Hmmm....
ADVICE NEEDED ON LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP:
There is a guy who wants a relationship with me, He lives in another state which is like 4 hours or so from where I live.
I told him that we should find a way of meeting (cos we met on one online group like that for another thing entirely) He said it's when the relationship is already leading to marriage that he can show)
I did not agree to that, dating someone I have not met one on one and also living in a far place .
So after a year, we reconnected again and after few months, he had a program to attend in my state, he told me about it and we also agreed its a good opportunity for us to see. He came for the one week program, we booked a day for meeting but he did not show up only for him to tell me he will be going back with his colleagues that day. I just concluded that he is not serious But he is still saying he wants a relationship. Please guys what do you think?
*Maybe the time to meet is not right... maybe he chickened out...
There is no harm in dating him long distance, you never know.... stop acting desperate to see him and just take every day as it comes.... If you meet someone in your state along the line, all the better for you..
You better find your square root,guy is not serious all
ReplyDeleteThe guy is not serious rara. So he couldn't spare few hours to see you? and he can't arrange a meeting since the distance is not that far. He's simply a time waster.
DeleteGive the young man a chance and do not write him off just like that because you have not me
ReplyDelete*Met*
DeleteYou are dating urself!!! Forget that phantom and move on!!!
DeleteTake Mrs Korkus advise I agree with her
ReplyDeleteSisterly,dey calm down na and give the guy man time to come around.
ReplyDeleteYou don't enjoy the chatting to pass boredom? Please, such guys come in very handy to distract you from being desperate with the real life candidates nor. Keep a healthy friend zone. It's not every guy that says hello that you will be day dreaming about.
ReplyDeleteKeeping such guys help you focus and have standards and not jump on any Tom and Dick out of loneliness and boredom.
My advice: Keep him and enjoy the "audio relationship" while it lasts.
Ms Saphire mwaaaah! am not the poster
DeleteExactly what I thought when I read the chronicle.
DeleteIt's a perfect distraction. And nothing like a guy trying to have sex with you. Just enjoy good conversation and try to bond with him without putting marriage in front, while at the same time exploring other options.
People chase away something that would have turned into a beautiful union because they are so desperate about marriage. As such they tend to just analyze the situation short term and if it seems marriage is not near in sight, they right it off, yet end up wasting more time looking for who they think is ready for marriage, only to end up getting lied to and disappointed.
You better zero that unserious fellow from ur life. He cannot make himself available for one day he's in town, how dyu think a long distance relationship will look like for both of u.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, this one is a no brainer. Do not enter into a relationship with him.
Poster, come and get sense here oh.
DeleteThank u joy
DeleteJoy u nailed it. It's a no. U can keep taking his calls and using him to pass time while looking for a serious man.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣16:36, you just cracked me up with your comment.
DeleteNice one Joy!
Don't put all your eggs in one basket
ReplyDeleteHe is not a serious person.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who lives abroad has already booked a flight to see me with more that 18 hours with layover (to &fro). I haven't seen this person in years.
Then it's someone who lives next door that is playing boju boju with you? He should be eager to see you and making every effort to do so.
You are not his priority, just one of his options.
Get rid of him and focus your energy on someone who is as eager to meet you and make your relationship bloom.
This is 2022, no time for time wasters.
👏👏👏
DeletePoster there are pros and cons of long distance relationships because both parties will keep second-guessing, no physical contact or seeing real emotions of the other person you are involved in....
ReplyDeleteYou are right that you have to see each other but from your narration he came to your state for official purposes and so the timing was not just right depending on what he came for...
What I will say is just keep being friends and continue observing him..Not all relationships will lead to marriage; just cool down and shine ya eyes wella..It will happen when it will happen...Please don't be desperate..Men are like sharks they can smell a litre of desperation from thousands of miles...All the best dear..
There is a lot of harm dating him , please don’t take that guy serious , he’ll only waste your time …… 4hrs is not too long to see someone you want to be involve with and please don’t go seeing him …..
ReplyDeleteThis
DeleteHe couldn't even spare 30 minutes. Very unserious
DeleteMaybe he came and he didn't like what he saw,just saying maybe....
ReplyDeletePoster please calm down,let things flow naturally,what will be will surely be.
One chance one perfect chance....paw paw de go enter😂.....They go take your money them go take your property...Enterr...Look well well common passenger...Enter...One chance one perfect chance paw paw de go enttterrrr
ReplyDeleteThe advice Stella gives sometimes sha !!!
ReplyDeleteIf that guy was really keen about you, you could have made out time for you people to see, forget him!!!
Hope u haven't caught feelings cos d guy doesn't really dig you, if he did, he would see u, no matter what, even if he wanted to nack, he wouldve still made out time to back.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is not really interested in the relationship.If he is,he will be eager for a face to face meeting.Follow Stella's advice and allow him put his energy where he puts his mouth.
