Ever heard of a wife or girlfriend submitting their salaries to their men?
Some men believe that the women in their lives must submit their salaries to them every month and they will take it and give them from it and keep the rest......
The girlfriends are not married if they are not 'humble' enough to do this and the wives may be forced to stop working if their men cannot gain access to their monies....
Hello?...... Don't act shocked!
How many men reading this now behave like this? How many women reading this give up their salaries to their men?
Let's gist!
Well......I am not in that school of thought mbok.
ReplyDeleteI don do am with two guys, but las las na beating and hard fucks apology them dey gv me. I borrowed myself sense relocate after getting a new and better job. Them call me for phone tire. Baby gyal is balling now
DeleteAll in d name of Marriage? The biggest scam .hissss
DeletePersonally never dated anyone of that opinion, and I'll never do that either.
DeleteAnon 15:53, it's not compulsory husband to know wife's exact income amt and vice versa.
DeleteYes,i have heard.
ReplyDeleteIs it biblical?? 🥴
DeleteReverse was our case when I met my husband and realised what a reckless spender he was. He earned well but had zero savings and completely lacked the culture. For some reasons, I earned his trust and he would transfer his salary to me monthly for proper handling. Of course I give him a transparent account of savings, investment and my contribution to it.
DeleteThis was even b4 we got married.
@anon 14:45,well i dunno if it's biblical but to me i feel it's a personal thing. Good afternoon
DeleteAnd if I remember correctly, there was a point my dad made this demand of my mum because he had a new friend at the time who did that to his wife. Unfortunately it met a blatant NO from my mum.
DeleteLol @ Ms Saphire 😃
DeleteSapphire pls how do you ladies able to get real men to trust you with their money? I said real men o, not the ones that will even want to leach on you. Me I desire true openness in my future husband.
Delete@anon 17:59, permit me to say it all depends on the man. Of course the prerequisite is that he would have seen how you manage your own money (or other resource) before assuming you can be entrusted with his. However asides this, the man has to be willing to make that move. If you force it as a woman, it ain’t happening. Many men who do this do so because they find it difficult managing their spending. It takes a man with strong character to take this option, most believe they are automatically the head in everything and should manage resources simply because they are the man.
DeleteSo my advice to you is take each day at a time, observing yourselves, and RESPONDING to what you can observe.
Have heard too but don't of any one that does such. My husband doesn't know how much I earn and doesn't seem interested. Whenever i buy something for the house or kids, he thanks and appreciates me for it and I have asked him why and he feels it's his sole responsibility to provide for the family. Very traditional but I try not to take advantage of that by supporting from time to time and respecting him.
DeleteAnon 12:30 why doesn't your husband know how much you earn if I may ask? Omo your own husband that you married with your two eyes open??? Some of you married women need to sit down with your spouses and talk. As in really talk because this is very strange. I don't understand how you can share your private parts but can't share something as trivial as how much you both earn. Marriage should be built on openness, trust and respect. If you can't trust your husband with such an info (and vice versa) then you both still have a lot of bonding to do.
DeleteAnd let me also add that there is no where that it is Written that it's a man's sole responsibility to provide. Anyone with the means and money should provide. So if my husband is jobless and I have a good job, I won't do anything because it's not my "responsibility"..you guys are a team, your money is his and his money is yours. This is how marriage should be o women and men! it is well.
I have heard of that but I don't do it.The highest I can do is to tell you that I have been paid for the month,shikina🚶
ReplyDeleteAnd wahalas? turkeyna.
DeleteThis is the highest level of pickmeisha idiocy.
DeleteWe do not "submit" income, we share our lives and all.😁😁😁😁😁
ReplyDeleteLet me share my experience and I have peace in over a dozen years of being married.
from the time he asked me to marry him, we both knew how much each is worth. I was worth 20 times more.
As soon as he paid bride price, we joined our accounts.
The mandate is "either to sign" and once it is more than 100 USD or 50k naria expenditure per day, we both get alerts.
We have an account dedicated to the kids and that's the family savings, no one goes there.
Every investment is in both our names.
