Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TOUGH DECISION
My maid and my kids go to same school. I pay same amount in school fees for them.
My maid and my kids go to same school. I pay same amount in school fees for them.
She looks after my kids like her siblings. She calls me "mommy" and confides in me very well. Whatever I buy for my kids, I buy for her. If you were not told, you won't know that she isn't my biological child.
Now my friend is telling me to send her home because guys are hitting on her and she can get pregnant in my house. She is mature now with a good feminine shape in her mid teens.
I don't have anything against this girl. I plan that she will attend higher institution in from my house. She is very obedient and studies the Scriptures with us. I know about loving my neighbor as myself.
This is an orphan.
Sending her back to the village is simply aborting a bright future. Now, my husband who has so supported me is beginning to buy my friend's ideas. What do you think?
*She is beginning to blossom tight before your husbands eyes .....
Hmmm I hate to say this but don't sit down there and behave naïve.
The truth is that she is not your daughter and confides in your right now because she never tear eyes oh.
This story you are telling me is how one BV trained her maid and the maid entered University and stopped coming to the house oh, before she knew what was happening her husband had married the maid as second wife and quickly sent her abroad to avoid confrontation with the woman.... She was pregnant with twins when he sent her abroad.
The BV did not get back to me with update but the last i know her family was torn apart by what happened and she said she would move out..... The man watched the girl grow up and fell in love with her...
I don't have advice for you, study the situation and advice yourself
You don't have to abort a bright future, you can send her back and be taking care of her studies from where you are and check up on her.
ReplyDeleteThese streets are mad o and who knows somebody or one boy will teach her things that she doesn't know and she will turn against you.
I support this decision ☝️. poster listen to this advice, you can still fend for her from her parents house to avoid stories that touch.this is really a difficult situation.
DeleteTonia
Stella you sha.
DeleteYou don't have advice but you've planted an obvious seed in her heart and now asked her to study the situation.
I don't blame you sha, I blame women who can't hold their homes and will rush to tear their homes apart in a bid to send Chronicles and seek advice.
Poster your dreams and that of your husband do not align, otherwise which sensible man would take advantage of an orphan? Do you want God to use his hand and destroy you? Or your husband dose not fear God at all and the suppose scriptures He has trained the "maid" to study is hypocrisy?
Speak to your husband and take charge of your home, stop allowing every dick, Tom and Harry sample their opinions in your life.
Ask your friend when boys start toasting her own daughter if she will send her own child packing for the fear of unwanted pregnancy?
DeleteMy dear, how do you intend to handle your own child once she starts getting asked out? That's the same way you should handle this girl.
She's at a critical age, draw her close to yourself, if you don't have experience with that get books on parenting teenagers and handle it from there.
Teach the girl sex education and follow up on her circles, if you train her well, she will be an example to her younger ones.
Push up thank you!!!
DeletePoster if you have girls, they will get to that stage where boys will start hitting on them too, who will you send them to by then??
This girl has not given you any reason to doubt her, so why send her home?
Remember you are doing whatever you do for her for God, he is the rewarder of man and will surely reward you in ways you least imagine. Please carry on.
Stella as for that other case ehn, the husband just decided to be unfortunate!! He would have still cheated on his wife with or without a house help, so even if she chose not to bring anyone home, the husband will have still gone ahead to cheat with an outsider, e dey hin blood, and the woman deserves better. They will reap their bountiful harvest too (both husband and help).
Poster 16:51, the girl is an orphan!! Which parents house is she going to?
DeleteWhile this seemed dicey, it would be better to tackle it from your husband's primary fears since you seem to be disapproving of the suggestion. I think when you digest your husband's reasons and priotise your happiness - in this case your family first. You'd make a better judgement.
DeleteBut since you have already light up this girl's path, please do not let it go dim. An orphan would still have an extended family somewhere. Sometimes, we don't need to be present in people's live rather we could make ourself available.
May God give you the wisdom to navigate this.
Please o, unless you l married a man with discipline, let her go.
DeleteMost of these men these days are worst than street dogs, anything goes, 5, 15 or 50.
You will actually be saving her life and yours.
I just tire for Stella.
