Hmmmm
FAKE BEST FRIEND OR WHAT?
I have a very very close friend, we have been friends for years, this girl spends most of her time in my house and I do same in her house. i tell her a lot about myself but apparently she kept a lot from me which I’m just realizing.
I have a very very close friend, we have been friends for years, this girl spends most of her time in my house and I do same in her house. i tell her a lot about myself but apparently she kept a lot from me which I’m just realizing.
As at last year she was dating a guy that stays abroad, she and the guy were always having issues, then she said the guy was coming to naija for the new year, and she was going to see him in Abuja, so she left and we didn’t see for like the whole of that January.
I was very worried about her, I kept calling and calling and she never picked cos I was scared that the guy she went with we didn’t really know him, so I was worried about her safety. then one day she called me and told me she was fine that she was working on somethings with the guy and she will call me after the whole process. i said ok.
One day out of the blues she called me on video call and I picked and the next thing she did was to show me the rear view of the camera, she was no longer in naija, she had left with the guy.
Well I wasn’t too disappointed cos I know when most people want to travel they don’t tell even their relatives most times so I just congratulated her and waved it aside, I was genuinely happy for her cos me and her have been praying to japa from this country, then from then on we used to speak regularly, she will call me only on video calls and we talk, I only call once in a while cos I know she was schooling there and I didn’t need to disturb her.
Fast forward ...... a mutual friend of ours came to buy clothes from me and told me my friend was about to get married and they canceled the wedding cos of the loss of a relation, I was angry that I heard it from that girl Instead of my close friend cos it was tru my friend abroad I met this one.
Fast forward ...... a mutual friend of ours came to buy clothes from me and told me my friend was about to get married and they canceled the wedding cos of the loss of a relation, I was angry that I heard it from that girl Instead of my close friend cos it was tru my friend abroad I met this one.
Fast forward my friend stopped calling me totally and I was worried again, I called and called she didn’t pick up until she called me one day and said it was school stress so I understood with her, in all of this I was genuinely worried wherever I don’t hear from her .
So one day I dreamt this girl was pregnant, and I called her on video she didn’t pick. i called her normal call she didn’t pick again.so I left her, then last week she called me that was when she told me about the wedding date that was cancelled and I felt bad for her, I cheered her up and told her next year they will do it, then I jokingly said this one that you don’t call me on video again, is everything ok, lemme see your face and she lied to me that she was with her husbands relatives and she doesn’t want to intrude their privacy I said ok, we chatted normally and we hung up,
BVS will you believe that I was scrolling past my WhatsApp story and I saw on that our mutual friends status that my friend had delivered a baby girl and she and her husband even did photo shoot with the baby, and my so called best friend kept it away from me, the baby’s picture was on her status, their pre baby photoshoot with her husband and the after birth shoot too all pictures were on the other girls WhatsApp story.
I had mixed feelings cos I’m not a bad person, I’m not a gossip, I don’t even have much friends, I have just 4 or 5 people I call my friends, I’m not a fetish person why will this girl be keeping her good news away from me, is it because I am single?? I’m not in a relationship?? Or she feels I will be jealous of her or what???
I cried cos I felt bad, I didn’t congratulate her cos she didn’t say a word about it to me. when she noticed that I must have seen it on that girls status she now called me on WhatsApp once and I didn’t pick up. I have not said a word about it to her till now, and God sees my heart I’m very happy about this news for her cos she went thru a lot in Nigeria and I was by her side all the way, when she was in school I used to send her money most times when she is broke, I send her money me that I’m not even working na my small business I Dey take help myself, I give her my clothes, my stuff so I’m thinking if you can collect my personal effects and wear them too will you now be so scared of me to share your blessings with me?
I just wanted to know if i am overthinking or over reacting?
* What a horrible friend she is....Or rather she too took you as friend but rather used you... I dont know why she treated you this way but please leave her alone and move on....If you are as good as you say, good friends will come your way.
* What a horrible friend she is....Or rather she too took you as friend but rather used you... I dont know why she treated you this way but please leave her alone and move on....If you are as good as you say, good friends will come your way.
Dont call her anymore and if she calls you, pick and be cordial in talking, dont reveal anything about yourself and dont do as if you know anything, if she tells you congratulate her nicely and face front
Follow Stella's advice
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, you are not over reacting. I have been there but let me tell you something that might help you forgive her; what if someone said bad things about you to her? What if her mother/pastor/someone she listens to warned her against you without your knowing. There are many what it's.