So there is nothing like "submitting salaries"
We discussed all these during courtship and agreed to them and that is the "oneness" that Jesus talked about in the Scriptures
Mark 10:1-10, Gen. 1:26-27. We both live by God's Word; study it together with the kids, fast together, pray together.
Marriage can be blissful if we decide to apply God's Word to our daily lives. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
I'm happy for you but trust me these things happen. Someone nearly lost her life as a result of this .
Delete@Anonymous 14:11, this is lovely. This is the true definition of two become one. Your home is a model of what a true Christian home should be. May peace continue to reign in your home.
DeleteANG I love this.
DeleteMy husband knows how much I earn and I also know about every Kobo he earns. He tells me about his spendings including how much he wants to send to his parents, I also tell him about mine. We plan together too but we don't run a joint account.
If one marries a good man, there should be no secrecy in finances.
You are lucky dear and God will cont to bless your home.
DeleteThough you and Sapphire hardly agree,I think both of you are saying the same thing and have alot of similarities in marriage. You are overtly religious, she is overtly ...🤐.
DeleteI admire both of you sha.🤣🤣🤣
😘
Delete@Makason
DeleteThis is not "Luck"
It is
Phil. 2:12 "Working out ones salvation with fear and trembling"
Prov. 14:1 A wise woman build her home but with her hands, the foolish ones scatter it.
Marriage is God's Grace and involves hard work and not luck.
Things de occur o.😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteLol as in this dey unfold😃😃😃😃
DeleteThings*
DeleteI've heard a female preacher recently say that real submission is when a woman gives all her salary to her husband.
ReplyDeleteMake I chop my Sunday Jollof rice face front 😎
That's the kind of entitlement mentality I see around. Imagine a lady working ,strangers from no where mostly men feeling entitled to her money. The guts they have trying to control woman that's not their own.Then imagine how they treat their own. Mehn ,not in this Lagos.
Deletethose that have boyfriend or husband should come and answer the question, once dated a guy that said after marriage I will stop my work and relocate to his state, I told him am not interested in the marriage again, he told me a lady has no right to reject a man
ReplyDeleteYou dodge bullet
Deleteyou just excaped a bullet 😳😳😳😳 odiegwu
DeleteA lady has no right to right to reject a man?😆😆😆
DeleteYou dodged a bullet
God loves you so much, see how He made him confess to you before marrying you, some will pretend and waite till after marriage to unveil their madness and the kinds of legions residing in them to you. You're lucky.
Deletehe told me a lady has no right to reject a man
DeleteI just fainted because of the above
Imagine!!
DeleteYou're lucky
A lady has no right to reject a man? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 He must be very high.
Delete😂😂😂😂 this really cracked me up !!! Kai na wa , the boldness though I hope he has changed his ways . May he not enslave anyone's child.
DeleteNa God save you...i hope you did thanksgiving
DeleteAs much as i have heard it,i cannot and will NEVER submit my hard earned money to any husband.
ReplyDeleteWhat will i now submit to my parents that took the time and effort to train me in school and even prayed for me to get a job,(they didn't even ask me to submit my salary) belente a husband. 😂😂😂
I can support the family with what i have but saying i should submit, then I'm sorry, but i cannot.
I wont do such. Her salary is hers and she does whatever she like s with it.
ReplyDeleteIt is archaic and selfish for any man to do so. Only insecure men demand for their wife's salary. No woman should accept such from a man. If the man wants same from the wife, he too should also submit his salary to his wife.
Well said
Delete👍👍
DeleteI'm already angry reading this. Submit wetin? Did he get my degree for me? This is not humility, it's foolishness and slavery. It can't even happen to me.
ReplyDeleteYou anger na for you alone. When you angry finish you go calm down.
DeleteLike seriously???
ReplyDeleteI can't try it o
It's not even possible for me to do.
DeleteI have heard about it but i will never try it.
ReplyDeleteMy husband mentioned it to me,I firmly refused. The balls to even think it!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that he even thought of it is worrisome, talk more of even having the guts to mention it
DeleteYes, I have heard of a wife submitting her salary to her husband. She is dead now though.
