In an interview with Chude Jideonwo, Shaffy disclosed that at some point in her life she had to leave her kids and husband abroad to pursue her career in Nigeria.
She said it was a huge sacrifice that cost her her marriage as the long-distance affected the union and resulted in a divorce.
The actress, however, said she does not have any regrets sacrificing her kids and husband in America for her career in Nigeria.
She said, “I came back to Nigeria to spread my wings, I felt like I was pregnant and could not have a child just like my wings were sort of closed in and I was boxed in.
“I needed more, my soul needed more, I was yearning for more. I did not know the price that will come with it but I had to make the sacrifice. I paid the price of not having a connection with my children then. My daughter was 13, my son was 11 before I left them.
“But before that, at some point, I quit my job to raise my kids, I sacrificed a lot for them to be nurtured just to leave them in their early teenage years with their father.
“I knew I wanted this career, if I go back, it will be too much of a sacrifice, I wouldn’t be myself and at some point, I will resent my husband so I had to focus on what I wanted.”
Shaffy added that she divorced her husband five years ago and stayed back in Nigeria because he allowed her.
When asked how she handled side talks over her decision, she said
“I judged myself but I thank God he did it for me this way because it is better for me. I don’t care much about what people say about me but I care more about my children and close family,”
From Daily Post
*She get mind...Husband i understand but kids? WOW!!!
A lot of people in the entertainment are still making her mistakes and proud about it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is sacrifice. If you are not ready for sacrifice, just stay away and do not commit fornication in doing so.
There is nothing like a good family life, it won't be replaced by fame; never, never.
Speak for yourself. You want Family life, great. She wants a career, great too.
DeleteI bet that marriage was already having issues....she just kuku made this decision to get away from it all and put it in her craft.
DeleteThis is a topic for deeper minds. Not everyone has the depth to fathom it.
DeleteIt's well with you, Shaffy.
The honest truth is that when you are older, your children will leave you
DeleteI saw a video of an elderly woman on tiktok whose kids said she should stop her tiktok videos...she said she won't stop because that's what brings her happiness.
I checked further and realized she lost her husband in 2018. That woman is lonely.
I know it may seem selfish, but sometimes pick you, you can do the two too, I am sure her kids are safe and have great education.
kids will grow up,have their own families and still want to dictate what they think is right for you.
When will your own happiness matter.
I may not make shaffys choices but I can totally understand
Push up, thanks.
DeleteIt's okay to keep pouring love into love your kids but don't forget to leave some for yourself as well.
No, It is not selfish. While showing love to everyone do not leave yourself behind.
You matter too. Even as a wife, mother, friend etc, you matter. Your wants, desires, goals, they all matter.
When you age, fame will look after you?
ReplyDeleteLook at ailing Nollywood actors begging for money to get treatment.
Fame is transient. It is like giving up your peace to trend.
,👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteParenthood is deepepr than just breeding kids, don't even be surprised if some ailing actors have kids who are well to do and refused to render a helping hand because their parents where never there for them
Anno 12:54, please we should stop this mentality of having kids because we want them to take care of us later. Our kids should not be our retirement plan. While we are living our lives and hustling we should also learn to make plans for retirement.
DeleteAs for me, i don’t wish to be a burden on my kids when i’m old. It should come from them naturally.
PS: i’m not in support of her leaving her teen and preteen kid for her career, but since it has worked out for her, fine.
So I should put my life on hold because of my kids abi? She said she sacrifice her job to raise them, then she went after her own career after they've grown, she didnt leave then when they were still small o, or is it no here that women are advised to have their own life outside marriage?
DeleteOk. 12.21. Marriage, motherhood/parenthood is supposed to be a retirement plan? A welfare guarantee for old age?
DeleteSry i meant anno 12:21 not 12:54.
DeleteWhat women go through all in the name of marriage and raising kids!
ReplyDeleteShe's just determined to succeed at any cost.
Stella that is not all ooo. She also said that her kids visit Nigeria regularly. So she has a bond with her kids.
DeleteI wish her well
PURE SELFISHNESS IN MY OWN POINT OF VIEW . SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE ROPED HER HUSBAND INTO THAT UNION IN THE FIRST PLACE NOR BEING PREGNANT .ITS GOOD TO BE BOLD BUT THAT ACTION THERE IS ALL ABOUT HER SELF AND NOTHING MORE.
ReplyDeleteStory. But men leave their families here in Nigeria for abroad and the women wait. On a steady normal levels oo. I believe she wrote that she quit her job a a point to raise her kids and when they were old enough, she moved back home. Even people whose kids are in boarding primary schools here in Nigeria are talking
DeleteWhat I believe is this; the marriage already had cracks and issues and acting was her escape. The story of sacrificing her marriage was to water down whatever happened in the marriage. #myopinion. #untilherexspeaks
ReplyDeleteI believe so too
DeleteObviously.....
DeleteTrue@12:51.
DeleteLovelace
👌
DeleteThere's more to life than just having a career,I am saying this to you and myself.You felt you were pregnant and never thought about how that will affect your young children.I hope fame has filled the void absence of a good family life would have created in your heart.
