A lot of divorced people are living in regret and some who have walked out of relationships wish that they did not.....
Why did your marriage break up? Are you one of those living in regret and wishing you had done something different to make it work? or are you happy about the divorce?
Do you have any regrets that your relationship broke up? Do you wish you had done something differently?
Can we learn from your mistakes? or will your story save someone else?
Let's gist!!!
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The lesson I’ve learnt with marriage is it’s a scam. Like why and how will you agree In any way to live with an individual under the same roof who may have all kinds of issues ranging from mental illness, psychological issues etc for the rest of your life? I no longer believe in it you can happily and peacefully coparent and raise healthy kids . I notice people who couldn’t stand each other in marriage make better coparents. ANG pls miss my opinion don’t come under it pls.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm
DeleteMarriage is not a scam but parties involved made it look like a scam
Nobody say make u marry the wrong person abeg
DeleteThe second to your last sentence answers your question. People who are not compatible with each other should not marry.
DeleteDeal with your bad choices and don't lump the rest of us in your wahala
DeleteMarriage is not scam cos it did not work for a few
DeleteMarriage is not a scam,if you don't believe in it,some people do believe in it,and theirs worked,if it didn't work out for you,be happy for those enjoying their marriage.
DeleteI have come under you 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
DeleteMARRIAGE IS BLISS
for that is how our Lord made it. Humans like you convert yours to "scams" by not being faithful to;
foremost, the Lord and next to the marriage covenant; your spouses.
The Lord gave me the best I ever asked for in marriage and we are even more in love now than the day we got
married. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
Please, if you are having it bad, give it to the Lord Jesus.
That you made a terrible choice of a partner doesn’t qualify you to make such unfounded generalization.
DeleteI have been married over 6yrs n counting and can’t imagine my life without my partner. Marriage is one of the best blessings of my life and to so many other couples I know. There are still so many good and blissful marriages out here so don’t come and scare single people here because of your bad taste in men
Biko marriage is a scam!!!! Even in the best choices you still find one partner loose focus… pretend biko it’s a scam
DeleteMy marriage is not scam and will never be one, taink you.
Delete@ anon 14:16
DeleteIs love a scam? If No,how can marriage be a scam?
Change your mindset .
Hope you are not with the wrong person.
No body is living in regret. The only regret is agreeing to marry the person in the first instance.it is well
ReplyDeleteAre u speaking for ursef or what?
DeleteSo many people lived Ng in regret of divorce(both male and female)
The regret of marrying the person is a separate entity
I could have sworn I made statement. The regret is the wasted time, there are some things that shouldn't even happen let alone one learning from them
DeleteLet me add, the regret is knowing u are now a divorcee courtesy of marrying that person, when u could have just being a single lady. Speaking from a ladies perspective, but regret of divorcing sometimes naaaa.
DeleteSome people actually regret divorcing their partners
DeleteOne reason my inlaw is regretting his divorce is because he doesn't want to pay his house rent alone 🤣🤣
DeleteI just shook my head today, the lady dodged a bullet bo jare
Good topic Stella. I will be back to share the experiences of a close ffriend and another family member.
ReplyDeleteWe are waiting because I love to learn
DeleteWaiting
DeleteI dey queue
Delete😂😂😂 Amebos.
DeleteMy cousin got intoxicated with FIN and suddenly began chanting 'men are scum'. She started coming to gist us how she cannot take shit anymore from her husband of 10years. I once tried to remind her of some really good side of her husband and she shut me up cos I was single then. She would never contribute her shishi to house up keep or support for the guy and she come to brag that he behaves well because he knows she will leave him in a heartbeat if he falls short. One small disagreement happened and she moved out with her children. The guy cried to high heavens and she told us she will teach him a lesson. She got support from FIN and they paid a lawyer to file for divorce the guy almost died and my mum warned her but she insisted she just wants to shake him up. We heard he started seeing someone and told her, she felt insulted and continued with the divorce process. Divorce took 2 years and she was playing games only for us to hear the guy has gone to pay bride price. That was when it dawned on her! But her pride won't still let her as per what will she tell her fellow feminists? So she decided to sue for bigamy because the final divorce certificate wasn't out yet. The judge asked her if she was ok since she was the one who filed the divorce. When that didn't work she started stalking them, denied him access to the kids, went to MFM to fast 3days dry and landed in the hospital. Wo, story long.
Obviously she still loved him but just needed to prove some sick point. The guy has a new family now and the court gave him visitation rights to the children. He takes them during holidays. He is doing even better financially but the court the guy should pay her10k up keep monthly. In today's Buhari Nigeria! The wahala just too much.
@Ms Saphire, that woman will be swimming in premium tears by now.
Delete@Ms Saphire I hate that FIN forum so much!
DeleteFIN? I will just waka pass. Women deceiving women. They wickedly advice others.
DeleteGod help you if you take advice from people you don't know but met on social media 😏
You say Ms Saphire? Premium tears pro max reloaded. Stupid woman.com
DeleteHmm that stupid FIN. It was actually a good page but human being always take things too far!. They removed me because i called out a woman who was talking about how she was violent to her boyfriend. How is that acceptable.
