Hmmm..
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROUHAHA WITH COLLEAGUE
I have a colleague in the office an elderly man. We were really close and he recently assisted me with some cash when I tested positive to covid-19 and was always checking up on me. He went for an official assignment in another state even before I resumed back to work.
My problem now is, I always check up on him whenever it crosses my mind but this man will still be complaining that I don't check up on him enough. I tried explaining to him severally that my not checking up on him everyday doesn't mean I don't care.
Now he went as far as reporting me to my other colleague that I don't check up on him and that same day I coincidentally sent him a whatzapp message asking how he is doing and he just flare up and said it is because he complain to my colleague and probably my other colleague told me and that is why I am now checking up on him.
He resumed back to the office and started carrying face for me telling me that he is angry at me. my worry now is, maybe it is because of the financial help he render to me that is making him behave this way. Is he trying to make me look like an ingrate? I seriously appreciated his care and the cash gift all the time I was still at home and wholehearted prayed for him.
How should I go about this because I have also given him space but I don't want him to start seeing my as an ingrate or a user. I need advice ...
*You reaction to his actions is not so right... He was there for you when you needed someone and was probably hurt that you ignored him.. This happens a lot with people who are very emotional.
Please reach out to him and explain yourself and dont listen to anyone trying to poison your mind against him in the Office, remember that he was there for you and not the others...
Apologise to him and keep it moving!
And nobody should come here and suggest he wants a relationship with the poster....
to me the man is a bit childish with his behaviour, obviously he want a relationship with the poster but i think he is shy to say it and thinks because he cares and assist you, you should in turn understand and fall in
ReplyDeleteI think his kinda person loves being checked on from time to time..Do just that and i am pretty sure there will be changes..He already feels like you are an ingrate trust me
DeletePoster, abeg shun the guy. He dey sort of try to blackmail you. I go tell you straight up, me na man, na fuck dat man dey find, period. You no go believe me, but keep this at the back of your mind. The financial help he gave you was a means to have this much access to you. A man's gift makes way for him, remember this. He dey try use blackmail and elderly man sense for you. You are not an ingrate. What you are doing is keeping a safe distance, which is the best. Baba want fuck, simple!
DeleteNot sure why he reported you to another colleague when he could have simply told you how he felt. If I were in your shoes I'd apologize and let him know I'd try to check in as often as I can because I suck at reaching out to people. If you feel it's because of the financial assistance, then buy him a gift equivalent of the sum or just something nice to show appreciation, apologize and keep the relationship cordial.
ReplyDeleteOr better still, make she jejely transfer the money back to his account and call it a day. Who has time for nonsense and this baby behavior
DeleteDoppelganger I will agree with you, just that if there's anyway she can still maintain a cordial relationship with him even after returning the money,she should. You never know what might come up tomorrow 🤔
Delete@Anon 15:34 be calming down ooo😂😂
Sincerely apologize to him, your measure of showing care may be insignificant when it's weighed on his own scale.
ReplyDeleteTell him your actions were never intentional, and ensure you don't put yourself in a position where you feel unduly indebted to him.
Twins Squared.
Poster, you will do well to follow Stella's advice
ReplyDeleteNo Stella, nothing wrong with her reaction…she didn’t ask for his assistance.
ReplyDeleteHe offered to help.
Yes, it seems he wants a relationship - his attitude is stupid. Please refund the money he gave you and still thank him profusely for his generosity.
Afterwards, still greet him/be civil, but don’t go out of your way to be extra nice…
Pearl
Poster, buy him a gift. Say thanks and keep it cordial and move it.
ReplyDeleteThat man point of you not caring enough is not checking up on him, which you said you have been doing. It is relationship aspect. He is trying to manipulate you, just ignore him, and keep checking up on him the best way you can. Very manipulative "somebody"
ReplyDeleteWhy will he report you to someone else???I smell a rat🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePoster if you have the money please return the money to him and make sure you have evidence and a witness that the money was returned and thank him for his help. That way, you won’t feel obligated to always check up on him. He’ll drain you emotionally if you’re not careful. Be wise
ReplyDeleteQuite true 👌 me sef I hate nonsense 🙄...especially people who drain me emotionally 🚶🚶
DeleteNawa for entitled helpers.
ReplyDeleteYou just sound like a mean ingret
DeleteNo be only Ingret na Egret.It is ingrate before you bite your tongue.
