Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DATING AND MARRYING A DIVORCEE
I am dating a divorcee and he wants to marry me.
I am dating a divorcee and he wants to marry me.
I asked the reason for his divorce, he said his wife was a wicked person and cheated on him, I believed him.
So I met a friend who knew him and was gushing about my upcoming wedding, when she saw his pic, she laughed and said I wish you luck.
So I Dug deeper for his ex wife number and sent her a message to know why they are divorced, she said time will tell, that cheating is a deal breaker for her, I replied that he said she cheated, she replied with a long ''lmaoooooo'' and said I will soon find out who cheated and if I love myself, i should not allow any female live with me.
I am confused, this man is so nice and generous, right now i don't know whether to go ahead with the up coming marriage to find out his real character or i should back out.
I have tried to snoop but he sets his phones in a way that if you touch it, he will know.
* I believe the ex wife..... He cheated and she walked. She has advised you not to let any female live with you because he might end up sleeping with her... The choice is up to you to go ahead and marry him and find out who lied between him and his ex or walk away now.... The choice is yours and I wish you all the luck in the world if you decide to marry him.
What do you want for yourself? good afternoon
ReplyDeleteI love his ex wife already.
DeleteFirst of all, what are your deal breakers?
Can you be with a cheat?
Can you live without ever bringing any female into your home (even your own siblings)?
Can you keep treating infections all your life.
Can you love a man who breaks his vows repeatedly?
It all depends on you, he wasn't even man enough to tell you what ended his marriage.
I don know but anything that doesn't give you peace shouldn't be considered
Poster I wish you all the LUCK too.
DeleteIf you want STDs/HIV, the choice is yours.
You want to use marriage to find out his real character when you have red flags waving widely at you? E reach to laugh at you😂😂😂.
DeleteInstead of you to ask for the wedding to be postponed so you have more time to dig deeper or for him to come out of his shell and reveal his true self, you are considering entering matrimony with him.
Poster no waka enter bush ooo.
DeletePoster start to dey come back no waka enter forest.
DeletePoster I knowww it is hard at this stage to pull out but please post pone the wedding. I'm speaking from experience. At least we've not said cancel altogether.
DeleteShe'll still marry him. Women prefer to be referred to as formerly married than never been married.
DeleteBiliksu 22:27 maybe your village women, but women like me have set our standard.
DeleteWe will not go below it.
Right from my teenage years I said if I don't see what matches me or even better, I will remain single, adopt and live a beautiful, happy life with my money.
I'm not a hungry, confused dependent willing to tolerate absolute walking trash with stds because I want to wear a ring.
As for the poster, it seems you are a detective. You want to marry him to find out if he is telling the truth or not? Buahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa.
Dont forget to file the report.
This is glaring just like the wife said. The man will never let you know the truth till you both get married. Plus you saw another red flag. Poster it's in your hand. Wishing you the best
ReplyDeleteMadam poster be asking questions ooo. I pity u.
DeleteFrom her response, you should know who cheated.
ReplyDeleteI love your bravery contacting the ex to hear from her. Most women would never. I also respect the ex for being civil with you when u reached out to her. Most would treat you like a rival/enemy.
DeleteUnless you don't mid, because there are women who don't mind a cheating husband. But if you know your heart cannot take the things the ex pointed out, then, now is the time to gbapu ya oso!
Ms Saphire, why will she treat her like a rival?
DeleteSomeone who ran away.
When you see someone picking up rubbish you left, you can only feel pity.
Trust me nen don't stop sleeping unless something happens, such as cancer, deathly sickness, very old age etc.
Even HIV/AIDs,gonorrhea won't stop them, prick will continue to rise like the fools they are.
So you do not know the man well, from your narration?
ReplyDeleteYou are setting the stage to marry him just because he "is generous?"
Please, believe the ex wife and go and try to confirm this information with another witness; someone that knows him.
It is called greed.
DeleteThe thing with some or most divorced men is that, you the next in line will soon find out why the other partner left, there's no lucky dip there..
