Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Dear Stella and bvs, I really need your advice. Please if you want to bash, bash me small abeg. God bless you all.
Dear Stella and bvs, I really need your advice. Please if you want to bash, bash me small abeg. God bless you all.
Four years ago when I had my baby, a woman friend came to see my baby and when she entered my compound, she was shocked and asked if I lived there and I said yes.
She then went on to ask if the owner lived there with his family? Of which I said yes cos we are the only tenant. She asked how many children and I answered one and she said it isn't true that the man has another family somewhere.
When I tried asking for more details, she cut off and said I'm too young to understand. I told my husband about it and he told me to not to mind the woman and that I should forget all these stories.
Then I had this woman friend whom I buy things from and we were quite close. I confided in her concerning what the woman said ( please I'm not a gossip, I was just ignorant then).
She later got to find out that they both worked in the same establishment and were colleagues. She started coming close to my landlady (cos she's quite rich) and sometimes dropped her daughter there.
Fast forward to now( 4 years later), this woman in other to buy favour or get connected decided to tell my landlady even mentioning my name claiming that her conscience was flogging her.
I feel so bad cos I'm not that person anymore. I'm changed and have given my life to Christ. I and my landlady have not had a quarrel for 7 years we've lived in that house.
My landlord called my husband to say that he was disappointed in us and I felt really bad. I've said sorry to my husband and landlady but she's very bitter. She even went as far as saying I should stop spreading my clothes on her line.
I'm truly sorry and feel very bad. I would have loved to pack out but do not have the resources for now. I feel so guilty.
Please house what do I do?
*Hmmmmmmm..
You have apologised nau!
You did not kill anyone so please let it rest.
You have learnt your lesson and thats the most important thing in all of this.... Stay clear of the whistleblower that betrayed you.
You needn't beat up yourself too much and of course,God knows that you have apologised already
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteEven if you kee person and all the apologies she still carry face like person smell mess, don't bother again. Face front, cut off from both of them and do your best to greet your landlady in case you come in contact with her.
ReplyDeleteAlso get your own wire or buy your own where to hang your clothes. The compound is too big enough for both of you.
Mind your business.... When they say mind your business una think say na fools dem dey talk about.
Sorry ooo madam Christian
This is a very silly comment. Can you fathom how betrayed she feels especially from a tenant she's taken as a friend and neighbour? The poster obviously said or implied worse than she's letting on for the 'whistleblower' to have a crisis of conscience all these years later.
DeleteComments should be valuable else just drink water and keep your inanity to yourself.
Chic27 November 2021 at 15:12
ReplyDeleteIt has happened, let it slide. You have apologized to your landlady, it’s okay.
Do not try to establish any friendship with her.
AVOID her at all costs.
As for that RAT, ignore her. Cheap people like her will do anything to gain favors.
ReplyDelete
It will take a while and they will let go.
ReplyDeleteNo one is perfect dear,we all have made mistakes.
stay off that betrayal of a woman, she will put you in more problems if you continue with her
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why you are beating yourself up for something that happened 4 years ago of which you have repented. Give yourself and the landlady sometime then go back to apologise for the last time. If she forgives fine, if she doesn't, leave her to her faith an conscience.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad. You have apologised which is good. Just free and let your mind be at rest. Stay clear of that woman the whistle-blower
ReplyDeleteThe question still remains unanswered. Does your landlord have another family? If he does, then her bitterness is not ending anytime soon. Because she feels belittled by the fact that you have been privy to delicate info about her while she was wallowing in ignorance. That I think is the cause of the prolonged anger. Which ever way, cut off from both that friend and your landlady. All you owe her is salutations. Don't act like a slave if not she'll use it to punish you emotionally.
ReplyDeleteWhen you have the resources, move out and don't look back. I'm sure you have learnt some vital lessons of life.
Yes she should plan on moving out. Her husband may keep reminding her of this incident and blaming her for making them leave the house but it is fine. She has learned.
DeletePoster pls just endure your landlady till she calms down and if she doesn't, plan and move out.
