Hmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED AND UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY.
Stella pls help me to post in the Chronicles section...
I am a lady of 28 years old. have been trusting God for a life partner and, I met Vincent and I am happy cus he is residing in my state.
I don't really like long distance relationship. I am a Christian that believes pre marital s#x is a sin. I told Vincent that we are not going to having s#x in the relationship and he told me he is ok with it.
I prayed to God to know his mind about Vincent but response wasn't forthcoming. I called one of my closest pastor who prayed with me . My pastor called and told me that God said Vincent was the perfect man for me. Vincent is a hustler and he is financially comfortable to an extent.
The first time I went to pay Vincent a visit, he tried romancing me and cuddling me I told him that I am a virgin that we should keep it till our wedding night. He said no problem. I visited him the second time and he forcefully had s#x with me.
I begged him to please not to go ahead. He didn't till blood covered his dick and the bed sheet. He started pleading with me that he never knew I was truly a virgin that he is going to marry me. BVs I am confused, I don't know if I continue the relationship again or not my parents are on my neck to get married.
If I continue the relationship Vincent will keep having pre marital s#x with me which is against my Christian beliefs. The odd of him getting married to me is in God's hands I don't know if he wants chop and go or he really wants to settle down with me.
I called off the relationship with him for lying to me that he will comply with my No sex stand. He pleaded with me. He said he wanted to have his way so that I can get pregnant so that he can come and perform marital rites, he said he wanted us to be spiritually connected so that I won't leave him.
He is a nice guy though but his premarital s#x stand is contrary to my Christian beliefs. Should I continue the relationship with him or I should keep trusting God for another man that would be a genuine Christian.
*Are you really a Christian or an emergency one because you are looking for a husband? This man RAPED YOU and you are not even talking about that but coming to ask us if you should continue with him to see if he will marry you as your parents are on your case to get married...
THIS MAN RAPED YOU; do you want to marry a Rapist? Do you not think this is a red flag?
The first time you visited him and he tried to romance you, why did you go a second time? why?
Forget what that Pastor told you, DO NOT MARRY A MAN WHO RAPED YOU!!!
Means he raped you, period. If you want to marry your rapist, that's is on your conscience.
ReplyDeleteGirl, apart from the fact that he coerced you into having sex with him. I think you are just saying forced to clear your christian conscience. Yea, apart from that, I wonder how people think. You haven't done blood work with someone and you're having sex with them really? Even if you are not a christian wouldn't you at least check rhesus, genotype, viruses and other germs? People are trying really. Virgin doesn't mean virus free I hope many people know that. I'm a virgin myself and pray God helps me give it to my husband. I was saving my first kiss for my wedding day as well but a sweet talker took it and almost 'forced' himself on me as well.
DeleteAnd why was she visiting and visiting him ??
DeleteVictim blaming a person for rape?
DeleteIs that what we are doing now?
You blame her for visiting her bf or blame the man for having no self control?
Wow
So shes a child that doesn't know what force means abi?
Dear poster, he is your rapist and I won't encourage you to marry him.
You should have reported him to the police, boyfriend or not, consent is key.
Don't marry a man who doesn't have self control, before he rapes your own sister
Na WA Sha... Women really don't know what they want. That Was RAPE!! Leave that nigga. He ain't good for you. It takes a particular kind of evil personality to rape a virgin
DeleteThat he didn't believe you is NO excuse!
I feel very sad reading this. You lost your virginity to a man who forcefully had sex with you. As painful as it may sound, this man has no self control and does not love you enough to wait for you.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely, you're not on the same page since he wants you to be pregnant first. I doubt of he's a true Christian in the first place.
I think you should just use your tongue to count your teeth as you mourn the priceless and precious loss if your virginity to a man that is not worth it
He's NOT a nice person! Even the ones that didn't rape me but found a way to sleep with me ,I left them. Leave that guy!
ReplyDeletehmmm.found a way
DeletePoster are you sure he forced himself on you? You not seeing any crime in this shows you also want it.
ReplyDeleteI am confuse on what to say here. The story does not seat well with me.
I am 36 years and still single, waiting for the right man. So poster, why are you pressuring yourself. He will not only keep raping you buh will rape everyone around you. Where is your sense of reasoning girl? Is not better to marry right than to marry early to a rapist. Hmmmm desperation never pays.