DeleteMy suggestion: call her and talk with her genuinely expressing how you truly feel. Tell her with the exact words you used to narrate this chronicle up there, telling her it breaks your heart that she hid God's answer to your mutual prayer and excluded you from the celebrations. Bless her, wish her well and give her opportunity to at least explain or make peace. If she offers appology, please accept, it will help you genuinely keep a clean bitter-free heart towards her. DONT BURN THE BRIDGE! DONT SHUT HER OUT!! DONT RETALIATE BY GHOSTING HER!!!
Accept her explanation, move on and respect yourself. Call her once in a while or send her goodwill messages when you can and understand that we are all not the same. Many are products of their experiences.
I love your advice Ms. Sapphire.. God bless you with more wisdom
Delete@saphire I love your advice. Tell her how you feel, but forgive her and keep her as a friend but not as best anything. Women stay forgiving men who cheat, lie, abuse and beat them over and again but never forgive friends too for their oversight or lack of wisdom. She didn't directly do anything to you, she just withheld information.. very hurtful but still pardonable. Just withhold info too and manage your communication. Don't cut friends like that, you need a network in life.
DeleteStella's advice is bae. Poster,leave that your friend and face front. You were the only one doing bestie. She was never your friend.
DeleteThat's how a friend that we were both TTC together ghosted me when she finally got pregnant. This is someone that I would encourage when she was about to give up,give information about doctors,treatment,drugs etc. Only for her to get pregnant and ain't tell me. When I finally found out cos pregnancy no dey hide,I asked her which doctor/hospital she went to and my friend said she couldn't remember the hospital or doctor. Pregnancy of about 4/5 months and you can't remember the hospital or doctor that treated you to conceive? She delivered and don't tell me either. But no problem..me I have moved on and am facing my front. I know God will do mine fore in due season.
Don't sweat it. Stella's advice is all you need. Life is not a competition. Cut her off. When you see her greet her. If she tells you congratulate her and keep it moving. Not everybody can be like you.
DeleteWhile in school, my supposed best friend got pregnant and was planning a whe wedding she didn't say anything to me. She just went MIA and returned with wedding rings. My other classmates made fun of me. I take am rub body. Fast forward few years after school, she started having problems with her husband and he was really threatening to murd. She called that she wanted to come stay with me in Abuja. Hahhahahha. I just told her 'if you have business call me, if you have problem call God.
Delete@anon 18:14, but was the person really your friend or just TTC friend? I notice Nigerians use the term friend loosely. Let me give examples. Sometimes people are friends for a common goal and usually humans will move on once their own goal is realized. Coming abroad I joined so many online/facebook/reddit groups, one for medical exams, license exams, another for green card applications. We share stories, exam questions, wait times, encourage one another. But once people finish or pass their exams, they leave the group. Once they get their green card, they announce to all and exit the group. No more communication - some will even delete the app and move on. These are people that were commenting 20 times a day. Of course others will feel left behind. and even a sense of unfairness cos some come in late and leave early (they get theirs quick). But all I'm saying is I know these are not my real friends, we all just have a common interest.
DeleteThough its unfair for your friend not to share her "recipe" or doctor regardless but then its her decision you cant force her to - May God grant you yours. I think hiding info is just embedded in Nigerian culture.
I get what you mean and while I would not go so far as to say this person was a best friend,we were friends (or so I thought). We work in the same organisation and see each other practically everyday. I was more experienced in the TTC journey cos I had been through a lot already when we met while she was more or less a novice. I shared so much information,experience with her and tried to encourage her as much as I can cos she was always depressed about her situation. Just the one time she could have been reciprocated with reasonable information for me,she withheld it.
DeleteBut it's okay. Me I don't take things to heart and realise that human beings will and can be funny at times. At least,now I know who she is. So it's to keep it moving.
She was ur best friend, u were not her best friend. Follow Stella’s advice and waka. Kpele. I know how u feel
DeleteMs. Sapphire, I support your advice
DeleteYou do not need such friend,cut her off. Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteSame thing I will do, cut her off! No time for nonsense.
DeletePoster move on from her instantly, in fact if she calls you, tell her you're busy and will reach her later then hang up. Face your front, friendship is not by force.
Once I notice someone I take as a friend is not giving me the same energy, I move, I don't have strength for one sided friendship.
