....
Should i just keep shut and mind my business?
Should i confront my sisters friend?
Should i confront my brother in law?
Should i tell my sister even though i dont have evidence?
My sister recently had a girly night out with this same friend and i am scared she might try to harm my sister just to fully have her husband.
I have not discussed this with anyone so its eating me up...
What do i do?
Hmmmmmm i am tongue tied.. Please do not tell your sister anything.
If you confront the husband, he will plot your leaving his house in a disgraceful way and he might pin some lies on you ...
If you confront the friend, she will tell him.
Since nobody knows that you know, please let it be......Dont break up your sister's Marriage, she may find out by herself sooner or later. let me read comments abeg....
Dont let them know u know. Get any anonymous sim and tip your sister off, if she is smart, she will bust them. Do not let anyone know you know, else you will get blamed since u got no evidence, they will deny n deny. Married Women with plenty friends, shine your eyes. For a while a very yellow n black IG unbreakable besties have parted ways, things like these caused it.
ReplyDeleteMy blood sister? I will tell her. Let the sky fall I don't care. If she like make she drive me commot. But poster I am speaking for myself not you. I hate what I hate. The ball is in your court.
DeleteMy own blood sister?
DeleteI will definitely tell her.
I don’t care what happens o, I will get someone more mature to pass the message but my sister has to know.
This cheating thing is one of the major reasons women are bitter. If this one fought her husband now to stay away 4m her friends they will call her insecure. Now see!
DeleteMy sister???
DeleteOmo I don tell am finish self.
This is the reason why I dont keep friends, a lot of them will be eyeing your husband. PLEASE tell your sister anonymously or tell her you had a dream and you were warned to keep it a secret until she has done her findings ( you can tell your mum to be the one to call her). Tell her before the horse band gives her STD or spiritual attack. I lost my sister to this scenario and I regret not speaking up. Shogbo?
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me when I was in school and used to spend weekends at my uncle's who was a Professor. His wife was nice and I loved her. My uncle started dating this girl, I didn't want to tell my aunt and couldn't just watch the affair continue as I went to her hostel and confronted her. Caused a scene. She told my uncle and the vindictive spirit in him made this man that was like a father to me become a brazen devil. I didn't mind. It got so bad his wife found out what's up.
DeleteThat marriage has not been the same. In fact it got worse when my uncle refused to let go and the girl too stayed put way after graduation.
Bottom line...all the options are viable but non of it is sure to work. It all depends on if the man wants to be snatched/ready to sacrifice his marriage or if he still has a soul.
I think you should tell her what you saw.
If she was a random woman I would've said you should mind your business. But this woman is her friend, if she poisons your sister now na una go loose. Tell your sister the truth, it will break her heart and the heat might still turn back on you and you might be sent packing. Honestly, let me follow and read comments.
ReplyDeleteNext time you see them;make a video..
ReplyDeleteDo it several times,different videos with different locations and their various outfit..
Get another sim;open a WhatsApp and send all those videos to your sister,then wait for any question she has..
While making the previous videos,make another one clearly with your voice and state the date and location you took the video..
Send these ones to her so she will now know you are the one who made the video..
I rather leave my siblings home and be homeless than watch any husband of theirs do this to them simply because of what I'm gaining from them..
Your videos should be specific on when they are going to hotels;bar and so on,not when they are standing just outside,video them and video the name of that hotel so there wont be doubt..
Let him explain to his wife if its praise and worship he went to do in a hotel with her friend and how long their deliverance session lasted..
This is not about wrecking her home but keeping her alive cos that friend will sure poison her to take over so she better beware..
So choose today,your sis alive or her friend or husband killing her to be together..
@MARTINS
The best advice 👍. If you love your sister please take this piece of advice up there. You will be doing her a world of good before an unfriendly friend eliminates her quickly or gradually.
DeletePlease tip your sister anonymously. Tell her to pay close attention to such a friend. I had same experience where I caught my brothers wife to be in bed with an Onga company Manager in Asaba. Took me days before I could muster the courage to tell brother, well ladies and Gents I did find the courage to tell my brother, but I paid dearly long story short he chased me out of the house when they reconciled went ahead to marry her and then five years down the line they were divorced.Truth is before your sister will realise you were actually looking out for her, things would have spoilt. So do it anonymously. Since you have a lot of time in your hands, you can do the trailing next time and give your sister the tip anonymously. But I won't support not telling your sister.
DeleteMartins this is a full time FBI job O. She needs to go to a training academy and federal government funding for logistics and gadgets to pull this off seemlessly.😂
Delete���������������������� No be small thing, Martins
DeleteYou will be doing your sister a whole world of good if she knows what you already know. Highest you can is to get as much evidence as you can. Do it anonymously if you can too. Na wa for this life o! Household enemies everywhere!
