STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BIG DISAPPOINTMENT
I’m bothered and sort of disappointed in my father. I spent my savings Building this man a house…no be say I too get. But I spent over 14 million Building him a house and currently furnishing it. But he goes around giving the credit to my brother.
He is Telling people his son built him a house…initially, I agreed when he told me he wanted to tell people it’s his son…but now, I’m feeling bad. Is he not supposed to give honor to whom honor is due?
Regardless of male or female…I just had the courage to tell him that if I were a boy, he would have given me the credit…tomorrow, our children, grandchildren, etc will always hear of the proud time their dad/ uncle, built a house for their grandparents, and my children will never know I did it…
*Why did you allow him to tell people that your brother is the one building the house? I dont even know what to say... WHAT!!!!
Please tell your father to change the Narrative to what it is..
You shouldn't have agreed to that. He should give credit to you, and NOT your brother.
ReplyDelete@Candy, you are right. I'd like to know why she agreed with her dad to go with the narrative in the first instance. All she had to do is to go back and tell her dad she isn't happy about it any more.
DeleteNa wa o.
DeleteTor! Poster Stop furnishing it and save your money nah. Let your brother continue from where you stopped. Buy your own land, build and put tenants and be collecting rent. This is why Igbo women suffer when their husbands die because most of their men believe a woman should not own land, a house, or even a car. They won't mind the woman spending the money as long as she puts the items in a man's name, e.g. her husband or her father/brother (if she is unmarried).
DeleteI once met a guy that I thought had sense, with his foreign degrees et al, who I asked to link me up to land in an area I was interested in. I wanted to buy and someone already told me he had the connect. He asked me why a girl will want to buy land. It wasn't just what he said but how he said it; Like it was the most stupid idea he has ever heard. Yes, I was young but I was blessed to land a good job after Uni. I just shut up, we finished eating and I made sure I paid our bill (even though he wanted to) and that was the last day he saw me. I took off and never looked back. There was no point wasting my time trying to change his mindset; it was obvious we were not on the same wavelength because my dream was to own properties left-right-and-center.
And you bro kept quiet and is receiving unusual praise.
ReplyDeleteCall your dad and tell him...period. Inukwa! Tell him that you will stop furnishing the house o. Is it a sin for a female child to build a house for her parents?
DeleteIf I were you I would keep my receipts.... Automatically now if anything happens,your brother will claim the house in the future or his children. Keep receipts and proof. Draft an agreement and let your father sign before you hand over the keys to him. It would have been better to say that it was joint effort than to say your brother did it. Rectify this now quietly while he is still alive
ReplyDeleteLmao. Receipts ke. If it’s in their village, that house can never belong to her. Her brother will lock them out and their elders will support him. After all, their father said it’s his son who built it???. Ighotagho
DeleteYes I support this... especially he part where she draft an agreement for him to sign that the house belongs to her and not her brother or she makes a call and records their conversation. Any sort of proof that confirms she's the owner Codedly.. you can also call a meeting and express yourself so that you have witnesses
DeleteThis is why lies are bad
DeleteYes, rectify it now so that your bros wont stop you from entering the house in the future.
DeleteFabu!
ReplyDeleteTrust me these things happen,directly or indirectly it does happen.
DeleteFabu how?
DeleteWhat are you saying! These things happen!
DeleteWhy is your dad ashamed to tell the world his daughter is the one who built him a house? That is not fair. Credit should be given to whom it’s due irrespective of gender or calling.
ReplyDeleteSome parents make it look as though having female children is not good enough for them but I stand to defend the fact that some females are much more better than some males.
Sis, you have done well for your dad. Please make sure you let the world know you did that.
Im sure the poster is ibo and her dad is ashamed to tell people that she built him a house because she isn't married yet.
DeleteBut she was good enough to build house?
DeleteYou spent 14m to build a house to pump some peoples ego , poster have you built a house for yourself?
Misogyny in its full "glory" in 2022 and you "went along with it"?
