Hmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Good day, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female. Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's living with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young.
I have a supermarket, so my nanny, cook and take care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible.
when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year. I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help!
When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe!
I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living was built by my father in-law, it's a duplex..
My husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nannys dowry, they came back yesterday. I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.
I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he wants to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice.
Married for 10years. What a Life!
*This was posted in the comment section and I think it was copied from where a BVs friend posted it on facebook..... It is really interesting!
So Nanny does not have a right to have a miracle? Please let the Nanny enjoy her Blessing and stop being so jealous of her new status!!!
You were a channel of blessing to your nanny, but envy wan kill you. God blesses whom He pleases.
ReplyDeleteThis poster sha!, what do you have that your "nanny" doesn't have.
DeleteNa your type nanny de collect their poster
And men are scum?
DeleteThis poster get real wahala. Why so condescending? Is the nanny not a human being? Na your type fit dey maltreat house helps. Your attitude towards her would determine how nice she'll be to you.
DeleteI even thought she wanted to say the nanny snatched her husband. Madam abeg rest. Your father in-law needs a sex partner and companion , and he has found one through you. The only issue is the living arrangement. Since he has houses scattered everywhere , he should take his iyawo to one of them na. Living together in the same house with your nanny as a CO wife might be uncomfortable for you.
DeleteI agree with 18:42
DeleteTell your husband to move to one of the free houses and let grandpa and his wife live together alone. They can get a nanny to help the new wife. Or Grandpa should move to one of his houses since he now has a companion. The living arrangement is not ok.
Zukwanuike and let them be jare
ReplyDeleteYou are just looking for trouble where there is none. Are you married to your father in-law? The only thing I have a problem with is them still living with you (what does papa wants to be close to his son even mean?). Now that he has a companion,they should move out and live together. Is your husband breastfeeding his father? They can live nearby if that would enable him see his son often.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you looking down on someone? Is 'maid' a name of a person? The lady is not a minor so I don't see how this is your business unless there is more to it. Wo this is either a lie or just rich people problems but you seem to have a lot of water in your eyes to be crying about this.
Baba should move out from his own house? You know see where the poster wrote na baba get the house?
DeleteNa dem go even move out if they're not comfortable. The house they all live in is owned by her father in law.
DeleteI was waiting to read what she is so upset about but didn't see anything. The father in law was staying with them out of loneliness, he has found a companion who is pregnant and wants to build a home with her, they should move out to one his many houses or is she insisting on living with you to rub it in your face as you are not happy with the development?
DeleteAs for calling anybody "aunty" or "mummy", I don't subscribe to such traditions but will just advise you to find a way to manage the whole situation. Stop being angry or bitter, see it as God using you to uplift her but don't tolerate any disrespect from her because she married your father in law. All the best dear.
This woman is not a good example of womanhood. How can you not be happy for your nanny? Let's agree the nanny might have gone about it like a gold-digger but a 65 year old man is not senile nau. We don't even know if geandpa wooed her into submission. This poster seem like the kind of boss that don't treat their nannies very well, and maybe that's one of her worry - having looked down or even talked down on the nanny that she might not amount to anything beyond being a help. Imagine the disrespectful to another individual all because of where they found their self in life.
DeleteThis is see finish.
As I was reading this, I kept wondering if the Nanny is not a human being?
ReplyDeleteThis lady is selfish and she's the type that will not want someone that was once under her to be greater or richer than her.
I treat everyone nicely because no one knows tomorrow. That security man that you look down on could just be your key to success and greater heights in life.
A word is enough for a while 😊
There is nothing you can do except you want you and your husband to move to another place and let fil and his wife have the duplex.
ReplyDeleteThis kind nanny will be rude when the time comes.
So becos she is a nanny she don't deserve rich man ,while you that came from nothing is enjoying richmans deviant, wicked, selfish, woman that's what you are
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel, dear poster...
ReplyDeleteIf you can convinceyour husband to move out of to move out and rent his own apartment, at least it ll limit the see finish.