ReplyDeleteIt's about that time you moved on with your life and 👋 forget about the rapist cos he's not worth it at all...Why do most parents put their children under pressure? It's wonky
ReplyDeleteVincent wants to check if truly you are a virgin.
ReplyDeleteVincent wants to get you pregnant so he can come and perform marital right.
Meaning without pregnancy he won't do the right thing.
Look at what desperation has landed you.
He is not a nice man
A nice man won't take advantage of you.
He wants more cookies that is why he came to apologise.
My dear close your legs let see if he will stay.
Exactly, close your legs and see if he can keep to it. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance if it wasn't rape, that is why Bible said run from all temptation, been that close is very difficult most times, that is why they will advise you in counseling to go with someone to his house and not go alone.
DeleteMake him understand that this was rape, if you can forgive him, give him another chance but insist no sex and tell him if he cant wait till wedding, he should go as you both dont have same principles/believes. If he is okay with that then dont visit him alone again. The spirit is willing but the flesh is always, I mean always weak.
Just pray to God and ask for his forgiveness, tell him that if this is not the man, he should just remove your mind from him (bcos it is not easy doing it yourself in this desperate state.)
Poster I am sorry that you were raped...Please listen to yourself, someone RAPED YOU and you think marrying him would cover the 'shame'? This guy should be cooling his feet in a police cell.You are saying he is a nice guy, will a nice guy be forcing himself on someone who claims to love you...This is why you need to know God for yourself and stop being spiritually lazy? You feel God no wan answer me so make I follow man mandate concerning this marriage...You sound very desperate...What if God's silence was because your spirit man was noisy, loud and could not listen to his still small voice? What if his silence is because you have carried IDOLs in your heart and God is telling you NO THIS IS NOT MY WILL for you my daughter....
ReplyDeleteThis guy did you wrong stop helping him cover his sin and crime...Where is your self worth? He wants to spiritually connect to you by having sex? Abeg 2nd base jare...
P.S Report this to your parents what he did to you and think of how to get justice Please!!
Did he really rape you or it was a case of "stop na, it's sweet paining me"? If he didn't rape you, then maybe you should give him another chance since you said he's a nice guy, that's if he's willing can keep to his word of abstaining till marriage.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I just read this comment. So a 28 years old woman won't know when she's been raped. Is she a teenager to be doing "sweet paining me?"
DeleteWe don't need to comment on every post. Rape is a sensitive matter and should be treated as such. She should marry her rapist after all it's "sweet paining me" she did? I lack words for you.
Sorry Minver, Chummy Choo is right. 28yrs is not a baby. They tried romancing her 1st time and she went again. Was she giving mixed signals?
DeleteI hate when people make statements like this.
DeleteWhat kind of statement is this
If she was your child, would you ask such a stupid question? God!
My friend married a guy that forced her to have sex with him. In fact he raped her. Anyway they have been married for 15 years with 3 children and they seem very happy. I told her not to marry him but she went ahead and did her mind and thank God it worked out. So poster it’s up to u. U can Marry him and accept anything that comes with it or u can walk away and take things from there. It’s truly only ur decision. Good luck dear.
DeleteThank you
DeleteI am in my 40s and single but no desperation will make me marry this kind of man. It is better to remain single than marry a rapist. Na single I single, i no kill person.
ReplyDeleteTry born one pikin even if marriage no follow so you don’t feel and loose out completely 🙏
DeleteTo born one pikin is not compulsory, same desperation we’re talking about. It’s not everyone that has a child. So stop with your stupid comment. Desperados everywhere. Mind you, everyone is not as desperate as you. Heaven is the goal and not the cares of this world. If it’s God’s will that she will marry, she will and have kids, people still birth in their 40s. If not, then so be it. Keep your stinking advise to your desperate self.
DeleteAbeg, one can always adopt.
Delete@15:27
DeleteAre you a messenger of Satan; did she ask you for advice?
You are using a prayer emoji and advising one to go and have a baby out of wedlock or are you talking
about IVF? If so, will you give her the funds to take care of herself and the baby?
@16:18 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Please don't be a single mother ooo. It's the hardest job on earth I tell you.
Delete@15:27 "born one pikin" is that all there is to life? such myopic advice...
DeleteThis life enh
DeletePeople will just project their negative ideas on you, did she tell you she's looking for a child?
What am I reading today guhn
poster a man who does not respect your values/ beliefs is a red flag
ReplyDeleteThat your pastor didn't see any vision on that RAPIST.
