Hmmmmm...
NARRATIVE ONE
CONFUSED ABOUT ONLINE LOVE INTEREST
Please i am confused.
how can one respond to love with someone they met online and yet to see in person for over 2 months now? We are both in our 40s. Though I fancy him, I dont know anything about him neither does he know about me.
As i have not disclosed anything about myself yet. All he does is to send sweet romantic voice notes with Lionel Richie's 'Stuck On you" other romantic music to me, yet no phone call, no move to meet. I am not even sure I will like him when we eventually meet though he appears very mature. And i am eager to see him in person to determine if i will get involved or not.
But bros blows my mind with love notes, poems, music everyday. IS this love or infatuation.
I need a real man. Not voice notes. Is he working on my emotions? How do I handle this kind of blind love? He is just blown away by my looks on pictures and being from same state.. I need to see him in person cause looks can deceive.
*Why dont you tell him to meet or you initiate video call? you might be chatting with a married man for all you know. Please remember that girl that was killed and do not meet with him privately for any reason at all...
Start with video calls.. You might have found your dream man or being scammed emotionally by a serial lover man....
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NARRATIVE TWO
ADVICE NEEDED
Guys what do you think about this.......
A friend's hubby is an unrepentant cheat and each time he is caught he blames my friend that she caused it because she doesn't respect him that he doesn't have money, just talking rubbish.
My friend has forgiven him over and over again and each time the cheating episodes brew, she tells her parents in law, and they will convince her not to leave because of what people will say and instead advice her to intensify prayers. This has been on since last year, this time oga cheated/cheating with a single mother and got her pregnant (according to the text message she sent him)now my friend insists she wants to leave as she herself is pregnant.
She wants to leave for her sanity, at least till the man regains his senses. Now, Christian scholars and advocates of what the Bible teaches on marriage, what will you advise her to do?
Ah na nwah...... How can someone be so irresponsible? he does not even know that having kids from different women is like setting a bomb to explode when you want to rest.... He will find out later.
Let me read comments on this... but if her sanity is threatened in any way, it is best to leave!!!
@Posternumber1,Infatuation most definitely and it seems as though the online sham of a relationship isn't headed anywhere.
ReplyDelete@Posternumber2,I agree that your friend should leave for the time being and of course,the man is such a brash one...Unabashed much!
Adultery is one of the conditions that God gave for a spouse to leave a marriage. See Mark 10:1-10 etc.
ReplyDeleteThe choice is hers, and entirely hers. But that won't make her happy either.
Well she’s not happy at all in the relationship. So now what?
DeleteMathew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
ReplyDeletePoster 2: for a man who is an unrepentant cheat, I would have left him since for the sake of my sanity🙁. From the moment he slept with another woman, he broke faith with you, and that's enough grounds for divorce according to the Scriptures.
DeleteBut divorce shouldn't always be the first option. If you are willing to stay with him, there is the option of separation. May be it will be a brain reset for the man to get the help he needs.
If he continues in it, so what you feel is best for you and your children. In the midst of all of these, give it all to God. It takes Him to change the heart of a man.
I strongly believe you can't keep what belongs to the street. He's a wanderer, she can turn herself to a typical Nigerian 'war room' but a man who has made convenant with his destiny to be promiscuous in life can hardly be rescued.
ReplyDeleteHis parent are enabler, it didn't just start today. It's better she gives him a space to enjoy his new catch. Tell your friend to mourn her loss and move on, waste no time and emotion on an undisciplined fellow.
Poster 1; set things straight with him, ask questions about the relationship.
Poster 2,mind your business,your friend is not tired,if she is,nobody will advice her.r
ReplyDeleteHow do some of you live with disrespectful men. Is it a case of low self-esteem or what? . A guy like your husband who is use to cheating can never change. You tolerated his excesses for too long, even now you are not willing to leave and move on with your life. Does he look and act like somebody that want to regain his senses, did he by any chance imply that his senses are missing. How on earth is he able to cheat without his senses. I honestly think you are a part of the problem, forgiving him every time he cheats, give the impression you will always forgive
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the profits you get when you choose to remain with a cheating man.
ReplyDeleteA cheating man will dash you diseases including untreatable ones, bring in another wife, get other women pregnant and have kids outside, endanger your life (as side chick may kill you or give you spiritual illness), turn you to a kolomental(some women got mental issues as a result of the emotional trauma they suffered in the hands of their horsebands),etc
Tell you friend to weigh the pros and cons. Will you and her family be supportive of her move if she leaves? At times like this, one needs support emotionally and financially from friends and family. Will they welcomed her?
Does she have the financial standing to raise her child alone if financial support does not come from anyone?
A cheating partner is dangerous!
1st chronicle
ReplyDeleteAunty you are in your 40s yet you sound like a kid, u are talking to someone youve never seen, not even on video call, its not hard to understand why u are still single at your age...sorry to say, but its like you no too wise like that.
2nd chronicle, i know its you, not any friend, advice yourself cos most of you dont listen to anyone, you will still do what you like anyway.
I think your friend should leave the marriage. I can't cope with cheating and domestic violence in marriage. I think his parents are enablers and u asked to pray for a man who has chosen to be promiscuous as a life time achievement award. My question is if u are the one cheating will his family ask him to pray for u. African women have suffered trash in d name of we die there association. I think if she is financially stable, she should quit the marriage so that she can raise her child in peace. Poster 1: I don't think d man is in love with you. U guys are in the same state and he hasn't propose to see u when he is not a spiritual husband. Tell him u will like to see him am sure he is a married man.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,the woman needs to be separated from the woman for the time being for the sake of her sanity.Hope she has her own money as hunger usually drives some of them back
ReplyDeleteBut the man himself does not have money so I wonder what is keeping her there.
