Hmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
MATURE ADVICE NEEDED
Hi guys. Please I have a very big issue at hand and I need matured advice only.
I am a lady in her mid thirties. Married with 3 kids. My husband is doing great career wise and I am doing beautiful business and career.
My kids are the best in all they do. We have a very big house and other properties in decent areas in Lagos and western Nigeria so I must say God as been faithful.
The issue is this. I had a non s#xual relationship with my family friend in the USA before I got married. I was in this relationship for like 5 years. We both allowed ourselves to date people. I left him shortly before marriage because he was not so serious with all his advances then or so I thought.
He was and his extremely shy. Truth is that I loved him deeply and he is probably the only person I have ever truly loved. My husband then my boyfriend knew about him.
Well. He also got married after I did and was really mad when I told him I was moving on. Married a white woman. Even after I got married , hardly a month goes by without me thinking of him. Like sometimes I wished I was patient.
Now don't get me wrong my husband is amazing. Like the best any girl can wish for. He worships me and guess what he forgives anything.
Recently, we reconnected again after years of occasional hello and hi. Now we talk everyday. He is doing great as well. Way richer than I ever imagined. He opened up to me that every time he thought about us he regrets his actions.
Now I am not that kind of a girl that's easily attracted to money cause I have a lot of it. Not proud. So now he wants us back and his ready to damn all the consequences. Even asking me to get pregnant so he can speed up the processes.
He is willing to accept whatever I give him. He is willing to meet my family (my whole family gunned for him back then). Now my issue is that I still deeply love this guy. I love my husband too kinda and most importantly i am scared of losing my kids.
Please note that this is not yet s#xual. Both himself and hubby are not in Nigeria.
A part of me wants to just have an affair. A part of me wants to end it all with both of them and just be single and rediscover myself. A part of me wants to divorce and go for my love. A part of me wants to just end it all with this guy and focus on my family (based on moral standard and what will people say but recall I said I have never been so fulfilled in my marriage despite all the blessings).
Now I am in a fix.
Please who has experienced this before. How did you navigate. Like I said very mature advice please. I have been married 8 years now. I am keeping calm in all this though. My husband is suspecting already. His asked me point blank who I am talking to cause I am changing.
Please help with experienced advice ONLY
Please end it with your EX and face your hubby and kids otherwise you will regret it if you go back to this ex.... It looks and sounds all rosy now but you wont last a year together before regret sets in....
Photo!, lmaooooooooo.
ReplyDeleteYour "enemies" have remembered you.
You are already cheating on your husband ooo.
Poor man.
It would end in tears pro max
DeletePoster ABORT MISSION!!!!! Block that ex on all platforms right away, delete his contact from your phone and memory. I repeat, delete it.
DeleteYou are going to regret your action if you go ahead to date him (whether marry or having an extramarital affair).
Do not jeopardise your future and happiness for an illusion you've built in your head.
DO NOT GO AHEAD, I AM SHOUTING O. Get on a detox right away, go on holiday with your friends (female) if you need to, do anything you can to forget about him and move on.
Woman!your ex is a destiny destroyer, please stop all communication you have with him and put an end to the so call relationship.
DeleteAnon15:07😂😂😂
DeleteProstitute wife period a part of you kill you ,while not the whole of you .
DeleteMature ko mature ni........
DeleteOjukokoro! Ojukokoro!! Ojukokoro!!!
This type of feelings doesn't just go away o trust me. And it will also land you in trouble. Ask the holy spirit to guard you!
DeleteDon't throw it forcefully it will turn you into a sadist. Consciously kill it gradually the way you gradually stop a child from sucking breast.
It baffles me that you are considering this!! What is wrong with you woman?
DeleteAfter having sex a few times, the scales will fall off your eyes.
It took another man to marry you for your shameless Ex to realise he lost a jewel??
Now he wants to break someone's home and you take him serious?? Will he want his wife to do that to him? What a callous fellow.
Will you also want your husband to do this to you?
Nothing like Ex in my dictionary. There must be a reason you are my EX. You either left me or I left you. If you left me, we are not enemies but we have nothing to say to each other. If I left you, you must have done something.
Your husband doesn't deserves this, your children don't. Why do you want to ruin your home for selfish reasons? What is in it for you?
Stop communicating with him, stop seeing him, block him everywhere, do not pick his calls. You are already taken.
If you are bored in your marriage, create fun with your husband, go on vacations,dates, movies, boat cruise etc.
If your Ex genuinely loves you, he will respect the fact that he lost you and let you be.
Ex from the pit of hell.
thank you oo, you can imagine the nonsense
DeleteCan y'all imagine? End it all with Ex and move the heck on please..You have been married for 8 years,got kids already and here i am asking what else do you still want again that putting you in a fix?? Stick to your hubby abeg...
ReplyDeleteYour** and is** missing above
DeleteWhen I read or hear some confessions like this one, i just know that some people have been so blessed to have never experienced terrible partners and heartbreaks. People who have would highly appreciate a man like your husband because they know that "nothing dey outside"
DeleteSome of you have been pampered & spoiled by life. Go and hear what people are going thru first, then u will kneel & bless God for your blessings. But no, you want to play Russian roulette with ur favoured life. It is well.
When we have no problem we keep looking for problem,seems your life is too perfect for you so you need problem.Wishing you luck.