DeleteIf you're still considering marrying that RAPIST then its safe to say that you enjoyed what he did to you.
So because your parents wants you to get married, you're seriously thinking of marrying someone with all the red flags🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 in the world.
It is not easy for someone like the poster who had hoped to to be a virgin till marriage to lose it in such circumstances. Definitely she feels guilty and maybe even useless, that is why she is considering marrying the man, her reasoning could be since he took it, and she is under pressure to marry, she may just as well marry him. The man is also giving her mixed signals that he wants to marry her so their having sex is okay. This is a script that plays out a lot, it is a pity. I suspect he doesn't even want to marry her, and even if he does what kind of marriage will that be? Can he be faithful in marriage? Has he shown himself to be trustworthy?
DeleteMy dear poster take some hugs ������. Take some deep breaths and know that things will be okay. You need to get back to God, ask for forgiveness and build your relationship with Him. Ask Him to lead and guide you. Receive His peace. Know that God loves you very much and you are not useless even though you are no longer a virgin. I think you will need to work on your self esteem and confidence. Also don't allow yourself to be pressurized about marriage. Take your fears to God and trust Him by faith. If you are depressed seek counseling. I think it is better you stay away from the man who raped you because you are obviously unequally yoked with him. Two cannot walk together except they agree. Pray for God to break all soul ties formed with him. Pray for someone you are compatible with and who is a true believer. And please learn from this experience. Because now some men will tell you since you are no longer a virgin why shouldn't you sleep with them? They will try to make you feel less than who God created you to be and make you further comit sin. And if you are desperate for marriage you will give in, keep feeling guilty and may still get dumped. Even if such marry you, you won't be happy because you don't have the same mindset.
So take it easy my dear. You will get the best and you will be fine. Please don't continue with this situationship.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks to read this kind of avoidable issues.
"My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me..." John 10:27
If you do not hear the voice of the master Jesus, you need to learn to be
in his presence.
It is not the shepherds ("pastors") that hear his voice only. He said "His sheep"
And which pastor or believer in Christ bases his assesment of another believer based on "finance" and not
character? You see that you need to dump both this "Vincent' and that "pastor?"
He led you like a sheep to this Vincent's slaughter house and the
blood bears the testimony.
Let the Holy Spirit lead you for all that are his daughters are led by the Spirit of God.
Poster, don't go to his house again no matter the sweet talk.
DeleteI blame you for going to his house shah.
If he loves and wanna marry you, then let him bring his people to come and see your people, after that, don't go to his house, till after wedding. If he can't do it, END it for good and repent.
@Mao
DeleteAre you for real; "after the wedding?"
Which wedding are you talking about here; with her rapist?
Or you wanted to write "weeding?"
Wow!
You were raped.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know why you keep describing it as happenstance. Ugh! You sound naive.
You need thorough counselling and sex education cos men will continue taking advantage of you because you are desperate for marriage.
This marriage thing. If you can marry a man that raped you, go ahead. You did not even mention if the guy is a fellow christian like you. He even want to get you pregnant before marriage. See, if you are desperate for marriage, go ahead and be ready to face whatever comes out of it. But this kind of guy may still not pay your dowry after he must have sucked you like fiofio.
ReplyDeleteHE IS NOT A NICE GUY!!!
ReplyDeleteYou want to marry your rapist? He is a molester and you will have many sordid stories waiting for you in the future if you marry him. I am so sorry he stole something you kept for 28years but its ok. You lost something but you shouldn't loose more by marrying him. Find healing and move on. Tell your family to get off your matter till Gods will is done.
Honestly this is clearly a case of rape no matter how you tried to paint it...
ReplyDeleteThe issue with hearing from God over marriage is straight but we all want to hear Him in a loud and trembling voice calling out our names when it comes to marriage matters neglecting how He speaks to us before.
ReplyDeleteGod speaks to His children but someone of us except His voice in a particular way which we've not created a relationship for.
That guy will continue to take advantage of your naivety, he raped you, babe! Your conversation with him should be about rape or you report him to the right authority not getting pregnant before the marriage talk you are both having.
He will continue to have you on his bed as much as he likes if you buy his 'get pregnant before marriage talk' and discharges you with those funny lines of 'genotype, my mum says I can't marry outside our town'
Make your way back to God, forget what your pastor says. Any man that is for you won't tread such a path.
Forgive yourself and move on, there's a nobleman patiently waiting for you.
Sorry nne for your plight.