Husband doesn’t look like someone who will listen to her since he told her to call her aunts already
DeleteMaybe the nanny is older than her
DeleteWow I'm so speechless , what are your fears exactly?
ReplyDeleteAre you worried she would not respect you?
Are you worried about inheritance ?
Are you worried that you'd have to accord her some level of respect as your father in law's wife?
I can understand how you feel as per she disrespected you by having sex with your father inlaw , if all if that didn't happen I don't see anything wrong in your father in law marrying her ,that's where he found happiness .
I just pray that everything goes well and this doesn't tear your family apart.
It may seem as tho she’s the one trying to tear her own family apart not even the nanny.
DeleteShe’s been super bitter about her nanny’s upgrade in status.
She doesn't want the nanny to rise above her, from nanny to stepmother inlaw
DeleteI was going to say you've posted it before until I saw your explanation below, meaning I read that comment.
ReplyDeleteAs regards the lady involve, may God not allow us to be joy killers. She probably has maltreated the girl in the past and now can't imagine the said lady as part of their family. When they say treat people right, you never can tell when the tide will turn, they won't hear.
When they were marrying her, they weren't stooping low because it's her nanny they're stooping low. This kind of woman will pick spouses for her children base on status. Her husband is not marrying another woman, her father-in-law is. She should let them be and stop being petty!
Madam come down from that your high horse abeg! What kind of mentality is this? So na only you like better thing ba? Instead of you to be happy that your FIL find happiness again, you are here raising shoulders. Abeg I no won vex ooo cos na small thing dey vex me.
ReplyDeleteMe i don vex sef
DeleteNo mind her, she maltreated that lady, now she is scared.
DeleteAllow the Nanny be biko, she is a human being she can't die a Nanny. Opportunity awaits everybody. You married a young man and she is about to marry a man twice her age and you are jelousing her .
ReplyDeleteImagine Pride!
ReplyDeleteYou are so rude and don't sound like a good person at all. So because of your status you look down on people and think you are above all.
Well, I sympathise with you but there's nothing you can do. Try and be cordial with the nanny, you don't have to be her friend but be civil.
ReplyDeleteExactly. All you can do is be civil. You don't have to be buddy-buddy with her. Though if I were you,I would try to befriend her. Her child be your children's step-uncle or aunty
DeleteWhy are you taking it so personally? Is the nanny not a human being?
ReplyDeleteP.s. - I hope the nanny is not a gold digger though...
Yeah as long as the nanny isn't sinister I don't see the problem.
DeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteYou need to be careful with your attitude otherwise people will see you as wicked, self entitled and selfish. I understand your dilemma. But, everyone is entitled to happiness. Even your house girl. You married up didn’t you? So, why can’t she marry up too.
Instead of being a villain, be her friend n mentor.
No, you don’t have to call her Aunty and your children don’t need to call her mummy. Once she has her baby call her mama so-so. Until then, use terms like Ngozi-dear, our wife. But, be friendly, that way you can maintain your status as mistress of the house and she will continue to show you respect and nonverbally let her know you still run this ship. .
Soon she will be the one to convince her new hubby to move out. But, please don’t make her miserable. You will jeopardize your own marriage if you do that.
Imagine if it was your sister that unexpectedly nagged a rich man. Wouldn’t you be happy for her.
I understand your dilemma but please try to see it from a different angle. You will just sound bitchy and snubbing otherwise.
💯.
DeletePoster this nanny has the capacity to destroy your marriage if you don't thread softly. Be cordial with her, she is a human being just like you, you no get 2 heads.
👏👏👏
DeleteBest advice
Delete❤
DeleteTreat all people you meet well. You do not know tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteThe main concern of this writer is that she has not been treating this lady like a sister.
So you want a 32 year old lady to remain a nanny for life?
If you have been treating her as your sister, the family is complete now;
FIL's loneliness gone
You have a lady you can trust as his wife: Yes because if you didn't trust her, you won't have left your
food and kids under her care.