I have read this before, shey no be malaria dey worry me like this so...any Poster ,just face your front.
ReplyDeleteShe wrote it inside SP,it's good SDK brought it here.no be malaria,you dey alright.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Delete🤣
DeleteNo be malaria.. Hahaha
DeleteIf she calls you, casual answer then move on, you can't please everyone. Don't waste your credit to even call her.
Cut her off as well and face your life.
ReplyDeleteTreat her same way. No more calls.
ReplyDeleteNa wa for you. The handwriting was on the wall but you chose to ignore.
ReplyDeleteYou should have known and given her space the moment she didn't call you nor pick your calls when she travelled to see her "husband" in Abuja.
Know your place in peoples life and always act accordingly..
ReplyDeleteIf anyone takes you like a pinch of salt;dont overstress to carry them like a bag of Beans..
You call her your friend,the question is does she sees you as one?
@MARTINS
Clearly nope.🤷🤷🤷
DeleteWisdom is profitable to direct, word of wisdom from our own Martins, will never stress myself over any friend, my best friends are my mum and son's finish. I nor de for hbp kind of friendship biko.
DeleteHmmn...
DeleteTrue..that's a valid Question,...does she see you as a friend?
DeleteExactly, na so one of my so called friends lied to me she was going to school, but she actually moved abroad to be with her husband (she had a low key bride price payment a few weeks before travelling, kept that one secret too of course).
DeleteI didn't even stress it, I moved on from that moment. I just take it that you don't see me in the same light I see you. I don't like confrontations, I'm more of 'pick unspoken cues and act on it'.
Well I dare to see this from a possible other perspective. Your friend did not force or coerce you to give out the intimate information you gave to her.
ReplyDeleteIf she is hiding somethings from you, probably she does not trust you to keep them secret. So, if you detect those kinds of friends too, keep your intimate things,
secret.
And let me also add that having interacted with lots of Nigerians home and abroad, particularly USA, they regard being in the US like being in heaven.
Once one person goes there, she expects her friend to being her and her family there. Your friend may be dodging the fulfilment of this weird expectations
and mindset.
If you are grieved, simply call her, write her or use any other channel of communication and tell her how she has wronged you. And please rise above every
prejudices you may have against her for your own safety and health.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Poster, TAKE THIS ADVICE 💯💯.
DeleteMany ladies hide pregnancies because they do not trust anybody not to be a "baby eating witch"
ReplyDeleteIt is all vanities.
You guys were never friends.Okay let me say she was not your friend. She might have been giving you some signs you've ignored when you were together,i guess the pureness of your heart and openness didn't allow you decode her.Don't feel bad anymore,instead pray to God to grant all your wishes to come to pass and always have a positive mind.Even if you still talk,desist from telling her stuffs about yourself here especially the not so good things,i.e finances,marital issues etc.Be your own friend and work hard.Ego be las las.Be happy joor.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious the feeling is not mutual.
ReplyDeleteWow!! Poster like stella said, that lady used you, but its okay, GOD will surely bless you for all the good things you did for her, you are a good person and good things will continue to follow you, she don't want to involve you in her business na by force? you dont force friendship now, so my dear just face front, and let her be.
ReplyDeleteSee poster, this life is not like Nollyhood movies, for the fact that you're a good person doesn't mean you will have good people as friends, you might be lucky to have good people around you sha, but don't ever expect because you're a good person, everyone that will come your way will equally be a good person.
ReplyDeleteNow, when next she calls, pick her call and relate with her according to how she relates with you. If she shares her baby's news with you, congratulate her and move on. If I were you, I will mute her on my status so that I won't mistakenly view her status again, don't ever call or chat her again, unless she does. Keep her at arms length.
Learn to be your own best friend, I have few friends but none can I call my best friend, you can never know about what's going on in my life and I won't bother to ask about your life too. Just normal checking up on friends, I have no secrets with any friend, so stay on your lane and always put people as human beings that can fuck up at anytime.
I don't expect much from anyone, so any characters they show me, it can never caught me unaware.
*Larry was here*
Thought I read this on sp
ReplyDeleteYes, it was on SP some days ago.
DeleteMy friend face ya from front. Is it till she call you and insult you. Face front.
