Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED
Please I urgent advice.
I have been friends with this guy in my church for close to a year now.
He asked my hand in marriage, but I said 'no'. Then after many months, he told me about it again; asking me to go and pray about it, as he is convinced I am his wife. That same day, without praying about it, I had a revelation. I didn't see his face, but the advice I got from somebody in the dream tells me God is in support of the marriage.
I had another dream after some days, confirming it. So I became convinced that he is the one. I still didn't tell him 'yes or no', but became more closer to him. He told my pastor about it, but when he(pastor) asked if he had told me already, he lied and said 'no'. After which he told me to please cover up for him, that he lied. But I told him I can't lie. I also scolded him for lying.
So the next day, he went back and told pastor that he confessed. And everything changed. Pastor said we should stop talking on phone, should stop seeing each other for now( don't know how long it will last), and that any man really for marriage must be leaving in at least one room self contained before coming to him(he stays in a room apartment).
So since then we haven't spoken on phone (we talk like twice or thrice a day), and we don't talk to each other in church either. And its really affecting me emotionally because I really like him, and I noticed he also has not been himself since then. Two weeks ago, we had a youth program where pastor spoke more on the rules of the church concerning marriage. Since then, he stopped coming to church.
I have called him several times, he refused to take my calls ( I'm sure he's okay because I hear about him from his friends). I have decided not to call him again. Please what could be the problem with him?? Cos i am confused
LOL...
What could be the problem with him? small lie person ask you to lie, you say you no fit... Pastor tell you say e no dey lie? Why did your Pastor take this stand? why not preach to him about lying and forgive him? why strangle the relationship and play 'god' over it?
Where is forgiveness in all of this?
You both cannot marry if you continue to go to that Church because i can see that the Pastor will deal with you both.
If you want that guy back you both need to change church....
What is all this with going to Church to make a pastor Lord over your private life? do you have the same privilege over his?
Leave Pastor alone and serve God who is the author and finisher of your Faith...
What a very stupid, immature chronicle.
ReplyDeleteLol
Extremely stupid! This people and Pastor said and pastor didn't say, it annoying.
DeleteAre you nailed to the church? 2 adults that can't make join hands to make the most important decision of their lives without a 3rd party, are those ones adults?
DeleteGo and look for him and be an adult about it.
DeleteJust focus on aceing your WAEC.
DeleteThat is what is most important.
What in God's name is this Chronicle? Omo, there are foolish people in this world. God forbid
DeleteAceing your WAEC ke, laff wan kill me.
DeleteBut why did he lie though? In some churches if you are interested in a member you have to talk to the pastor about it. From there....
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I will just say God Thy will be done,the problem is you have already fallen in love and that thing blind as hell, if person fit lie to pastor hmmmm e get as e bi oooo. This is a test of his maturity for that marriage. if its really God's will, he will come back if not just see this as a way God works to save his children from unknown future. He should have told the pastor the truth. Although most times, our pastors (some who are emotional as they are also human) overdo things. Just relax and leave everything to God. Fast and pray as the devil most times appear as angel of light and we sometimes dream from the thoughts, fears of our mind.
DeleteI stopped reading at "he stays in a room apartment". Girl bye!!!
ReplyDelete@Shooter Gyal, nothing wrong if you find one with a vision. When I meant mine, he was in one-bedroom with no window only door, the general toilet I tried to go and pee, got there and ran back. He was the one training himself at school in Unilag, working and doing part-time. Today a fellow of ICAN. I saw how serious he was and married him. Today He has built a house in His village-rented,Five - Flats -rented in Lekki, another four -flats in another state,shops-rented, Land properties in all my Children's name. Cars, etc. No look today, look tomorrow, is the person focused and willing/able to make life better??? Not the lazy bums telling stories, the one you meet and see him sweating to achieve life with no help, there is a better future. Most times already made is not easy to come by and deal with. We worked hard together, today shares in various companies. Things dont always remain the same.