Delete20:19, you made me laugh like a complete phool 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteStella, variety the say, is the spice of life. Let people advise how they understand, you will be surprised you might get more understanding yourself.
ReplyDeletePoster, that's a very uncomfortable situation to be in. I think the man is the type that thinks once they're/they've been of help to you, you are indebted to them. I will say, call him and apologise to him. Also give him a gift/gifts that is more than the money he helped you with and defined the relationship from there.
Stella may be the man actually wants a relationship with her...because I don't get why he'll be carrying face
ReplyDeleteDude just craves attention. And all he is doing is just emotional blackmail. Why compel one to always check up on you just cos you helped out at their time of need? The hand out looks sinister, please. Poster, find a way to pay back and calmly withraw from him slowly, but keep it cordial still.
ReplyDeleteHe is trying to manipulate u… should u become at his beck and call cos he “helped u”… me I no like stress for my life….continue doing ur best; everyone go adjust jare
ReplyDeleteHe gonna drain her emotionally. He Craves attention like food.
DeletePetty or entitled or childish? Checking up on me as if I am an invalid or what? What does he really want? He hadn't told you sha.
ReplyDeleteI think the man is over-reacting jare, what's all this reporting you to another colleague when he can simply sit you down and explain how he is feeling about you. Just apologized to him and move on.
ReplyDeleteHe wants arelationship that has passed the elbow and he's very childish on top of it. With time just keep to yourself because I don't understand this nonsense.
ReplyDeleteThat's what he wants, he just going about it like what I dunno.
DeleteHe might not want a relationship.
DeleteHe's an elderly man whose children (if he has any) has left his nest. He's probably lonely.
Please DO NOT go to his house
ReplyDeleteDO NOT go on a date🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢
Choi Stella u shouted at me b4 I even finished reading. I was going to say he wanted a relationship with the poster 🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteSee Every Morning,Send HIM a Goodmorning Message or Chat, Then Face Your Front.
ReplyDeleteText is N4:00 . Whatzapp is an already paid for service.
What more Will it Cost YOU,??
This right here is the reason why I don't accept handouts.
ReplyDeleteI do not accept cash gifts.
I do not accept gifts in kind.
There is no amount of hunger that will ever allow me to become a puppet in someone's game.
Christmas gift of 2020 that a vendor forced me to accept( even after politely refusing repeatedly,) I left it at the far end of my office table till date.
I have too much pride and zero tolerance for childish, passive aggressive, entitled attitudes which usually happens when Nigerians have an opportunity to gift you anything.
Somebody will give you a grain of corn and will start acting like he saved your life with 100 acres of farmland.
If I am ever in need, I would rather take a loan with clear re-payment terms.
He may or may not want a relationship. I do not know.
To fcuk a person does not require a relationship anyway in 2021.
You did not state if you or he is married.
I'm certain though that he does want you to be emotionally indebted to him and to SHOW that you know you are indebted.
You said this is an elderly person?
Laughable.
One would expect a far higher level of maturity and the ability to concisely convey his thoughts.
What a pity.
Prepare yourself,it could get very messy.
The heart want what it wants.
ReplyDeleteThe man is manipulative and feels you are indebted to him.Buy him a gift and apologize and afterwards,keep it official and civil to avoid stories that touch.
ReplyDeletePeople who think you don't have the right to your own feelings and you have to feel the same way they feel for you. Very Childish behavior.
ReplyDeleteWisdom is all you need.
ReplyDeleteReading all the comments, the only thing I can say is this is a very mean and selfish generation.
ReplyDeleteMy own experience, i was broke sometimes back,i explained to someone and he dashed me some cash.
ReplyDeleteThe next day,i thanked him for d money he dashed me, like throughout that week ,i always send him messages to greet and pray for him just because he dashed me d money
Later i got really busy with work ,i didnt check on him for a month and 2 weeks,but my mind was always on him,last week, i sent him a lenghty message apologising for not checking on him for a month and some weeks ,i explained how busier i got and I also prayed for him and his family
To my greatest surprise, he read my lengthy message and never replied.
I feel like he is seeing me as an ingrate because i didnt check on him and he dashed me some money
This man is happily married to a good Christian lady and they r doing well
Am still surprised that a man we all see as a Pastor and a mentor can be keeping malice with me and angry because i didnt check on him.
Im still waiting for another few days to send him another apology message, i pray he replies
E shock me