DeleteHmmm.Things dey occur and i go suggest say make you confront your sister friend o
ReplyDeleteTell your brother-in-law to desist or you can tell your sister too
ReplyDeleteHe will poison the sister's mind against her before she reports.
DeleteDon’t try this Poster. Tell your sister direct!
DeleteListen you might have to go the anonymous route and give her leads , if anything happens to your sister, you will never forgive yourself! If the lady was an unknown woman to your sis, fine I might say don't tell her, but a friend she hangs out with, dines with,hmmmmm.the heart of man is desperately wicked! Women who sleep with married men esp are the lowest of dogs, hiding from one hotel to another, if she can sleep with her friends hubby, she can equally kill!
ReplyDeleteI agree.
DeleteTake this advice and act fast.
DeleteNahhh it's friends who sleep with their friends' husbands that are the lowest. But the absolute bottom-pit, lowest of the low, belonging in the deepest pits of hell pieces of trash, are the husbands who took vows before God & men to be faithful, yet sleep with other women including their wives' friends. Those are demons to be scared of. Tufiakwa!
Delete"Women who sleep with married men esp are the lowest of dogs".😭😭😭😭
DeletePoster this the punch line!!!
Stella should consider making a post with this heading.
Exactly
DeleteLily Rose,it's like you are justifying women sleeping with married men,provided they are not friends with the man's wife. Are you one of them? Your doomsday is near,if you are sleeping with a married man.
DeleteAnon 18:06
DeleteJustifying kè? Some of you ehn... I am only adding to her comment. I was simply adding the remaining accomplices to the pit, explaining that friends who sleep with their friend's men are even far worse than random side chicks & even lower in the scum hierarchy. No where did I support nor justify anything. Na wa for una o. Pls dey calm down o, I no dey fuck your loose horseband. Kai
Pls tell your sister to be careful of her friend. You don't have to give details. But tell her that you have a funny feeling about her friend and she should be careful.
ReplyDeleteIts good to find a way around to give a warning. You are right she can harm your sister.
People are wicked and have no fear of God anymore.
I will surely find a way to protect my sister.
Think about it.
You can take Martin's suggestions.
I agree with u. She shld be careful of her
DeleteFriends from the pit of Hell. Poster if I were you, I'll snitch. Yes my sis will know everything. That friend might even infect him and he'll transfer it to your sister. Tell your sister before it's too late, there's no way your sister wouldn't believe you as long as you're an honest person.
ReplyDeleteI don't care how you tell your sister, you have to let her know. Go anonymous if you must, she needs to know her life is at risk especially as she's still so close to the said friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of a husband is this sef? So low!
DO NOT MIND YOUR BUSINESS. Your loyalty lies with your sister,not her husband or her marriage. Her life and well being comes first. I don't understand why most women hate hearing such news about their husbands especially from their sisters. I will never forgive my sister if I found out she knew about my husband's infidelity and never told me. So many what ifs... What if the side fowl hurts me to be with hubby? What if I get an untreatable disease? What if hubby wants to get rid of me? What if...????
ReplyDeleteYou alone know how your sister will react to such news. If you aren't sure,'use style' and introduce it as another person's gist and see her reaction. Better still,use an unknown sim and forward evidence to her via WhatsApp. This will absolve you from every blame. Nobody will know you were even involved. Please resist the urge to tell your brother inlaw or to confront her friend. You are only hastening your exit from that house and your sister's life. Generally speaking, no brother inlaw will inform his brother's wife that he knows of her infidelity so let's return the favour.
Last bullet: What kinda useless husband sleeps with his wife's close friend? Babes don finish for street,na wifey's friend your eye dey enter.
I know a couple. The husband is a serious community prick here in Abuja. They are a young couple o but this man's infidelities have driven his wife's self esteem to the ground. He doesnt even try hard to hide his waka; she's always catching him, yet he would fight her badly. It got so bad that HE ASKED ONE OF HER CLOSE FRIENDS OUT. The friend (who is a good friend of mine) hasn't told her, she can't bring herself to.
DeleteIt just seems to me like the toad actually HATES his wife! Because what manner of scum goes after his wife's friends?? Despite all his other side chicks? I honestly think they derive joy from the pain of their wives. To make it worse, she does most of the providing in the home as she has a well paying job and from a rich home.
Seems to me that the otumokpo she used to tie his backfired
Delete@anon 17:10, It seems you have no idea that we have so many useless men wandering about. Who are the men sleeping with their daughters? Who are the men raping little kids? Who are the men forcing their wives' sisters to bed? There are all around us and they don't/didn't need otumokpo to behave so. Why is it that when a man misbehaves in this part of the world, we are quick to attribute it to spiritual stuff,but otherwise for women? Nonsense.
Delete@anon16:25, the fact that the lady is even the major financial contributor in the marriage is paining my chest. She seems to be the one under a spell.