ReplyDeletehmmm, divorced men... LoL
DeleteDon't be so quick to label people (men or women). In some cases, divorce is not a reflection of the character of all the people involved. What some people that eventually towed the path of divorce stomached, a lot of people will not tolerate half of it!
DeleteI have seen the most peaceful, industrious, and selfless people choose divorce to save themselves. I have also seen the most selfish,lazy, and troublesome people stay married (we die here syndrome). From the outside the world sees the latter as a saint because of the marriage tag.
You only get to know a person by getting to know them. Live and let live.
How much do you known this man? He might have changed as a person but you cant just ignore the things you found out about him. I suggest you call him, sit with him and tell him about your findings. His reaction will tell if you should go ahead with the marriage. First if raises his voice and try to deny it, my sister, take a walk. If he agrees and and say he has repented, tell him to suspend the marriage plan for now so you too can get get more time to digest the whole situation. Above all, use your head, not your emotions.
ReplyDeleteYou know I consider this angle about him being a changed man but why lie? Or better still he would have given a more mature response like we were both immature or he was immature.
DeleteHe would have told her the truth if he's truly a changed man
DeleteThe red 🚩🚩 are evidently seen now and it's left for you to go on ahead or withdraw
ReplyDeleteTell him you spoke with his ex-wife and watch his reaction.
ReplyDeleteDon't let Amy female live with you is deep. That means the man can sleep.with anything in skirt. I wish you luck
ReplyDeleteEven his children.
DeleteThe ex wife is telling you the truth. If you love yourself you better back out now.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know she is telling the truth?
DeleteLonger throat won’t let her . She would listen if he was stingy and broke tho
ReplyDelete1000 likes
DeleteDear Anonymous you have said it all, poster don't go ahead with the marriage plans please.
DeleteDefinitely
DeleteI agree with SDK, I believe the ex wife. Notice how she didn't try to bad mouth him only stated her truth and left you to make your choice.
ReplyDeleteIf he had told you the truth, I'd have believed he's changed. But, he lied and painted his wife as the perpetrator of the evil that led to the breakdown of his marriage.
Please, shine ya eyes. The handwriting is written on the wall, you don't need a Daniel to come interpret the meaning.
Why should the poster believe the ex-wife?
DeleteHmmm... it depends on how you value marriage. If you see marriage as the originator of marriage wants it to be, it would be better you take a walk NOW.
ReplyDeletePoster just pray about it. The ex could be telling the truth or lies so don't base your decision on that. Moreover, a man might cheat on A but will never do such to B, it all depends on how he respects and loves you.
ReplyDeleteMost time cheating is a habit,so stop being delusional about a man cheating on ex wife n not cheating on you cos u are diamond.
DeleteOne thing I've noticed is, people are so quick to tell you to back off from a relationship because the man cheated on the woman he was with before he met you. Hmmm,things are not done that way. The fact that he cheated on his ex does not mean he will cheat on you.
ReplyDeleteFind things out yourself. Talk to him about your findings and hear him out. He might have changed, his ex' attitude might have pushed him to commit the act.
You are different from his ex, you don't have same character as his ex.
Tell him your fears and let him assure you that everything is fine.
Just make sure you know what you want, have faith and believe that you will enjoy your marriage.
Lol... I'm sure this was the same thing Precious told herself when he married FFK.
Deletewhen she married FFK I meant*
Delete😁😁😂
DeleteI dey tell you @anon
My neighbors will wonder why I am laughing this hard. 😂😂. Please don’t be naïve
Delete@Poster, don't mind these people laughing fake laugh. If all of them were in your shoes, they would go ahead with the wedding.
DeleteThere's nothing like being naive here. Every word I say is true. The fact that he's a divorcee does not mean his second marriage will not work.
Forget naysayers and communicate with him. His response should determine your decision.
@ bold and whatever , u are talking trash, why didn’t he tell when the truth that he cheated instead of lying? If he had opened up then u would have made sense
DeleteLMAOOOO please put Bold kini kan's comment for Saturday AND Sunday laughs.