DeleteExactly. *Sighs...... *
DeleteThe devil wants to spoil the good going for you.if you go with your ex, you will begin to have issues, problems and losing all of the good.i only ask that your children won't be affected by your LUST.because that's what it it.
ReplyDeleteYou need a mature slap, not advice.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣God bless you for this
DeleteSeriously,I was looking for Stella's head resetting slap below her red pen
DeleteWhere's that Stella's resetting slap when you need it most? 😂😂😂😂
Delete🙆😂😂
DeleteHonestly that's what she needs.
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteHonestly, some people have it all. Madam please don't use your hand and scatter your life. There is a reason you didn't end up with him.
DeleteDear Poster, pls disconnect from your ex. You are about to destroy your home! When your husband finds out, even if you guys remain married, he won't trust you ever again.
ReplyDeleteSee, pls focus on your marriage and leave this ex. How can someone even tell you to leave your husband, where's his wife? You'll loose your kids and regret this seriously if you continue with this ex.
Poster, destruction awaits you. You are flirting with destruction. It is what will end your marriage, your peaceful home and lovely kids, you are threading on. You had better cut ties with that ex and focus on your marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean you want to end it with your husband and the ex to rediscover yourself? Are you mentally okay? You definitely need a recalibration slap.
The grass always seems greener on the other side, until you get there. You are giving the devil a foothold in your life. Cut out all communication with this ex, and focus on building (rebuilding) your relationship with your hubby.
ReplyDeleteYou left a 5 year relationship for a reason, perhaps he was not ready, or he was undecided. What does this say of this man? He doesn’t care about his wife’s feelings, doesn’t care about your husband or kids, so long as he get what he wants to satisfy an emotion that has proven time and time again to wane over time? He is not trustworthy neither is he loyal or empathetic. I dare say he has no regard for family values as well.
You have a lot to loose, don’t drink his kook-aid
Well spoken. At this point, I will say have an affair and move on. But you're not even smart. You'll be caught. Worse still, that guy will be vindictive and make sure he destroys your marriage. Stop talking to him. Whenever you get into his city, you can call him up and gbensh him wella. In your own hotel oo. But the problem with people like you is that yall are weak . Always catching feelings and you'll get caught.
DeleteLast last. Giving your kids some form of stability or satisfying your cravibgs?. Choose one.
Kool-aid I meant
DeleteAnon 16:28, that is bad advice, if she wants to enter street, she should kindly divorce her husband.
Delete"I have houses, great wages, great kids,
ReplyDeletegreat career, I have, I have, I have.."
Girl, you lack one thing and that is the most important;
You lack character; The Jesus character, the fear of God. If you do not have the Salvation that Jesus gives, it is all vanity.
As you can see, you are on a trip to make a shipwreck of your marriage and eternity.
The one leading you in this vain trip is the devil; that deceiver. The rope
which which he is dragging you is your flesh; the desires of the flesh.
Cut off that rope in fasting and self discipline and that is after you
have asked Jesus into your life.
If not, once you "chop" that forbidden fruit like Adam and Eve, your eyes go clear. Na guilt go crush you first even before your marriage
and all crashes.
Yes ooo, good you told her.
DeleteYour feelings are valid.
ReplyDeleteYour choices are yours.
But what looks rosy from afar,
is usually not.
Love is more than emotions.
Poster, if something is making you feel unfulfilled in your marriage, why don't you try to figure out what that is before jumping ship? It sounds like you never got closure for yourself with the ex and now that he has appeared when you feel something is missing, you think it's him. Are you sure he is what's missing or are you using memories to fill the gap? Remember, people are not the same across seasons and time.
DeleteTry this exercise that I used to avoid this temptation. You must be honest with yourself though. Take a piece of paper and write down the good and bad qualities of the ex. Then write what you liked about him and what you hated. Now do the same with your husband. If the bad for ex is more than good, you will have evidence of what made you leave. As for your husband, what you reveal to yourself may help you appreciate or dislike him. Ask yourself what you want or are looking for. Is there something your husband used to do that he stopped doing and you miss or need?
I'm not a fan of people staying where they don't want to be. But you must be very clear and make the decision using facts and actions, not emotions. If you see your marriage is worth it, talk to your husband and share what you know, not feel, is missing. Let both of you work towards it together. Catching feelings is very easy when we are missing something. Instead of addressing it, we use something else to fill the void. I pray you make a decision that is best for all concerned and that gives you unshakeable peace. Remember, when people show you who they are the first time, believe them. Don't give them a second chance to hurt you with your permission.
Kikikikikiki life has not yet dealt this poster an indisputable blow so she wants to induce it. Poster na beg I dey beg, let sleeping dogs lie.
DeleteSo this is how village people work?
ReplyDeletePoster you will lose the two men, bet it with me. Sha bring in another chronicle when it happens, let's all laugh.
He is ready to damn all consequences to be with a married woman 😂😂😂😂😂😂, person wey wan chop clean mouth, as per say he never chop before. Mumu. Be there encouraging him until it happens, your eyes will then become clear.
But you sound like all is not well with you.
ReplyDeleteLike a teenager feeling trapped and want to end it all for self rediscovery? Chaos is what you seek and I hope you don't find it if truly your life and all is good.
She just wants to be choked while she screams deeper Daddy.
DeletePoster, travel and gbensh a tourist make your body rest abeg
Mid life crisis maybe.