DeleteA friend wanted to add me that year when it was making waves, I did not join after reading about their atrocities here
DeleteWhat is FIN? Is it a religious cult or what? Someone please enlighten us.
DeleteSue, FIN means Females in Nigeria, it's a radical private Facebook group for females only.
DeleteThank you @ Saddy.
Deletesorry your cousin is the badly behaved one here and FIN does not and has never encouraged women to behave badly....FIN is a group for women to speak out and if nothing has thought women to speak up and not endure a culture of silence to abuse and other stereotypes they endure from society...if your cousin messed up then she cannot blame FIN.. men are scum is not a mantra shared in FIN as their are loads of married women who are there....I have been married 16 years and counting and I do not believe marriage is a scam...it is a shame that even people who are meant to be educated will think thank women will in this day and age continue to endure a culture of silence...because women now speak out then you tag them feminist? you should go educate yourself more about feminism.. if you were ever removed from FIN then you violated the rules, learn to obey simple instructions. do not repost any story and do not be judgmental simple. it is a forum for women to be heard and pour out what they are going through. it is not a normal page where some of you come to run your mouths with insults and your usual crass behavior
Deletei literally did all i could to make the relationship work but all i can say now is thank God it didnt.
ReplyDeleteYeah I know that feeling. When you meet someone who treats you faaaar better than that ex of yours, you would thank God that he messed up.
DeleteGlory be to God
DeleteIt may not even be about meeting someone else...it may be about now knowing your self worth
DeleteGod hates divorce...Malachi 2:16.
ReplyDeleteDivorce was never his intention in the marital covenant.
There are no "irreconcilable differences"
The only basis (not compulsory or obligatory) for a divorce is adultery (idolatry; Eph. 5:5, Col. 3:5).
The other spouse can still forgive the adulterer and move on... but that's
on her/his own terms and volition.
A lady cheated back on her husband for "cheating with her best friend"
When her husband found out, they had
a no small acrimonious breakup and a messy divorce.
The man of course moved on quicker, married another woman (not the one he cheated with).
The lady also later married her "ex" who has been wooing her even while married
(that was the one she parted legs for immediately "her husband messed up"). Both second marriages packed up within 3 years. The lady's ex always
felt that the lady did not love him but
used him as a "rebound" and they continued to have issues.
Now both the original couple have given their lives to Christ
and desperately want to come back together.
But they discovered that they can't.
The reason is obvious (Deut. 24:1-4, Jer. 3:1-3, Mark 10:1-9 etc.)
They kept wishing everyday that they fixed their marriage the first time
they were married.
Yea, adulteries and divorces can be dislocating with needless bruises and
fractures in one's life. My advice (from the Scriptures as always)
remains; DO NOT MAKE ANY DECISION WHILE YOU ARE ANGRY.
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
DeleteI don't know what u have written, but it is the reason many die in useless marriages. My neighbour who is a man and a Deeperlife pastor lives in misery in the name of that quotation up there. Every week fight, public embarrassment from his wife. Last month neighbours had to call the police for her, after she came charging at him with scissors, other husbands collected it, madam went and carried pestle to knack this man. Flinging their baby into the car, smashing his windscreen, running after him in towel. Police came, we did not sleep until, 2 am when police came. We pray one day they will call the police that Mr. Henry has been killed by his wife. Divorces are permitted my dear, instead of enemies living together abeg.
DeleteNice one but the passage you quoted as regards the couples wanting to come back and cannot is so wrong and taken out of context. Poor couples are living in bondage even after finding Christ. If they have honestly found Christ as they claim and have forgiven each other, then let them go back to become husband and wife. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” Just the same way we all married our 1st husband who is Jesus and then committed adultery by sinning against him. Worshipping other gods and not giving him our full attention. Then we realize our wrong and decide to come back and Jesus will not take us back? Just bcos we sinned he will no longer forgive us or accept us back? I don’t agree with that whole they discovered they can’t come back o.
DeleteGod hates divorce yes! But God doesn't hate divorcees.
DeleteAnd God would rather have you separated and well,than married and miserable. My two cents.
Me Henry is a fool let him he won’t enter heaven because he endured a violent marriage on earth it’s not the criteria oo
Deleteanon 15:27 they can separate for a while to see whether their brain will reset.
DeleteWhat's wrong with that Mr Henry? Will he say he's enduring persecutions? He's senseless
Delete@15:27
DeleteIf you have bothered to read the Scriptural citations, you would have understood that that "Pastor" can divorce his wife because of "marital unfaithfulness;" but that has to be his "sole discretion." And you and I do not know the reason why he chose not to. He has not committed any sin by not divorcing her; has he? You did not read those citations; did you? You quickly jumped into the bandwagon of "attack and kill and call names"
The fact that God allows divorce in cases of "marital unfaithfulness" does not mean that he does not hate divorce.