ReplyDeletePlease permit me to say that if you have been visiting this blog for a while, you would have learned that
even from Scriptures, "pastors" do not match make. God have not given any human that responsibility in the Church of Jesus Christ.
Your marriage is based on the conviction of the Spirit of Jesus just like your salvation is based on that.
Please stop mortgaging your life decisions to "pastors."
And you could see that this man was not a believer in Christ and you began to court him.
Again, going to his house was a huge mistake.
Please do not ever marry this man.
Stay away from him and go and treat yourself.
Please learn to fast and pray as a habit not only when you need to get married. Interaction with Jesus is so
sweet and plain. He does not hide his will.
Shalom. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Poster break up with him. He raped you.
ReplyDeleteWhen you prayed and did not get an answer that was God's way of telling you, "NO COMMENT". When God is silence is also given you a reply which means a very loud NO!
Please stop bothering yourself with a pastor. know God for thyself.
Forgive yourself the deed has been done but you would be harming yourself by continuing with him. Hope you went to the hospital to do some check up.
There was one advice I saw here on spontaneous post let me look for it and repost for other virgins or celibates so they would be careful.
He said he wanted to have his way so that I can get pregnant so that he can come and perform marital rites, he said he wanted us to be spiritually connected so that I won't leave him.
ReplyDeleteHow old are you poster??? A man raped u,forcefully had sex with you and u are here asking if you should go ahead with the relationship.i have no advice for you please I’m having sore throat today.
Pele. Take septril. It works wonders.😂😂😂
Delete"He is a nice guy?" Huh. Did I read right.
ReplyDelete*wipes my eyes and read again*
Shush!
A rapist is not a nice guy and never will be. This man is not even a church goer not to talk of a Christian. You are marrying an unbeliever with koro koro eyes.
And please, his marriage to you is in your hands not God's.
shebi you've seen money and want to die there? ok,
This poster will go ahead to marry him! She would say because he took her Virginity she should stay! This I have seen!!
ReplyDeleteSo if we advice you to continue the relationship, you would continue to have sex with him.? No let man chop you gwogwo biko, give yaself brain
I 've been there. Attached so much to my virginity that today I wonder why I was such a slave to it. Thank God I didn't get raped, I am sure I would have been more confused than this poster. We have all told her to leave him, will she?
DeleteFirst of all, you do not sound like a Christian. You sought the face of God concerning something, God was silent and instead of you to know that God's silence always means "hold on" or "wait" you went ahead to enquire from a man. A mere man with the title of pastor. Clap for yourself!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, this person raped you. You're not even bothered or concerned about the fact that you were raped; more so, by a person who claims to want to marry you. You're not even angry, your own is whether you should continue dating the rapist or not. Haaa! who did you people this thing with pressure for marriage?
In all honesty, I don't know whether to believe that Vincent actually forced you, because you don't sound like a person who knew the value of keeping their bodies pure until marriage.
Go and kneel before God and ask Him to forgive you. Surrender your life to Him and ask him to lead you. God cannot lead you to marry a rapist!
Poster go and tell the pastor to give you the remaining part of the prophecy since the man he said is your man raped you.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure this is a rape case or a case of "one thing lead to the other and we had sex", because you are not worried about the rape.
Na wa...o,if you cant stay in the relationship you quit
ReplyDeleteThis is serious. First of all why call your pastor to ask if the guy is the right one for you. you have mouth to pray and heart to believe God. God would have one way or another given you a sign or a confirmation if you had an open mind. But the pressure from your parents and desperation on your side wouldn't let you be patient and attentive to the signs.
ReplyDeleteAs for the guy, he is a liar and incoherent. first he said he didn't really believe you were a virgin after he saw blood that means he wanted to be sure by forcing himself on you. Secondly, he said he wanted you to get pregnant before proceeding to perform the marriage rite. would you want to be with someone who doesn't believe you and who would want you to get pregnant first before marriage?
You should not continue with him as both of you do not share same ideology. Aren't you scared or even shocked that a man who professed his love for you could force himself on you.
Parents too should be patient and care about their daughters getting it right rather than fast.
Guys if you don't buy into the idea of a no sex relationship kindly let the lady know. it's not a do or die affair as you can always get people who share same ideology as you.