ReplyDeleteSame thing happened with someone i called friend too. Me that is a one man mopo. I was on my own until she came into my life. We practically did almost everything together. She can not do anything without consulting me first. All the plans she was making in travelling to Germany we were in it together until this my friend travelled without telling me. Infact i was shocked to my bone marrow as i couldn't figure out what my crime was. We were together that very day till she left for her house. Never knew that was the last i would set my eyes on her. The following day i didnt see her breaklight was when a boy that used to run errands for her, told me that she had already left for Germany . Was i angry ... NOp ! But the shock, shock me. Lolll. Well after many years she finally called knowing what she did, without even asking her, she apologized . Me i just wave it aside, talking with her normal normal. I cant be a fool again. Since then i learn my lesson and keep so called friends at arms length. Myself belle full me.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you wave it aside when you said you were shocked. She was wrong on all levels. Nigerians and not expressing their minds sha. So annoying
DeleteWhen people show you who they are just believe them, take them just the way they have presented themselves to you. Never you think a person can change from their attitude.
ReplyDeleteÝou have played your part as a good friend but she doesn't value your friendship just lock up and keep on moving. If I am in your shoes I will silently block her from my social media, keep moving cos I know my turn will come soonest.
She probably feels she is doing better than u and u might not be happy for her.Some friends are users when they find out things have changed for them they abandon u,forgetting all the help u have rendered to them in the past.
ReplyDeleteDon’t worry,move on the God that did hers will do yours,just don’t harbor this in mind against her and God will suprise you.
My dear that lady was your best friend but YOU WERE NOT HER BEST FRIEND!!!
ReplyDeleteMove on ojare because nothing good will come from this relationship ok?
I once had a friend back in the days in school, infact she was like a sister to me. She has visited my home and I have visited and spent the night with her family.
Very intelligent but morbidly jealous. Dreamt thrice that she weeded and I wasn't invited, I asked her, she denied. Only to we'd the same month.
I come dey wonder if I be winch.
This is someone I shared my pocket money with, someone I bought ok skirt for when I noticed that the black skirt she liked or always put on is torn and stitched with a white thread.
I really took her like my sister.
I even encouraged her to Japan to where her sister was because it will pay off. After she told me that she was married I wished her and her husband well. Took out my sim, got a new sim and continued my life abeg. No time for rubbish. She tried to reach me but I IGNORED HER AND MADE SURE I DISCONNECTED FROM ANYONE THAT WILL GIVE HER MY CONTACT. Enjoy your success without making me feel like a witch abeg. After that I NEVER MADE ANY BEST FRIEND AGAIN. So please take a walk of Fame from this friend of yours and don't look back ok?
You changed your SIM because of her? Disconnected with other human beings because of her? And you never gave another person a chance to impress you enough to be a best friend? Haaa...she really has a whole lot of power over you. I said HAS (present tense).
DeleteMs Saphire, maybe you should wait until you walk some miles in her shoes before speaking for her. Until then, speak for yourself.
Delete16.21 them never born that ex friend that will make me change my SIM. Why oyibo put blocking features on smartphones again?
DeleteIt's either you are a criminal and hiding from more than you have disclosed here or you don't have important contacts/business associates that reach you through that line.
Ano 16.21 change your ways. There is more you are running from than just betrayal.
I did it with a so called best friend. Nothing like having peace of mind!!!
ReplyDeleteIf possible delete her number & don’t pick or reply her messages…U can let her know what she did is bad, just before u block her; so she won’t go around saying u are jealous…
ReplyDeleteI have had bad experiences, that I am anxious around people except my family….just focus on God & ur business…
ReplyDeleteEven family can shock you
DeleteIf you know what I discovered some years after the deeds were done, however the calmness I take receive the information na divine
Forget human beings
Hold GOD
Don't assume, let them show you who they are and walk accordingly
Family means nothing if conscience and heart no dey
Like i said before, just let it go.
ReplyDeleteDon't just change your attitude, it won't help you. People like you cannot do a 180 degree on people you care about.
ReplyDeleteIf I was you, I will take my time to pour out my heart in a message to her(no insults included), and end the message by informing her I will stay clear from her from that point on. Let her know how much she hurts you. If she apologize after reading your message, accept the apology and move on. If she ignores your message, still move on.
Don't settle for nonsense all in the name of friendship.
Absolutely
DeletePls move on with your life. Friendship is not a do or die affairs. If u confront your friend about the birth of her new born child. U will be seen as a bitter soul. I believe in one man MOPO if not dat I will need a best lady on my wedding day don't think I like to make friends with females. Make Jesus ur friend rather having ZAZU SNEH friends.