Delete@Shooter Gyal, nothing wrong if you find one with a vision. When I meant mine, he was in one-bedroom with no window only door, the general toilet I tried to go and pee, got there and ran back. He was the one training himself at school in Unilag, working and doing part-time. Today a fellow of ICAN. I saw how serious he was and married him. Today He has built a house in His village-rented,Five - Flats -rented in Lekki, another four -flats in another state,shops-rented, Land properties in all my Children's name. Cars, etc. No look today, look tomorrow, is the person focused and willing/able to make life better??? Not the lazy bums telling stories, the one you meet and see him sweating to achieve life with no help, there is a better future. Most times already made is not easy to come by and deal with. We worked hard together, today shares in various companies. Things dont always remain the same.
DeleteLol..
DeleteShu Shi don't despite the days of new beginning oh.. but truthfully, the least a man should be staying before marriage is a one bedroom apartment, plus some certain things should also be on ground, no listen to most babes weh go say Una go manage oh, na trap, the psychological torture that comes with it can be depressing at times, especially if you marry a woke lady that isn't understand, na so one guy allow him babe rush am to marry, him no get car and babe na woke girl, one of her male friend dey always come pick am every morning go work and drop am for evening too, oga no like the parole, him complain give the babe, she lash out at am say him dey insecure. Shebi to say oga fess but car instead of using the money do marriage all these nonsense for no dey happen..
Shu Shu, you carry me for mind for something I'm innocent of, an anon used my name to insult you with a plastic ID, it wasn't me ok? I no dey hide comment, anything I want to say, I say it with this my known profile. No allow one bitter person dey jam your head.. bless
Oh it wasn't you? Glad you cleared the air 🤗😘
DeleteWhoever you are, your doom is near
🤣😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteSTELLZ oh❗..
Make I laff finish fess..
Maybe I go come back come add my own..
But me sha, nobody, Asin NOBODY can/ would have a say on my relationship and how I decide to run it.. na me dey the relationship, na me go dey the marriage, if I no ask you for advice, no carry your oversabi near me.. free me make I learn the hard way, thank yo!
Two little children
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThank you
DeleteThe way some of you practice Christianity though. So you can’t cover up for someone?are you such a saint?
ReplyDeleteThat’s how some of you allow these pastors take over your lives even when married.
He’ll tell you not to sleep with your husband for two weeks, I’m sure you’ll accept gladly since your daddy in the lord said so.
If that guy was my friend, I’d advice him to forget about you. Go meet your pastor.
Lol, Stella leave naija and our way with MOG's.
ReplyDeleteMy concern is the audacity that "any man really ready for marriage must be living in at least one room self contained before coming to him" Since when has that become a standard religious rule? The set of people I avoid are those who don't have any conviction about God and at the same time don't have a mind of their own.
You see your last sentence is just me...
DeleteI totally agree with your last sentence. People with such attitude irks me, seriously. What do you know about the God you serve??? Not "my pastor say" " my father in Lord say"...... May God have mercy on us all.
Delete👌👌👌
DeleteChia, Stella,you see sense enhee,him no go kee u,hw are my sure that pator does nt like this poster,that's hw hubby(pator) will nt let my choir girl marry,wt different revelations... Story plenty,today am out,choir girl dey my house... Poster shine ur eyes,I'll one day send chronicle,when I get a better phone
ReplyDeleteYou say!!
DeleteAbeg use this phone send the chronicle, we go understand am like dat!
Which kain amebo P.S be this one now🤣🤣🤣🤣.
DeleteSo sorry about it
DeleteI am super disappointed in you for not covering up for him and of course,the "lie" is the major ish here trust me
ReplyDelete...but it's not good to lie na. She did the right thing in my humble opinion.
DeleteRemember Ananias and Sapphira in the book of Acts?
Her conduct is clear
DeleteDishonesty is lying
Not a good foundation to start a relationship on
The father of lies is who?
