Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
I really need some advise.
I really need some advise.
So I'm in a relationship with somebody's son. It's been an amazing 6 months, going by the fact that I had been tortured with boredom and loneliness since I arrived in the state where I work presently from Lagos.
He has been a friend, confidant and steady supporter as the job I do requires alot of effort both mentally and physically. He has been my safe haven after the long, harrowing week.
He is a dynamic person, extremely extroverted as opposed to my more reserved nature. Despite his disposition, he protects his private space. I love his drive and ambition but.... the flipside to this is that that ambition makes him take some very high risks. He is a win big or loose big person. So He just lost a lot of money.. over 1m(of course my money is also there 500k)
I willingly put it cos i saw potential in it working out based on what he told me. This loss has been giving me sleepless nights. I worry for him too cos he wants to achieve so much. He has a business and is quite popular among the youth in the capital of our state. (He makes some cash but he is not financially stable. He is also a big spender and talks big as well)
The thing now is that, this something that has been at the back of my mind concerning our relationship just popped into my mind. I FEEL LIKE THE DUDE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
He does stuff for me no doubt... call me old fashioned but as a lady I expect more from my man. He says he is going to give me everything I desire when he has the means. But when I think back I realize that I'm spending more.
Sometimes when we talk he says somethings like... "You work with XYZ company and I'm lacking in this" "This your money is our money" he laughs when he says it and it's rare when he voices this out but I still wonder. Well I'm still observing the whole situation, I dont want to jump into conclusions.
My birthday is coming up and he is broke now. I want to see what he will do for me. Should I use this experience to determine whether he is for real or is a baby boy? Thanks guys...
Use this experience to learn ...
It is just a relationship and not Marriage....
When you say you're in a relationship, I suppose he has proposed to you and it's leading to marriage.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you need to be realistic in your expectations. If he's unstable financially and does not know how to manage the little that he makes, then you are heading to a financial crisis with somebody's son in future.
Discuss your fears with him and guide him if you can since you seem to be more financially disciplined.
All the best
Dear poster, I think it is time for you to jump into conclusions. If he is unable to manage the little he has, trust me it will be hard to manage whe he hits big! Also, that 'joke' about you working with xyz company is quite off putting. Could he be that he is with you because of what he thinks he can benefit from you? How did he talk you into putting 500k down if you are not a risk taker like him, did you invest or you lent him the money? Is he talking about refunding you? Did he really loose the money? Beware of smooth talkers and too-good-to-be-true relationships please.
DeletePoster take it from me, you are being played. Better watch your heart and your purse.
DeleteDear Poster, the baby boy is playing you big time.
DeleteNext time he will smooth talk you to either sell your parents land or invest 10 times more in his scam business..
To think you're even expecting an unstable boy financially to pop the "will you marry me question" is absurd..
Please, you sound intelligent and have a seemingly bright future, don't rush these things. It's just a relationship not a marriage...use your brain not your heart here..
Common sense is needed here.
Good luck to you.
This is interestingly interesting and scintillatingly scintillating
ReplyDeleteAbeg commot for here
DeleteWhat’s this rubbish format you’ve adopted of late?
DeleteNa mental health issues yeye pelsin
DeleteYou self try get sense na. This one he is saying this is our money, you no think am. Loneliness will cause a lot of things.
ReplyDeleteDon't expect him to do anything for your birthday. Better remove your mind from it
Stop giving him sex ooo if you have, better stop it and sit down and take a look at the relationship. Is it favouring you? Weigh the pros and cons. Is that clear
You opened up way toomuch to this guy, quite commendable and he's making u spend more on him coz he knows whenever you receive salary. What happens when you don't?
ReplyDeleteIn marriage, you will shoulder more than half of the home responsibilities seeing he is a reckless spender n talks big, he has to live up to his big talks and will leave you to shoulder home because he knows you CAN.
Bring an update on what he does for your birthday. Goodluck.
When a guy talks big it is a put off. Empty barrel makes a loud noise.
