Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WEIRDO SITUATION
I met a man, we met online. We are weirdos alike.
He invited me over which I accepted and visited him. He told me he has a daughter(23y old) and he's never been married. I'm 30, a mother of 4, never been married. He's 50.
I visited and realized he's an easy going, humorous and simple person, just like myself. I don't know, but something just told me this is the man for me. He's what I'm looking for in a man. He kept saying if it's possible to view someone's photos online and see through the person, he would have kidnapped me since.
On my second visit, he told me he has a little son too. I feel very comfortable and happy around him. But, I got to see that he likes malice a lot. A malice keeping man? I can't deal! And he likes quarrel while I believe in sorting out whatever issue in a calm, matured manner.
No! He's not free handed pocket wise. But food is no problem. He's a wonderful cook. He believes a man should take care of and provide for his wife(by his words). I'm beginning to see some very big red flag which I told myself "no! this is not what I want to get into". But I still find myself wanting to be with him( no be juju be that so?).
He's never willing to admit he's wrong or taking someone's own point of view. We have common interest in some things( I did not let him know this. I know through his talks of what he wants to do). I told God to show me who he is and all these behaviours came out(I'm not a prayer warrior neither am I a churchy person). But there is this thing I'm not getting.
I told God in my mind that, if this is the man for me, let so so thing happen but if he's not the one for me, let the thing not happen. And the things happen! I don't have a boyfriend all these while because I don't want anything that will disturb my peace of mind. And the one I said let me give a try is causing me emotional stress( quarrel and malice over trivial issues which are no fault of mine).
How long will I keep begging and apologising for stating what I simply do not like or not comfortable with? The more I'm saying this is not what I want, the more my mind is accepting him. I really like this man but what I'm seeing so, I can't deal. No! There's no baby mamas drama. And this relationship is just one month old with all this drama.
Na wah!
You are an adult woman with FOUR CHILDREN and any wrong move can mess up their lives.....
If you know this guy has red flags and you still want to be with him na you sabi oh.... you are at the stage of walking away now but you are still talking big grammar ...
Experience should've opened your eyes, but no, big gbola will not let you see road or obey your instincts.
ReplyDeleteYou are grown and have four little humans who depend on you, you can't give them anyone that doesn't even give you peace, imagine how he'd be to your kids.
DeleteA 50 year old who acts like a child.
Anyone that doesn't give you peace shouldn't be in your life
Experience you say?
DeleteExperience goes along side with LEARNING...she has not learnt
Thank you
DeleteLemme read comments. Please
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon
Let me look for cold wine 🍷 for you
Delete😊Water will be better, please. Thank you
DeleteGood evening
😂 😂 😂 😂 You guys ehnnn...... I luv this blog. Blog of life. 🥰
DeleteWoman... dont go a step further! All the red flags are there for you to see but your heart is controlling you. Have you asked yourself why he's been single all this while? Walk away ma'am while you still can. One month is too small to be displaying all these childish atitude.
ReplyDeleteWhy will she asked why he is still single? When are heart is saying dooooooo
DeletePoster move on. Walk away!
ReplyDeleteThis was how I was always saying out what I didn't want with my ex. He was really a nice player and has first class in gaslighting somebody. Everything I say is an over reaction. Pheww
It is well
DeleteYou seem bemused and it be nice you follow your heart at this point
ReplyDelete"I'm 30, a mother of 4, never been married."
DeleteNne this is the chronicle you should've sent in. Tell us how you got here.
*Whispers* are you a 4*4 mum?
Waiting for another chronicles from you when you guys finally stay together.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
Hmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThis man you just described reminds me of one of my customers that used to come to my shop. Same age and also has a daughter of same age.
This man almost put jazz for after I refused him severally. Story long abeg.
I'm sorry to say but you have four kids already don't you think you should calm down at least for their sake. I understand you feel with four kids that your options are slim but if you put in more energy into making yourself a better person, someone worthy will find you at the right time.
This is just one relationship?
Make I no talk Sha.