Women love yourself
Stop seeing yourselves as inferior
Even GOD thought you were worth saving
Ask the Samaritan woman at the well!
Anon it is Igbo not ibo. What is wrong with y'all?
DeleteYour dad is living in denial that his son will probably not be able to do for him what he expected. And you that he never thought will be able to do this much for him is the one doing it.
ReplyDeleteHe is living a lie. And a lie will always be a lie.
You need to jolt him back to reality. Since rthe furnishing is not done. Maybe be you should halt it. And tell him to tell his son to finish it.
By the way who is going to Will the house to? I'm not wishing him dead. But again, he won't live forever.
Make sure this property is in your name before he dies if not na your brother house. My father introduced me as one of the owners of my own house I sent money to build he now lives there. I tear like rubber for the tenant front I shouted which co owners?!! I’m the sole owner oo don’t listen to him It was a big Wahala. My elder bro buys stuff like household items that are damaged eg AC , generator should I be worried?
DeletePlease be on your guard.
DeleteMake sure you have the ORIGINAL documents with your name a sole owner clearly written. Not Mrs Nkan Be. Your full name written with all the syllables.
Since your brother buys those items, yes he considers it his house as well. And will not relinquish ownership without a fight.
Better start securing what is yours and get a lawyer who knows the job and has common sense.
Or else, you see that house? E go do you like film trick. Na you go be visitor wey gateman no go even attend to.
Thanks @anon17.29
DeleteI think you should talk to your father about your discontent. He has do better and give you credit for what you are doing. He is trying to build up a reputation for a son who probably dont even care about him, a son who might never even think he has a father to care for at the expense of his blessed daughter. If he doesn't change the narrative, he should tell his son to complete the house for him.
ReplyDeleteYou have done a good thing to build a house for your father, maybe you should have build the house for yourself, and let him move into it and stay in it as the owner but it still remains yours. For this particular house, your brother might claim ownership of it in the future except you are cool with it.
Address the issue with him, and let people know you built it especially your extended family, and correct him with respect when he does that outside
ReplyDeleteSo wrong of your dad. Does he feel telling people it's his daughter that's building him a house will make them say 'his son can't build him a house it's his daughter'? in other word, that's an abomination? Your dad has an archaic mentality. Like you said, he should give honour to whom honour is due. You shouldn't have agreed to what he told you, you have to make it known to him now how you feel about it all. The same way he goes about telling people it's his son that's building him a house, he should also go about telling them it's actually his daughter. You're building him a house because what a man can do, a woman can do too. If his son is not financially capable to build him a house and God has blessed you to do that, so be it. He should be proud his daughter could do such a huge thing as building her father a house.
ReplyDeleteWomen going through a lot. The other day I heard of a man selling off all his property because he has only female children and they would all be married out one day.
ReplyDeleteThis would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
DeleteOne day na so your brother go come claim house wey no contribute I spec of dust to.
ReplyDeleteYou better start plastering your name all over the house (not by word of mouth) before them do you strong thing.
You should never sell your birthright, it has always been evil.
Stop furnishing it so his precious son can continue from where you stopped. Rubbish!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so painful and annoying.
Tell him if he doesn't give you credit, you will wash your hands off.
If you knew it would bother you so much, you shouldn't have agreed to it.
ReplyDeleteIt is all about you and what you want. Since you want your name mentioned, tell him. I like a private life, I give in disguise. I have trained people in school and trade, but they don’t know me, Don’t be angry, he may be trying to hide your brother”s shame.
ReplyDeleteWhat shame?
DeleteThe brother cannot or did not want to build a house
So how is it shameful?
All the lies based manipulation and emotional blackmail that are to the benefit of only selfish people putting women at a disadvantage has to END
He will also will the property to your brother hope you’re cool with this as well
ReplyDeleteEven if you didn't agree he still would have gone ahead to tell people it's his son that built the house.
ReplyDeleteForget about it.