Lesson again; how do you treat your nanny; as a slave or as your child or sister?
😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
So nanny is not entitled to marry into wealth but you can marry into wealth; really?
ReplyDeleteNne, you are jealous and impossible.
FIL's loneliness is solved.
But without salvation, it is all vanities. There will still be loneliness and suffering in hell.
Exactly @ without salvation
DeleteMadam there's nothing you can do because this life na turn by turn. When they say be good to people no matter their social status mba you people will not. So enjoy *daughter in law*
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, she’s an adult and not a child. This would only have been a problem if she was sleeping with your husband. Both her and your father in law are entitled to their happiness
ReplyDeleteWhat God wants to do does not exist 🤣🤣from nanny to wife Choi e choke me ooo 🤣🤣 poster you’re now the glorified nanny now 🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteMadam you no well! Who do you think you are? Who died and made you God? Well e shock you..
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her, imagine the way she said 'my own nanny', smh for you poster
DeletePoster come on! You should be happy your father-in-law has found happiness and will no longer be bored and possibly leave your home for you and your husband to enjoy...So housemaids don't deserve happiness or beautiful things...I must commend your father-in-law for taking responsibility even though I understand your concerns based on the circumstances of the pregnancy under your roof....
ReplyDeleteBut please let sleeping dogs lie...They have both found happiness and be happy for them...She is 32 years not 16 years old here...Abeg congratulations to them o jare
It is not under her roof, the house belongs to father in law, it is more like under her nose
DeleteI think the poster is more worried about her position in the hierarchy of things going forward, and necessarily about Papa marrying her maid. That she was her maid made it most worrisome for her. In her subtle way, she gave off her priority in the marriage as more interested in remaing the "oriaku"
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, I think she has the wrong mentality, about lesser people. Your nanny can get to marry your husband's boss or a wealthier person than you have. This condescending mindset arguably might have given us an insight into the primary motive for being in your marriage. Perhaps you would have been smarter to pimp any of your sisters to your FIL so that the hegemony will stay put within touch.
I don't think anyone wouldn't want the best for their widowed or widower parents, and if it means getting companionship. The lockdown might had accelerated his need for companionship, and having him at home with a willing succour was a blessing.
I'd say your husband's position was due to your stance and more importantly your condescending reproach to another human being. Who by providence met her divine helper.
Another good one 👏👌
DeleteMadam, you have become what you have been castigating. A bitter cold jealous woman..
ReplyDeleteWhy are you crying over new Mrs status?
Please, free your mind because I'm sure that the lady will keep respecting you if you maintain respect and cordial relationship with her..
Hello dear,I understand how you feel,but try not to be so condescending.Its a somewhat difficult position to be in, seeing that it was you who brought her into the family,but then,it's her destiny and you can't take it away from her.Just thank your stars it's not your husband that got her pregnant,the story would have been different.Now that papa has a companion,it's wise you and your husband move to another house,so that you can be in control of your home.This arrangement you have now will now work at all.A lot of issues will come out and your husband will blame you.Please in future,avoid female helps,to avoid stories that touch the heart.All the best!
ReplyDeletewoman u have no case...she didn't marry your husband...
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh so much. Madam no condition is permanent. All I see is your ego, did you treat her well when she was your nanny? Because now, she's the madam and owner of everything because she's married to the person that owns all not someone waitingto inherit. She might have married him for his money or surprisingly for love. It is very selfish and snobbish of you to look down on her. Abeg eat some honey and wish the newlyweds well and please behave yourself and respect your new mother in law.
ReplyDeleteLol@ new mother in law. I am sure she didn't treat her well, now she is very afraid.
DeleteVery selfish, proud, condescending human, so because the lady is a "Nanny" she doesn't deserve happiness? Or perhaps you are scared because in your conceited world, she has become your madam, very selfish and low of you to even reason like that.
ReplyDeleteThis poster must be the very arrogant type. The only issue here is papa and the new wife still living with you guys. Aside that, you’ve got no reasons to be worried.