ReplyDeleteOne day, during a conversation on marriage, I think, Henry told of us of their former neighbor. She was their neighbor years back. He said, once she gets her salary, she gets home, kneel in front of her husband and says (in Yoruba), “My Lord, this is my salary.” The husband takes the money and decides what amount to give the wife. Henry said, he has never seen a wife as submissive as that woman. Apart from “submitting”(his words) her salary to him, she doesn’t trouble him, you barely hear her voice but “lord”, will cheat on her and still beat her join.
It was during one of those beatings she died. “Lord” has moved on and married too.
🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
DeleteHe remarried? Someone that should be chilling in a jail?
DeleteGod forbids I remain with a violent man till he kills me
😲😲😲😲
Delete😂😂😂😂 Been reading funny and sad incidents happening in marriages and relationship since yesterday on this blog. She will kneel down and worship him first before submitting her salary to him? Chaii! Some women are really going through hell in marriages. And you wrote that she's late now? Who knows the cause of her death, poor woman.
DeleteShort girl eh...🙆♀️
DeleteI can't do that, and don't support that
ReplyDeleteMy money is my money and I take responsibility for each Kobo
Where were you when my papa was struggling to see me through sch
@Dimplez, he was in his father house and his father was struggling to see him through school.
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI'm shocked Stellicoco because I don't think it was done only in the olden days
ReplyDeleteI can not try it 🤨🤨🤨. I thank God for the husband 8 married
ReplyDeleteAccording to that most of those old school dad/parents did it.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a surprise to me, but for me I will not subscribe to it.
So future husband note this now..lol
Nah...I no fit do am, but I won't hide from you whenever I get paid. But when I perceive you don dey eye my salary, I got tell you say them dey owe me 2months salary...
ReplyDeleteNo way. My husband is reckless with money. Someone that is doing big boy without the money. Even common borrow me money he never pays back e come be submit. Suwah!!
ReplyDeleteI always believe in letting my hubby control money but my advise let the partner that can handle finances better, handle it, let's forget gender. I opened account for my son with hubby as the signatory as obedient wife, I will be busy depriving myself goodies while putting money in the account, hubby will withdraw the money and enjoy his life and still sleep on the same bed with me and not feel bad. I continued and was keeping note of the amount I have credited, one day I decided to check balance through someone's help out of curiosity, hmmm, na 1k plus as in minimum , from over 100k from my calculations. I called him on phone and asked him, he told me where do I think he was able to pay their school fees from, I asked him so I now pay the children's fees without my knowledge and I have been thanking you for paying it. I no talk long, I rushed to another bank and opened accounts for my children as the signatory, he has been suspecting, I no send. I am still a virtuous woman jor
ReplyDelete😂😂😂 @virtuous
DeleteYour head correct sha
Just imagine? so if there was no funds in the kids account school fees will not be paid? "I are still a virtuous woman jor." 🤣🤣🤣🤣good afternoon
DeleteImagine this type of man. Don't let him smell your money again o.
Delete🤣🤣😂🤣 you're a virtuous jor😂
DeleteGreat move woman! Your husband has no shame. He should have at least tell you before taking out the money, imagine if he didnt even contribute a single dime but using the ones you contributed.
DeleteNot in this century and economy. On top of your own sweat. What a Mindset?
ReplyDeleteMarried couples can share bills . Boyfriend should go and hustle before anything....
Rubbish, nonsense and ingredients 😊
ReplyDeleteMay I never come in contact with any backward ,local mentality and ancient days kinda of man.
ReplyDeleteEnter relationship with your head. Avoid nice talks and pretenders.
DeleteCan't be me. Never have, never will!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in submitting of salary but if your husband is a responsible man he should know what you earn and you also will know what he earns, you both will plan together. If he is a useless man, enemybof progress, dream killer, cheat, etc, then no, let everyone be on their own.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on this is: to everyone do what works for you. There is definitely no one method/pattern that works for everyone in a marriage. Happy Sunday and stay blessed.
ReplyDeleteI earn money, and send to my husband first, then we both decide in agreement how we spend it.
ReplyDeleteHe earns money, he sends to me first, without taking out a dime, then we both decide in agreement how to spend it. This includes budget for our individual personal expenses.