Finally, relax and let your parents know that their pressure is beclouding your sense of judgment
There are lots of ladies who do not mind and who loves premarital sex too. Why hurt someone else. the mistake she made was saying she was a virgin. no man needs to know till after marriage. it has been said here before else they would keep you like a trophy while cheating without your knowledge or force themselves on the lady for bragging rights. I feel really sorry for her and it is a pity she is still thinking of marrying the demon.
DeleteIf you didn't list your age as 28, I would have thought you were a teenager!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think you should hold off on marriage for a while - you have a lot of mental growth to accomplish first!
Listen Poster,
ReplyDeleteThe guy NEVER loved you.
He RAPED you.
He will NEVER marry you.
Do whatever you want with the above information.
I'm a man as well.
if he wants to marry you let him marry you ok. he is a nice person, maybe he didn't want to lose you that is it
ReplyDeleteAin't no good enough excuse to rape anybody. No means NO!
DeleteDid your pastor tell you God told him that this man is perfect for you, because I am lost!!!!! How did God tell him that?
ReplyDeleteCan't you use your brain, eyes and pray for yourself as well. How can you rely entirely on your pastor to make weighty life decisions for you.
What is wrong with you nahh!!!!!!!
Now, I can understand the desire to want to have sex, but I can't understand the part of forcing you. I have not had sex yet, I have been dating my fiance for almost 5 years. In all that time, he has begged for sex even though we agreed on a no sex relationship, but HE HAS NEVER FORCED me , even when we take holidays together.
If he could force you, then know that he can and WILL force others, including your house help if you go ahead with this scam of a relationship.
Now, I know you are desperate and confused because you don't have a lot of suitors, but would you rather be married to a foe?
Pretend that this is not your Chronicle and listen to the STUPID Excuses he is giving you :
1. Forcefully had sex with you on your SECOND visit (This points to the absence of self control). Whatever you do, avoid a Mann that lacks self-control. He will sleep with everything that passes by, including your relations and domestic workers.
2. Because he is morally bankrupt, he did not believe you are abstaining from sex, because for him, it is impossible. In order words, he doesn't trust you.
3.He wants you to get pregnant before he will make you an honourable woman by marrying you properly? And you bought this stupid excuse as valid for forcefully sleeping with you?
4. He wants you to be spiritually connected , so you wouldn't leave him? His thinking is twisted. Haven't men left women they slept with? Why did he not consider other ways of building a lasting relationship with you , he resorted to forceful sex to build a spiritual bond. Are you not worried? If he has to forcefully sleep with you in order for you not to leave him, then this guy is not alright. He is even insecure and controlling.
In view of the above,can you please advise the Poster of this chronicle?
You are not worried about the bad character,lack of virtue and unsuitability of this man for you, you are only worried that HE WANTS TO CHOP AND GO!!!!!
So if he decides to marry you, you GO GREE?
Nah wah. May God help us not to be desperate.
OYA ADVISE THE POSTER!!!!!
Someone forced himself on me the second time I visited him, when he barely knew me, I refused to date and marry him. He married someone else and a few weeks after his wedding was still begging me to allow him rub his peni* around my vagi**.
I was glad I didn't marry him.
I know this is not about you but even you need advice.
DeleteYour boyfriend obviously does not have the same view with you concerning premarital sex He keeps begging you for it? Hope you won't get angry knowing he gets it else where for five years?
You don't want premarital sex but you go on holidays alone with him? Why are you teasing him? He is respectful enough not to force and that is the only difference between you and the poster. This is why you are lucky others who tries that might not be lucky and end up like the poster. Why date someone who doesn't believe in the same thing with you?
It se Ms you enjoyed the sex but just covering with no sex before marriage Christian thing. Be convinced about what you want and what you stand for. It
ReplyDeleteThis is a warped way to think, but you are not female so maybe it is difficult for you to understand what the poster went through. Forcing someone to have sex when it has initially been discussed and agreed to not have sex is a big no.
DeleteSorry but did oga Vincent actually rape you 😳😳😥
ReplyDeleteOkay how will you describe what he did?
DeleteSo sorry you went through that. I don't know who told your pastor that man is the perfect man for you, but he is a rapist. You still want to go ahead with the so called relationship? Jeez! Imagine him telling you why he had his way with you. I believe you are not the first he has done this to. Report him ASAP, cut off every means of communication.
ReplyDeleteMy dear do you realise you were raped? Please you have no business marrying a rapist.
ReplyDeleteGetting married to him now might look like an easy way out for you now, but just think about your future, you will be waking up next to your rapist every single day of your life. You will always worry about any female that stays in your house including your own daughters. Do you want that kind of wahala?