ReplyDeleteYou should not be scared of anything if you treated her well as a nanny.
ReplyDeleteFor you to even accept a 32 year old as live in nanny makes me cringe. You should thank God it wasn’t your husband that’s in the picture. Pls try to be civil in addressing this issue moving forward so it won’t jeopardize your marriage.
ReplyDeleteHmmm.. what if the pregnancy is for your husband and your father in-law is just trying to cover up for his son
ReplyDeleteChai. It’s true o. This one guy man carry the matter for his head
DeleteHmmmm...I really hope this isn't true.
DeleteHmmm. Another angle.
DeleteKai you people know how to plant strange thoughts in people's head
DeleteMrs S person wey carry him problem enter soshu media go hear am.
DeleteThis poster wicked, proud, jealous, enemy of process and a stroke of village people de her body
Cover up to the extent of getting married to her! Make una dey use una medula oblangata na.
DeletePoster, I think you are taking things too far.
ReplyDeleteEasy on yourself and this is to tell you that God bless whoever he chooses to bless no matter who and how.
As long as baba is happy, please be happy for them and move on.
If you are nice to her and have a relationship, this shouldn't be a problem in the first place and moreover, who knows if she would have told you but your behaviour might have stopped her.
Move on, be nice to her, treat her well, stop seeing her as a nanny cos nannies are also humans and respect her and she will also respect you and even see you as her helper if she is a good person.
Life is too short to look down on anybody.
Bitter,jealous woman,is ur nanny not a human being,does she not deserve happiness,why are u treating her with so much disdain? it’s ur type that they pray against in church,any power standing in the way of my progress and testimony die by FIRE!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahaha. You’re not serious o
DeleteMadam you are just jealous...own it biko
ReplyDeleteThis poster has deep rooted issues. Our mindset is so warped and you need to get off your high horse.ou keep shouting your nanny,your houselhelp....did she come into this world as a nanny or househelp? Are you better than her simply because you were more privileged? You talk about your husband's wealth,what kind of family do our come from? Stop being a nuisance and get off your bloody high horse. If you had a good relationship with that woman in the first place, and treated her first as a human being and not your bloody help,it won't be so hard to accord her the respect her new status deserves. Nanny my foot.
ReplyDeleteFood for thought;be gracious and respectful to all, especially to those you are higher,richer,more educated than...Treat the "poor" with respect,love and dignity..
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything wrong with that,what if she weren't your nanny?The problem is that you think she's beneath you and should remain there.Thankfully,no one has monopoly of providence so I suggest you get down from your high horse an accept the situation,it's not like you have a choice anyway....
ReplyDeleteHaba Madam! You should have even tried to make her your paddy since na! Whether you like it or not, she is now your step- mother in law. You better be nice to her before she potions her husbands mind against you and your husband
ReplyDeleteAlso madam, stop looking down on people. Being a nanny is an honourable job, stop behaving like you are better than her
Well madam, drive to the best pharmacy in your area and buy the best brand of chill pill that they have and take 2x3 times a day!!! Just imagine, so because she was your maid she doesn't deserve a good life abi??? Please increase the dosage of the chill pill jorr and allow your new mother in-law rest and enjoy her pregnancy and new marriage mbok.
ReplyDeleteOnyemaechi (who knows tomorrow), if men were God 🤐, let me stop here
ReplyDeletePoster I am sure you are one of those women that treat their maids like equal, she eats from your pot and wears your clothes and you even buy jewelry for her all in a bid to make her ‘not feel like the help’ 😂 eh hen now, this is what happens to women like you in the end, you are even lucky , she should have actually taken your husband.
ReplyDeleteAll you women that continue to downgrade yourselves by treating your maids as if they are equal to you ( when they are not), this is what will happen to all of you, Na your husbands dem go dey take. Stella post my epistle o! I need to warn these daft housewives that never draw the line between themselves and their maids. Chanting online up and down that they do this and do that for their maids, they even travel and buy them designer clothes 😂 awon Apoda !