DeleteMadam what is wrong with you biko? How can you have something so beautiful and blessed and want to ruin it with your hands?
ReplyDeleteIs this boredom or what because your village people are seriously on your case. End every communication with you ex now, like right now!!!!
Remember the grass isn't always greener in the side.
Abeg o. You better face your husband and children. I don't see anything good coming out of that relationship o. You have even talked about your being a good person.Enjoy what You have.
ReplyDeleteThere was a reason you didn't marry your ex. Both of you were not made to be together. Focus on your husband. You said he loves and forgives. Do you know if your ex is like that. Be careful. What you have at hand is better
ReplyDeleteThis is a case of insatiable desire and lust.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you wrote up there, evidently, you have gold in your possession but your lust will not afford you an opportunity to appreciate it.
Watch out sis, do not allow your lust for your ex cost you your marriage.
👌👌
Delete👍👍👌
DeleteTrue 👌👌
DeleteMadam, na mid life crisis dey worry you, once that non sexual becomes sexual, yaa eye go clear then regret go enter yaa bodi. Just focus on ur family, you will be alright.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are already emotionally cheating on your husband. You think you still want him because you are not with him. If you get back together with him, you will then realise he's not all that and begin to crave for your husband.
ReplyDeletePlease face your marriage and stop allowing the devil beat drum on your head. You chose your husband 8 years ago, choose him today again.
Fuck it hunnay move on with your one true love give him the jar! Fuck your life up,give your children a million reasons to dislike you..let your husband know that he's an idiot for ever you trusting since your infatuation is your doom! Gather your villages and kinsmen have a wedding, celebrate! Dance, merry oh dear celebrate I tell ya! Celebrate your stupidity, ungratefulness and immaturity it's worth it. Then you'd know why they say Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad.
ReplyDeleteOn a flip side it might end well for you at least you'd be happy but what do I know.
Madam, you put up yourself in this "fix"
ReplyDeleteYou called "God faithful" because of material acquisition, who robbed you of the truth about Jesus?
He said that a person's life does not depend on the things she possesses.
Your problem is the lack of Christ in your life; yes.
That is why your life is in Crises in spite of your acquisitions.
So the ex-man is no longer shy; he is "damning all the consequences" to get into your pant and once he ejaculates, all these ego trip will dissipate.
You will be forlorn; no husband, no ex, no kids, no Christ still; the one that matters most.
Begin be re-discovering yourself as one that Jesus loves and died to save.
The evil one is out to destroy you.
😰😰😰😰
A bird at hand is worth ten in the bush.
ReplyDeletePlease, and please focus on your marriage.
Hmmmm, you're lucky to be loved by your husband and all the blessings too, what else makes one fulfilled please? I'm not fulfilled too in my marriage but the reason is I noticed mine doesn't love me, even when I do good it irritates him,yet no money,no decent life. But I'm staying because of my kids and him being a pastor.
ReplyDeleteMy dear since you are sure of your husband's love, please stay there o, try and find out why you're not fulfilled even with your close to perfect home, discuss with your husband and trust God for the best.
Hello Anon…I must really commend your patience. Sumbo 2face baby mama, you will be glad to know she married a pastor. What I am trying to say is if you are not happy, please leave. Nobody has the right to deprive you of your happiness alright. Take the kids and leave. Who cares if he is a pastor uhn? when he doesn’t bring peace to the table.
Delete@17:13
DeleteWhy do some of you just set out to scatter what God joined together; did she tell you she needs you advice?
She says she is staying, you are telling her to leave?
You have God to contend with for working with Satan to scatter God's home.
Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
ReplyDeleteLong throat is all I see here. Madam you better face your marriage . Your hubby is nice and all. No issue of domestic violence or neglect .
ReplyDeleteYou want to use your hands and destroy this happy family God package for you.
Stupid love without considering your kid and all.
He's become an idol for you. Block it. You didn't end with him, let it go. It is not worth scattering your life for. Life is a sacrifice and you already sacrificed what you had.
ReplyDeleteDon't sacrifice your children and your life for this. You will leave regretting it.
All I see is that white woman using her gun to blast two foolish heads.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteExactly
Why don't people just appreciate what God does for them?
ReplyDeleteWhatever we advise you, your mind is set already. Cos you just said your husband noticed you're changing.
Whatever love you had for you Ex should have died within 8 years. Haba nau.
If you leave your husband, you will not only scar your kids for life, but also your husband.
At the end of the day, you may lose out on both ends.
Stay where you are, and you will find that fulfillment soon.
Lack of contentment can lead to destruction. Maybe you need to take up humanitarian work and help the needy. This will fulfill you better than gbenshing ya ex. Lord knows you have the money. Maybe you didn't experience "fun" in your youth, and your ex makes you feel those rushes of hormones and butterflies in your belly, all fleeting things. Maybe arrange to do fun things with your husband instead. Don't goan throw everything God has blessed you with in the trash cos you wanna commit adultery...........
DeleteHonestly I feel sad reading this chronicle. Some people are programmed for disaster and loss before appreciate the beautiful gifts God gives them. Unless your husband is abusing you I see no reason why you can't control this childish lust. Sha don't lose your home or do what your children will cuss you out for an avoidable mistake. By being morally upright, you're not doing anyone a favour except yourself and I will advise you to strive to one.
