STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADICE NEEDED
Stella pls post my Chronicles I have been believing God for a life partner for the past 4years.
I am a 28 old lady with a comfortable job. I met Kunle on a hot Sunday afternoon. Ever since then, he has been pestering me for a relationship.
He chatted me on Whatsapp and told me his story about how he got married to a white woman in Netherlands so as to secure a green card. He said he doesn't have a child yet that the marriage he did then was to get a citizenship card.
Kunle asked me to meet him in his house and I told him NO that we should hang out in a public place so that I can use the opportunity to know his intention about me. But he resisted the idea. He said we should meet in his house. Besides, I am a virgin so I am scared of meeting him in his house.
The meeting point has now become a subject of controversy. Kunle promised he can't rape me that he prefer me coming to his house while I insisted we meet in public like eateries, malls somewhere conducive for us to talk.
I told him I will pay my bills if that's what is keeping his hands tied. He said that's an insult that why should I pay my bills. I don't know him enough and I don't want a situation whereby I will be raped in the name of looking for a lover.
Have only met him once. I want a relationship that will lead to marriage and my parents are on my neck to get married.
Pls BVS should I go and meet him in his house damning the consequences or Should i forget him becus I am thinking why is he against hooking up with me in public?
*Please do not go to his house, this is how Rape happens and occurs. If he is not willing to meet with you in a public place, stop giving him audience and forget him... forget the conversation and dont mind him.... he probably lied to you about a lot of things, about his marital status and is probably serial with women....
Did you tell him you are a virgin in the course of having a conversation with him? He may be out to take your virginity....
Be careful.... He who runs into marriage, runs out.... forget the pressure and take your time.
Good luck.
This comment is to refer the reader to Stella’s comment. #ApplyWisdom
ReplyDeleteDon't go to his house, what is so special about it, and why is he refusing to meet in the open? He is not serious, next please!
DeleteIf u love urself u better seat your ass down.
DeleteIf he has good intentions he won't mind meeting u in a public place. Dat guy is a liar.
Lair from the pit of hell sef
DeleteDon't go to his house o...
DeleteDon't you dare go to his house...yes I am shouting
DeleteHaven't you heard of all the stories going around where people are butchered in the name of visitation.
A man that really cares to know you would be happy you even gave him a chance to see him again.
Don't let your desperation be the end of you cus "rape" may be the least of your troubles.
Don't go!!!
Dear women, set boundaries for yourself, any man that doesn't adjust to what suits you should bounce.
Poster you may go to his house and never come back. A month ago I was almost raped by a long time friend just because he moved close to my area and I went to greet him. I escaped due to will power accompanied by severe body pains and I'm much much older than you. If a well known person can do that what more a person you know nothing about. Please don't even think of going to his place or his friend's place.
DeleteLet me post this here so you see, poster. Is this Kunle in the medical field? Is he based in Lagos/one of the North Central states? Is he a gynaecologist? Hunky? If your answer to all these questions is yes. Please run. He is nothing but a bag of disappointment, he will use you and ghost you.
DeleteKunle has been casted😂😂😂😂.
DeleteBlock him don't contact him anymore,this is naija should rape happened you will be blame, your naked picture will be out you will be blackmail or gang rape or even killed don't go no where block him he lied to you period.
DeleteDON'T GO.
DeleteFORGET HIM, HE'S MARRIED AND DOESN'T want people to see him.
From personal experience, please do not go to his house. All that talk of feeling insulted because you said you will pay the bill for the outing na reversed psychology.
ReplyDeleteBesides, marriage for green card or not, hes married. Leave him and continue praying for your own husband. It might take a while but God will definitely answer your prayers when the timing is right.
He is not even a boyfriend material talkless of a husband material. He will still pester you but shakara him and move all the way onto the next one.
DeleteYou See that pressure and age-consciousness you have, that will be your undoing if you don't refocus your energy on building your career and having fun till a real man comes along. Nne, you have prayed. Trust that God has heard you and do the most with this season of singleness. Just make sure you have a firm idea of what you want in a husband and what you do not want so that you will be quick to recognise him when he shows up.