ReplyDeleteI guess she was already tired of the marriage and her career was the escape route but the kids! She try o. I can't biko. We'll do all together ni o.
ReplyDeleteFor me, its either ALL works together and peacefully OR that pregnant career abort itself abeg. Nothing beats a happy united family. Nothing!!
DeleteI just hope marriage won't be an old school thing in the future.
ReplyDeleteFeels like a selfish decision. But,who am I to judge?
ReplyDeleteGood for her
ReplyDeleteNa the same kids she dey make the money for.
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends had to leave her kids behind in Nigeria to go work in Dubai. The youngest was 6 months at the time. When I tell her that her mind is strong, she tells me, if i don’t go and hustle, how will I take care of the same kids seeing that my husband doesn’t have a good job now.
She’s taking care of the kids welfare now, tries to speak to them everyday, it may not be the same but she says she prefers a strained relationship with her kids than to watch them lack.
I don’t blame her at all. It takes a good woman to take such step.
Your friend tried. I couldn't. A six months baby? I couldn't. The man should go and hustle instead.
DeleteThe man kept hustling oh and even applied for visa several times to go hustle elsewhere, he never got. Her first try she got it. I will not blame anyone that hustles for their kids. Male or female
Delete6months?! My Ovaries!!😭😭😭
DeleteRaising kids is not all about money. This is extreme and she is missing a lot. She won't know now but she is
DeleteNo wonder she speaks English so well. She is an Americana. I love her acting
ReplyDeleteShe acts so well
DeleteI really love her she speaks
DeleteGood for her
ReplyDeletePlease don’t forget she also mentioned she gave up her job to care for her children when they were younger. As mother’s we make different sacrifices for our children but at some point we have to do something for ourself. God help us find the balance as we navigate motherhood
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, most people ignore the part she left her job to take care of the home
DeleteThere is trouble in paradise already, this people should always give honest interview and stop this lies.
ReplyDeleteNa who no like goat meat wey dem use salt roast.....🙄🙄
(50) yeah, right!
ReplyDeleteMadam, please stop with the lies
You look young for your age but YOU ARE NOT 50’
Pleaseeeee
Like most people, my first thought was she's selfish but the older I grow, I have come to realise most people just go through the motions and do what is expected of them and not what they really want.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that got knocked up in her final year in a UK University, she wanted to abort and just went for the last check before the abortion, then the nurse told her "I'm not meant to tell you this but you are carrying twins" that's how she changed her mind. She told her family and they said she should marry the guy. They got married and started their journey, 3 years later, she woke up one morning, entered her car and was driving to commit suicide.
She had that clarity that she would collide with one pillar and die, she was almost there and a song came on the stereo and she changed her mind and went back home. She got home and opened up to her husband what almost happened and that she can't just stay married to him anymore. He never beat her, he never cheated on her, he helps with the twins and house but she said he was not driven and was complacent and that was enough to drive her to almost commiting suicide. When our friends and other people started saying at least he's a good man, he's not abusive, I was like just free her, for someone to feel so trapped to the extent of wanting to end her life, the next thing you will hear is she killed the children and the husband.
Somethings we trivialise mean life and death to others. Personally, my stance is when one decides to become a parent, that decision should supersede everything else because children are innocent and didn't ask to be born. We should normalise being single, even if you are not pressurised and you fall in love, ask yourself genuinely if you want to marry and have kids.
As selfish as Shaffy will seem, I commend her for taking the hard decision because she could have ruined those children's life if she stayed and felt she was staying because of them and she gave her ex the chance to remarry but abeg before you try this, be honest with yourself and decide if you want to make the commitment of marriage and take on the responsibilities and sacrifices entrenched in parenthood. Her absence would no doubt have affected her children but her presence could have done more harm.
Young people that haven't taken the plunge yet, don't allow the society, family and friends pressurise you to a family life you are not cut out for and always remember the biggest pressure comes from you.
Big or small stout for you?
DeleteI sometimes feel trapped in marriage, like I've sacrificed myself for my husband and kids to live their dreams and I've remained stagnant without purpose
DeleteSame here. I feel like I'm in a void. To study is hard because of household chores, and night issues if Nepa decides to take light.
DeleteMy hubby has encouraged me severally but I'm just living like as it comes every day.
I'm just tired of it all.
Well spoken
DeleteBar man please bring crate of whatever she’s having.
DeleteAbon 14:59, come take a hug!I hope the singles read it and Comprehend.
DeleteThere is so much wisdom in what you wrote 14:59 unfortunately it will go over the head of many.
DeleteThe race to answer a title is the goal of many, to fall to pressure and remain bound in marriages where people are smiling in public and gnashing teeth in private.
Anon 14:59
DeleteI know this friend of yours… Scotland.
Smelling talk
ReplyDeleteFor this America wey with both parents it is hard to raise a kid especially black teenagers. I understand wanting career but she should have waited for them to go off to college.
ReplyDelete