Proverbs 21:9
DeleteIt is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
@17:49
DeleteThat proverbs you quoted did not tell you to divorce a quarrelsome wife; did it?
let us stop trying to twist Gods words...he will not change for any man...God hates divorce is clearly stated in the bible. moses said the isrealites were a stubborn people that is why they divorced.. that is why you do your home work before marriage. I however personally believe that God will not want you to stay in a situation that threatens your wellbeing or your life. this man above can separate from that woman till further notice. if after separating there is no change to her behavior and he still feels he cannot continue then he can divorce and that will be between him and God. I believe also all avenues must be sought for reconciliation. they need to both check what they are doing wrong and be ready to change with the help of God.. some people have partners who abandon them, will they keep waiting forever? God can choose to have mercy on whom he wants and give you a second chance. I believe that couple who were once married can still come back to each other. The blood of jesus speaks mercy even where there is judgment.
DeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteDivorce is a topic that cannot be taught or explained by just one aspect of the causes of divorce.
Marriage is an institution led down by God and the only way the institution can work out fine is to follow the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ..
Things that can lead to DIVORCE
*Unfaithfulness
*Pretence
*Domestic Violence
*Extra-marital affairs
*Love of money
*Being materialistic
*Love at foresight
To mention but few.
As the king abandoned queen vashti because she disobeyed him and the elders came together to make a decision . The king married Esther after vashti. Situations like this cannot be judged. Same scripture . Let’s be careful as we do not know the mind of God. Let the spirit lead in all decisions.
DeletePlease add « committee of aunts and mother-in-law acting as wives to a mama’s boy « husband ». plus a prophetess seeing visions. 😂😂
DeleteI regret the time spent in that den of vipers. Thank God I left them to marry their son.
I japa because of vawulence, am soooo grateful to God Almighty that l left with my beautiful kids. It wasn't a relationship but a situationship whereby I was the only one doing the love 🤣. Guy didn't even pay a dime on my head but I took out of impatience and desperation on my part. I thank God every day for those kids, God gave me a second chance and two beautiful kids. Thank You Jesus
ReplyDelete💜💜💜
DeleteA pastor o at deeper life assembles Enugu.guy was sleeping with my house help of 12 years and her mother. And they were planning to eliminate me to cover up their tracks.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a good thing but be careful and be prayerful.
Prayers saved me.as I got the revelation I planned my exit.
.. Meanwhile marriage lasted for 1 year and in that 1 year he never touched me.
Stella please if I'm not anon don't post, please 🙏.
Ogaooooo
DeleteWow!!!
DeleteWhich one is deeper life Assemblies? It's either deeper life or Assembly of God.
DeleteDon't worry God will surely judge. Just watch ND see
Say what!!!!!🥴🥴🤯🤯🤯
Delete"Meanwhile marriage lasted for 1 year and in that 1 year he never touched me."
DeleteStrange. I believe this is a ground for annulment. If the marriage was never consummated, it can be annulled.
God saved you...I can bet you were not prayerful before the supposed marriage and started becoming serious when you started seeing things...i tell young ladies as soon as a guy starts asking you out start praying and fasting.. God is faithful and will reveal things. marriage is serious business, dont be carried away by love and sweet nothings. not everyone who claims a Christian has a deep walk with God and somethings can only be revealed in the place of prayers
DeleteI am divorced, and have no ounce of regret. I knew I did not love him, but felt it would grow. I did learn to love him in my own way, but he did everything to make me regret ever marrying him. I asked God for a second chance cos I knew I had walked into a mistake with my wide eyes. God heard, and everything fell apart. I got my freedom back, given 20 million to go back there, hell to the no. I love me like this. Only regret is I never should have married him, since I knew in my heart I did not love him.
ReplyDeleteHmmm I'm in same situation with some guy. Not married yet but I feel I don't love him (hoping for it to grow). He is very good, no red flags at all just that I feel no desire to be with him. I don't hate him either. But I'm praying about it.
DeletePlease if it’s another man that’s making you leave. Please do not. He’s definitely going to dump you. Please don’t
Deletewhat are you praying about? that love will grow? my dear the earlier you free yourself the better.
DeleteMarriage is basically living for others and that is one of the most difficult thing to do for humans.Its hard,no matter how easy people always try to make it seem,it’s very very hard,especially when you do your best,put your wife and kids first and it’s still not enough.Me and my wife had a serious talk last night and discussed ending it peacefully,it’s just going to be devastating for my kids and that’s why Iv even stayed this long.They are more attached to me than they are to their mom but how long will I continue to stay in a marriage devoid of love,affection,intimacy,understanding and her selflessness?most of the stories people hear everyday is about women going through shii but men go through worse,especially emotional and tolerant men like me.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 15:10 u just spoke the mind of a lot of men. If not for what society will say, for the kids, a lot of men in marriages today would be divorced. I have a friend currently, he lacks the boldness to do as you have, but if he did, that marriage would have been long over.
DeleteIt’s well. Are you sure you won’t be miss her?
DeleteHmmmmmm
DeleteI wish more men would speak out
It is well with you oga
DeleteMay God intervene in your union
Men also experience alot but people no dey believe am.
DeleteIt's so difficult staying or managing in a marriage where love has died for too long..
Both of you deciding to separate amicably isn't bad.