DeleteBabes you are already thinking like you guys are married...You guys are just friends and getting to know yourselves...So whatever you are seeing now will multiply even in marriage...Just use this as a learning phase but then again, why are you guys playing Russian Roulette with money and your money is now involved, what plans do he have to play back...Let me step back for other people to comment...All the best...
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this comment 🙏
DeleteIf you marry this man, you will so suffer and regret. He is the type that puts eye in a woman's money and use reverse psychology to it feel like its his right to be spending your money.. sista... run o
ReplyDeletePoster quit that thing you call relationship.
ReplyDeleteHe is using you.
All I see is doom.
Exactly, I'll i see is a user,poster pls runnnnnn
DeleteYou are being used, you should NEVER have assumed that 'Dude' position because he is getting used to it and it will be very hard to change so wise up lady.
ReplyDeleteHe’s extravagant
ReplyDeleteTalks a big game
Spends more than he earns
Feels comfortable spending your money..
Yup, a bouncing baby boy. He will run you down if you are not careful.
Big time run down o. Baby girl meets baby boy… baby finances loading 🤣. Omo do not risk my money o, I don’t play like that.
DeleteYou are not serious. Why starting your chronicles with"? I'm in relationship with someone's SON"
ReplyDeleteLmao! I'm glad you said it not me.
DeleteAnyway poster, get ready for multiple responsibilities in marriage while people think you're enjoying all 'his money'
Learn what?
ReplyDeleteSister run o as in far far away.
Why can't he stand himself? Why are you spending more? What's our money when he's not married to you? Pick your sense up now, ask yourself if you're broke will he look your way?
Emotional blackmail tins, let him get himself an XYZ or better job too.
Shine ur eyes. Did I read u well? Did u give him half a million and it failed in this Sapa regime? Abeg, what does he mean by that, your money is our money. This is not time to be bumping uglies,u should mind your money and ur heart.
ReplyDeleteIf u ask me, I kinda feel some ojoro in this relationship. And am hardly wrong wit such.
Food luck.
Well,my hubby is also a huge risk taker and it's annoying. I support the family alot financially,I feel that of he even plans ahead we won't be in such a tight spot. I basically can't even save from my income.
ReplyDeleteHe provides but it is not just enough especially with high cost of everything now.
I would suggest you have a detailed discussion with him and then decide if you want to go ahead or not.its well.
So, he told you he lost the money or you saw it for yourself…Aunty, that man is up to no good. He will suck you dry and make you unhappy. Please leave that ship now. T for thanks.
ReplyDeleteI think they must have invested in one of these 'Ponzi investment schemes', like Benignant and the other one that crashed recently
DeleteFollow your instincts. If you feel you are not agreeing, and he makes looses before learning then weigh your options and decide your
ReplyDeleteDecide on your next move
DeleteYou expertly avoided two things;
ReplyDelete1. fornication in this relationship
2. His occupation and what he put that money into that made him "lose big"
Those are very important for the advice you seek.
Poster sorry for your loss. Be careful going forward some guys love playing games with unsuspecting cool ladies
ReplyDeleteA lot of Nigerians are into "online business" and that is what this your narration reeks of. You cannot be doing secular job and risking your income in such scams. I don't care what you call it; as long as you are not being PRODUCTIVE and point at the positive moral and economic impact of what you are doing, it is ponzi; robbing A to pay B. A loses today, B gains today. Tomorrow the trend is reversed.
ReplyDeleteNo nation or generation grows by such a vain trip. You've got to withdraw and re-evaluate your choices in life before you get wrecked; mentally, emotionally, economically and spiritually. Yes, there is always a spiritual dimension to greed. That you will understand when you begin to read the teachings of Jesus Christ. I do not know your spiritual identity, but that there is a time bomb.
You said it all. Dear poster, don't be naive when it comes to relationships and marriage. Don't be more interested in birthday gifts over watching his content of character. So if he steals or cons someone to give you a bomb birthday gift, then he is good and all is forgotten? Why will you invest in a business that doesn't seem pure? How sure are you that the money was even lost at all? As this anon said, be prayerful and re-evaluate your choices and most of all, avoid sex so you can make good choices.