Making sense 👌👌
Delete👌👌👌
DeleteI kuku no understand this chronicle
ReplyDeleteSteer clear of anybody that brings unsolicited info to you. I learnt that a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteGo and pologize to your landlady one last time considering the fact that you cannot afford to get another accommodation now because with the way she is going about it, she may give you quit notice soon.
Just face front and avoid your landlady including the person who gave her the gist. Hope you told your landlady it happened 4 years ago with the same person in picture as part of your gossip team.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry soon she and your landlady will have a fight and your landlady will come around. Give her some space, time will heal the wound.
James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
ReplyDeleteNice to know that you have made Jesus your Lord; the best decision ever.
Give yourself to the study of the Word for he said
Proverbs 16:7When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.
And again, Romans 8:28 in all things, the Lore works for the good of those that Love him...
So dear, if you love the Lord and he is pleased with you, you can fill in the rest...
I think you should try to seek an audience with your landlady again and explain how exactly it happened to her. And afterwards stay clear of both your landlady and that sneaky woman. The o my thing you owe her is just greetings,it is left to forgive you
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to overflogg yourself over the issue.
Greet her when you see her. Be nice to her. Avoid the tale bearer like a plague and be mindful of who tell things going forward.
ReplyDeleteIf and when you offend others, there are no greater words than "I am sorry". Millions around the world find it difficult to say the words, mostly because of pride. You humbled yourself and apologized, this is more than enough. You could have denied telling the lady anything about your landlady, after all there were no witnesses. You choose the path of honour and accepted what you did. If is she is finding difficult to forgive, it has nothing to do with you. Forgive the lady that betrayed you and learn from what has happened. Don't spend your life regretting what happened, life is a learning process, a series of experiences that shape our lives . Please move on and always remember it's better to do the right things than to be sorry. God bless you
ReplyDeleteSorry about how you feel and the drama surrounding it all. Glad too that you learnt your lesson. Neighborhood gossip does not pay, it's more like an entanglement. Ladies/women learn to mind your business. Don't give people the impression that they can easy come to tell you tales and don't be the one running off to tell tales. As for the woman friend that Casted you, I believe you have seen her for who she really is. Knowing that your husband told you to forget about the matter and mind your business, he may be really disappointed but just as you said, you have asked for his forgiveness. Reassure him that you have learnt your lessons and will henceforth mind your business. Remain cordial with your landlady and give her only the respect you owe her. Don't go trying to belittle yourself or become pretentious because of the incident. If you find out that your being cordial is not working then start preparing your mind to leave the house. Cut off from the woman friend and leave her where she belongs.
ReplyDeleteThere's no way you would have told your landlady such..just face front avoid her and the whistle blower
ReplyDeleteSeems like the landlady is trying to place the blame on you when she's supposed to face her husband for having another family elsewhere (I.e. if my understanding of the chronicle is correct)
ReplyDeleteFace your home. You owe her no apology after you have already apologised.
BTW, she has no right telling you not to hang your clothes in the line you have been hanging your clothes. You pay rent, you're not staying there for free. If they make the compound uncomfortable for you and your husband, plan to move. Shikena!
Poster you have done your best to apologise.
DeleteTruth be told, the Landlady has full right to tell you not to use her clothes line. Your rent covers only your apartment and general area of the premises.
So long as there is space for another clothes line, go get the poles and, for respect sake, let your husband seek the permission of the Landlord to fix another line.
If there is no space for another clothes line, you have been given an indirect (polite) quit notice. In any case, the woman will be happier you left the premises.
So, as already adviced, greet her. Be genuinely polite to her and her husband - no carry face while greeting or around them.
And contrary to popular advice above, be polite with the "whistle blower" and do not stay away from her in the full sense of those words as if in combat with her for telling on you. This is necessary to prevent her from using you to concretise her relationship with the Landlady.
Pray for open financial doors. Start saving "we quit" money. The wind may blow over. You may then have money at hand to even buy land or do somethng beneficial. If the wind does not turn in your favour, you then would not be put to shame by a formal quit notice from the landlord/landlady.