Caveat: We are both reasonable people with aligned goals and ambition. Our practical, not vocal Christian faith also influences mutual respect and trust. Abeh, no go do this kind thing with irresponsible man or woman oh, na premium tears, financial abuse and violence go end am.
I love your caveat, the Bible says a laborer is worthy of his wages, whether make or female so it’s not biblical. It’s true that two shall become one but a spouse is irresponsible, please hide your money very well, let sand not enter your eye.
Delete❤❤❤
DeleteI remembered during my service year
ReplyDeleteA babe was submitting her allawee to her guy.They were both serving but guy was in the state capital.After submitting #19,800 she will now beg him to please give her #5000.
She was looking so old and was always begging for whatever others cook.I have never seen this kind of mumu before.The day her eyes were open was when she visited guy unannounced and met him with another babe.She was beaten blue black and everyone in the lodge used that opportunity to talk sense into her.
Can't even tell my wife to submit her salary to me at this age and time, for what, her salary is hers and she is free to do what so ever she want to do with it.
ReplyDeleteSDK my mum did it. Baba was using the money to flex with other women. Our mums ehn! SMH
ReplyDeleteI will never try it.
Mercy 😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteDid we have the same mum?
Me I don't submit my money but my husband knows about my earnings and spendings most times. I also know his. This is because he is a good man o.
A woman in the past used to do this. When the husband became a billionaire he gave her the world she and her kids. He was loyal too not a cheat. I can’t try it with this wayward Nigerian men of today except he’s normal then I can. Love and sharing is sweet with the right person
ReplyDeleteI'm of the opinion that your spouse should of all assets and income (except in situations when either of the party is greedy). But that one of submitting your salary to your husband, NO.
ReplyDeleteWhich kind of backward mentality is this? Have I finished taking care of myself,and my parents that I’ll be submitting money to one boyfriend?even as a married woman seff e no even make sense,the man go use the money they flex babes,they flex himself,and u will just be working and submitting to him... a man that is very responsible and well to do has no business with his girlfriend or wife’s salary!
ReplyDeleteGod forbid bad thing. May God not let us fall into the hands of such a man that will demand that of us
ReplyDeleteI willingly submitted mine doing my service to my husband because he single handedly trained me in the university. Unfortunately am still believing God for job opportunity.
DeleteTor, when you get a job, you can continue from where you stopped.
DeleteEncouraging the lazy men to be more relax in there laziness. May God bless all the hardworking men
ReplyDeleteI have heard of such but I can't do it. I know my husband will not ask me to submit my salary to him
ReplyDeleteI didn't not submit but I disclosed my salary. Appreciation that I received was to push virtually all the bills to me. I envy how most couple run thier home jointly that was my wish but revised was the case.
ReplyDeleteAnd you accepted? He should be a man and be responsible!
DeleteMakason, take a hug! Now sit down and read this...
DeleteYou need to sock many away for a rainy day for the family. Henceforth, tell him you got a pay-cut (due to the nation's current economic situation, he'll believe this). Tell him about the bills you will no longer be handling & tell him to man up; all with plenty tears and drama.
The money you set aside, don't collect a chequebook or ATM card. Only use USSD in extreme cases. Let it be in your name & put a trusted person as next-of-kin.
When your kids are teenagers, let them know about these investments and put in their name then if your husband won't manipulate them.
Treat yourself to massages, weekend sleepovers at hotel where you can order room service and just chill alone.
He won't be able to see how else to tackle you & you'd be a happier person.
So what does he provide in your life?
DeleteJust to give sperm and you get to answer missis?
Na wa.
Well my husband and I share everything,I have access to his account,he has access to mine,we both have joint account as well,I don't see any big deal there as long as your husband is not a reckless spender,when he withdraws,I receive alert,when I withdraw too,he sees alert,once you are truly one,you won't hide anything from one another
ReplyDeleteThis is different
DeletePlease no. I have an aunt who did that and now she lives in penury. All her investments and pensions have been squandered on his "business ventures" that never took off. God forbid such nonsense in my life. My fiance doesn't even know the full extent of my income or investments. He only knows the surface stuff.