"she does most of the providing in the home as she has a well paying job and from a rich home". That's where the problem lies. Those two points are what he is fighting and openly cheating to pad up his ego makes him feel like a man. May God help her.
Delete@ak47
DeleteI concur. I can NEVER MIND MY BUSINESS in an issue like this. My own blood sister, I’m telling!!! Because I would like to know too if my sister or friend has that kind of info about my husband.
I concur with martins, 👍 👌 follow ASAP!
ReplyDeleteWhether you keep friends as a married woman or not man wey wan cheat go cheat. Poster just do what will make you sleep well at night
ReplyDeleteWow...this is a whole lot.
ReplyDeleteHere I am wondering what I would do if I were in your shoes. It will hurt to stand by and watch my sister being lied to and cheated on by her husband. It will hurt so much!
But on on the other hand, I know I need to be careful in divulging this dirty secret knowing that most people do not have the capacity to handle this kind of news maturedly. People have killed their spouses in the heat of the moment. Because in that moment, they are not thinking straight. Anything can happen.
So what do I do to ensure that I do not leave this sin unexposed and at the same time ensure that nobody is hurt in the process? Because personally speaking,it will be impossible for me not to expose that man for if I don't, it's tantamount to me being indirectly a party to the wrong he is doing, and God wouldn't want that.
In this situation, I know I will have to fully rely on the Holy Spirit to lead me to know the wise thing to do.
This sin should be and must be exposed but it must be done with wisdom so that nobody is physically hurt.
Hmmm...it is well. Just today I was thinking on this question:
If someone is to treat you exactly the way you are treating your spouse, your friend, your colleague, your student, your employee, your neighbor, your subordinate etc, how would you feel? Will the world be a better place?
Why do people take joy hurting their spouses and when the same attitude is dished to them, they can't take it? If we will abide by Jesus's golden rule, ' Do unto others what you want others to do unto you', this world will be a much better place.
Because before you take an action, you will put yourself in that person's shoes and consider how that action will affect them.
Let's grow some empathy. When we make decisions, it affects other people too. Don't just think only about your happiness, think about the happiness of others. Enough of this selfish lifestyle.
😔😔😔😔
You guys are joking abi? The right thing to do is to tell your sister ozugbo ozugbo.
ReplyDeleteJust find a way to break the friendship between your sister and the lady...
ReplyDeleteDon't tell her about the affair else your sister will move out with you and she will move in
And so fuck what if she moves out? Is this someone worth called a man, let alone a husband? Some of you ehn, your brains & self esteem are underneath your feet. God forbid!
DeleteGet to know where they are "lodged" like the last time and send your sister an anonymous message.
ReplyDeleteCase closed.🩸
Na wa oooooooooo. What is all this na?! Well you can't talk sha because if its me, I will keep quiet and not wreck my sister's marriage. As in, nor be everything dem dey talk come out. You fit leave all the clues in the world and you fit turn bad person. So shut up. It's not your marriage ooooo. You talk, you spoil everything. Just shut up.
ReplyDeleteThat is because u nigerians/africans value the 'Mrs' title even more than your own siblings' lives & happiness.
DeleteImagine "minding your own business" ontop your own blood sister who is good to you. You repay her by minding your business when her own friend & husband are betraying her. You are sha the biggest betrayer as her own blood. But 'Mrs' title is above all else I guess.
It is well with you people
Nigeria ladies with very low self esteem, see advice! Chai!
DeleteWhat you don’t know cannot kill you, it has nothing to do with the answering MRS. People are too quick to tell another person how to rock their marriage bed but would definitely not do as they have advised when it comes to their. Some would even hide and you will never know. If it is not easy to get married why must it be easy to quickly part ways? Or you think it is just for fun that you should stay separated for two years before a proper divorce, no it’s to give room for reconciliation…. I certainly don’t understand… let any woman decides when she wants to give up her marriage or keep answering MRS, were you in the know when they started their relationship? How does it concern anyone?
DeletePoster begin by giving the both of them the coldest shoulder when you see them around your sister, she will ask what happened then you can begin to spill little by little but make sure you let your mother be aware
It is better and easier to talk in government matter than marriage matter o. You may think you're doing your sis a favour, if them fuck away your matter, you go turn bad person now now. Infact, the way the Matta go change, go shock you. Dem nor dey too put mouth for husband and wife Matta o. Toto and prick Sabi settle well well. I still maintain my chair. Shut up!! Nor be your marriage o. Go and marriage your own marriage and wait for person to tell you when there is a cheating or a caught. Shikena
DeleteYeye p. I like how blunt you but this advice no follow. We are asking her to do secretly.
DeleteWhat if they plan evil for the her sister.... God forbid and God has helped her to be aware to avoid the calamity.
I love my sister too much to allow her to be blind in matters like this.