Your reward is definitely great, its only God that can reward you.
Ignore him.
Except you will put up a moulded/painted statue stating you built & presented the house to your father right in the compound on the building....
I'm sure you don't want that
Well said. Thank you.
DeleteGosh I hate this word ignore. Ignore him for what!?!!! Poster speak your damn mind to him!!!
DeleteI hope u know if anything happens to ur dad tomorrow ur brother might try to claim the house?.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you agree at the early stage,,you caused it.
ReplyDeleteRectify it before it is too late.
Rectify it now that he's alive,hale and hearty to avoid stories in the future..
It is a bad behavior and mindset from where we come from. Kudos for telling your dad your mind instead of harboring hatred.
ReplyDeletePlease do not hate him. Only let God who sees in secret reward you for honoring your parents for he was the one that gave the
command that we should honor our father and mother, so that we may live long in the land. Ex. 20:12 Eph. 6:3. Your brother isn't going to be the beneficiary of this promise, you are and that is God for you.
He should have said my children and not to mentioned only your brother.
ReplyDeleteThat was house I gave my brother money to start a business only for him to tell me that he lied to our other siblings that the money was given to him by his father in-law 😳 I still can’t place my finger on his reason.
ReplyDeletePoster it is well oo
Hide your head, the village people will leave your matter and face your bro, you suppose dey happy
ReplyDeleteYour head dey there! My exact thoughts, when God is protecting you and you don’t know…. Hmm, see ehn when you have a project like this in a village, unnecessary warfare are waged against the person, let them think it is your brother that built the house!. Just make sure that you legally secured the house in your name and like someone suggested up there, have a voice recording of your father attesting to this.
DeleteIf you can build a house that cost over 14m for your father, I believe you can build one for yourself too and overlook this one. You gave to your family not to any stranger. Your dad is clearly not happy with the financial status of your brother and he's only trying to make him look otherwise in faces of outsiders, he's also not doing this behind your back because he asked for your permission. If it bothers you, just talk to your father and your brother about it.
ReplyDeleteBut if your brother is financially capable but chose not to then your father might just be telling the lies for his own sanity. Again, have a discussion with them if you can't overlook it.
Why didn't you build a house for yourself
ReplyDeleteGbam! Love your neighbor as yourself.
DeleteWhy do they place men over women in Africa, patriarchy
ReplyDeleteSo you are good enough to build but not good enough to receive the honour?
ReplyDeleteGOD please forbid bad thinking and actions
Culture can really fck ppl up mentally. Imagine because of toxic cultural practices and beliefs ppl do shit like this. Sad your brother has not stood up and say it is not true and point you out as the sole provider of the house. Sad your mother cannot refute the claims. Sad you agreed to the fckry. Now you feel like shit because you realize you have no value in the culture, that even your blood, sweat, and tears will go unrecognized and a man who contributed zero will get all the credit.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you plan to do so your daughters never have to experience this side of their culture? Cause even you were complicit in propogating these beliefs. Women in many cases participate whole scale in their own subjugation and help to pass on these belief systems to the next generations under the guise of 'culture' and 'this is our way'. Madam, you are part of the problem. Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. Start speaking the truth, start using your backbone and stand up for something. Stop participating in these practices and call them out. Use your life to give your daughters a better start.
May you be guided and protected.
Gbam Gbam Gbam. You’re so on point. Kisses to you. Poster if you like, continue to be a mumu and not speak up
DeleteToo bad. But if I may ask... Why are some of us advising her to correct the narrative so her brother won't inherit the house? Did she build the house for her father or herself? If you want to give, give cheerfully and wholly. What the person chooses to do with it is not your business. Poster, speak your mind to your father. I don't know what he said that made you agree in the first place. I just know that if you feel differently, you should speak up. Play your role as a daughter and leave the rest to God. These things always take care of themselves. If your brother wants to demo with something he didn't contribute to, sooner or later, the people giving him props will know the truth. Say your own and do what will give you peace. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteLike 100x...did you build the house to have it willed to you in the end or did you build it for your family to have a shelter?