I can't take that rubbish, using R$B to spoil my Rigge.... that's how they will use church doctrine to put sand in someone garri. pastor took this too far (NEXT LEVEL), it's rubbish
ReplyDeleteHe Stay's in a room apartment? Although the pastor is not in a position to determine the type of apartment, I agree with him. A guy living in a room shouldn't be dreaming of marrying. Don't allow desperation push you into poverty and a life of regrets. Anybody who encourages you to lie is not an honest person. He will lie to you consistently. - Hannibal
ReplyDeleteWish I sang this to myself..I am in that mess now ..and more.
DeleteThat he made his intentions known while living in one room, does not mean that he will/can not move into a bigger apartment b4 marriage.
DeletePoster do you mean he stays in 1 room apartment? Chai, suffer no dey tire you???? You want a situation where your Mum or relative will visit you and when they want to sleep at night you people will start lifting center table ?? In the world of today? That boy wants to stay in 1 room and marry you?? Inwero uvuru chaa
ReplyDeleteHe may move after marriage. Look beyond what he has currently, tomorrow is pregnant, unless he is not ambitious.
DeleteAll these God said she is the one revelation things nawa o. Ask yourself these questions. Do you like his personality? Does he have goals and ambitions? Is his preek functioning? Etc. Nigerian Christianity. My Pastor say.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣,@ is his preek functioning,🤣🤣🤣
DeleteCult = Church,
ReplyDeleteIf church == cult{
System.out.println("Run!)
}
else
{System.out.println("Pray at home!)
}
Python 😅
DeleteSyntax error on line 1
DeletePoster, did you know it's possible to do things without these men who claim to have a direct line to God? You didn't even say you fornicated or something-wetin e for con do una???
ReplyDeleteKnow God for yourself and see the difference it will make in your life.
Your guy left because your pastor is overbearing and you can't make up your mind except your pastor...Not everything should be spelt out but you were not quick to catch that...Some place of worship are CULT SECTS not CHURCH...If you want to know every of my move, I must know yours too make two of us be FBI...Both of you are obviously not ready for this thing called MARRIAGE, also need to grow up and stop being naive...All the best...
ReplyDeleteYou've said it all.
Deletewell you can look at it as the pastor trying to make sure young couples get it right. Because when things go wrong, they will still run around for advice and counsel. The pastor saying anyone getting married should at least live in a self contained may be him saying the person should have something going and really ready to settle down.
ReplyDeleteHim leaving the church could also mean the pastor spoke some truths during the program that touched him in the right places. About him lying, he wasn't even confident enough to admit has spoken to his love interest. And poster did right by refusing to cover for him
my sentiments exactly...if you know what some young men do in churches you will tremble.. they will speak to about 3 women at a time and be lying up and down...churches set some of these rules because of the experiences they have had with couples and people intending to get married. what was he trying to hide that he cannot say he had already spoken to her? why must she be compelled to lie for him? so if the pastor is overbearing is that a reason why he should stop communicating even outside church? I do not even believe the pastor would have said stop talking to this girl entirely, he must have said just reduce communication so you can reduce time spent together which might make it difficult to take a decision when you need to. you both still sound very immature though...if the guy has ghosted you then let him be and move on please. if you are in a church and can abide by the rules then by all means leave. a group of people must always have at least a code of conduct whether silently or written to bring orderliness if not people will just behave anyhow they like leave. al churches have guidelines concerning dating and yes it might seem harsh for some people but it is their own way of ensuring that relationships and ultimately marriage start on the right footing.
DeleteWell,I think the pastor is right to some extent. His the guy financially capable? For him to be living in a room speaks alot. Love is not enough in marriage. Omoh shine your eyes
ReplyDelete*Is the
DeleteSmh....
ReplyDeleteIf this guy wants to marry you, shouldn't he rather be going to your dad to pay Bride price
ReplyDeleteinstead of going to the "pastors?"
Where in the Bible Genesis to Revelation did Jesus instruct the church to conduct marriages?