DeleteBut take your time and don't rush into a relationship with someone else.
And whatever you both decide on going forward,the overall wellbeing of your kids should come first. Shalom.
I wish you the best. Take care.
DeleteHer selflessness or selfishness???
DeleteI don't really get it.
If she is so selfless, then why are you going through a lot???
sorry about your ordeal sir. may God give you the wisdom to go about your decisions
Deleteunknown 7:02 you should know that was a mistake
Wasn’t a mistake..i said devoid of her selflessness..meaning she’s selfish
DeleteChai. Maybe you guys need a vacation. First, both of you alone go on vacay, keep the kids with their grandpa/ma. Then maybe each of you go on vacay alone. Rest. Think. Breathe. Then come back. I hope it works out, good luck!
DeleteMhen my Best friend is going Tru same. Men actually feel this more. Love and light anon.
DeleteFinding a better ground to breath is boundless. Wish u all d love
when a foundation is faulty marriage can never work....how did it start? what are the issues on ground? i know a man who cheated on his wife shortly after marriage but never apologized for his actions. the woman turned cold after that and started claiming the woman has no love. he feels women should know that men cheat and nothing anyone can do about it...yes he gave her the impression he stopped cheating but he never truly apologized and he expected her to just move on? do your think she will ever trust you again or ever feel she is number one in your life? some men married a woman who never really loved them but just because they wanted to answer mrs and have kids as biological clock is ticking. they assume the woman will love them later but no years down the line no love...if you are a Christian then go back to God and study marriage. begin to love your wife like Christ loves the church and you will begin to see changes. Divorce is never the solution. work on your marriage and yourself because I am sure if we sit her down she will give us her version of what you are doing she does not like.
DeleteAfter 15 years and 2 kids he refused to marry me proper. He built houses in Nigeria my name is not on any. Now he just started a company he gave some shares to his brother none to me and my kids. I want him to leave me alone but he refused. Luckily I'm okay with my 2kids since we left him after series of abuse and emotional torture. I want this man to leave me alone. I don't love or want him again.last week he came to my house unannounced that he has accommodation problem here where we based. He would rather send money back to Nigeria than gives us a dime. Since I left him I had peace and joy.
ReplyDeleteHe’s mean. God will judge him.
DeleteHmmmmmm
DeleteI pray that my good Lord make you happy always.
I wonder why some men get into such act when you know u don't love her
Tell him there are homeless shelters near you or his brother can find a place for him. I hate wicked men
DeleteBut yours is not divorce ma, you broke off a relationship that was headed nowhere. Please don't compare it to divorce, a broken relationship is better than divorce.
DeleteThere is more to meet the eye than the physical, he is being controlled spiritually and that’s a fact. PRAY!
Deletestop allowing this man manipulate you. do not let him use you, if he does not find you worthy of marriage then he should go. he can see his kids in a neutral place. face your life and kids, just make sure he pays his part for their upkeep dasal.
DeleteI will come back to read comments.
ReplyDeleteI want to learn.
Marriage is not easy no matter how rosy it seems even when you marry your friend like I did.
Some days in my marriage I feel like leaving, especially when he gets me so rilled up and pained, some other days, I thank God for giving me my hubby.
Human beings are sweet on some days and also annoying on some other days, so to be stuck with one human for decades takes the grace of God.
However, it can be achieved with patience, love and dedication and most importantly if violence or cheating is not involved. Those two are the deal breaker for me.
Me too @Courage. Cheating and beating are dealbreakers for me.
DeleteSome women don't Mind that he cheats, as long as he takes care of his responsibilities. They would say "all men cheat", it rains everywhere bla bla bla.
There are faithful men out there and they are many. Some women have not just have been opportuned to be with one.
To have the right partner, pray to God for his ordained will and not what anyone says but God's will. Don't let the world deceive using tribalism, racism and what not.
ReplyDeleteKnow this and know peace
There are several reasons for divorce in the Bible, but it's always the last option when all other options had failed. I prayed that all those spaying divorce is evil, for their daughter or son not be involved in DV individuals, because then you would have to pick between your child's life and the marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe bible says God hates divorce period. no several reasons just on grounds of infidelity. if you want to disobey God that is between you and him.. if you are involved in domestic violence then by all means go and live separately. If you are separated and do not see any change in his behavior then by all means you need to move on till God instructs you what to do next..when you leave some men they move on to another relationship so yes in that case you have a reason of adultery..
DeleteHmmm,am not even stressing it but in all marriage is beautiful because God ordained it, waiting on God to send me my destiny partner
ReplyDeleteNever met one person who got divorced and ended up regretting the divorce itself. That's just false. If people can forget about the man-made stigma and the so-called "God hates divorce" that a human being like you wrote down thousands of years ago, they will experience freedom from shackles and real joy. I'm pretty sure God loves joy lol. Sometimes you guys act as if God came down to write rules for you or as if God doesn't speak to individuals today. Na the one wey person write since when una dey carry for head.
ReplyDeleteGod is real and His Word is truth. Your not believing it doesn't change that FACT.