Unpopular truth. Who would be placed in such a situation and not be confused. Poster is probably older but would call her mummy. No be only mummy. It's not just the nanny thing.
DeleteSuch a nasty comment.
DeleteAt the end of the day, EVERYONE will end up 6ft below, the earth does not know if you are madam or maid, continue to treat people anyhow you hear. Oshisco.
This is so true you need to draw the line not in a condescending manner tho because of see finish
DeleteYou must be a teenager to have written this. Like you don't know life can humble you. You might end up being in the househelp' s position tomorrow. How would you feel if you are treated shabbily.
DeleteOn a second thought, you might actually be a poor church rat sef. I have come to notice that only poor people have disdain for their fellow poor people. You hardly see the rich attach some much importance to money and status.
22.47 👌👌
Delete22.47 you obviously do not roll in the upper class that is why you will never know how they think or feel about these things. You are such a fool To think they don’t attach importance to class , status and money ! Omg 😱 let me show my friends this ur comment . You are such a big fool
Delete22:47 and 00:11 I understand where you both are coming from. However, the issue here is you both generalized.
DeleteAt the end, I think it has to do with the person involved, their outlook on life, walk with christ, personality and all.
I personally wouldn't mind if I was in the wife's situation and my nanny or house-keeper marries my Father-in-Love but that would be if she was a bit older just to calm my fears. I doubt the friends I keep would be disturbed as well. His happiness at that age would be my utmost priority yet my only concern would be the age difference so I might be sceptical about her true intentions and scared he might end up getting hurt or used getting entangled with her.
Besides the man's children are the real upper class in this story and not the wife(else she won't be drooling over her husband's family wealthy status and laying emphasis on the fact that he has houses all over the world. For a supposed upper class she seemed easily impressed) and they aren't bothered in the least so in a way that gave credence to what anon 22:47 is saying. The children comes from old money and they don't seem to care.
00.11 look in the mirror, you will see the fool in there. Will upper class take you to heaven, or do they have 2 heads? Money that can develop wings and fly is what this one is being so full of herself about. You will learn, don't worry.
DeleteSome of you who hire house help have too many complexes. Many iof you have this air of superiority and expect that these ppl should never advance in life and if they do advance not to a level more than you. This woman took care of your children without ever harming them, who would be better to take care of your father-in-law?
ReplyDeleteA man knows where his own comfort lies, who are you to dictate who should be his comfort. You who have your own husband and home would prefer to see another woman as a single mother than for the very man who impregnated her to settle her appropriately. Because of your own fears that the woman you saw has beneath you will come to have a life even more luxurious than your own. Let the old man get his comfort where he finds it. You do not know how many years he has left in this life, let him be happy while it lasts. We all must depart this place, not a damn thing is as important as it seems. That woman has probably broken a generational curse of poverty in her family, and maybe even this child will be the only one she will ever have. If you can't be happy for her then be at peace that she is settled and the child will know its father.
I am anon 16.39 and I honestly think this story is a lie. The poster is just catching cruise. No need giving any maid /nanny hopeless hope. There is no rich man worth his salt that will pay bride price for any ‘maid’ . They can keep them hidden somewhere as mistress but they will never blatantly come out in the open with them in the midst of their friends. Where do they want to take them to ? Ikoyi club, boat club or is it Yoruba tennis club? Where? This story never happened. Which jazz does the maid have that she will not meet stronger one where she wants not chook her head. Or you think a lot of rich people became rich ‘just like that’. Abeg
DeleteSorry, it happens. You would love to believe it doesn't but it does happen every darn day in this world. EVERYDAY! Men marry women who are not of the same social standing as they are and vice versa. Because you don't see it doesn't mean it is not happening. The truth is absolute and does not require your belief or personal knowledge for the truth to exist. My family's doctor got married to a woman who was a vendor selling home-made snacks on the street corner. An extremely talented doctor with a stellar reputation and from a family of doctors himself, not any fly by night. He stood right there in the church and got married to that lady, she was poor but humble and of a clean character.