DeleteAunty you too funny aswear.😒
Somebody say she wantu find out for herself abi, ehen go ahead na..detective isonu.
That was how another detective that said she also wanted to find out for herself and was rubbing oha soup on her lips also found out for herself.
Please go ahead.
Bold, brave and NOT brilliant.
DeleteThat is how you make baseless decisions while ignoring the 1000 yards of red flag starting at you.
Red flag
ReplyDeletePoster even if it involves getting a detective get one to snoop for you. Press your friend that knows him and get more information. Get outsiders to befriend his or ex wife's to get more information about what led to their breakup but most importantly, pray to God. If you can pray about other things why can't you pray personally about this issue which is very important than most of those things we ask for. May God guide you.
ReplyDeletehmm... these are red lights already ooo
ReplyDeleteanother Chronicle loading after the wedding...hahaha. instead of u to chop n clean mouth...u want to do tasting in marriage...desperate much...I must be mrs syndrome
ReplyDeleteDer are good/ bad and repentant divorcees. This one pursuing me only talks about sex and bad mouths his ex. Me wey i don see red flag since, i just dey hail d woman as to how she was able to spend 20years with him
ReplyDeleteSounds like one i ran away from. Same narration above and chases everything in skirts. Found out his ex was a sweet woman who really got fed up with him. Babe why not dig deeper, pray and fast
ReplyDeletePoster are u a Christian,have u prayed
ReplyDeleteGo on ur knees and ask God.
A friend laughed, wife said time will tell.
What is jesus saying, he is the only one that will give u an accurate prediction of what the future holds for u and him.
U have d clues already. Get a female friend, sibling or help. Sit and watch. Simple.
ReplyDeleteDo what gives you peace of mind
ReplyDeleteHaahaahaahaa, I just see you writing more and more Chronicles.
ReplyDeleteAt this early lovable stage in relationship, he is hiding his phone, that should have been a big bright red flag but noooo, u think u are more very special, lmaooo, e go soon shock u. I once dated a guy that was just like this yaa precious guy, I nearly faint when I collect my own koboko, hahahaha.
Nne, let the man go.
The power of insinuation is one of the greatest tools of manipulation. His Ex wife didn't really have what to say, she planted ideas in your head and you allowed the ideas germinate. Whatever you guys shared is no longer important. You are the type that allow others define you, people like you are never happy
ReplyDeleteHmm sounding like the poster's guy already. Defender FC
DeletePoster be wise and confirm the character of the guy before your leap from fry pan to fire.
This is the time you put in the required work and put your emotions aside.
Anyway Stella's blog will always be here to share from her endless folder of chronicles just in case you might want to go with Alex's suggestion.
@The Original ShugarGirl, and the others who have been taking sides with the ex-wife are not Defender FC (defenders of the ex-wife)? The truth is that we don't know what happened that lead to their divorce. I am inclined to believe the ex-wife, but I have my reservations because of what I have seen in life.
DeleteI will as you to do a little experiment, which is any event you witness or any disagreement you have with anyone when thing are settled as the person for their side of the story and hear how they interpret it to you. This will give you a whole different of how this are seen for different perspectives. It just depends on what frame of reference each observer is observing.
So Alexander y is he hiding his phone? I go t know them but I believe the ex wife and the poster doesn’t even live d guy, it’s his generosity she’s after
DeleteI don't quite agree with you. And here is why I don't, the guy quickly closed the window instead of having an open discussion about it with the poster.
DeleteA sign that he is was guilty as accused and still is. Men who are often guilty in the breakdown of their previous marriage or who are lying to be single at the time fear to own up to a smart girl.
The just don't want to discuss it further and that's a huge red flag no smart girl should ignore.
Now that is from my experience dealing with men.
DON'T MARRY HIM,NOT BECAUSE HE IS DIVORCED BUT BECAUSE HE LIED..DONT GO AND EXPERIENCE IT YOURSELF
ReplyDeleteMbanu she must experience everything herself. Let her go and report her findings biko.