ReplyDeleteit's natural but don't give in to temptation like this, what I usually do is to confide to any priest always until the temptation subsidies. it has helped me reduce addiction to porn and sex
ReplyDeleteIt is not natural. Is she a teenager that loves without using her senses? What is there to love in a man that didn't take you serious when you were single and available but now pretends to want you at all cost now that you are married?
DeleteWho is fooling who?
Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteU don't get it..
U have it all,ur home,kids, husband,who loves you, what else are looking for?
There are relationships that's not meant to be,no matter the love and energy..
I still don't get what u want..
Do u think u really know this man? someone u have not lived with..hmmm
I wish u all the best but act wisely.
Na now day break wey you wan throw caution into the wind . You should have done that by not getting married to your hubby talk more of 3 kids in the picture.
ReplyDeleteMadam tell that thing that is pushing you that you are not available . Go for a vacation if you want . But don't you dare live your marriage 🚶🚶
Hot E slap for you. Nonsense
ReplyDelete👌👌
DeleteDon't mind this woman. "You love your husband kinda", Helloooo! Better Face your family since you have moved on, cut ties with him if talking to him Will always put you in a bad mood. Every married woman has a person they loved in the past but it's all stories once they are married. Don't throw your beautiful family in the mood. You will regret this if you eventually go to him. He wasn't serious when you were not married and what makes you think he will be serious now.
ReplyDeleteIf you husband is good to you, there is no need to look outside. Lose this man's number and block him from your life. Whatever reason he had for the marrying you the first time, still exist and will come up later. He misses you because his marriage to this white woman is probably not working and now he longs for what could have been. Don't be tempted. It will never be worth it.it is already beginning to affect your marriage. Look out your husband everyday and mention one reason you love him and affirm that love daily. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
ReplyDeleteGuyman wants to taste the cookies he didn't taste before.
DeletePoster, your ex is a very selfish man just for entertaining the thought that you should leave your husband and children because he is 'ready' now. Please run away from such a person. He has zero morals.
ReplyDeleteAbsolute zero morals. No man of integrity will suggest what he's suggesting.
DeleteThis!💖
DeleteThe wonder is that poster is considering it. A very good bad man is hungrying her, lol.
DeleteMadam, the grass is not greener on the other side, it is greener where it is watered.
ReplyDeleteYou village people have remembered you.
ReplyDeleteGuys, ye cannot make a modest woman out of a hoe, make una shine una eyes.
😂🤣🤣😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYour village people are drinking ZOBO with your destiny... receive sense
ReplyDelete😁😁😀😅😂🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 Village people don suffer. Poster you wan do yourself by yourself.
DeleteDear madam
ReplyDeletePlease, what exactly do you want? What is the color of your problem? Because we do not understand, maybe you can help us understand
You have a beautiful home but you want to use your own hands to push yourself out.
Your husband is not giving you issues at home,why are you looking for issues for yourself?
Her life is too quiet so she wants to shake things up. Na wa ooo..........
DeleteLol... I’m so sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteYou have the kind of life some people are dry fasting for at MFM and you’re here looking for excitement.
Well. You want mature advice so here it is.
You know how Nigerians disdain people from western countries when they agitate for ‘nonsense’ and we say it’s because “dem don chop belleful?”
That is your situation.
You don’t really have serious problems that’s why you’re wondering what could have been.
The devil is on a warpath to destroy marriages and yours is a target.
You swore an oath, a covenant, in front of God and man to be with your hubby till death, didn’t you?
Please know that God does not take covenants lightly ( Ecclesiastes 5,4-6 ).
If not for decency, your children, morals or for your hubby who didn’t hurt you in anyway, then, for the sake of not offending God, stay away from this temptation.
Stop talking with this man, the constant communication makes you develop feelings.
Focus on your marriage and pray that God restores and revives whatever spark is lacking therein.
Thank you ooo 15:51. Hmmmmmm..........
DeleteYou can never satisfy a woman you will only die trying.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, those feelings and every other butterfly in your belly will fade too quickly for your Ex if anything happens to your beautiful family!
ReplyDeleteYour Ex knows he has nothing to loose if he comes in between you and your hubby, you are the one who will loose the most!
Delete everything about him and face your family!
God gave you a wonderful man and beautiful children 🙏
I hope you make the right decision.
He had his opportunity to be with you and marry you, he did absolutely nothing. He allowed you date other men while you were with him. All he wants is sex, he regrets the fact he never had sex with you. Don't destroy your marriage because you think you love him, you don't, if you did you wouldn't have dated other men while you two were datinɠ. The truth is we go after what we can't have. No rational man will ask you to leave your marriage for whatever reason. Stop chatting with him and move on with your life, stay with your kids. Don't allow self deception do you in . Now you realised you don't really love a man you married eight years ago because of another woman's husband. Your chronicle is childish and irrational. 20 years from today what would you tell your daughter if she finds herself in the same situation that you deliberately induced because of your weak heart
ReplyDeleteYou really think your EX loves you or just wants to make you as unhappy as he is in his own marriage. He has no respect for you because if he does he would think of telling you to get pregnant and just follow him that is a sign of disrespect. The fact that you are thinking of a one time affair means you really just want to have sex with him and see what you missed in 5 years friendship and 8 years apart its just sex. You opened a loophole for him and he is about to make a canal out of it, shut it down all the fantasy you ha e in your head will end you in the red sea. Go and meet your husband no one is perfect. We all love you and hope you do what is right
ReplyDeleteWould have shared one experience now but no strength to type. Bottom line, you'll regret if you continue with your ex. Take it from this ID.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible says draw nearer to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.