DeleteJesus take the wheels
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE QUOTE ME ANYWHERE THAT MAN IS SCAM. ITS THEIR FORMAT ,DONT FALL FOR IT CHACHA.sorry I had to shout
ReplyDeletePoster 2 keep forgiving, until you get HIV. Then you will know if people will TALK OR NOT.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 will learn the hard way. Romantic man at 40, naim one craze girl never use jazz hook am. Lmao. Use your common sense sometimes
ReplyDeleteI always say that at the end of one's life, there are no celestial beings waiting in the wings to present one with medals for being long suffering and dealing with bullshit. There us no reward for being the best "suffer head". Life is hard and only a fool adds to its hardness by enduring and accepting relentless disrespect from an irresponsible person. For what? And Nigerian women, unfortunately, are the front line flag flyers of this damaging mindset. Why does our love for our husbands have to be defined by how many acres of bullshit we can swallow from him? So we can be hailed "strong woman"?
ReplyDeleteNah boo. Couldn't be me. Happiness trumps everything for me. If respect is no longer being served, I respectfully take my leave.
My 3 cents for poster #2
Poster, I need to know if you met that person during Stella's single and mingle, that's the only way I can give you a solid advice. I have same Experience (twice), please just indicate
ReplyDeleteIn my own case, I later found out one of them was running a syndicate.
His voice didn't match the chats, the person chatting with me was in Indonesia while the one picking the calls was in Lagos/ Ogun. His vocabularies seemed nice but if you talk with him, it's a huge turn off.
The one I met here his own Na story for another day but what you described sounds so much like him.
Like I said, just indicate, if I see it on time I go tell you how far.....
Poster 1 - It’s a scam. Trust your instincts.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you are chatting with a 16ys old boy. That picture is not him. No serious man will have the time to copy and paste love poems..
ReplyDeleteMy husband cheats,as in sleeps around. Infact my first sentence is putting it mildly. I cried,prayed,did everything in the book to enable him change,for where,ogbeni is for the streets,no wam. Since this year,no sexual intercourse,made my plan known to the church and him. Nothing between us,he is free to do as he chooses as long as I'm not sharing my body with him. He is a good father,he does what needs to be done for our kids and doesn't bother me. I'm good. I have 5 kids who need me,I'm not willing to die for diseases I dont know how they came or emotional trauma,someday I will send a detailed chronicle of what my eyes saw. I do not disrespect him,he has his keys,the house is his,he comes and goes as he chooses but I'm not emotionally attached anymore. Ive asked around for sextoyshop and will get some to keep myself entertained.
ReplyDeleteAnon of the most high. Your mind is so made up. I agree,nobody will pull me into their mess. You sound so detached too.
DeletePlease share how you went through the phases to get to this level of emotional stability and I no send.
But did you watch War Room? Just kidding😅
DeleteNothing beats peace of mind in this lifetime. I hope your children do not grow up thinking marriage is just a glorified roommate situation. When the time is right remind them of the joy, passion and bondedness that marriage is supposed to be.
Unfortunately her kids with all suffer from this type of marriage because they don’t see love and harmony between parents. The learned behavior will definitely affect them. I feel so sorry for folks in a loveless marriage. It’s better to leave than go through this and kids end up being traumatized. I can’t deal abeg
DeleteThe both men are unserious.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, tell that man to see you in an open place. I met one guy earlier this yr in S & M,. The guy refused for us to have a proper date, rather he invited me to his house, which l didn't like the idea, after much talk and persuasion from him, since we both resides in the same location, fortunately his street is very close to my hse, men and brethren, the day l decided to visit oga, As l got to his compound. Oga no gree come down stairs come welcome me, chai, fine babe like me. I now manage to get to his apartment and knock at his door😄😄😄 come see oga, Oga come look like 50 yrs man, l ran away immediately without looking back. This is dangerously dangerous like Vincent would say:🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂 probably guy man was sending me his photos of about 10 yrs ago. Abeg always demand to see whoever you are dating face to face no be video call only, e get why. Part 2 of this life experience is coming.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLol!🤣🤣eyah, sorry for that.
DeletePoster 1, either the man is highly unattractive so he is trying to win you over another way, married, playing games or a 419. His unwillingness to converse but just sent the bare minimum to keep you hanging on says a lot. I do not see suçcess coming out of this. Spread your wings and talk to friends and relatives who you trust that can introduce you to valid dating prospects.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, unfortunately, her expectation of marriage was not fulfilled. The emotional abuse of her being blamed kept her trapped believing that if she just changed whatever about herself the cheating would end. She hated being there for so long now she is pregnant right alongside her husband's mistress. I cannot even imagine her pain at a time she should be filled with joy. Yet, the fetus has to develop in a pain filled body, never healthy, as the unborn is already being saturated in all those negative emotions.
Yes, she needs to leave for her peace of mind and for the successful development of the unborn. She will need lots of love and support. I hope she has a positive and loving support system to help her heal.
Poster 1 at that guy's age, he should be able to know what he want and go for it if he is not a jonzer. Don't push for anything and stop making yourself available because you may just be an escape out of his normal life.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: When it comes to separation and divorce in marriage the affected person always know whether to stay or leave.
Poster 1. I totally agree with Ma'am Stella Advice.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Leave for your sanity and clear your head for now.
A man that wants to cheat will cheat, the issue of respect is not an issue. Let's even assume he made a mistake at first but doing it continually to the level of pregnaying a single mother is totally out of it and deliberate.
ReplyDelete