DeleteYou can marry him if lying and cheating aren't your deal breakers. Isn't it human beings liars and cheats will marry ?
ReplyDeleteYou already know what to expect so you won't end up getting surprised. No matter how bad a human being is,he/she won't marry an animal but a human being.
Just know what you can live with and what you can't.
Every human has one flaw or the other jare
All I see in this chronicle is this man is Nice and Generous!
ReplyDeleteIt is well poster..
Poster might be in for a shocker...
ReplyDeleteHmm I don't even know what to say.
But this man is unrepentant, to think he was the one who cheated and lied
She should have done her investigations way earlier.
DeletePoster this your case is complicated, if this your man has really changed he would have told you the truth about what lead to his separation from his first wife, fear men who castigate their former wives just to lure you in, because Cain wey him use to take flog first wife de untop wardrobe de wait for second wife. My dear poster dig deep before you fall a victim, no woman will leave her home because her husband cheated just once. And please don't be carried away with his niceness all is just to prove fake point to you and make you feel like he his a price, e go shock you say you fit enter house finish you no see shishi. His ex wife is kind enough to give you expo. Marriage is not a check in and check out something o.
ReplyDeleteThat locking part though, he might have changed, but if you can cope with him, you can go ahead
ReplyDeleteThe phone locking is another red flag and you are talking about marriage. I think you need to take both your friend and the ex wife's comments seriously and remove marriage from your mind.
ReplyDeleteAbi o. Phone locking is a huge red flag. As in o bad gannn. Hidden and scary secrets in there lol
DeleteThe wife has told you the truth but desperation I want to marry is pushing you into burning fire 🔥 you should pray about it.
ReplyDeletePoster u are lucky God is even helping u see people to warn u before u enter.U want to use urself to do practical abi?? Goodluck o👋👋
ReplyDeleteFunny how we all see this kind of stories especially if when talking about men.. but I laugh..
ReplyDeleteI am separated from my wife, she left about 3 years ago..
The reason she gave for leaving is that:
I starved her and my child.
I was cheating
I was abusive
Most people believe her bcoz she is the lady but I just dey laugh
All those who were matured enough to call me and discuss her accusations were able to confirm later that they were all false. But those who kept it and started looking at me with bad eyes, na them Sabi
Now to you Poster.. Sit your man down and let him know you spoke to the ex-wife.
Watch out for red flags but be open minded. Don't let what she told you influence the way you see him so you don't start judging him for no reason.
Relationship is based on trust so I really don't understand why you are going to the ex-wife. How will you feel if he goes to your former boyfriend and ask about you..
Let us be careful how we manage our relationships
Ask Precious ex-wife if FFK. She thought she was different, also longer throat no free her. Look at her condition now. I don’t pity her.
ReplyDeleteI think you should listen to his ex
ReplyDeleteMy dear, listen well to the ex wife. I use to be in this kinda shit too before I took a loooooooooooooooooongggggggg walk....... If u understand what I mean. Look carefully before you leap.
ReplyDeleteI also too a loooooooooooooooooongggggggg walk... don't have strength to get involve in something I don't understand
Delete@20:08, her response says it all. She is telling the truth. She didn’t say much but gave her enough clues. It’s more of go and find out yourself now from the little info I gave you. If I were poster, that will be my clue to end this relationship. Besides, if you’re a Christian, you should know that as long as the man’s wife is still alive, he can’t remarry. He is not your husband. Why not date a single man like you with no previous marriage baggage? Why not start afresh? You never find husband yet o hmmm. Goodluck
ReplyDeletePoster, I’d say find out more before you end the relationship. Get more proof to support what the ex-wife said. Set a trap for him, cheap his phone or clone his phone anything to help you be sure that you are making the right move.
ReplyDeleteMen who have been married before can NEVER tell you the truth about what happened in their previous marriage. Note: they are more experienced and thus can easily manipulate the next person/lady.