Please show me one Scripture! Rules of the church are not necessarily the rules of God (Matthew 15)
Matthew 8:20 ...The son of man has no where to lay his head...
Pls show me a scripture where God said a man should marry only one wife? You are totally against church wedding which the white man brought to us in Africa but like to quote scriptures from the Bible the white man also brought to us in Africa.
Delete22.56 you asked this same question some weeks ago and people flooded you with responses and several Scriptures, yet here you are again. If you want to disobey just say so rather than this your corner corner approach. The Bible is VERY clear on marriage being one man one woman.
DeleteDear poster, let me just say this, "you are not well and you are not serious. What was your motive for not covering up for him? Who is your pastor to instruct you to stop talking to a man you love. Did you not know he lived in a 1 room apartment? Or did you tell him the apartment was an issue. My dear let me tell you something, I have never met any lady or man who did this pastor said this, my pastor said that and did not regret it. You know why? Pastors are humans like me and you, and so they make mistakes too, act from emotional places just like me and you too. That Pastor may just have put an end to that your relationship for you abi love. Maybe the man is also thinking that, if he takes your calls since you are the most faithful child of the Pastor, you will go ahead and tell him, he spoke to you. I would advise you to talk to God by yourself, is there anywhere it says, while courting, thou shall not speak to the man? Most of the doctrines you see are man-made, check, if what the Pastor said is what your Bible said, if not follow your heart and ask God to back you up. If not you will miss God's will for you, because of a man acting on his own wisdom.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to be rude or abusive to advice the poster, why should you say she is not well??!
Deletevery rude indeed.. she is not well how? you do not know how old the poster is, you dont know her experience as a Christian, you dont know how she was raised and you just say she is not well and serious.. we can do better please
DeleteSo the qualification of being a Christian or a Christian husband is no longer the Characters of Christ;
ReplyDeletePeace, love, gentleness, kindness, humility and so on?
It is now, 1 room self contained? 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Church and the way we serve God in this country is still one of our major issues
ReplyDeleteGbam. It’s so so exhausting.
DeleteThis poster is following after holiness and righteousness and true doctrine which a lot of churches are not practising today. You did well my girl. Let him go. You have not prayed yet nor seek God’s face concerning this man. You did not pray and boom you got a dream twice. Be careful for the devil also parades himself as angel of light. Go and seek God’s face and obey what your pastor is saying. Keep emotions aside for now and see reality. God bless your pastor. A little leaven leavens the whole lump.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree 👌
DeleteThere's nothing wrong with wanting better standards,at least,the basics.Where I have a problem is giving a human being,flesh and blood that is still prone to faults and mistakes,ultimate power over your actions and decisions.If you really are convinced that he's the one for you,you better look for him and make up with him(not sex o),be tactfull when dealing with your Pastor,your aim is to please God not man If they stress you guys,change your church, no one has monopoly to God.
ReplyDeleteHow old are you guys?,all this looks childish to me...
ReplyDeleteYou both are not ready for marriage yet.
Very simple, poster just go and visit him and case will be closed. Visit him pls, a kiss from you will calm him down.
ReplyDelete@Anon 16:21 we're still ruling out lying as a no and u're talking about kissing 🙄🙄
DeleteAre you trying to crack a joke, or you seriously gave this advice??
Deletelol....kiss ko hug ni....do you know the things pastor heard that made pastor say they should not see much of each other? simple have you told her he said no.. even if it was against church rules no need lying. she might not even be the first girl he was toasting in that church.
DeleteSome of you are just in serious bondage. Pastor this, pastor that
ReplyDeleteIf you are sure, as in very sure that God has really spoken to you that the man is good for you, then find a way to reach him. I'm not talking about phone talk. I mean one on one.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you something. When God speaks, concerning a matter, the devil doesn't fold his arms and watch it come to pass. He'll fight it and make sure it doesn't work. In this case, it seems that the pastor is the instrument the devil is using. Yes, it is good to obey constituted authority where you worship. But one has to be sensitive to what is on ground.