Deletethe bible was written down as the Holy spirit instructed man. you are obviously not a believer and you do not believe the bible is Gods word. God instituted marriage so if you are not ready to believe his word then you cannot enjoy it like he made it to be
DeleteNo regret at all, my only regret was marrying the narcissist. Thank God I left it and I’m in a better place now. Being matured is very key to getting married. I was desperate and felt my friends are all married and societal pressure contributed to my desperation. I should have waited for God’s will for me but I thank God I left early without any kid. There’s nothing to regret about a broken marriage, just learn your lessons and move on especially if you’re the abused.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful to God I left with my two beautiful girls.But I get sick wen something triggers me to remember the past.Thank Lord Jesus for delivering me from d bondage my father frustration pushed me into.His first wife also ran away after a month of their marriage but I thought mine would be different,Dear Bvs,never let anyone frustrate or push u into marriage,there are destiny killers out there.I came out alive with debts, now I am struggling to pay my rent,he almost destroy me!!!
ReplyDeleteMay Almighty God restore all that had been lost. Thank God you came out alive and stronger.
Deletethe first wife ran but you thought you were better than her and better behaved...sadly that is what most women with abusive men think...they see signs and even if you warn some they think their own will be different...
DeleteHmmmmmmm, never met any who regretted being divorced
ReplyDeleteMarrying wrong is a drain. I tried to stand by him, spent myself and still never got appreciated. I regret marrying him, when your marriage causes you declines, makes you a ghost of who you were before you got entangled, then it’s time to rethink matters. The matter long but I’m taking the legal steps to free myself. I’m so thankful to God for my two kids, they are my will power, strength & goal. I know we’ll be fine. My family has been wonderful, that’s why I’m an advocate of keeping an open line of communication with your siblings & parents.
ReplyDeleteI could have sworn I wrote this! Ar some point he started accusing me of being the cause of his poverty! Me that was doing so well before marriage. Bought lands, travelled the world etc. I asked him what he had before I married him and he couldn't say. Things became so bad for during the years I was in the marriage thar I was buying bruised broken tomatoes because they were cheaper, just to make ends meet. I got tired of the emotional abuse and left. I didn't want my children to grow up abd think that what I was going thru was normal. Since I left, it was as if a dark shadow was lifted off me. The money I have made in 2 years alone, I didn't make one quarter of ur in the 7 years I stayed with him. Story long but I thank God everyday for my siblings. They were a strong pillar of support for me. A d he did everything to separate me from my siblings. Unfortunately for him, my parents brought us up to be very close but independent of each other financially. Mynonly regret was not leaving earlier. I jeot trying, hoping things will change instead They got worse.
Delete@anon 18.15, I’m the first Anon, the parts of your story you shared are strangely similar to mine too. I called up bank statements recently for the period we were married, if & when required in the court proceedings & I saw all over again how my money drained away in my bids to support his inadequacies. Well that’s all in the past. I’m happy you’re in a better place too.
Deletewhen you meet a guy who cuts you off from friends and family RUN...that is a red flag because they know if your close people know about the abuse they might influence you to leave..
DeleteI used my hand and advised myself,to avoid premium tears,,my ex at 45 yrs.,he still allows the sisters control him,by looking for a wife for him,,I am from Ebonyi and he's from Ngwa,they told him to marry from their side and he agreed and will come back to tell me to GET PREGNANT FOR HIM,so he will used it to tell them
ReplyDeletethat someone is already pregnant for him and I refused and stop visiting, even after paying bride prize he still calls me to tell me,that he missed me,,he loves my company,I makes him laugh loud,NONSENSE MAN..
I HAVE STOPPED PICKING HIS CALLS,,
He is not man enough to make decision..
I DODGED A BULLET SERIOUSLY...
I congratulate you...you would have been battling dem witches for the rest of that marriage
DeleteI miss my ex, I regret allowing my family make this decision of marrying someone else. I am currently married with two kids but, the love is barely there. I don't think we will be together in 10years time. It was an arranged marriage. Sex is nothing to write home about, she doesn't like surprises, she doesn't like hanging out or doing what normal couples do for fun. I actually married her a virgin and that was one of my biggest mistakes ever. I recently reconnected with my ex, she is still single, if not that she is principled, I would have cheated. She is the only person I genuinely loved/love. I don't just muss the sex, she is my dream woman but, my mum threatened to kill herself if I marry someone from another state. She is from Enugu while I'm from Anambra. She introduced me to different good things, talking to her alone on the phone makes my day. She avoids me because she knows how I feel about her. She said she wishes I focus on my wife and kids but I have tried, nor working. I sincerely hope she marries someone that will value her and treat her like a Queen because she is everything and more. She introduced me to this blog too, I rarely comment but today, I felt so emotional remembering a lot. My marriage is just 4years and I'm already tired. My kids and what society will say is keeping me locked in it.
ReplyDeleteE, I know you might see this, I hope you meet someone that will value you and is deserving of your perfect being, I wasn't man enough for you, and I regret it. We would have celebrated our 10years of meeting this year. You are everything.
Wawu....dis story touch my ambilical cord....