ReplyDeleteTheres no true friendship anymore.. a lot of people are in it for what they will get..if you notice any small foul play from a so called friend, just cut them off completely before they throw u off balance and give you the shocker of your life.
ReplyDeletePoster, trust me that your friend has been low-key jealous of you.... She never liked you from the get go, and the reason she calls most times it's because she wants to know wotsup you!!!
ReplyDeleteI had a horrible experience with 2girls in the past, those girls showed me hell! I was just managing them acting like a fool while processing my papers to leave Naija.
The day before I left, I was with them eating and I never made mention of that at all!!!
Immediately I got to Canada, I blocked them everywhere for my own Sanity jare.
It's been 12yrs, and they are still trying to reach me to know if I am okay
Useless bitches!!! As if they ever cared about me
This is Ang's comment personified.
Delete17.14 people trying to find out if you are ok are bitches? Hian!
For your mind Canada na heaven bah? Shame on you! I pity anyone who calls you a friend. You are worse than this posters friend. I pray you continue to meet friends that are like you.
DeleteSaphire, ang said she's an American citizen. I doubt if she needs to process papers to japa
DeleteANG will never use the word bitches never.
DeletePoster, some so-called friends are like that. My sister told me something recently, she said the only reason you're sad when your friends don't share things with you is because you share too much with them and expected it will be reciprocated. You are sad when it's not.
ReplyDeleteShe is your best friend but you are not hers. There's a difference and it's okay. Don't call her to complain about what she did. You'll be gaslighted and tagged jealous. When next she calls, pick, communicate with her on a neutral level. If she tells you about her new baby congratulate her, if she doesn't, and you want to let her know you're aware, then do and congratulate her.
It's painful but you'll get over it soon and the lessons will help in your relationship with others.
My dear I have worn the shoes and was indeed gas lighted and tagged jealous.
DeleteThere’s no way in hell I’ll communicate with her on a neutral level after she’s hurt me that much. I must express my mind ni and move on after then.
DeletePlease delete her on all platforms. She was never your friend but you deemed her as your friend. Let her live her life because she thinks she has arrived.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord aurround you with the right people that will value your friendship and appreciate you for who you are.
Poster let her know you were hurt by her actions and henceforth regard her as a friend, but not best friend. Honestly people go thru a lot abroad.. papers, loneliness, starting over, different academic system, accent and race challenges, tough work expectations, demand from family and fear of uncertainty. Never think any of us abroad have it easy, especially first generation immigrants, no we dont. As some have said sometimes they have advice to cut off or avoid friends and so on. It shouldn't be so but some people have been hurt and even killed by giving out so much information to even friends, so most people become wary once abroad. I have a friend that always complained of her friends abroad when she was in Nigeria, understandably so cos she felt left behind. Today she is abroad and some friends back home are complaining about her as well. But she is not even thinking about them, she is thinking of how to get her papers. I don't know your friend's situation but maybe pray for her and let it go.
ReplyDeleteOur assumed besties have their own besties.. Be guided..
ReplyDeleteEven your Boo get a Boo situation.
DeleteAyaya
DeleteI’m sure she’s seen warning signs but her own low self esteem won’t allow her reason properly
DeleteYeah. Some friends are like that. I have one like that. We used to have very long chats at night on MTN because it was cheaper. This went on for months. She never once told me she was pregnant until I bumped into her in church and saw her bulge. I have never been malicious to her and I wondered why she would keep such good new from me. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I let it slide, congratulated her and all. Then it happened again the second time. This time I went to her house and saw she was preg. Mehn, I faced my front since then. She must not have good thoughts for me and I did not stick around to know why.
ReplyDeleteEehhhmmm...excuse me, is she supposed to be announcing her pregnancy to you? I just dey ask ooo because I may not know your relationship.
DeleteNor vex. I don't think she hates you. Most Nigerian pregnant women will rather be seen pregnant than to open their mouth and announce it.
DeleteIt's clear the affection wasn't mutual. It's one of the most painful feeling loving someone who doesn't equally love you that much or at least make effort to.
ReplyDeleteShe seems to only still be giving you this once in a while update cos she feels she owes you that seeing how she knows you care for and have tried for her.