Secondly, the man is not a Christian at all. He planned to rape you and get you pregnant. Haba! Even unbelievers don't behave like that
Your Pastor who told you he is your husband is a human being and can also make mistakes o
Vincent is a RAPIST!!!! Marry him at your own peril. You have gotten your answers though in a rude way.
ReplyDeleteHe RAPED You. End of story.. Leave that guy he's an animal. He'll do worse after ona marry.
ReplyDeleteStella ooo. 😂😂😂😂 No be small emergency Christian.
ReplyDelete1. You went visiting a man you are not married or engaged to.
2. He showed you signs of what he really wants the first time. You went back again as a miracle worker to perform miracles of transforming an unbeliever to a believer. Which Christian man asks a woman for sex on the first date? Infact, leave Christian aside. Which decent man will ask for sex on first date, second date is rape. And here you are still extolling him saying that he is a nice guy. 😂😂😂. You neva talk true. A man that raped you is a nice guy?!!! Hehe. I laugh in Spanish.
Thing is, your virginity didn't mean anything to you. You were probably looking for a way to get rid of it, if not, after he behaved that way the first time, you would have cut off completely. One common thing with all virgins is that, they are extremely careful. They don't put themselves in precarious positions. To avoid stories that touch.
Secondly, you don't know what you want. You belong to the group of women who think that marriage is the ultimate in a woman's life. And that there is a certain age a woman shouldn't exceed before getting married, which is thirty years. Therefore, anything wearing trousers and has a phallus can be a husband. Abi I lie?
Forget that story of your parents putting pressure on you. You are just looking for who to blame for your carelessness. Are there not things that your parents have asked you to do that you refused? Why is it that it is marriage that you suddenly want to become an obedient child? You are the one desperate. Leave your innocent parents out of this. You even get luck say no be yahoo boy rape you. You for dey yarn different tory now.
What is annoying about this chronicle is that you knew quite well the kind of man he is but you just wanted husband. No iota of respect for yourself, your virginity, and your bright destiny. You are ready to throw all away just to answer Mrs.
If truly you are a Christian, you won't need anybody to tell you that that man isn't a Christian and that he has no plans for you.
My advice:
1. First ascertain that you are a Christian. If you are not, then give your life to Jesus afresh.
2. Get busy with your life. Set goals and achieve them. Start making money as much as you can.
3. Dedicate your life in service to God and humanity.
4. Don't mingle with the kind of people you can't marry. If not you go write chronicle tire.
5. Keep praying for a Christian man. Then take your mind off marriage. It will come when you least expect it. And gloriously it will.
Also, read my comment on this chronicle.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2021/10/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_01697225192.html%3Fm%3D1&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwijuqrNyJD0AhUFKewKHUwbAdkQFnoECAUQAg&usg=AOvVaw3K-dlS7xcg20CP5Yh0Sz7z
Cut off from that man.
If she has fallen in love with him, all our comments may not help o since na marriage she wants.
DeleteThis is the correct link to the chronicle @jechix, the one you posted is not opening
Deletehttps://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2021/10/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_01697225192.html?m=1
I honestly don't believe the poster is telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You are not pained for what he did to you. Rape is a CRIME against HUMANIYY !
ReplyDeleteVINCENT RAPED YOU! Why is he not in custody yet? . Why allow a bloody rapist be on the loose to continue perpetuating such evil. Dear poster Vincent raped you!!!.
ReplyDeleteThat’s all I see from this chronicles. The only business you should have with this Vincent is making sure no one else has to go through what you went through in his hands.
How can you be talking about marriage with someone that has no respect for you and your decisions. It’s your body if your decision was not ok for him he could have called off the relationship. He could have infected you with HIV hope you screened your self after the CRIME.
IF you go on with this relationship just know people never change, he would go on to rape your house helps and even sisters if not daughters.
Don’t be an enabler.
Nne, marry him. Trust me, it will go well esp if na Igbo business man. I have my reasons, forget all these rape talks bcos u know the real truth. Just ask for collateral.
ReplyDeleteYou do know marriage is more than virginity right? If a man does not respect you enough to uphold your values, then whatever you see in the marriage TAKE IT!
DeleteTo be forewarned is to be forearmed.
Are you really serious or joking?
DeleteShe should marry a man who does not respect her? Poster, that man will treat you like a slave. Virginity is not a guarantee for a man to treat you well in marriage. You can still get a good man to marry you.