ReplyDeleteHe is not serious. Someone you have been talking to for sometime and want a relationship with, you still couldn't make out time to see her even for 30 mins while in her state? Please find a proper relationship.
ReplyDeleteMy dear distance relationship is not easy o. I must confess. If you can get it one day at a time better and see how it goes. When love is involved distance shouldn't be more worrisome
ReplyDeleteYou guys are not in a relationship, you are just pen pals.
ReplyDeleteSimple
DeleteHow can you be dating someone you have not seen in person? Pictures are deceptive. Mannerism nko?
ReplyDeleteIts a different thing chatting blindly and when you finally meet in person. Its a different picture all together.
Poster, there is something unreal about that guy. He even came to your location and not find a way to meet with you. Hmmmmm is he man enough?
If you are like me. I can never take a man serious if I am yet to see him in person and size him up. They appear nice in pictures online /WhatsApp when you see them in real life, they look like agbero, with body/mouth odour. Dirty looking being
If he is sure of himself,he will make a way.
Take it slow with him. Insist you can't take him very serious until after meeting in person.We are talking of look distance relationship here.
Close to marriage?
DeleteSo by then if he emerges and you don't like what you see, emotions would have beclouded you to "manage" or tolerate him
So it would be too late abi?
Plz keep him at arms length! My goodness! Someone you been talking to and wants something serious with, you come to their base and you can't even see the person? PLZZZZ let him go. Even for 30 minutes? That's an unserious fellow right there.
ReplyDeleteI will never advise anybody to get serious with someone that they have never seen face to face. There is something called spiritual connection which only happens when you see the person face to face. Speaking from experience, when you talk over the phone, you are imagining things as against when you and the person are talking physically. It can either be a hit or miss with the connection but it is best to check out which before starting what might end on premium tears. Relationships are all about sacrifice and if nobody is ready to shift then it simply means the two parties aren’t ready to commit. 4 hours is not a long time. If he is really serious, he can plan a short weekend trip and both parties meet half way. I don’t agree with Stella’s response that she is acting desperate. It’s her intuition already telling her to be wise and smart in her choices, but we always try to kill it and go ahead with our mind until things turn sour. He spent one week at your location and didn’t factor in seeing you even if it was just for a few seconds. Open your eyes and don’t get carried away. My two cents
ReplyDeleteHe is not serious. He is probably married or lives with a girlfriend. Have you done video calls with him? How he reacts to that will tell you more.
ReplyDeleteHe is a time waster. Please trust your instincts and move on.
Poster this guy isn't serious na.He kept dodging seeing you.Im sure he's one of those guys that ask for phone sex and all those rubbish.Hes a time waster.
ReplyDeleteBabe keep moving🚶🚶🚶 this vehicle is brimful. Still communicate with him if you wish but please don't take him serious. He does not want you. When someone values you. He does everything within his ability to make you happy.
ReplyDeletePlease don't take him serious,he should have created time to see you when he was in your town.In my own opinion I will just keep him as a FRIEND but if it's beginning to affect you mentally in a negative way biko let go.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, he is not serious about the relationship
ReplyDeleteA serious person that knows what they want will always make out time for what is important to them,even if they are the president of the whole world.There you have it,no timd for time wasters,keep it moving,you never reach your bustop.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't waste your time on any relationship without future to avoid another chronicle. The guy is not serious.
ReplyDeleteHe’s married. Only flirting with you.
ReplyDeletePoster fellow Stella red pen,I and my husband dated for four years before we met and today we're happily married.poster
ReplyDeleteThat it worked for you doesn’t mean it works for others. Your case is an exception not the norm. Poster better leave that unserious man and move on.
Delete18.18 but that's exactly the point. There are exceptions to every rule, so poster should be allowed to make her decision knowing this.
DeleteSo aunty 4 years, did your husband ever come to your location at the time of dating and make NO attempt to see you?
DeleteWe are not talking about how many years you dated, resist being confused.
He is obviously not serious. Men make out time for what they want. No excuses.
ReplyDeletePoster I will suggest you keep him as a friend for now and see if things will move to the next level. You said he came to your state for official work whilst possible he was busy, you didn't also explained his kind of work to help us understand his situation.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot conclude because he was busy, since no sex talk or send naked pictures just be friends and talk normal with him. Keep on watching him to discover if he truly values you and then you can decide if you want to date him or not. Please I will say do video call to be sure he is what you want to order from online 😉 😀 😊 😄 🙂 ☺
He is not a serious being,besides,it is possible he is married and just playing,if he really wants you,he will find time to see you, the right person will come
ReplyDeleteHe isn't serious about you
ReplyDeleteMay be the man is married or something is wrong somewhere.
ReplyDelete"it is when the relationship is already leading to marriage that he can show"...what the heck does that even mean? and you are just 4 hours away? you reconnected after a year and he came to your town and could not make out time to see you? the guy is either married, just using you to fill time or fake as hell. just enjoy the chats and face front.
ReplyDelete