DeleteThe Japanese princess just gave up her title to marry her commoner boyfriend and didn't even take the one million dollars payout to leave the royal family. Her husband is the child of a single mother. Matt Damon at the height of his fame got involved with a waitress he met in some bar or somewhere and got married to her, they are still together. Real men don't give a flying fck about society and what society thinks. When Moses took the Ethiopian woman as a wife what happened to his sister who was staunchly against the marriage? What God has ordained NOBODY can stop! Mouths must talk and that's all they can do, talk.
Whether the story is fake or real is neither here nor there to me. Many think they are superior to those they hire and do not want to see their staff advance in life, or advance beyond what they think is appropriate.. Some of them pay dirt and treat them like it because they feel their status is call to do harm to others whether mentally of physically. Riches without honour or character is garbage. I have aligned myself with infinite riches and the real, absolute power in the universe, the Creator of all that is. For those who want to go crazy about earth people riches and status, may they find it worthwhile. I have bigger dreams than what any earthly man or woman can provide. I have NO personal earthly ambitions so I have no use for the wealthy or their connections.
Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwa @ new mother in law
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong
ReplyDeletePlease let them be as long as papa is happy
Madam please for your own good let them be. Accept their union and give them their respect.
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteOpen your heart and accept your father in-law’s new wife and step-mum to your husband. Search your heart and be kind. You sound like you have been listening to friends when you say “maid”. She is also a person whom you trusted enough to entrust the management of your home and taking care of your children. You can surely give her credit for the good work she has done in your life. Let her go abeg and MOVE ON!
as per your living arrangement, it is a topic that you have tactically speak to your husband about, not in a malicious manner so that he will hear you.
Lastly, let go of those over sabi friends. Embrace the kindness in your heart.
Hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteThe issue I have with this chronicle, is a 32 year old woman sleeping with a 65 year old man! I am 32 myself, and could never sleep with a man old enough to be my dad!
Are we sure the grandpa is the "owner" of the pregnancy?
Are we sure this is not a money-grabbing scheme?
Do you guys really think the nanny is in love with the old man?
The fact that their 'dating' was done in secret, makes me weary, about the motive!
At 65, he is about to be doing night-feeds, changing diapers and potty-training all over again. He will be 83/84 when the child is 18! 😓😓
Hanty poster, you are wicked. Kai! It's people like you that will never allow someone else to be better than them.
ReplyDeleteGod bless your hubby and father in-law.
Poster you are selfish, wicked, heartless, why are you complaining about your nanny? So grandpa should not be happy cos the girl he found as his companion is your nanny.
ReplyDeleteYou should be happy of grooming up a good nanny that is now your family member, I was thinking your husband is sleeping with her but found out is your father in law, please face your home and allow the girl to enjoy herself.
You didn't do your home work well, you gave her freedom and kept on forming madam till soap entered your eyes now you want to start making issues, expecting your husband to support you madam go and sleep.
This nanny is a smart one. Abeg, follow enjoy wealthy home. Same issue like this happened years back on my street.
ReplyDeleteMadam why not thank your stars , it wasn't your husband that impregnated her 🙄
ReplyDeleteWhy won't your husband and his siblings be in support? Of course they want their father to be happy and well taken care of. You better cooperate with the new madam so that you will not lose your home. You can see your husband is also in Support, they will start seeing you as a rebel soon and plan your exit if you don't change
ReplyDeleteAm very sure one of d reasons u married ur hubby is bcoz of his wealth. U saw ur prayers answered to av lucky married him. U fasted and cried maybe and God answered. Bt u ddnt want God to answer another woman prayer. Ironically it is ur type that secure seat in the front row in the church seeking attention through their wealth so to b called religious woman. Bt ur maid is living in abject poverty. U r not only wicked u r a disgrace to womanhood
ReplyDelete