Delete@16:51
Delete👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Hmmmm, I want to tell you that you will live to regret it but I wont.
ReplyDeleteAll the red flags are waving triumphantly in your face.
Women wey dey 'hin love' no dey ever hear word especially when practicing fornication as well.
So let experience teach you.
I don't know why some men are like this. These days, you see men looking for women who are financially stable, women who they will milk, borrow money from until they milk her dry. What's happening?
ReplyDeletePoster, are you sure that man loves you or he's with you because he knows you work with a "big" company and knows how much you earn? Stop giving him money. He talks big, dreams big, spends big and takes big risks because you give him money. If it was his money, I mean the money he worked hard for, he wouldn't take unnecessary risk and waste it anyhow.
Wake up!
Tired of coming here to read same type of chronicles upon all the wealth of bad examples n experiences that others have shown we can learn from. Surely there is more to life than women constantly being on the losing end of a relationship, being used, building up men who will leave and not being valued, pampered, cherished the way women ought to be.
DeleteNot all relationships lead to marriage.Some are eye opener to make you realize what you want or do not want.
ReplyDelete💋💋 thanks for this
DeleteYou are dating yourself forget all those accolades you're giving because you don't to feel you made a mistake. You know the truth,and the truth will save you from sleepless nights and premium tears. Poster learn to love yourself and cherish it.
DeleteHe is a bouncing baby boy but i know yo wont listen to us shaa. Been there and done that it never ends well run for your life.
ReplyDeletelol... the guys eyes is obviously on your money cos he knows how much you earn.
ReplyDeletehe has said what he has on his mind and used laughter to digest it.
get ready to shoulder more responsibilities especially when he sees you now love him more
Sometimes I feel we ladies have things upside down - give your all in a relationship so it can lead to marriage, then in marriage we become scheming and clever, holding back unnecessarily.
ReplyDeletePoster, leave that person’s son to build himself please. Or if you want him despite the difference in earning, then let him know he is not to depend on your earnings and shouldn’t factor it in his plans. Rest assured, this won’t work. If a woman earns more than her partner, she should watch out for his orientation. Some men have pride and will spend to the limit of their earnings, others, like your guy, already believe they are entitled to yours. Based on the fact that this is still a relationship, that attitude is a NO!
Hmmm my dear just enjoy the relationship for now ooo. Dont even think of settling down with him. Also stop giving him money totally
ReplyDeleteA very bouncing baby boy.Better be smart and face your front..this one will put you in plenty trouble.Don't let a man you're dating kkow your worth.Don't be surprise he flexed your 500k for real.
ReplyDeletePoster is he an 'Abuja Big Boy'?
ReplyDeleteAbort mission!!!
What did I say?
ABORT MISSION. 🗣 and 👣👣👣!!!!!!
Just don't allow your money give you sleepless nights except you choose to spend out of freewill. Hope he is not one of those guys who build castles in the air?
ReplyDeletePoster yaff enter one chance motor. 😆😆😆. Come down in peace before you come down in pieces.
ReplyDeleteA word is enough for the wise.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 She jam baby boy for life!
Delete“Your money is our money”
ReplyDeleteRUN!!!!!!
You’re his benefactor and would be gone the minute he’s rendered you useless. He struck once he realized you were lonely, new in town & financially stable.
Stop spending your money, come up with something & watch your so-called Cupid change. You’re being used & would be disposed as soon as or he’d employ marriage tactics.
I’m confident you’d find previous victims of his if you do your due diligence. Genuine risk takers do so with their resources & not others.
Wait oo, it's like ur company makes what ppl can have. Hmmmnn, that son of a somebody is gradually signaling u to steal and bring to him. That ur money will soon finish and u will work more to give him more. Na so my friend spend all her money for 15years on her husband and the man eventually got a job and still left her to be suffering her tins wit four kids, hahahaha u never hear whiinn..
ReplyDeleteTo think loneliness have pushed u to be giving somebody's son all ur money in the name of love. I just can't wait to read more Chronicles from u in the future. It's like u no too fine and he dey gbensh u wella, fuck dey tire oo.