Now, God can only do WHAT YOU ASK HIM TO DO. He has spoken, take action. Reach out to the guy. Find out what is wrong. If he is still interested, you both should find a way forward. Leave that church and go wed somewhere else. That church is not the canal to heaven. Just make sure you both don't commit sin, so that God can fight for you all the way until you get married.
But if on reaching out to him, you find out he is no longer interested, move on but not without taking time to pray. Satan doesn't ever allow two suitable people to come together except the said people insist. You both don't give up.
If you are comfortable with living with him in one room, then go ahead. No one knows tomorrow. His future is bright. You can never tell. The church I grew up in had that rule. It's a good one which favours the woman actually, but it has made a lot of people lose very good spouses.
Also, you guys form the habit of praying together and form a formidable force. I pray God provides for you at every point of your need. The Lord help you and stand for you.
If it works out, I wish you a happy married life
How can it favour the woman if at the same time it's made a lot of people lose good spouses?
DeleteReading mode activitated
ReplyDeletePoster he will come back just like he did before, but you two still have a lot to learn about courtship.
ReplyDeleteStella be giving poster hot hot, I'm with you on this
ReplyDeleteI think you should have tried to understand why he actually lied. I for one cannot stand liars. However if I can understand what pushed you to lie, then I will know how to treat your request to cover up.
ReplyDeleteNa so wan girl tell me say she go pray about my marriage proposal till this moment she nor give me answer me too dey my space some naija women playing hard to get after them go say husband nor dey abroad.
ReplyDeleteBe patient with her
DeleteReach out and ask her how far
You too go and pray
Be patient with her
DeleteReach out and ask her how far
You too go and pray
Na GOD know every every
No matter how strongly you feel about her, she has to very freely make the choice to marry you. And you must be prepared for a Yes or No as any answer is valid. Marriage is a union of 2 people who WILLINGLY accept to marry each other. Husband no dey does not mean she will accept anyone who comes her way, she has a choice.
Delete23.55 you are stating the obvious which I'm sure the anon already knows. No one is asking her to say Yes, but the decent thing to do is give a response so the guy can move on if necessary.
Deletesome of you men be thinking you are all that...tell us the time frame wey u give am to pray...you think because she is abroad as you mention marriage she go don fly say yes yes yes....go and sit down, marriage is not the ultimate in life. if you cannot wait then go and look for another woman
DeleteTruth of the matter is if it were me,I also wouldn't have agreed to lying in a bid to cover up for him. Inasmuch as I might not be able to put a peg on whether or not the pastor really handled the matter well,If that guy can boldly lie to the pastor over such a trivial question,I wonder what I would get in marriage with him if it's starting with a foundation of lies🤔.
ReplyDeleteInasmuch as I agree with one having a mind of their own and knowing GOD for themselves and not being remote controlled by doctrines,I think the young man also has some working on himself to do..... imagining leaving Church and excommunicating himself from you because of what happened?....does he have any accountability at all?with this kind of an attitude if peradeventure you both have issues in marriage tomorrow is that how he's going to behave?...wouldn't you even be able to call on any Spiritual covering/parent to talk to him?
If you believe GOD has spoken to you over this matter,no prob... don't destroy your relationship because of this,but also try talking to him about his manner of handling issues
Gbam. Kisses to you. Wo poster, you never jam husband o. Stop acting on emotions. You fell for him you now dey dream dreams hmmm. Did you pray about it? Stop calling him and respect yourself abeg. When you stop communicating, With time, you’ll get over him. Move on please. And kudos for not lying. Don’t start with lies when it comes to marriage. Goodluck and update us please.
Deletehe left not because she refused to lie oh, it was because pastor spoke more on the rules concerning marriage. I am sure he felt they were too strict. but why refuse to communicate with her because of that? poster move on with your life. he is not the only guy in this world
DeleteOne room ke...in this buhari time.
ReplyDelete