The Dark Diary - 7

Oh My GOD!!!

I was damaged psychologically and I knew it. But still I was a happy child and I did not know how I managed to laugh and make people laugh.


I got into school and needed more money but my ‘’customer’’ avoided me. I was too old for him. He was probably grooming someone else.

Every man I met was a potential customer and I was interested in older men because I knew they were my meal ticket.

I didn’t have time for the wild parties and men my age. I was into the sugar daddies and they came and stayed. I could sleep with all of them in one day and not feel a thing. All I wanted was cash to solve my needs.


My mates went home on holidays but I didn’t . To meet who? I told people I was an only child and an orphan. Why did I deny them? Because I didn’t have strength to explain to them that I came from a dysfunctional and selfish family.

I continued hustling and even engaged in group s#x with older men and they also invited their friends and I invited babes that were interested in the romp.

They offered a lot of booze and drugs and everyone would get high, but not me. My body did not respond to any of it . All those feelings women have and all talks about orgasm was strange to me too because I felt NOTHING. Not even for the man I married.

Just enjoy yourself and give me my money, I have bills. No time

I was stone hearted. Love me at your own risk.

I met my husband when I was in school. He was caring and helpful. School was almost over and I was thinking of what next because I didn’t want to go back home.

I was writing my final exams when I discovered I was pregnant. I told him and he was happy. He met my father and we got his blessings. My brothers kicked against the marriage and I didn’t care about what they felt.

We got a date at the registry and it was on my birthday. I went to tell my family only for one of my brothers to decide to throw a party in honor of my mother’s memory [she died giving birth to me] on the same day.

They all went to the party except my quiet sister that went with me to witness the wedding. My father was not feeling well at that time.

I was happy and free at least I was not going back to live there. and I was free from all the physical and verbal abuse.

*Crying*