Free the vampire.
"He doesn't have much, he talks loudly and spends heavily" give him space and allow him face the consequences of his action. This one will drain you financially if you settle with him.
ReplyDeletePoster run, he is a scam
ReplyDeleteMy dear come up with a plan to get your 500k back!!!!
ReplyDeleteI entered the same mess the difference is that I married him. Imagine giving this man 5mil and each time he does anything to complete the house he still expect me to join him and do it.
He hasn't even spent even two million on the house but will claim all sorts.
That dude is in that relationship with you for your money. Take it or leave it. They can lick your ass as long as they have access to your money but the moment you lock up, you will not recognize the person you marry. I locked up and my husband never was there for me in my pregnancy journey, he tried to even make me loose it but thank God it stayed. Very little help as am nursing. My step away from the relationship but please get your money. DON'T EVER GIVE HIM A DIME AGAIN UNLESS you don't like your self.
Please start investing and don't let anyone you are dating know what you own. Best regards
Guy isn’t a husband material nd u don’t need that, except it’s just boyfriend u want to use him to do, this one no follow
ReplyDeleteMy dear. Please drop him like its hot. I made the mistake of marrying someone like. A helper, people were even jealous of our relationship that led to marriage. I provided all hoping he will make it soon. Then money stopped from my end and he ran after 5years of marriage. Just like that. Run baby run please run. Some men are evil
ReplyDeleteI almost entered one like this. It was when the guy once mentioned "In my church, husband and wife operate a joint account". I carry side eye looks m again. For my mind(say what???)
ReplyDeleteI heard it the first time. The second time, after inviting me to his church, I heard the pastor ask his wife to come out for a particular sum. On our way back home, he said "babe, did you hear pastor ask his wife to come out for...do you know that's from her pocket"???
Men and brethren, I japa!!!
My sister, pls Japa...!!!
A real man will be too ashamed to collect money from a woman easily.
My dear, don't let anybody mislead you. In every relationship or marriage, there is always the "reacher" and the "settler".
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, if he were as rich as you crave,he would feel too big for you and wouldn't date you. Your self sufficiency is part of my he's with you.
Know your values and priorities. If it's a must that you marry this early, find a way to balance things. He won't change. Accept it or leave him.
Better end that situationship you are in,that guy will chop your pussy, chop your money and rake you
ReplyDeleteYou need to work on your loneliness and boredom aka depressed mood else you’ll continue to take bullshit from him all in the name of dating him. He has seen you don’t have a life and you depend so much on him emotionally and for sex I’m sure. That guy will drain the hell out of you emotionally and financially that by the time you end the relationship, you’ll have nothing left. A whole 500k and you’re not even talking about getting your damn money back!!! If you give your family and siblings 500k you don’t think it’ll help them tremendously?!??? Or even women and kids in homeless shelter. You’re giving a fuck boy all that money all in the name of bringing excitement to your life when you should work on enjoying your own company first and creating a healthy social network around you. You need to end that relationship immediately!! As in end it and relocate to another apartment if possible. this guy can become dangerous if he sees his cash flow is no longer forthcoming. Na there you go see craze person you’ve been dating. Be very careful young woman and use your brain! All these euphoric feelings will vamoose when sh*t hits the fan. So how are you getting your money back??? That should be your number priority right now and not even expecting gift on your birthday. If he can’t be the man of his words and show you he cares about you by making sure you get your money back (even if it’s in installments), then you’re dating a /fuck boy. Anyway, wait until your birthday now, we’ll see. Sha update us. I’m so so upset reading this chronicle. Madam how are you getting your 500k back?? 😠
ReplyDeleteHaha poster I so so pity you ehn.Baby boy is just cruising on your money and he is very extravagant and boastful ontop your own money.
ReplyDeleteBabe leave that relationship cos the guy is just chopping you and not even interested in future with you o.You re on your own lol.
My question is,when are you collecting your 500k back??its sad that you aint even talking about that one sef.