ReplyDeleteWe humans find it difficult to appreciate whatever comes to us on a platter of gold. I believe if you need to toil in tears for the good things the faithful God has bestowed on you, you will appreciate them better.
I advise you cut off all ties from this man, fast and pray fervently for God to break whatever soul-ties you have with him(soul ties could be formed without sex too) and focus on your husband.
Remember too that most men and women have that one person they loved very much but ended up not marrying for one reason or the other. Imagine how the world would be if everyone decides to dump their partners for an ex.
Refuse to turn yourself to a willing tool in the hands of the devil pls, you will surely regret it if you don't.
Smiles
ReplyDeleteI truly understand what you are feeling right now, having different kinds of feeling.
First let me ask you a question
Have you ever asked your self why you are unfulfilled?
From your write up it seems you never really open your self emotionally for your husband,a part of you have always yarned for your Ex.Hmmm
Please genuinely answer these questions;
Are you suffering or lacking anything in your marriage?
Is your husband abusing you either emotionally or physically?
Does your husband loves you?
Do you cherish your marriage?
Forget what people will say,do you really love your kids and what to see them happy? Because this step you are about taking will definitely affect them.
What reason is your Ex giving for wanting to leave his wife for you
My advice is for you to open heart genuinely to your husband.
You feel unfulfilled because you haven't opened your self to be filled with your husband's love.
OPEN YOUR SELF TO HIS LOVE!!
Trust me that vacuum you feel will be filled up
You have a man that loves you!!
Don't loose him.
Don't leave your marriage for this Man.You have never been in a closed relationship with your EX ,so I can even say you don't even know much about him.
A man that truly loves you will not want you to tear something this beautiful down,he should be Happy for you.
Finally if you will heed,I will advise you to disconnect, permanently any form of communication and interaction with this man, because whether you like it or not you have started cheating on your Husband,and such can cause trust issue in your marriage that is if you truly cherish the marriage.
Na now day break you to act stupid . That kpekus wey hungry for another man. Kpekus madness you dey call love.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣
DeletePoster, do not lose the beautiful family chasing lust or fantasties you think you have for your ex. Yes I said it... What you feel for ex is either fantasy or lust. It ain't real and your village people need you to cross over to your ex before your eyes will clear. Cut all communications with your ex and face the husband that are some people's prayer point, already given to you by God on a platter. Love and care for your beautiful family. Remember the grass that looks greener on the other side is not always real. If you need few days to cool off... by all means take a short solo vacation. Come back refreshed and love the beautiful family and blessings God has given you. Don't be ungrateful... you hear? I wish you well.
ReplyDeletePoster I was once in your shoes… same narrative. I know that empty and lost emotional feeling. My advise: DONT LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE’. You might not realize it, your ex is selfish and has no regard for marriage. Yea he doesn’t! He didn’t regard you then, hence his unwillingness to COMMIT to a RELATIONSHIP with you. He is unwilling to COMMIT to a marriage with his wife. He won’t COMMIT to a MARRIAGE with YOU. He has a pattern that if you want ti be honest, he isn’t a CONSIDERATE man. He doesn’t care about YOU he only cares about HIS FEELINGS. What is love? Love isn’t just a sexual emotion- it is KIND, FORGIVING, PATIENT, LONG-SUFFERING, CONSIDERATE, etc. MARRIAGE is hardwork, as you already know. It only takes a selfless man to be a good husband and father. Poster, your EX is NOT any of the things I listed. You are goi g though a phase in marriage most women go through. Maybe the sex isn’t great with your spouse, maybe him living away from home is making you LONELY. But DIVORCE isn’t a solution. Worse still DIVORCING your husband to date an EX that is SELFISH isn’t a good idea at all! Your EX WONT COMMIT to MARRY YOU. He WONT MARRY you. you will have PASSIONATE SEX with him for a while and the feeling will FIZZLE OUT. You will live a life of REGRET. Trust me
ReplyDeleteListen to this advice and abort mission,I repeat abort mission
DeleteApt!! Anon 16:27
DeleteLove isn't about the many butterflies in your stomach it is about the sacrifices you can make for each other.
Poster if this ex was poor would have develop this feeling for him. Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteHelp me ask her. He's dangling an appetizing carrot 🥕 in front of her, and when she throws away what she has to reach for his carrot 🥕, he'll hastily snatch it back and she'll be left with nothing.
DeleteHis only regret now is the fact that he dated you for 5 years without sleeping with you. Now he has come back for his pound of flesh . On your own part , you also feel you missed out on sex with him. This whole scenario you painted is not about love. It's strictly about the sex you both didn't have.
ReplyDeleteIf not that I hate adultery, I would have said you should have sex with him to quench the lust in you ,but I hate it and would not advise you to do it.
Madam Biko delete everything about your ex and focus on your family!
I am a married man and I have done some stupid things which I regret. But any man that will willfully and knowingly break another man's home is not a good man. Let's even assume for a minute that both of you have valid feelings and love for each other. But a man that will not consider the children and other factors involved in breaking up your home, is not a good man.
ReplyDeleteI understand what you are feeling and going through, I have been there before. Trust me after you sleep with that man and exhaust this emotional urges you are feeling now, your eyes will clear.