If you love yourself, do not meet that kunle in his house. Why is he so bent on you coming to his house? Have you asked yourself that question?
ReplyDeleteI mean, you are just getting to know each other, he should respect your decision.
This attitude of his is a huge red flag. It just shows that if you decide to marry him, your feelings and opinions on things won’t be considered.
Do not let desperation ruin you for life.
A man who wants to be with you will have no issues concerning your hook up point.
This guy is bad news already. He should stick to his Netherlands wife.
This is exactly how some girls were raped and till date, no one believes them cos they went willingly to these guys houses.
If he can’t respect you enough and meet you at your choice of place, let him fade away.
DO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE.
Pls don't you ever ever visit him at home. In fact forget that guy...and why are you even desperate at 28?? Pls relax.
ReplyDeleteWhat if he is a ritualist, psycho, rapist, human trafficker, kidnapper or organ harvester.
DeleteIf you love yourself stop all form of communication with him, his intentions towards you are not good at all.
He may later agree to meet you in public place to make you trust him and be comfortable with him before striking, trust me relationship with him will not end well that is if you come out alive.
Stop putting pressure on yourself you are still young.
Abi ooo so true dont even bother meeting him in public again sef. He definitely has bad intentions. This is why parents should stop pressurising people to get married. It pushes one to make mistakes.
DeleteJust focus on work. Enjoy single life for now. Life is in seasons, enjoy and make the best of the season you are in now. Just keep praying to God for the bone of your bone not just a "husband". Poster i hope you listen ooooo.
I know why some parents mount unnecessary pressure on their children to get married...
DeletePoster, please avoid this man like plague. The way you will avoid danger. Please, stop every communication with him...
@GOLIBE you know why?! Care to share the reason?!
DeletePoster, read Stella’s comment over again and again! Never go to a Man’s house to meet up. You don’t even know this guy. He has probably seen how desperate you are to marry that’s why he’s trying to take advantage of you.
ReplyDeleteStop responding to his messages. In fact delete his contact and block him!!!
You need to relax about this marriage thing and live your life. Build your self esteem and love yourself. That way you’ll attract high value men and understand what it means to treat a lady.
Beloved do not go to meet him in his house. If he has nothing to hide he wouldn't mind meeting you anywhere you choose. Calm down and don't be desperate to get married else, you may fall into danger. Stop communicating with him and cut him off before he tries to convince you further. Again, calm down your man will show up when it's time.
ReplyDeleteParents should also learn to take it easy on their kids and stop rushing them to get married. They may fall into the wrong hands due to pressure and in order to please their parents
Dheroine your last paragraph is apt👌
DeleteYou've met him only once, that means you hardly know him.
ReplyDeleteIt is only acceptable for you to visit someone you are familiar with and are comfortable with. With so pls I don't know his problem with visiting in an open place. Is he serious at all?
Do not go. This is a red flag
ReplyDeleteDon't go to his house. Is he even mentally ok? He has a motive please don't fall for it
ReplyDeleteblock him every where. DO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE
ReplyDeleteI support total blocking, this guy is dangerous.
DeleteJungle has no respect for your decisions. That’s a big red flag.
ReplyDeleteKeep it moving Darling. Relax and keep believing God on the matter. Talk to your parents about the pressure and the possible dangers it could push you into.
Good luck
DO NOT MEET HIM IN HIS HOUSE!
ReplyDeleteYou are seeing the red flag, but you keep avoiding it for reasons I don't know.. maybe it's the foreign citizenship or the good life.. you better calm down.. that guy fit no still marry you after having his way..
ReplyDeleteIf you know you can live with other good things he can provide but not marriage, then carry go
@ Dante, no be say e no fit marry am. E no wan marry am eeeh. Guy man just dey cruise. The babe has probably shown him signs of desperation and he's trying to capitalize on it.
DeleteDON'T DO IT 😣
ReplyDeleteMy dear a man who truly loves you will not insist on you coming to his house once he senses that you are uncomfortable with the idea. Please if you love your virginity block him and please STOP TELLING MEN THAT YOU ARE A VIRGIN!!! Doing this when you don't know the person yet makes it look like a bait!!! Most men will just want to disvirgin you and move on!!!