Delete...e dey happen for china
DeleteAh Stella pls make this comment a chronicle, I'm excited for the discussions that will come with this. I don't blame our parents who wanted us to marry into families they know, cos after dating around and seeing strange human beings/characters/families, you understand our parents. But again, will family support alone carry a loveless marriage? Yes, connection marriages worked in 1950s, but does that mean it applies to our generation today? What if you meet someone who is good but you have no affection/desire toward them?
DeleteAlso sad about your ex who is still single and principled - pls ladies once their family or Mum no like you, waka and go. Not everyone has the strength or depth of love of Peter Okoye or Prince Harry, not everyone will fight for you.
It's really a serious problem with anambra men..u are all mummy's boy,u can't stand for yourselves..
DeleteSame with my ex,thank God I didn't force it,best decision ever..
Look how u are living in regrets just to please someone that won't live ur life for u..
Ur ex is even Igbo yet nothing,me non Igbo didn't even stand a chance with my ex,he saw me through school,loved me,was there for me and his mom said no,he is still unmarried but has baby mamas and still goes about asking about me..I just feel bad for him..all he does now is drinking before going home at night,m.
Same way my ex roommate in school was coerced into leaving her Enugu boo for an Anambra man she wasn't really in love with simply because her parent would rather have an in law from the same state with them, shiorr. I pray and hope she is truly happy with the choice they made her pick and not secretly regretting like you are now.
DeleteUncle stop lying, she will not open cocie for you. Dear sis, if you’re reading this don’t get emotional and open for him. He’ll use you, dump you and go back to his wife. Liars all of them
DeleteMy friends sister married an anambra man and they are from Benin ,I think it’s not all the Men in Anambra that stick to this rule of not marrying outside their tribe.poster find what makes u happy and go for it.If u don’t find Joy in ur marriage,take a walk pls,fuck society,fuck what people think,otherwise u will die a miserable and unhappy man.it might not be ur ex but u will find someone that will bring u happiness again.Next time be firm with ur decisions ur mama no for die if to say u marry another woman.all that was just threats and emotional blackmail.i wish u peace.
DeleteAwwww this so sad...maybe you guys can find your way back to each other someday😢
DeleteI do hear this about some parts of igboland. Like imo don't marry from anambra, anambra don't marry from other Igbo tribes, etc
DeleteI xpmt understand how a grown ass man will be coerced to marry someone he doesn't love.
DeleteNdi mummy's boys, I honestly think the lady dodged a bullet o.
Is this how mummy will be deciding who you marry,when you fuck, how many times you should fuck, how many children you should have etc.
20.35 stop being so crass, someone is here talking about an obviously emotional issue, you are talking 'cocie'😏
DeleteWhy do Anambra parents do this? My relationship also packed up because of this. I'm from Imo and his parents do not approve us getting married. We were NYSC sweethearts and by the time we got jobs and started talking marriage 5years had passed. He said he knew his parents may not approve but he was hoping to sway them when the time comes but it didn't work. So far all his siblings married from Anambra so no one to back him up though one of the marriages packed up after roughly one year and the other is suffering seriously. They just believe there's something superior about them. I pray his case doesn't end like yours because he can't seem to move on, he's always calling to tell me things like lovers and chips in missing me from time to time.I'm still trying to move on as well but it's not been easy at all. I hate where I am now. Sometimes I regret ever meeting him. I wish there was a more plausible reason for us not ending up together. The family invested a lot in his growth especially his mum so he doesn't want to go against them.
DeletePlease you people should not generalise. I am from Anambra and one of my brothers is married to an Abia girl while the second is getting married to an Imo girl and we are all happy with their choices.
DeleteI can imagine Anambra folks would not even consider marrying outside Igboland if among themselves Easterners they are still discriminating. How exactly would things like biafra ever work in the east?
Delete"I wasn't man enough for you, and I regret it"- I hope the ex sees this message and realizes it is a half truth. This grown male is not man enough for ANY WOMAN, neither his ex nor his wife.
DeleteMr, you reneged on an agreement with your ex hoping to string her along while you marry a "brand new" version that would be a higher ranking in your family/ village circle and now, you are emotionally cheating on an innocent woman and putting your marriage at risk. You could have headed to court or sought the support of your parish priest, a family elder or even your traditional ruler to help you convince your family but you thought you had a fool who would buy any excuse and stay on contraceptives for years while you make your own family. Who toasted your wife and took her on dates? Who was dancing, kissing and spraying money in your wedding video? Who consumated the marriage with a virgin on your honeymoon? Who lovingly went to the photo studio and shared couple photos online? Who impregnated your wife all the times she was pregnant? Please miss me with the lies. You personally wanted to marry someone closer to home. It just so happened that your parents hold the same views (as you were raised by them) and you found it was easier to blame your choice on them, making it easy to break the heart of a woman that loved and trusted you to marry her. Thank God your ex had the sence to cut her losses.
You knew from the beginning that your Mrs is not sexually experienced and you are still unwilling to be understanding of a woman who has gone through the challenges of childbirth more than once and has had her body change so much in a very short time. You have no empathy for the anxieties she may feel about being naked and intimate especially as a sexually naive woman. It may be easy for non-virgins to adjust to childbirth better but for someone with no experience having to go through weight gain and other changes, and the stress of trying to satisfy an experienced husband, all she may need is a kind man, a good man who will be willing to assure her and show understanding.