You are just going through midlife crises. It happens to even the best of us. Just imagine if everyone gives in to whatever emotions they feel, just imagine.
That man is a wicked man.
There was this movie I saw way back. It was about a lady and a guy. They were deeply in love. Later on, the man (a soldier) went to war. He promised the lady that once the war was over, he'll come and wed her.
ReplyDeleteShe waited and waited. The war ended and other soldiers came back. Some stayed back because a new barracks had been opened over there. The man also stayed back. The lady sent messages to him. He replied that she should wait. That he wants to make more money and come and marry her in grand style. This went on for three years.
Meanwhile, the guy's elder brother had always loved this lady. He told his mother about it. The mother went to the girl's parents and told them that her senior son wanted to marry thier daughter. They replied that it was in the hands of the girl. The girl was consulted. She thought about it for a few weeks and agreed.
Fast forward two years, they had a son. Then lover boy came back. Demanding for the lady to leave his brother and come marry him. He offered to pay for the divorce proceedings. Everywhere was tensed. The husband wept continuously every night. He really loved his wife. It was all in the girl's hands. The family called her and asked her her decision. First they asked her if she still loved the soldier. She said yes. "Will you go back to him?" She laughed and said, "Go back to who?" "I'm married. I love my husband and son. I may not love my husband as much as I loved my ex, but I have an obligation to him. I'm sticking with him for life".
Guess what the soldier did? He simply shrugged and left. Never came back. The husband went on his knees with tears before his wife. He was all over her with kisses.
Why the story you may ask? I answer with the following questions.
1. Why didn't this guy marry you in the first place?
2. Does he love you? I can beat my chest and tell you that he is coming back not because of love but because his marriage is not favouring him. And he knows you love him. He'll still leave you. When the storms come.
3. Why does he have the guts to come and try to break a stable home? You gave him green light!
Listen. From experience, let me tell you what will happen. If you leave your husband and marry that man, he'll not trust you. He'll say in his heart "If she can break her marriage to be with me, then she can also leave me if she finds someone better". The union may never even last.
What will you tell your children when they grow up? What will you say made you divorce their father? You see, you are very selfish and inconsiderate. If you are single, no problem! You can break as many relationships as you want. After all, your happiness is paramount. But as a married woman, you can't just wake up and take decisions casually.
I don't want to go into the consequences of hurting your husband. Because you see that one, you'll pay dearly for hurting an innocent man who did you no wrong but love and marry you.
Now bring God into equation. The only ground for divorce is infidelity. And even at that there's room for forgiveness. Has your husband cheated? No. So before God, you'll be living in perpetual sin.
Its not as green on the other side as you think. Madam your tongue to count your teeth. Stay with your husband. Grow your love for him. Love is simply commitment and trust not butterflies in the stomach.
Thank you ...you said it all....very selfish and inconsiderate human,,your husband is doing well, you have houses in naija....you have 3 children ..that I am crying and begging for God's mercy to conceive.. This is what my mother will say...give a dog meat....its eyes will still be on excreta..you are not satisfied with what you have...lack of contentment with what you have is your problem ...A BIRD AT HAND IS BETTER THAN 10 IN THE BUSH...YOU BETTER FACE YOUR MARRIAGE and yes I am shouting....
DeleteYou are on a journey you'll regret for the rest of your life if ou go back to your ex or any of that sort. Cut off that guy and face your family!!! Don't be naive!
ReplyDeleteNo human relationship is adequate to human desire. You can never get all you want from one man/woman. Don't allow your emotions overwhelme you and cloud out your rationality. Please focus on your kids and husband, your ex is a distraction. If you leave your matrimonial home for your ex , he will never have reasons to trust you . You left your husband for him, you can also leave him for another man
ReplyDeletePremium tears loading...Poster,kindly transfer all those emotions for this ex to your husband,block him on all platforms and concentrate on your husband and family.Don't make decisions based on volatile emotions and spoil what you have built all these years.Had I known will not be your portion oo.
ReplyDeleteI bet this Ex does not love you because if he does, he would respect the fact that some things were/are not meant to be no matter how hard we try. God made you part ways, so be it!
ReplyDeleteJust cut off every form of communication with him everywhere and focus on your God, beautiful home and marriage.
Okay you didn't say it neither did you hide still. You echoed it loud enough for us to understand but in an improper way.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are going through is normal for everyone who got married 'only because' to the available that became your desire.
I would have argued that this was written by someone who got married between her 20 to 25 years, but to have had a 5years with an ex and capping up an 8 years with your husband gives us 11 years, meaning even if you got married at 18 years, you would be 29 years. But I believe you are in your early 30s.
Back to the issue, you are unfulfilled in your marriage only because you missed your single life - when your freedom is not so judged. You have a deep-rooted sense of unfulfillment, great than you imagined it. A feeling that there is not enough love, affection, trust, respect, or other crucial components for a satisfying connection. By nature, as a woman you are more connected to your emotions. You may also have an unsatisfactory 'fun' life or what is known as fun fantasies, and that's the motivation to always look for ways to develop new relationships or rekindle old ones. A more increasingly attraction to other people.
The magic ratio in your marriage is ruptured, not from the surface but from your subsubconscious. Creating room for a wholesome contempts, so your mind is leading you back to your escape fantasies. You appear like someone who doesn't need to stay married, so you are going against your soul urge by staying married.