DeleteDear poster, let me use myself to show you how things can possibly go. My fiance raped me in my apartment. No, it wasn't a make out session go wrong. It was a violent rape because he couldn't wait any longer. My world was shattered. But the shame I felt made me think if I reported or told my parents, I would be blamed. Like you, I was told he was my husband. After the incident I knew it would not work. But I felt trapped. I worked towards a wedding and marriage with him because I believed I was damaged. Who would want me after this? But I prayed for rescue. I didn't think my parents would understand and those days, rape wasn't treated the way it is now in Nigeria. My close friends knew something was wrong, but I never shared. Two months to the wedding, he called me and said he met someone else recently who was a better fit. I thanked him, hung up and cried for joy. My sister, get away from this man and heal. I don't know what went down, but you went through a traumatizing event and now want to stay because you are afraid of tomorrow and what people will say. Don't let pressure put you in a place of permanent abuse. Stop trying to excuse him too. God doesn't work the way people do and while painful, perhaps this was how you needed to see the true him. I don't know what you need to move on, but I pray you find out and get the strength to do what you have. May God's grace and light be with you.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry about what you went through. Thank God you didn’t end up with him
DeleteMost of what I wanted to say, poster is scared of leaving him and moving on, which is the best option.
DeleteAnon 17.45 sorry about your experience. Please can you share what happened later.
DeleteThank you and sorry
DeleteThis is it
A lot of people are naive towards rape, they always think they know how they will react, but one never does.
You may go into shock
Or be having an out of body experience
This lady actually sounds like someone who has no idea what a real relationship should look like.
She sounds like someone who has had her mother as her only role model of how a woman should be
She sounds like someone who goes to church but do not let the word of God go through her
Many of us haven't grown into the woman we are supposed to be.
Some decisions we made in the past can't be repeated by us today.
Please everyone be a little kind and cut her some slack abeg.
She actually seems inexperienced,which is no fault of hers.
Dear poster, you are loved
Don't rush in
You will regret it.
He telling you about that pregnancy talk was to further play on your intelligence.
A man who could bring up excuses instead of just apologizing isn't worth your beautiful soul.
Please move on
Grow, know and love yourself
A lot of women haven't come to know who they are supposed to be.
You were created to be more than a wife.
You are so much more.
17:45 that thing that prevented you from leaving your rapist fiance back then that you even proceeded to plan a wedding with him is what is dealing with this poster too.
DeleteI'm thinking this poster went to his place, they had foreplay, then guy proceeded to have his way.
How can you as a virgin who did not want sex go visiting a man in his house, alone? He tried to make out with you the first day, you still went alone the second day, a 28 yrs old lady? What happened to open place like eatery?
I know no matter what we say, you will still follow your mind, so follow your mind.
Am short of word
ReplyDeleteTo me run away from him, he is a rapisst
Poster this guy raped you for God's sake!
ReplyDeleteHe will keep raping you if you continue being alone with him even after you break up. He will suck you dry and leave you.
See, after discovering that you were a virgin wile raping you, he now said he wants you to get pregnant before he marries you, let me tell you my dear sister, he wants an excuse to keep sleeping with you, he will keep sleeping with you without protection until you get pregnant, then he will abandon you. He is not a nice man...
Which nice man rapes his woman, which nice man gives his woman a condition for marriage? What will happen if she loses the pregnancy or baby? He wi show the woman fire🔥
Turn deaf ears to your parent's pressure and work on yourself. Build yourself, step up on all aspects of your life, pray and ask God for forgiveness, a good man will come.
Don't marry that man just because he was the one that took your virginity. Some women make this mistake because they had promised God that any man that disvirgins them will be their husband, pls don't walk into fire. God will forgive you if you ask him for forgiveness. All the best I wish you.
As in, he didn't keep his word the first time is it second time he'll keep it? Lie/deceit is a red flag.
DeleteI'm sorry to say this. But if truly you are born again, you wouldn't be asking such a question. You will know what to do. Maybe your own born again is just in the area of "No Sex"
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteI think you are minimizing what he has done in your mind as a coping mechanism. You haven’t really processed how he has violated you. Nice men do not force themselves on women. Nice men do not manipulate and gaslight them. I think you should be objective and really think about the life you are about to get yourself into. How can a rapist be a husband?