ReplyDeleteMy mother in law submits hers to her husband because na the man bring am out from marriage,marry am and sent her to Teachers Training college,from where she eventually got a job with the state government as a teacher. My father in law never ceases to remind her he made her who she was. When her co wife was married into the family,she taught that one to do same,but their settings were not the same. After sometime,her co wife stopped telling her hubby about her salary and small allowances she got from her job. Her co wife said she regrets listening to her on that. As for me, I never gave her son my salary and will never. I use it to run the home as much as I can help and just tell him in pàssing that I was paid. I didn't read my law for such naivety.
ReplyDeleteBrought her out from village**.
DeleteHe is entitled to her salary because he sent her to school?
DeleteThis is why I always tell women around me to train their daughters and sons before they marry. Don't expect a man or woman to train them for you after marriage. Let them learn a vocation if you cannot afford Western education.
I can imagine how miserable that woman would be in that marriage.
When it's not madness. A friend and colleague does this, as in she submits all and rhen when she coming to school, honey gives her only transport fare to and from school everyday no extra change to even buy galacos she conee with food too. I ask her why she say that's how it's supposed to be to show her love and submission to horseband man🤣 hmmm is ok oo wetin concern me na? Lemme not come n turn bad friend or adviser, but she's really hearing whinnnnn now. Is well with all the loyal wives and gfriends in Jesus Name!
ReplyDeleteIs that not what she deserves? What people do for love
DeleteHer eyes will clear one day and she will learn a hard lesson
Deletemy husband doesn't even ask how I spend my salary. I contribute to the the household though.
ReplyDeletewe have a joint account, we were both keeping money there for rent but I stopped cos the interest rate was too low.i started saving mine on piggyvest.imagine saving 200k for one year rent and getting less than #500 as interest.We share the running of the house as the spirit leads.if rice ,oil,gas,e.t.c finishes ,I can say i will be buy oil,you buy rice.
We also decide on amount we are giving collectively to our parents,friends,NGOs,church especially this December period.
May God not give us spouse that will take us to early grave.
What I would tell men is that they should work had and pray that God blesses the works of their hands cos there’s no marriage as sweet as one where the mans money is everyone’s money and the woman’s money is her money.
ReplyDeleteThat is how it is for me. I brought you into my life to be responsible for you. It is a plus if she contributes to the family upkeep but I cant shy away from my responsibility just because she works and earn money.
DeleteTrue😆😆
DeleteWill never be a party to surrendering my hard earned money completely to a man in the name of marriage or submission.
ReplyDeleteBetter ooh
DeleteThis life, just be with a partner that has sense.
ReplyDeleteIf not, you go hear word
DeleteNever!!,l can't try it.
ReplyDeleteThem never born that Man wey go collect my hard earned salary by force from me
ReplyDeleteBeing with that kind man in the first place is whose fault?
DeleteAnyway I think it's both gender, my mum told me about a woman who is in control of her husband's money, and the man looks unkept, one of the woman's friend wanted to do same to her own husband but the man refused, because of that the woman became violent towards the man, she eventually moved out with her children leaving the man with just the cloth he wore out that day. Some men and women are a true definition of destiny killers, they will collect all the cash with you leaving you cashless, while they turn over night big boys in town. I can only assist with what I can but will never please a man with my money, the love of Christ and my parents is enough for me. If you dare show a man that you are independent omo they will dump all their responsibility on you ni.
ReplyDeleteOnly irresponsible and insecure men do that
DeleteMine brought me to the USA and enrolled me in nursing school. Immediately after i became an RN he asked me /commanded me to give them our joint account number which he only has access to. I couldnt even send money to my parents n siblings talk more of buying ordinary panties for myself. I had to redirect my salary to my personal account and told him a lie that i got into trouble and had to give up 2months salary to dead the case. I got a loan from my naija colleagues paid him my airfare to tje USA, school fees, TFare etc in bulk. Called the cops on him to enable me pack my stuff and my daughters and fled to another state in peace.He used my sweat to build and buy houses all over onitsha and my parents still had holes in their roof. I have been able to do so much more for my family since i left his ogre ass. Heard he remarried another mgbeke naija nurse and that one showed him fire!