ReplyDeleteBe sure that this person loves you genuinely before disclosing your status ok? Shebi you have heard about so many girls have been raped and killed due to this mistake!!! You don't even know if he's into rituals or Yahoo. Please sit at home with your virginity as you await the right man.
"Pestering you for a relationship..." Huh?
ReplyDeleteAnd he want you in his house already, as what; sex toy?
Why doesn't he pester you for marriage instead.
Wow! Kunle sounds like a bad news. And besides, you are "believing God for a life partner..."
Is Kunle believing God for a life partner; is he a believer in Christ? Or in your desperation
to get married, you've forgotten the principles of the Kingdom you told us you belong to?
You know how to treat the likes of Kunle? Siddon look! 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
You are sending Chronicle whether to meet a married man at his house or in public?
ReplyDeleteUse your number 6 naa, haba.
Wait for a single guy.
Thank you. Poster shouldn't be sending in this as a chronicle. It's common sense. The danger is glaring.
DeleteAs in common sense is so so so uncommon these days. At 28 o. I know one blood sucking mosquito will soon come here once it heres the magic word,'common sense', come o, I have hammer, matches and charcoal to 'gift' you.
DeleteThank God that he has shown you his true colours. If you marry this one, you will cry everyday. Very dangerous person I swear. Usually if a man wants something he pursues it . You like me and want to have a relationship with me. I say make we meet for younder,you say by force I must meet in your house. He hadn't even gotten you yet o and is already trying to control you and bend you to his will. When he gets you , nothing about you will matter except you doing his bidding.i don't even think it's cos he wants to rape you self. He just wants to bend you to his will. Cos I mean if it's just sex,rape, he can bid his time ana follow youyou t you are so comfortable with him you will even likely go to his house on your own and then he will have his way .I think it's just the control thing.And he is very proud or senses your desperation vibe! Anything he says should stand and all that.Your thoughts and feelings won't matter if you enter this relationship. 28 is not bad. Don't become too desperate you see a tout and force your self to think he is a gentleman! Getting married should not be your only end goal but being happily married.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best as you act with sense!
If you must go to his place, you can go with someone
ReplyDeleteInfact don't meet him whether in his house or eatery,the red flag is there already so abort mission to avoid sending another chronicle.
ReplyDeleteI'll start with the pressure from your people for marriage. Please, cut off from them. Excommunicate them from your life until they receive sense. Don't take calls from them. If na me, I'll block them. If you are living with them, quietly move out and don't let them know your whereabouts until they can get a grip on themselves. Don't go to them until they promise to close their mouth concerns your marital life or until you meet your husband.
ReplyDeleteYou know why I started with them? Because they are the main problem. They are the real reason for this chronicle not the yahoo boy you are trying to destroy your life with. Imagine that you can't even make a simple decision about the yahoo boy which any teenager would have easily made. You know why? The pressure! You are no longer with your senses. Your brain is running amock. At 28, you are writing chronicle to ask if you should visit a total stranger. When your head clears, come back and read this chronicle and see if you won't laugh at yourself.
Ahn ahn. When I tell people that marriage isn't for boys and girls, they think it's the age I'm referring to. No!! I'm referring to emotional maturity. Madam, please put a brake on this marriage thing and get yourself together. You neva reach to marry. Remain small. E be like ya head wan start to shake sef. Because of marriage fa. If you can't put your feet down in front of your people, is it your in-laws or the wicked world out there you'd be able to face? You would succom to any pressure in future. Even from the man you marry. You people think marriage is wedding gown, make up, rice, bouquet and chocolate. E go shock you. Abi you no dey read chronicles here? Na wa oo!
Now let me tell you how to get a good spouse.
1. Take your mind off marriage. Completely. Enjoy life to the fullest. Enjoy the little things of life. Spend time making people and yourself happy. Go close to children and the elderly. You'd be shocked what you'll learn about life. Reach out to the downtrodden of life.
2. Discover your purpose in life. (This takes a while).
3. Write down what you want in your spouse. It should correspond with your purpose. If not, prepare for a lifetime of misery or divorce. Your values and beliefs should be paramount and uncompromised.