ReplyDeletePoster i feel very sorry for what happened, i saw your comment on this on another post yesterday. The thing is what has happened has happened, i can imagine how you feel. The bible says can two walk together, except they be agreed (Amos3:3).I cant categorically say that man is or isn't your husband yet but for now you guys are not on the same page. There is nothing impossible for GOD, GOD can change him after now for you and it may not be possible as well.Do we know the amount of girls our favourite genuine pastors have forcefully taken advantage of before they repented?Im talking of the real men not fake now.I suggest you break up from the guy, forget the pressure from home to marry, seek GOD's face, rededicate yourself to GOD.GOD does not give us half bake, if he is the one for you, GOD will change him, you guys will court as believers and marry, if he isnt the one for you, GOD will bring a guy that agrees with everything that is scriptural, that GOD given spouse would not even care about who broke your virginity. Stop blaming yourself, let the peace of GOD be with you. Just move on and may the good LORD comfort you. If you need someone to talk to reach me on ardellqueen@yahoo.com.GOD bless you.
ReplyDeleteNO! Don't you ever. Infact avoid him completely and block his number. Ha! This is how good girls use korokoro eye to enter a lifetime of misery. Pls let mad people marry their fellow mad people and let bad/evil men find women wey tear eye that fits them as well. You, a good girl and Christian find your specie oh. If not this man will manipulate you forever, he will use your naivety to his satisfaction and in your goodness you'll do nothing. Pls say no, heal and wait on God. The secret to prayers is patience. Be patient.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry if my earlier comment was harsh. Truth is we were all brought up differently. I guess your parents were just like mine, teaching you to be goood and completely shielding you from bad. Luckily I went to boarding school so I learned that people can be bad. Bad people exist in this world and when you meet them, you must avoid them, or they will destroy you. Not everyone is good and kind and nice and has good intentions. And in the dating pool, many are not. You must wary of them. Be gentle as a dove but wise as a fox. I know you want to see the good in this man but he is bad for you, very bad.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the circumstances of the rape. But some are saying that maybe you guys made out etc and then the rape happened. If so, he is still bad. When I was young, two different guys I dated.. visited them at their place, we kissed and all, I spent the night.. but they stopped when I said no. They never made any attempt to rape, just went to bed. So this man here is a bad man, a rapist and criminal, period. I won't even advice any young girl to visit a man if she is a virgin or celibate cos it seems as time passes, the moral decay of the society gets worse. So what it was for me dating back then seems different now.
So I will advice you young ones, pls if you are celibate, avoid kissing, avoid being alone with a guy as much as you van, avoid visiting. Meet outdoors for at least 6 months with constant prayers and be watchful of tbeir character before you can trust to be alone with them. Have a list of red flags so that once you see them, you can flee from the man. Dig into the word of God, hold unto the word and put God first, above your desire for marriage. Good luck 👍
That your first paragragh. I just bookmarked it.
DeleteMy parent brought us up to be compassionate, empathetic and never hurting anyone but they did not warn us enough about the wicked heart of humans. When I went into the world and lived life I and my siblings had a huge shock.
We needed to constantly remind ourselves not everyone is good though it's tiring to be on our toes daily but it's helps us in life situation. The burden of always having to be good to people and still at the same time protecting ourselves from being used by the same people was overwhelming at first but now it is easy.
You will think because you are a certain way others are like that till it shocks you. Bad people exists! This is why I don't get too close to people easily to protect myself and I have trust issues. I did not go to boarding school.
I went to a day school but I still saw anger, jealousy, wickedness, young students mere teenagers, showing fake love and back biting, backstabbing themselves and jamming two heads together.
It is a cold world out there and most are after their own selfish gains. Even Bible said in the end times people are going to be lovers of themselves. Utmost care is needed to navigate life with total surrendering to Christ.
Thanks for you kind words to the lady. The poster is a good girl and very naive. I just wished she had fallen into the hands of one of those rare good men who would cherish her innocence and protect her. I feel deeply sorry for her. She met a very evil, manipulative and useless man.
God help her.🙏🏻
Thanks too and God bless you! Yes, may God help her🙏🏾
DeleteVincent RAPED you!!!! Leave him alone and move ahead with your life. Do not marry your rapist. There is no big deal in being single at 29. I got married at 25, divorced at 28, remarried at 40. Abeg life isnt hard and our God is the God of multiple chances.
ReplyDeleteSTOCKHOLM SYNDROME!!!!
ReplyDelete