I was reading this and thought you were talking about same man I met recently...
ReplyDeleteSame attitude, he never admits he's at fault and keeps malice too.. I will be thr one to always call and apologize even when he's at fault.. I had to walk away for my sanity, though it was hard because i became so lonely afterwards but it was worth it..
My dear, the red flags in your post are too many from a man at that age, please don't give in to anything that will affect your peace of mind.. .
Your next chronicle will be full of regrets and premium tears if you go ahead with this man. My two cents!
ReplyDeleteHmm,if she's not changing,then I doubt if you would be able to stay in marriage with him
ReplyDeleteThe negative signs are there. Just walk away when there is still time. You should be grateful to God for showing you these signs early in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI am tired of telling adults what to do because you are the one who went to OYO and came back.
ReplyDeleteSo,you should know better and stop stressing us
Which one is, the more I keep complain and begging about what you don't like, the more you keep wanting him.
Madam, accept him once and stop giving us headache.
We move
Lol
DeleteYou don vex.
It is obvious that ladies in abusive relationship/marriage love their abuser the more he abuse them.
Lmao.. sorry pinky, no vex abeg🤣🤣🤣
Deletehahahahahahaha infact the chronicle weak me walahi .
DeleteThink about your children before you make any decision.
ReplyDeleteRun oo9
ReplyDeletePoster please walk away, you're already seeing the red flag. Abeg you deserve Peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteWhat about your 4 kids ? Pls put those kids first in your life.
ReplyDeleteEyes is for seeing
ReplyDeleteBrain is for Thinking and
Reasoning
Leg is for Walking and Running
Dear poster run, if not for yourself but your little Angels (Children) they deserve the best
Thank you very much Beejay, he who has ears, let him hear.
DeletePoster make use of your God given senses for once.
Please whatever you do, sha dont get pregnant for him. The wahala will be too much.
ReplyDeleteYou know urself,u know what u can take in a relationship and what u can’t take,you are seeing the signs,please do not ignore.you have 4kids already,whatever u do,u must put them into consideration.You don’t want to be going tru emotional trauma at this age when u can just walk away from this impending trauma..iv bin with a man who keeps malice and I tell you that relationship made me a sad,bitter and unhappy person,I kept trying too hard to please him so that he won’t get angry and keep malice with me,I wasn’t myself in that relationship I saw hell,he could keep malice with me for 4weeks,1month,2months,as much as 1year.in all of these I’ll be calling,and trying to sort it out but he will shut me out.it might not be the same case with u but if ur partner isn’t always ready to trash issues out with u then it is very very unhealthy.if u believe u can’t cope please take a walk.fir ur kids,ur self and ur sanity.Stop always thinking u can change grown men ,only man wey wan change go change.
ReplyDeleteThe worse relationship is with a man that can keep malice. The man I'm with can keep malice for 6months in the same house, the psychological effect of it is telling on me. I'm only begging God for a job to leave him for my sanity
DeleteBe careful of statements we make to ourselves. You told yourself he is the man for you and now you want to push through everything to make it a reality. Nobody is perfect, but when red flags comes up especailly those that go against your core values you must be on high alert.
ReplyDeleteYou are still young, this is not your only and last chance. Sometimes the ugly words ppl speak to us stay in our souls and we want to do things to take the stigma off of our lives, but you need to be making empowering decisions for yourself and your children's lives. You cannot let the desire to have love and companionship in your life cause them to experience any childhood trauma.
The man's hand is not free, you are coming with four children it will cause issues. He keeps malice that means any little thing your children do that throws him off he will resent them. He is how he is, it is not your place to improve him or enhance him, especially at his advance age.
At 30, you can find another weirdo who is loving, generous, kind, and safe for your children to be around. All kinds of lovable weirdos are in this world. The one you with ain't it.
👏👏👏👏
DeleteMe sef dey learn ooo. 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
DeleteBeautifully captured.
DeleteWell done.