The truth is just that no matter how good you are,love cannot really be forced. Some people won't just reciprocate on equal depth. Just relate with her on the frequency she does with you (but deal away with resentment towards her) and hope to meet another friend who would love you on that same frequency... funny enough,there might be one already which u're not equally seeing on that same depth
Allmy friends must really be angry with me then cause I don't understand how I will pick my phone and be giving update about pregnancy. Like "hello zainab I'm pregnant o!
ReplyDeleteMen do this too.
ReplyDeleteOne excuse people give for this behaviour is that they do not want to make their friends feel bad that things are not going well for them as much as it is going for the hiding friend.
The reason people do it, is that some parents taught their children from outset not to announce incoming success. The parents usually tell their children that they should not trust friends too much because the heart of friends can be deceptive. And to be truthful, some friends have really cut short the expectations of their friends out of jealousy.
Poster, here is my advice (I experienced it too):
1. Do not be bitter.
2. Do not cut off your friend (yes she is still your friend).
3. Relate with her and call her as is okay for or with you.
4. If you see her updates on SM, do not call her because of that
5. If she calls to tell you about any development in her life, genuinely celebrate or flow with her on the call. DO NOT use such calls to also announce celebratory events in your life.
6. In all your relating with her, DO NOT beg her for money. If you need to do anything in the abroad she should be the LAST person to ask for help. If you do ask for her help, make sure you PREPAY in full all your and her expenses. She may insist on doing it free or for lesser than due. But stand your ground.
7. If she sends anything to you on her own will, accept. Give it out if you dont want it.
Life is to sweet to waste on grudges. Focus on moving your life forward, not in competition, but in being the best in your circumstances.
Best wishes.
You are blessed with wisdom, great advice!
DeleteAnon 19:12, my prayer for you from Today henceforth, is that you meet friends like my two former friends all the rest of your life!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo that next time, you would mind your fucking business and not talk shit about what you know nothing about..
Idiot, I am very sure you are like them that's why you are pained I ghosted them!!!!! Of course, Canada is not heaven and as am writing this one of them is based in UK and they are both doing very well for themselves...
But you see, those girls are a part of me,I put in dark wardrobe, never to open again........
Please, don't let me remember what I left behind ohhhhhh, because this your comment is making me boil. Besides, you think if I was a bad person they would be trying to know why I did what I did?? Or if I am okay after such a long time??? Trust me, I had a horrible ordeal with those people..
And for real you would experience worst than I did, so that you would know bad people exist, that's if you are not one of them....
Ah...They were terrible indeed and you hung out with them till the day you left. You better take a close look at yourself. We are here giving you advice to change your criminal ways and you are boiling.
DeleteMay I continue to have friends like me. May you continue to meet friends that are like you. Amen.
Omo! The way you're abusing somebody shows you're equally as bad as those your friends.
DeleteBesides,if they were as bad as you're trying to paint them, why didn't you cut them off long before you traveled? Oh, I know, you probably needed them to perfect your japa plans.
You ghosted them but turned monitoring spirit.
DeleteMust be nice 🙄
They were bad friends, yet you were wacking free food from them before you ported.
DeleteAt least they did something good for you na, for you to have stuck with them b4 you travelled.
Nah, she won't experience worse cos she's not dense. Abi dem tie your waist to them wey you nor fit cut them off, instead of enduring their BS?
DeleteYou said she was your friend.
ReplyDeleteBut were YOU her friend?
Obviously not.
Learn not to confuse the two.
For somepeople, you are only occupying space in their life.
Learn not to confuse the two.
Dear poster, I find it difficult to believe that you are such a sweet person and then your friend is treating you this way!!
ReplyDeleteIt's either she doesn't really like you, or you did something bad to her which you aren't aware of which is why she is keeping you at arm's length
Option 1, if you are still interested in the friendship talk things over with her, Or you forget about her
I believe there are people she considers friends, that she trusts very well to relate those information with
Another angle could be, maybe she feels you have big mouth or badluck( some people can be funny) My Aunty who I was staying with was always hiding things from me and when I confronted her, she told me I have bad spirit because whatever she tells doesn't work for her.
This lady is like a mother to me ohhhh, well I just jejely left her house
You can't teach other people how to behave,we are all different people,I have experienced lots of bad friends in different forms,but guess what I still roll with them when they come back to me,I let it slide but I set boundaries and be Your attitude towards her would be different definitely and she would notice so please let her know the reason for it.