4. Make friends in the circle of the kind of people you'd like to end up with and remain with for life. Do so without marriage in mind. Spouses most times are the people who you never envisaged would be. But are in your comfort circle.
5. When any member of the opposite sex in that circle shows interest, go back to your list. If the person matches, start making background enquiry without his/her knowledge. This will arm you with enough information in case e reach marriage talk. You'd be fully prepared with what to say.
6. Pray. Fervently. Your life depends on it. Only God knows the humans walking this earth. Only him sees the future. No matter your findings, get a go ahead from God first.
7. When you accept, continue praying earnestly for the marriage and thwarting the plans of Satan for the future until you become a couple. And even after.
Now, do those seven points (and even others) look like what you can achieve through quivering in a short space of time? The best way to marry is to become friends and unconsciously graduate to marriage.
Notice I didn't give much attention to the guy. E be like say e want carry you do yahoo boys money. Lol. What decent and chivalrous man insists a lady comes to his house even with repeated decline by the lady? Na wa.
Have a fun-filled and successful marital life.
God bless you Ma. I am not the poster, but I learnt from this, a lot.
DeleteI love love reading your comments. You’re a smart person. Advise is very on point God’s blessings👐🏾. Poster read and read this comment over and over. Cut off anyone pressuring you if you tell them sternly to not bring up marriage talk! Your parents no try at all. They should be the one to encourage and pray for you and not pressure you! It affects one somehow because the emotional support is not coming from people you need it from the most. Such a sad situation.
DeleteU see the story of a lady that went to deliver items to a customer and she was gruesomely murdered right??? The world is wicked,strange things are happening,everyone should protect themselves as much as they can.if he is refusing to meet u in an open public space for a date then run for ur life,cos u don’t know his motive.No go use ur hand enter one chance..A word they say is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteExactly. The heart is a hidden place known only to its owner. Dates are public events and if he cannot be seen in public with you then that is a red flag.
DeletePlease dont go. Kunle has an ulterior motive.If he cant meet you in a public place then forget it. He is bad news.
ReplyDeleteEven if he agrees, don't have anything to do with him anymore. Delete him form your life pls.
DeleteFrom
DeleteForget about him, you might get raped and killed.
ReplyDeleteMy dear forget that man, delete his number and keep it moving. You shouldn't be talking to a man who doesn't respect your decisions. That man will rape you or take advantage of you.
ReplyDeletePoster, the answer is quite simple. Do not go to his house ever. His intentions are not genuine at all. I suggest you move on... God hears and in due time, he will bring yours. Do not fall for him and his lies. I repeat do not fall for him. Lastly, stop being desperate... resist any sort of pressure, focus on your career... Somebody's son will find you soon. Keep praying... I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteThis is not even a matter of don't go to his house. Cut him off completely. He is bad news
ReplyDeleteVery bad new. Parental pressure causing confusion and desperation for the bv, they not even thinking or seeing straight.
DeleteParents pressuring their children to marry anything just to say married.
Don't meet him at home...what's bad about meeting in a public place abi he wan use you for something else ni
ReplyDeleteSuwah. Pls don’t go.
ReplyDeleteBut there is no green card in Nederland‘s now
ReplyDeleteI tire ooo lol
Deletetell her ooo. Posters so damn desperate!!
DeleteRun for your life
ReplyDeleteThank God for you. that Stella adviced you unlike other people story She will leave them to use their head
Stella has said it all
Please don't go to his house ooo,he might rape you. This one na red flag abeg.
ReplyDeletePlease cut off from this man. He is married. Whether for paper or not, married is married.
ReplyDeleteHow you say you’re believing God for a husband and you want to date a married man is beyond me.
Do you think God will send you a man who was dubious enough to marry a white for papers?
Let’s not even talk about going to his house.
Cut. Him. Off.
Serial lover on the loose .
ReplyDeleteHe who has ears let him hear!!!
You heard it all from every single one here, saying the same thing which is do not go to his house.
ReplyDeleteTonia.
1. He's married
ReplyDelete2. He insisting on you coming to his house is a big red flag. Don't go.