ReplyDeleteGreat move.
DeleteYou even paid him for all that?
DeleteNawah for you o. What about all the salaries he syphoned? The emotional trauma?
I would not pay him a dime if I were you. Thank God you are free now, that is the most important thing.
This is a no no if you have a reckless spender as a husband.
ReplyDeleteThe virtuous woman in the bible never did this. The fact that I am a woman doesn't mean that I am senseless or cannot run a profitable business.
Any man that insist on this is not man enough.
I don't think I can do this!!
Tell them oh...the virtuous woman was a merchant (shrewd in business, not foolish), if you are an Abigail married to a Nabal, you had better have something saved aside so that when a David is coming to destroy, you will have gifts to pacify him.
DeleteJust imagine. Which kind love be this? Some women need to wake up. A responsible man will give his wife all the financial freedom she needs. Which one be submit salary to your husband?
ReplyDeleteEven if he trained me in school,I will not submit my salary cos I worked for it.
ReplyDeleteThis “submit salary” caused problem between my parents when we were younger. My mum refused to submit any dime. Na elders settle the matter las las
ReplyDeleteMy mom shared that she used to give our father her salary but stopped when he noticed that if we offend our father he may decide not to pay our school fees even when my mom try to talk to him. So sometimes she has to look for money to pay & afterwards she stopped giving him
ReplyDeleteThis is slavery and I will never. But I can support the home 100%.
ReplyDeleteBroken people looking for who to worship their empty selves and shore up their fragile and worthless ego
ReplyDeleteNo self respect
No dignity
No provider mentality
From stories above, women still do this in this day and age, I'm flabbergasted!
ReplyDeleteGod will not allow my daughters or grandaughters to meet that kind of man. Amen
Me too ooo...AMEN
DeleteAs framed, this gist will get majority of the responses it got.
ReplyDeleteBut if considered from the aspects of purpose of the handing over of the money and the capacity and quality of the man, the answers/comments may be different.
Some women are spendthrifts or over-sentimental with money. If such a woman gives her boyfriend/husband her salary for keeps and management, is there any thing wrong? Especially if the man has proven integrity plus his own money as much as the woman or even more that makes the woman's money "chicken feed" when both are compared?
The concept of his money, our money; my money, mine only is why some men believe they own their wives and some others believe the wives have no say in their finances or lives. It is the peaceable or religious ones who just carry their wives along for peace sake in obedience of religious tenets.
But as a BVs said above what works for a couple is best for them. Whether full, partial or no submission of earnings.
Reading comments here highlight the need for a man/woman to really look for a quality person (by individual standards) as spouse.
From the man's perspective, the question may be asked: What is the gain {apart from false societal marks) in marrying. If a wife cannot give what she has to her husband. If the Husband has to give all he has to the wife and children. So many chants by women of good things they cannot or will not do in their marriages or when they get married. When stripped of the "cannots" what is left in the marriage for the couples. If the wife has no intrinsic quality as a person, would she be able to keep the marriage? Is this why many marriages are challenged today? Is this why there are nowincreasing net videos of women advising men to look after and look out for themselves in marriages?
So many things need to be considered before venturing into marriage.
DeleteSomeone I know is giving her salary/cloth allowance to her husband and the man can't even buy a carton of bobo juice for the kids till today, pampers nko, he gives her money to be buying pieces not even a pack. He buys anyhow cheap clothes/shoes/bags for her. Well, she has started receiving sense small-small, just recently they bought camp gas, all these years she's been using stove -an asthmatic woman. Now, she told their accountant to be keeping her other allowances for her n not send it to her acct. The guy uses her acct/ATM for business. May God help us with our mentality.
ReplyDeleteWife submit to your hubby but MEN have refused to read further that they should LOVE their wife...
I don't give my salary to my husband but I tell him when they pay us. I contribute as a wife which he's proud of, we have kids acct, he allowed me to run it. Before he lost his job he gives me money for upkeeps and I have been supporting the family, hopefully God will answer us. Amen.
ReplyDeleteHaving a man that values/trust/understand you makes marriage sweet.
MA