DeleteWhat your dad is doing is bad. If you feel pained, you can stop everything you are doing in the house at the moment. Tell him to ask his son to continue from where you stopped because you cannot be building while another person is taking the glory. In another note, you should be grateful that they are shielding you from the wicked.
ReplyDeleteI was doing youth service when l started building for my parents. I served in a very lucrative place. In a section in charge of contracts and l found favour in my boss who asked me to register a company and l was given contracts. I was very young and told my father l don't want people to know l am the one building but my family was struggling financially before then. My siblings where all in school so we could not hide the source. I faced alot of diabolical attacks. So many spiritual and physical attack from my relatives and village men who felt insulted. How can a young girl be building while they don't even have a hut. They called me all sorts of names. Some even said they know the hotel l was working as ashawo. But sincerely that money never came from any man but the contract and tips from contractors in my office.
This life no balance.
The crux of the girl child..
ReplyDeleteWhy did you say yes to your father's decision I rhe first place when you know he is saying that cos you are a female child 🤔 😒 you better start telling people you built that house yourself and not your brother.
ReplyDeleteTell your father to tell his people the truth and nothing but the truth else you will stop sending him money. Your father tot is only male children that can be useful in life but God has proven to hom that no one can detect which child to do well.
@18:05, thank you very much for your comments.
ReplyDeleteIn my side of Nigeria, it is said that when you gift a person a goat, you must also let go of the rope by which you led the goat to the receiver.
A land or house gift to a father becomes family property during and after the death of the father unless the gift was specifically documented as given to last only during the life of the father. That is as an occupancy gift.
Poster, your father respects and value you and your gift hence he sought your permission to present the gift as from your brother. You should have asked him then his reason if you felt otherwise. He is carrying on because you gave consent. Don't be too angry with him. In his heart, he may actually see you as very understanding, and may also respect and appreciate you more than your brother but old school parents don't openly let children know who of them they respect/love more or most.
Let go of this matter. Don't hope to claim the house back on the death of your father especially if it is built on land bought or inherited by your father. If your brother is sensible to give you space there when you need it, glory to God. If not let go knowing you honoured your father in life than after.
If you still feel embittered, quietly discuss with your father to change the narrative to "my children under the leadership of my son [and daughter] are doing it or did it. Since you gave him permission to use your brother's name it will not be so easy for him to make a 360° change now. Consider in this matter that he sought your permission. There is or are reason(s) for that. It may be more than we think or believe.
Poster, let go and let God reward you. Consider this and your family harmony more important than asserting rights that may build resentment and enmity lasting longer than the building.
So long as all your siblings and your mother know you are the builder of the house, let God magnify His power in your family.
#TheIsokoMan
Madam, you built the house for your brother not father. Whenever your father is no more, pin you will not see from that house.
ReplyDeleteParents please build your kids self esteem at a young age to avoid this fckery. You agreed to this because??? Please tell us why you agreed to this. To see you as the good child? To please him to the detriment of your own happiness??? Your hard earned money, your sweat and blood. Just like that?? I just don’t understand. And for your dad to do this says a lot about how he values you. Value yourself more, work on your self esteem, self worth. at this age, stop looking for validation from your parents. Validate yourself and pat yourself on the back for building a house for your popsi. If you don’t like something, stand firm on your NO. You come first. This is just a sad chronicle. And yes please speak your mind to him. This doesn’t even sit well with me and no be me build the house o. Also do you have your own house??? If you don’t then you have serious self esteem issues and underlying issues that you need to address before people will even appreciate you. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteThis is so annoying. A whooping 14million to build a house and all the accolades went to your brother Who didn't contribute a pen? Because he is the one with a dangling testicle?? I don't blame your father at all shebi na you build him house .you should have built it for yourself and wait for his precious son to build his.
ReplyDelete