ReplyDelete*****************************************
Now let me tell just one of all the bad experiences similar to this that I've had with people I call my bosom friends,She reads this blog,she may read this,My friend was single and searching and always in a sad mood crying,lamenting about her life,I decided to introduce her to my husband's friend,I basically like told the guy I wanted him to be serious not just fling,and I would always talk to him behind my friend's back to behave himself and not put me to shame,the guy listens to me despite that my husband was against me introducing them,I couldn't be bothered,lo and behold,my friend got pregnant that same month they met,she called me crying to tell me the result of her pregnancy test,I was the one that called my husband's friend,sat him down,begged him that my friend is pregnant and he should please marry her,the guy refused at first that how can he meet a girl and she gets pregnant this quick and that my request was too much for him,I continued to beg on my friend's behalf,even went to his Mum to speak to her about it,the guy later accepted after so much persuation,Then her calls reduced,one day one of our mutual friend called me from Nigeria to tell me that my friend was getting married,me soji babe,I pretended as if I knew already,this our mutual friend even asked me if I knew who she was marrying since we live abroad together,in my head I was doing makosa dance in reverse,like seriously!!! So this babe is getting married,and I that orchestraed the whole thing didn't even know about it,it is someone far away in Nigeria that is telling me that she invited them to go with her for her traditional wedding at her inlaws place in Naija,the wedding was in Nigeria and abroad,I asked my husband if his friend told him he was getting married,my husband said No,I felt very bad that she could deprive me of sharing that joy with her but I let it slide,then she had her baby,I heard from our mutual friend again,I sent her a congratulatory message,she didn't reply,didn't call me till it was a day to the naming ceremony,she sent the address of the hall she was having the party with a message saying come if you want,I showed the message to my husband,he said we shouldn't go,I refused I told him we must go to that naming ceremony,we went oo,infact na me dance pass that day������,then kept a distance again and I let her be,she got pregnant and had another baby,I travelled to another country at the time of the naming so I didn't get to attend,Her husband too stayed away from my husband,but one day the guy came to our house and started begging myself and my husband that he knows he has wronged us,he called his mom on the phone to help him beg us,that his wife was behind his behaviour,he said she was the one that told him not to tell us they were getting married,said my friend was always comparing us fighting him always cursing him that he is stupid,can't he be like my husband,he said my friend even forced him to go get a mortgage he couldn't afford just because he wanted him to be like my husband,he said she would tell people that I jazzed my husband that they should help and deliver their friend(my husband)from me,she would say alot of bad things about me,his mother even confirmed all,I said to the guy that I don't wanna know,after all you did stayed away from us when she told you to,I confronted her and she denied it all,but I still let it all slide and I am still friends with her,but she got no place in my heart no more,just fun friend kind of things.
Lolll yours is even good.
ReplyDeleteMy so called university friend got married and moved to Australia without saying a WORD.
Not one word.
One day I still said let me even send a Greetings message to her on Facebook when I found her page.
My people 9 YEARS LATER Aunty responded to the greeting, talmabout she didnt know how she missed that comment.
Mind you she has never reached out to me in any way since then.
I guess my usefulness expired immediately we graduated.
I dey my lane now, I don't keep friends.
I could have written this story. Just that in my case she got married and we weren't that close anymore but cordial and always checking up on each other. Fast forward to 2018, I wanted to start processing Canadian PR and I told all my friends but since we were not that close anymore and she's married with children, I just advised her to discuss it with her husband that it might be good for her family. The way she cut me off ends, na something. 2019, she messaged me she was relocating to Canada with her family. Next thing she said I didn't tell her about my relocation, thank God for WhatsApp, I just sent her a screen grab and everything made sense. Apparently when I was giving her the friendly advice, she was already processing and submitted 2 days after I told her meanwhile, I hadn't even written ielts nor entered pool. Poster, I know how annoying it is but in life, you need to take somethings with a pinch of salt.
ReplyDeleteFriends that behave like that are always jealous and envious of their friends.
ReplyDeleteThis was posted days ago on IHN abi SP and someone said this poster was overeating. Quote 'she does not owe you anything. I am sure the person who left this comment is just like the posters friend. When stella will bring up a post on friendships you will then see 'I have no friends! I am my own best friend!'. How will you have friends when you are just a shitty person like this posters 'friend'.
ReplyDeleteLike I said then, block her everywhere and move.