Block him and lose his contact. He's devil-sent
Don't let because of parental pressure you act without reason. Just because Kunle told you about his marriage does not mean he won't lie about something else. Speaking one truth does not make a person honest or trustworthy.
ReplyDeleteDo not lock yourself down with Kunle thinking because he is around that he must be sent by God. Keep dating, keep meeting other people. And do not go to his house for anything. No one should force you to do anything that you are not comfortable with. And you should not be accommodating someone who is little more than a stranger to you. Stick to your standards and don't falter to please anyone that you owe nothing to. You owe Kunle nothing, not even your time.
Any man or woman who can marry another person because of the so-called "green card" and discard them afterwards, is a Hushpuppi. I'm sure this isn't the type of person you'd want to sacrifice your virginity to. I respect virgins. For them to resist what most people easily give in to puts them in a special place. You don't deserve that guy. He doesn't deserve you. Calm down and look properly, you'll get your type of man.
ReplyDeleteDO NOT GO TO HIS HOUSE. He's not worth you, as a virgin you deserve a man with no baggages, being married is a huge baggage cause if he ends up marrying you, you re going to be stuck in Nigeria and won't be able to step leg into his country of residence as his wife unless he divorces her, that's if he's not just coming after you to chop and clean mouth o.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, leave him alone, there are many nice single guys abi you join group of girls wey nor dey use ear hear "I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE ABROAD".most of them ve nothing to offer apart from heartbreak.
Please poster do not ever go to his house for whatever reason...
ReplyDeleteThis guy is most likely married. I find it odd that he will even volunteer that information of marriage-for-paper without you asking him. Usually men won't say anything until maybe you hear their story or see pictures somewhere. He probably
ReplyDeletewqnts to cover his tracks. This guy is married for real and for now so leave him alone. He may have plans to drug/rape you. Kindly tell him off then block him. 🚫
At this point even if he agrees to meet you in an open space do not go. When are are you young ladies going to realise you own the ace and any man that truly likes you will not engage in unnecessary arguments with you. This guy is married, are you planning on becoming a second wife? Don't become a desperate woman under the guise of the pressure coming from your parents. You are just 28, do not do anything that will complicate your life
ReplyDeleteDon't let the pressure of wanting to fet married make you do what you'll end up regretting for the rest of your life.Don't go to his house,if he keeps pressuring you,drop him like hot shit.
ReplyDelete...whatever you do in this life, don't date this man (totally perish the idea of marrying this man). If you go to his house, don't say you were not warned!
ReplyDeleteThis reads like a man who loves flags, and his favourite colour is red.
What kind of by force dating and marriage is this poster? Is it by force to date or marry? Is he the only man in this world. You’re just 28 and you’re so desperate. Like you don’t hear of people that get murdered in places they visited. I’m sorry for you. Whether marriage is by age or by God’s time. Continue....
ReplyDeleteShe would not listen to all the sermons.
ReplyDeleteNa the Netherlands "green card" or "orange card" her eyes dey see, not the red flags of danger.
But soon the eyes will clear.
Poster notice that you didn't say (because you don't know) anything about who this man is, what he is doing for business/living, but you know already he has a wife a Netherlands green card.
Pls don't go & stop any form of communication with him
ReplyDeletePoster mbok sit your ass down in your house and léave that guy called kunle when it is time your true man will come.
ReplyDeleteWhy is he insisting on your first time meeting at his house? That's a big red flag.. Don't try it. Stick to public places for now
ReplyDeleteCome and marry me... Leave this kunle alone abeg..
ReplyDeleteYou need a caring man like me who will respect and does not want ghensing before marriage
I don't think you need any other word again,the handwriting is clear.... Don't go to his house!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with parents pressuring their children to marry...it is really uncalled for and they should understand it was quite easy those days to get settled and marry early which is not the case nowadays. I'm just so pissed.
ReplyDeleteIt is a very simple answer to your question,
ReplyDeleteIf you want to sleep/have sex with a guy, then go to his house. If you do not want to, then do not go to his house.
If his intentions are true, pure and not of evil towards you, he will respect your decision.
ReplyDeleteHe will rape you
ReplyDelete