Didn't you know your wife was an introvert before marrying her? Are there not things that people who are different can plan to do at least once a week? How about watching a documentary with her on Friday night and then encouraging her to tag along with you to have your kind of fun on Saturday afternoon? Have you even considered how challenging it is to raise little children while their dad is busy on the phone chatting with his ex? How painful do you think it is for a woman who saved herself till marriage to discover that her horse is still chatting a former flame in the hopes for sex? You are a deeply wicked individual.
Madam ex, this is the same way this man would have been looking over the fence for women from his village had you married him, complaining about the difference between your cultures and how he is not being respected at home because he married an outsider. THIS IS A MAN THAT CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED, A MAN UNPREPARED TO LEAD OR BUILD A HOME.
I feel bad for the wife he wooed. She deserves far better. You better face front as Mr lover boy is no good.
Igbos should please stop this nonsense. I'm shocked to see this discrimination among igbos. How una go handle biafra if common marriage among una sef na war?
Delete...he who finds a wife finds a good thing...the man should find his wife for himself, even if you were introduced by someone your heart has to be sure you love that person....men stop allowing your mothers blackmail you emotionally, they wont live with the wife for you. After they will be claiming Christian mothers and going to one meeting or the other yet have absolutely no relationship with the Christ they claim to serve. never let anything limit you especially irrelevant restrictions like tribe and dialect that are fuelled by rubbish stereotypes. Honestly this comment makes me so angry...why will a grown man allow the mother manipulate him like this? if ya mama na catholic mother where you wan divorce? pls ask God to help you love her
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Biko men and women, if you are in a marriage that robs you of your peace of mind, biko pick race. Life is too short. All these verse quoting Christians in this blog, some never experience life. One day I will send my story to Stella, I just tire to write because it's too long. I was married for 23 yrs, was of the school of thought that God hates divorce, so we die there. Omo, I saw hell on earth. Tory long. Fasting and praying for a grown man to change and be a better person. Paying all the bills while he dey use him money do oringo. I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Calli g his gfs in my presence and beating me to boot. I was being the submissive wife, like the bible said . Giving him money, paying house rent, school fees, practically everything. I hid everything that was happening from family and friends because I am not supposed to involve a third party in my marriage. Sometimes he will tell me to leave, I go still tanda, marriage is for better for worse. Tory bokwu. When I finally left, he thought it was a joke, was still issuing threats and giving me conditions for him to take me back. It's 3yrs now and meeeen, am I grooving. I got my self confidence back. I am able to save money, my son will be leaving for Canada soon, life is good. He has not bothered to see his 2 sons since then.He doesn't want to contribute to their upkeep. According to him, boys will always look for their dad. I have changed their names to my dad's name. I will send both of them abroad to settle there. If the decide to connect with their father later, it's fine. It will entirely be their decision. But leaving was the best decision I made. Please nobody should go through life miserable, you owe yourself happiness. At point he took my car that he didn't buy and sold it, came back and told me he had sold my car��. And even chop the money sef. Story plenty.
ReplyDeleteU deserve all the happiness in this world, keep loving ur kids abeg😘😘
DeleteEewooooo eee, sorry about all you went through.
DeleteChai!!! Women dey suffer for marriage ooo!
DeleteWhere are all the team divorce is bad. I hope you are reading people’s experiences. I hope you can stay in terrible situations worse than this, since divorce is bad.
DeleteChai!
DeleteWomen dey try.
Hmmmm plenty stories in the world of marriage,while some single ladies are craving for it,most of the married ones are looking for a means of escape.while some people are enjoying their marriages,some people are not enjoying theirs.whichever way may God give us peace.amen🙏
DeleteOh God! Thank God for you ma'am.
DeleteYour endurance in the marriage might have given you your crown in heaven
DeleteAlmost the same story as mine but with fetishness added to it. It was a planned work together with his parents to rip me off financially and emotionally. My story is unbelievable and I don't have the strength to articulate all the experience. My greatest testimony was God taking me out together with my children as their plan was to collect my children and send me away empty-handed, for no offense. I repeat, my story is unbelievable. I entered the marriage with millions and left with millions of naira debt. The things I didn't lose are my life and children. I was a philanthropist but currently can't afford to help anyone for now. I have been praying to God to raise me back so I can continue to lift people up.
DeleteWell done Mama! 🙏🙏🙏
DeleteI'm so happy for you.
Please live life to the fullest!
Enjoy and my very best wishes to your sons.
My prayer is for Nigerian women who are SUFFERING in marriages to open their eyes and throw away fear and LEAVE if that marriage is not making you happy.
You were not born to suffer. Incase you do not know you are not a slave or servant. Nigerian men have NO regard for women. You are an accessory for them to fuck, that is the most they can come up with in their shrivelled minds. It's a patriarchal society.
Therefore you must always look out for yourselves.
Stop living in BONDAGE.
