Dr Freaks Journal - "Cunning Man Die, Cunning Man Bury Am"

Ever heard of the Yoruba words ''Olè Gbe, Olè Gbá" (Cunny man Die, cunny man bury am)

1996:
The naughty things that boys do....


The instant event took place around May 1996. An uncle who was at the time a diplomat had come visiting and he had extended a warm invitation to me and my brother. We were in our final years in our respective universities at the material time. I had indicated interest in the trip, but my brother who is 4 (four) years my senior had "bounced" me and elected to travel to Lagos alone to honour Uncle D's invitation.


In any event, I stayed back at home with my mum while my brother undertook the trip. I think he returned home 2 (two) days after with the long awaited goodies from Uncle D, Uncle D extended his greetings and gave both of us a sum of N10,000. Out of his magnanimity, Egbon decided to share the sum equally. I gladly accepted my own share of N5,000 and expressed my profound appreciation. Egbon went back to school almost immediately. I took my time because I needed to wait for certain items which I cannot really remember now. Later in the day, I decided to pass the night at my brother's school. I headed straight for his room since access was assured as I knew where he used to drop his key.


I needed to "rock" one of his T-shirts and Jeans as he was a fashionista at the time, whilst I attached little or no importance to such, but on this particular day I just wanted to look "good", for a change. In the process, my hand mistakenly hit one of the several suits hung in his wardrobe and behold I sighted a white envelope bulging out of the inner pocket, maybe due to its massive size or something. Out of curiosity, I opened the envelope and I saw wads of crispy notes and interestingly, the notes smelled like the ones in my pocket. Remember he had given me N5,000 earlier? 

I decided to probe by counting how much he had in the said envelope. He had N15,000 therein. I decided to probe further by matching the numbers and behold, the numbers matched serially! The only inference any reasonable person could have drawn at that stage was that Uncle D had actually given both of us N20,000 as against the N10,000 that was declared by my Egbon. Then, I sat down and thought of the way out/forward. 

I could not have confronted him at the time, for obvious reasons. He had an array of defences he could have dished out one from, after all, I did not catch him in the very act. The "Ogboju Omo" in me simply whispered in my ears, "possess your possession"! Then, like a sheep that was being led to the slaughter, I yielded to the inner voice in me by simply taking "my own" N5,000 (balance). 

I removed one of his T-shirts and Jeans and a new brown suede Chelsea boot and left for Benin! 

Thank God, there were no GSM phones at the time. Poor Egbon! 

He must have wailed and wailed but I was gone and I was already rocking my balance and his "baffs" in far away Benin. I think it took us another 1 (month) to reconverge again. Guess what, he was not even mad. He simply asked me to keep the T-shirt and Jeans and I think he asked me to pay him peanuts for the boot. Shockingly, he never brought up the issue of that N5,000 till today.


Looking back now, given the same opportunity again, I shall not hesitate to repossess my possession.

Its Kunle