Eniyan mi Engraced - my dear, I love you paa! But you see husband and wife hen, If they settle right now, you go turn bad person for trying to seperate them with your evidence. My sister, I have seen it happen live. The woman's brothers came to beat the husband for beating her up. They didn't meet him so they all left but one..who was to stay at home with her, my sister dead in the night, broda woke up to go and pee and heard better fucking coming out of their bedroom. In the morning, the husband now started asking him when and why did he come and when is he leaving.. the fight was not here o but shey you see how prick and toto dey settle? Engraced mi, I nor dey try am, if you're married, before you jump put inside another husband and wife Matter, just do like chicken first, one leg up and one leg down. Na brain dem dey use kill rat for Claypot otherwise, you go break your pot and the rat go escape.
Delete16.30 and 17.51
DeleteLeave Nigerian/African ladies out of this please. You have most of the ladies on here saying they will tell but you want base your generalization on one ‘off’ comment out of fifty.
Leave us please.
I will not even think twice to tell her,I may end up been too careful and and loose her to HIV or diabolical attack by her bestie.
ReplyDeleteI hope you know that the husband can connive with the bestie to eliminate your sis .
DeleteLife happens o
Hmmm, things dey ooo, people no get conscience that a man's enemy na member of his household strong ooo, Imagine her darling husband,how emotionally strong is your sister , how does she handle pains and shock, cos I will advise you go with @Martins advice but other siblings to show her the evidence then una go share ideas together with her as a family on how to overcome it away from her matrimonial home. Maybe invite her to parents house or any siblings house, but don't keep quiet cos it's deadly. I saw a story where a brother killed his brother in Afghanistan and lied to the family the Taliban kidnapped him , everyone believed him and are crying over his kidnapped that they might have killed him, the nephew found out through locals that a man killed a man and paid them to dispose the body and identified the man as his uncle and the killed ,the uncle too( brother to the killer), the secret is weighing the nephew down watching everyone sad about the disappearance and the killer uncle showing no remorse.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't get an anonymous sim considering one has to register these days, you can open a new email instead and attach the necessary pictures/videos and other details.
ReplyDeleteLord knows I'd be broken her frd's neck with a kick and the both of us will head straight to the police station to air our grievances, let her explain what she was doing with my sister's husband.
ReplyDeletePlease tell your sister before that wicked friend hurt her. You can get a new sim and text her if you can't tell her directly.
ReplyDeleteWhat if this is her KARMA? What if your sister slept with other people's husband in the past? What if your sister snatched the husband from someone else? Just asking.
ReplyDeleteWell, she is not aware of that. You don’t have to offend someone before evil people offend you. Sister save your sister fast.
DeleteAbegi keep quiet. Oga karma
DeleteI guess you should with Stella for this one!!! My dear I have been there! It was years ago! while my sister was in the labor room, her husband was busy chasing house maid around! I told her o!!! The randy goat ended up destroying our family bond! My sister is very rich!! Trained all her kids abroad for the man, then when she was starting up, she dated wealthy men, but married this low life because she wanted the we made it together story! Even the man knew my sister was dating men to get contract too, when she discovered his useless ways!!! They are still together. Two pea in a pod of useless people!!! Let me not spill too much!!! My dear you know your sister, and her emotions!!!Mind your business and look for a way to leave her house and go mind your own business !!! If she listens to you, just tell her to stay away from the friend. She should most importantly cut the friend off and not let her husband know the action is from you!!! Shalom
ReplyDeleteI'll say find out first if your sister wants to be told. Feel her pulse during gusts. You have no idea how many married women know the nature of their randy husbands but can't do anything about it because they're completely dependent (financially and emotionally) on the men.
ReplyDeleteDon't be shocked if she stylishly turns it in your head too.
Wake up one night and start screaming (make sure both of them are home). When they ask you what happened, tell them you had a dream where you saw the friend harming your sister because she wanted the husband to herself. The truth will unravel itself.
ReplyDeleteMy sister husband arrived from the UK, to follow up on some family affairs and project. While here he decided to play around, in fact he slept with a strange Lady in the same apartment with me. My amebo mouth did not allow me to keep mute, I eventually told my sister while he was on flight back to the UK. My sister promised not to react and that she won't tell him I was the one that told her. Prior before then I was the one handling their building project in Nigeria, to cut the long story short, the building project was taken from me, my sister obviously did not keep to her promise, the husband knew I did told my sister about his phlindering ways, all the tips I was getting wasn't there anymore. The husband stop giving me face. I regretted doing that but I was glad I saved my sister marriage, because the way the guy was going about it when he came, maybe by now the other strange lady would have usurped my sisters home.
ReplyDeletemaybe you can register a line and use it to tell your sister, then trail the man like you did when you see both of them in a particular place call your sister to come and catch them by herself.
ReplyDeleteHmmm!
ReplyDelete