Poster run o! 4 kids are enough to keep you busy. Focus on raising your kids and only accept a man who has higher value to add. Don't complicate things Abel!
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry o poster, not trying to be judgmental but damn 4 kids at 30 and never been married? You were definitely busy in your 20s. Or did you start in your teens? Did you not learn anything from your past experiences? It sorta tells me a lot about you and your emotional state of mind. You’re not mature at alllll and if you don’t really get a hold of yourself now and work on you, you’ll continue to date shitty men. This man is obviously a No but you sha wan settle down by fire by force even if the man doesn’t meet your standards. Goodluck sha.
ReplyDeleteFOUR CHILDREN for crying out loud. It's obvious you too like gbola else what are you still doing with the man. A man that can keep malice will psychological and emotionally drain you. Concentrate on your children and keep your kpekus one place.
ReplyDeleteposter focus on your kids and leave relationships that ll definitely have your head upside-down upside 🙃
DeleteI don't like people that keep malice a lot, common if someone wrongs you just say your mind and move on.
ReplyDeleteMadam, please keep walking.
ReplyDeleteAway.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou saw all the red flag and still trying to ignore them. You are on your own 🤷🤷.
ReplyDeleteAm walking away from trouble in my life,am walking away
ReplyDeletePoster do you remember this song 🎵, that should be your national anthem now.
Goodluck
Don't worry when you belle for baby #5 all these your grammar will return back to Sambisa forest.
ReplyDeletePoster don't clouded by this man appearance.
get***
Delete4kids @30? you don't need a man, focus on your kids abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou people saying she doesn't need a man, why nau? Fine she got 4 kids,but she is human and young. I won't judge her because I was never in her shoes concerning why she has 4 kids and not married. I actually think she is quite brave. Poster my prayer for you is to find a good man who will really love you and also love and accept your kids. This man is simply not it. Anything that will affect your peace is NOT it. So continue to focus on your life and believe that you are worth a good relationship. It is not impossible. Also I will advise you to embrace God so that He helps you navigate the affairs of your life. Also focus on your kids upbringing so that in future they will make you proud. Pls update us on what you choose to do. I know you are lonely, loneliness can push us into all sorts, but usually brings regret. Try to fill the loneliness with useful things, along the line you will meet someone.
DeleteYou have never been married but with four kids, I throway cap for you, you really lived that life **winks**. Are your children of the same father? Sorry for asking anyway. Concerning the red flags in the relationship, understand that it will not change and marriage will not change it either. You have the option of walking away now or continue to live like this. Your children needs you to be there for them as well, don't waste your energy over a behavioural display you will never change.
ReplyDeleteHer kids need her because if the man continues to act up, she go Dey transfer that frustration and aggression on the kids. They don’t deserve that at all. Poster leave that man alone!
DeletePoster, I'm worried for your kids safety in such a relationship. You shouldn't be this naive. Your children should be your priority now, move away from this man. What do you need a man for anyway? If you truly want one, ask God to provide the man and walk away from this one the devil is sending your way.
ReplyDeleteThis one get K leg
ReplyDeletePoster your problem be say u don tire to stay lonely(without a man) so you san dey try over look this man wahala.
ReplyDeleteWatch before you leap
And no one is talking about her meeting a stranger at his home. And she has 4 kids. God forbid if anything happens ehn poster. Who will take care of your kids? I reject it for you in Jesus Name. Please meet people in an open space una no go hear word. Na wa for some of you women sha.
ReplyDeleteI know you must have gone through a lot of rejection because of your status as a single mum with 4 kids but if this doesn't feel right then just let it go.do not be desperate.. I heard a testimony recently on NSPPD of the woman who got married despite having 3 kids from 3 diff men. God can bless you with good because of his mercy. Take God serious and hold on to him for a good man..do your part, work on yourself too and believe God has better for you. we all have our faults as humans but not every one will bring out the best in us..
ReplyDeleteNa love dey worry you but you better no allow am happen like that .
ReplyDeleteThey are called red flags for a reason you know?
ReplyDelete