I'm not judging you but you can either try working with a therapist or play with fire by going ahead to excite your freedom which marriage has caged. Or take the difficult option, let go your marriage. Because for you to be unfulfilled in a good marriage, it only means one thing; you've started working around your marriage instead of with it.
Note: I had to use my cousin ID to make this comment.
When you don't have any issues in life, this is what happens.You create one for yourself.Poster people are looking for one tenth of what you have and you are there looking for a way of creating problems for yourself. Weldone.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing strange in your story,it happens to a lot of women, but please let it end in your thought, focus on your family, you guys were never meant for each other, its not love but pure attraction, and the grass always seems greener at the other side, please don jeopardize your children's joy for his.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster Please Abort Mission And Face Your Family. Do Not Be Deceived By Your Ex.
ReplyDeleteWhat Other Fulfilment Are You Looking For, After You Stated All These About Your Home And Hubby?
Please Be Wise and Face Your Family.
Your ex might not be the same person you left 8years ago,he's not worth the beautiful marriage you have now. Think again,and retrace your steps.
ReplyDeletePoster, face your family and forget about your ex.
ReplyDeleteDon't lose on both sides.
I pray enemies will not laugh on your matter.
Focus on your husband and kids.
Seek God for fulfilment, it is only God that can make someone fulfilled in life.
Peace of God will not leave you.
Poster read all the advice/comments,,no one supported you,,please be wise and shine your eyes.
ReplyDeleteYour EX wants TO destroy your marriage 💑 and destroy your kids future, please block 🚫 and don't even think of sleeping with him to avoid Hard I know or Regret,,he's not worth it okay...
Love your hubby more and forget about that destroyer called Ex.
Remain focus okay 👌
U are right , no one supported her, poster my sister was unsatisfied in her marriage and she wa a heating with a man who has a baby mama, her husband hacked her phone and caught them ended the marriage , in as much as the husband is a dickhead, she is filled with shame and regret right now as she doesn’t even want anyone to know what happened to her marriage ,now the guy she was cheating with left her and went back to his baby mama.. when that guy sleeps with u he will get tired, that guy wasn’t going to marry or appreciate my sister cos in his mind he would be like if U can cheat on your husband u can cheat on me..no man would take a married woman cheating on her husband with him serious … he would sleep with u till he is satisfied and insult u that u are an adulterer , be wise and kill this fantasy, I have been there like many women but we killed it … grass isn’t greener on the other side ooooo.. u would regret this and be put to shame. A man would tell u anything just to sleep with u,many women that towed this part regretted it as they were left high and dry
DeleteAye o ma nii get e! STAY WITH YOUR HUBBY PLEASE!!!
ReplyDeleteStupidity is calling to you, please by all means answer it,a few years down the line, you qwil realize it was all an ILLUSION 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteHe came to destroy your family. Avoid him, run from him, delete him in your life and focus on your husband o. A word is enough for the wise o. You will soon see the real man when he destroys your family.
ReplyDeleteSo so so so so true.
Delete1milion % truth.who e no happen to no go understand
O da npe Ori poster yi ti daru pata pata
ReplyDeleteDo not leave your husband and children, I repeat do not leave your marriage. Cut the guy off and enjoy what God has blessed you with.
ReplyDeleteNo use your hand destroy your life oo.
Dear poster, you need to know one thing, that love you think your ex has for you is only in your imagination. It is not real but you won't believe it until you get into that affair and things unfold.
ReplyDeleteOne thing we women must learn to do is to play with men the same way they play with us. I thought my ex was madly in love with me. It took another affair with him for my eyes to open. Guy was only there cos of what he thought he could get from me. He showed his true colours and feelings when it wasn't forthcoming and to say i blown off my rockers is putting it mildly. I could have sworn he could die for me. Lol
My dear, if you need to fuck him to calm your titties, go ahead and do so. But your kids and marriage still means anything to you, nne, better forget him. That love you think you are seeing there is only an illusion. It does not exist.
Don’t mind d mumu, she no know say men get sweet mouth and would tell u anything to sleep with u, poster go with him and see how u would get shame in return.. what kind of man will drag u out of your marriage just cos he likes u? If he truly loves u he will never say u should leave your marriage for him
DeletePoster, it's like devil is playing ten ten on your head ooo.
ReplyDeleteThat your ex is not serious o. Biko which one is get pregnant for him first. If he really loves you, why does he want you to get pregnant first. Also does he have kids with his present wife.
My dear, please cast and bind him and anything that looks like him
Please i beg you to follow stellas advice and nothing more.sometime like this happened to me but the worst is that the stupid love of my life i got pregnant for abounded me and the child even relocated without telling me.it may look rosy but the ending is disastrous..
ReplyDeletePlease abort the mission..its not healthy for you ..dont be a victim like me...the same love of your life will mock you later trust me...
3 things:
ReplyDelete1. Watch out for patterns,they almost never lie. Your ex was/is not the type to commit himself in relationships. I would like to push it further to say he has no real regards for relationships! Wake up and smell the coffee, it's in the details; the way he treated you when you were dating, it's in the way he's treating his wife right now and it will be in the way he'd treat you, if you eventually leave your husband for him!