Sorry Anon 18.48 for what you passed through.
DeletePls call you send a Chronicle for the house so that we can learn from your experience. Thank you.
@Xhied I hope you are ok
22.27 God will surely lift you up again even better just believe.
DeleteDivorce stories are often not palatable; from the reasons to the final straw. But in my cousin's divorce, everyone is still wondering why they divorced. They are co-parenting their like they have no issues. The children stay with their mother but he has an unrestricted access to them anytime. They hardly see each other, but have an understanding that some unhappy married couples would be jealous of. And they are both doing well individually.
ReplyDeleteStaying in an unhappy, unhealthy and unpleasant marriage is walking through your adult life with sadness because you don't have any atom of peace.
Oge, their relationship is working now because they are no longer married. They no longer have to share same space everyday, nor put up with the reason they divorced in the first place.
DeleteIt's just good old friendship and boundaries now.
This post just makes me realize that so many people are managing their marriages cos of their kids,only their kids are keeping them going and married.Hmmm life.
ReplyDeleteMost people dont regret the divorce...they divorced for a reason!. Most people regret ever having met the ex!
ReplyDeleteOh My God! Regret ever meeting their exes? Wow!
DeleteI don’t regret my breakup,I feel relieved jeez I almost married a loafer who saw me as a cash cow and sworn to milk me dry,Omo my eyes cleared not too long and knew I can’t do this.
ReplyDeleteSome women like the idiot my brother married deserves all she’s getting and will get more. A useless mannerless girl that takes marriage advice from social media. Dumb ass bitch
ReplyDeleteIf you are unhappy in your marriage and you feel divorce will give you peace, please get divorced. People will talk and quote bible passages for you( you can see ANG, assistant heaven gatewoman above). Don't mind them o. Some of them are miserable in their marriage. The difference is that you had the courage to take a walk.
ReplyDeletelol..you people are funny. not everyone is miserable in marriage. Gods word can never be twisted. it will remain fact. GOD HATES DIVORCE. if people decide to leave a bad marriage it is left for them and God but we will not say God loves divorce when the bible clearly says so. we just say what the bible says. a lot of people start on the wrong foundation which is why they have such problems like domestic violence and some form of abuse. they see sign and still go into the marriage. but yes if you find out you can separate and if still no change then by all means go your separate ways.
DeleteI have been married three decades, a christian and these are my observations
ReplyDelete1.Marriage is a commitment made out of love with God as the 3rd and most important person
2. Love is a decision borne out of mutual feelings and based on "eros" and 'Agape" love
3.Not all marriages are made in heaven or founded on love as the foundation. An e.g a woman who told a guy she couldn't get pregnant only to show up with a 5 month pregnancy. The man's upbringing and the child makes him marry her and live together for less than a month before his suicidal feeling of being trapped with her makes him divorce, leave. He later meets, finds and actually falls in love with his choice, not his lust. If you got a spouse in a devious, conniving, machiavellian way, do not be surprised at the outcome. Marry based on money, tribe,age etc and it is not a marriage made in heaven but mediated by hellfire with any outcome.
4. Due to the shady foundation of many marriages, they really aren't counted as such by our maker who has principles on which to "find" a wife and to be "found" by a husband. Most "divorces" aren't divorces, they are situationship break ups. Marriage is not a piece of paper or ring just as living in a mechanic workshop will not turn you into a car.
5.God hates divorce, not the divorcees and understands that it is sometimes the way out when all else fails if the foundation was rotten anyway. Esther will be regarded by some sects as a sinner, God sees her as Ahasuerus's wife and she will be in heaven based on the bible.
6. God will not send anyone to hell because of divorce, marriage but only on whether they accept Jesus as Lord and saviour because in heaven there is no marriage, husband and wife. There is a reason there is no marriage in heaven.
Some have converted marriage and divorce to "works", like earrings, clothing etc and are substituting it for the finished work of Christ the saviour. It is "works", ladders cannot take you to heaven, even from the tallest Dubai building.
7. Do not stay in an abusive domestic violence ridden, or suicide-inducing marriage. You will be cloning children to become abusers. Children watch rather than hear. They are visual, hence the use of animation and cartoons to get through to them.
8. Many Nigerian extended families do not like successful marriages because they think they will lose "control" over their successful child or brother or sister, so many marital "ish" is spiritual and jazz can be from relatives or even exes. Satan hates a happy home. Before concluding on your marriage, rule out jazz and remote by praying and seeking God if your marital foundation in ok meaning you married out of pure love. Love IS the fulfilling of the law and covers all flaws. Jazzed marriages are common in a culture designed to favor marriages controlled by the extended family with different motives.
God bless you..
DeleteI don't know if I'm late on this,I was reading this while in church and water was dropping from my eyes.....I'm just weak and tired.I wish for so many things I'm not getting....in marriage for 10yrs....I fell like leaving....I'm just confused about life and wish everything to just come to an end .. honestly I'm sick tired and I don't know what to even do again...God help me.
ReplyDeleteHugs. I really pray help comes through for you in Jesus name Amen. Be strong, this too shall pass.
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