2. Anybody, (doesn't matter who it is) you lose contact (I'm referring to total break in communication) for over 6 months, treat as a stranger (thread cautiously), until you learn them anew. Nobody really stays the same with time. In this journey of life, it would be a great disservice to yourself, to think that that man you were 'in love' with then, is still the same person 8 years later. You'd be surprised that the 'fire' that got you excited in him then, no longer exists when you are in proximity with him. There might be habits he has dropped or picked that you probably wouldn't like. Distance is fuelling the intrigue for you.
3. How you are feeling right now is valid! The problem is you are scratching the surface not the core. What you need is a 🔥, an excitement, your life is probably routine to you right now, you want something, you don't even know what it is. You are doing the 'what if? thingy' If you date this ex or even marry him, in no time, you will be back to this feeling. Look beyond the surface and find the core.
...you're better off without this ex! There's nothing there for you, your family needs you. Depending on the emotional maturity of your husband, tell him everything!
I just learned a lot from this, thank you!
DeleteParenting is about sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteYour children will grow up with hurt in their heart for you, knowing you gave up their beautiful family for your own selfish interest
Poster stay where you are are , please do not allow lust to destroy your happy home. Your husband hasn't treated you bad or abuse you so why can't you sty faithful to him and allow your ex staff faithful to his wife
ReplyDeleteBody dey sweet you make you test another price , madam na just one month your eyes go clear. If that your ex been love you him for marry you before your husband come.
Married people make una stay one lane.
I just pity you Madam because you will regret it
ReplyDeleteThis life no balance at all o..
ReplyDeleteMadam, do you think this your yanky man will trust you when you marry him? If he does not respect your marriage to another man, do you think he will respect the one between you and him? Do you think he will make sacrifices and love your children like their biological father? When you answer these questions, then come back to us.
ReplyDeletePlease, my people, if you don’t respect marriage, don’t marry, stay single and have fun.
Abeg face your home...end it with your ex..
ReplyDeleteWhat would she tell her children? Simple. Their Father was a bad man.
ReplyDeleteWhy is she thinking this way? To leave even both Ex and husband to rediscover self. She dated before marriage. But she does not feel she played the field wide enough.
Would she have considered the Ex if he was deported to Nigeria and is squatting with his primary school friend who is a pay-as-you-work artisan? She knows the answer.
Lady, if your husband wrote this chronicle and you saw it before it was sent to Stella, would you have advised him to go to his Ex? So you could go rediscover yourself?
You say you are not proud. But the heart is very deceptive. You desire for your Ex is one of the hallmarks of the proud - Why can't I get what I want?
Know this: You cannot get it all. Your marriage, children, business and finances are picture good by your narration. Start learning to let well enough alone and let God take control.
No marriage is perfect. All marriages are works in progress. Focus on your marriage. Leave your Ex to focus on his marriage. If there is something still lacking in your marriage after your best efforts, put it in the hands of God. Look for "the Serenity Prayer".
But after all said today, if you choose to go with your Ex, do all possible to find out how to go with minimal damage to your husband so he can have at least 95% what he has given you left to give to the next woman, though there are women who will be satisfied with only 20% of what you say he has given you in marriage.
Wisdom will not abandon you.
#TheLegalTrainee
My mum is on this table at the moment, I will send in my chronicle.
ReplyDeleteShe wants to.leave, to be with her ex...she's in her 50's.
Na wa ooo. Please send in your chronicle. This is serious.
DeletePoster, I will advise you not to leave your marriage. Your story is just exactly like mine but the difference is that I stayed and gave this ex of mine the insults of his life. Why did he not marry you when you were still in your prime, it’s now that you have turned second hand. Your ex is manifesting himself as the angel of light. My sister, block that dog of an ex. If he sees another ex, he will dump you and follow her.
ReplyDeleteI think at the core of it, humans are always discontent no matter how blessed their lives are. The grass is greener where you water it, your husband loves you work on your marriage. Your spouse can't fill all the void in your life, get couple therapy too. Your ex is unserious, don't join in his foolishness
ReplyDeleteUse ur hand to kill urself by urself..then come back and tell Stella and her fans that you are in trouble and u need help.if am ur husband,i will run Intel on u and if I know whats up, I will put u on emotional torture for at least a Yr. nonsense
ReplyDeleteIllusions of pleasure that will lead to pains, tears, lost marriage, unforgiving children and regrets. I wonder why Stella didn't give you a resetting slap! Don't be selfish, you have no regrets in your marriage, you have an amazing husband and family like you said, why cause them undue emotional pains and stress because of your selfishness that won't last.
ReplyDeleteYour Ex is your Ex! that's why he is called an Ex! can't you just get it.
My dear add more spices to your marriage that is already spiced. If you want a good future block your Ex. Else you will come back with an anonymous chronicles few months later.
This is why I don't like long distance marriage. Unless you are soaked in the Lord, it's an open room for temptation. Husbands please stay with your wives. Either you all move abroad or you all stay in Nigeria. The essence of marriage is for families to live together. That said, poster abort mission. Your ex is just horny, that's why he's using the pregnancy trap. Finding Nigerian babes to cheat with abroad is hard, so he simply found an ex in Nigeria.
ReplyDeletePeperipe ,peperipepe ,eee no go dey do pass yourself In Kiss Daniel voice It just only one bullet to blow your fucking head off by that white woman, since you can not make good use of it.Remember that White woman might even be the source of your ex wealth, and you want to eat where you didn't sow. Woman stop causing pain to your fellow woman.
ReplyDelete