DeletePush up, never better said. Thank you.
Push Up, thank you very much. Poster take that advice.
DeleteYour husband is of the same opinion for her to leave the house. It means, he has started seeing something, and taking her away will save him now.
DeleteDon't listen to those people, cause when wayo go burst, they will only ask you to pray for your husband. You can help someone from afar, you don't necessary need to be in their lives to achieve that.
Please don't let your friend destroy the good thing you and your husband having been doing for this child. I love the fact she is open to you and tells you everything. It's ok to have the sex education talk with her. Let her know that boys will be flocking around her because she is developing, but that is not God's plan for her. She should focus on her education and other positive things around her. Tell her not to listen to none of those boys. Thank you for treating her like your own child. Please don't let negative stories get to you.
DeleteFor your husband to suggest this, it means he has started seeing her in a light different from yours. No matter how good that girl is, do you think she can vehemently resist your husband's sexual advances when it starts and for how long?
ReplyDeletePlease 🙏 do as your husband says but don't forget her after she's sent away.
Na wa!!!
Where did you see husband suggesting that? u no go read to understand.
Delete🙄🙄🙄 your red pen story Stella shock me .
ReplyDeletePoster do what you think is right in the sight of God and that which will bring peace in your home
Pls don't listen to that friend. Do not punish a good child for a crime she hasn't and may never commit.
ReplyDeleteConvince ur husband on why he should let her keep staying and that ur friend ehn, I won't say what I have on my mind.
Lastly, thank u do much for treating another's child like ur own. May no devil come between u guys
Poster this is the advice you're looking for.
DeleteConvince her husband you say? See ehnnnn in my experience husbands don't talk too much on sensitive issues like this b4 madam start getting ideas. They will just talk small and leave you to take a decision. That's how my Dad warned my Mum to send our then housegirl packing. My mum was forming good woman until we found out that they are lovers. Abeg the story is long......
DeleteIn all MEN pls have self control.
Good talk Eka. As long as we treat marriage as the it and it all we will continue to ask these types of common sense questions. Why do we women keep preempting what our men will do and try so hard to check their behavior with bad and wrong turns?
DeletePoster please keep taking care of this child. You don't know how tomorrow will be. If your husband decides to go with her then he was never meant to be, if the girl turns the other way then it was never to be.
Do what is right and don't think of what another adult should do. We can only control our actions and choices in life. Honestly we give too much importance to what we should do to prevent what another human being can and may do. The onus is on us as human beings to make right and good choices. If life doesn't pan out the way you planned it then you move. As they say if life throws you a lemon you make a lemonade out of it.
Please do what is right by God. Train that girl and let the cards fall any how it wants to.
Honestly oh!!! Why would your husband see truth in a lie???
DeleteYes she is growing up to become a young lady and it's not her fault!!! She is an orphan too, so who are you sending her back to in the village. Won't the same wolves in the village ravage her?
If it were your child won't you want her to be treated fairly? Please keep that child and change your friend Biko. Keep a close eye on the girl. And always educate her about not allowing any man including your husband to touch her inappropriately. I hate the fact that we always aid our husbands and treat them like they don't have self control!!! Like God made a mistake in giving them their male organs!!!
Poster, your see all these people that gathered here and encouraging you to still live with the girl, when your husband will get that maid pregnant and make her 2nd wife, all they can do for you is to insult your husband and leave you to your fate.
DeleteSend that girl home and help from afar. Be wise.
I agree with Eka Joy on this one. Madam the girl hasn't given you any reason to doubt her loyalty. Please continue to treat her well and keep a close eye on her.
DeleteThose of you saying send her back, what if she were your daughter or relation will you use what others have experienced to treat an innocent child badly? Do when then stop entering planes because of crashes or have people stop traveling by road because of kidnappers?
Madam pray for God's grace and wisdom and talk to your husband about your plans for the girl and most importantly talk to the girl and educate her about the dangers of allowing boys or even shameless men to deceive her. God bless you for your kindness to this young orphan.
Chike, stop making excuses for useless men. Any man that can sleep with his maid is already sleeping with tons of women outside.
DeleteMay we not marry excuses of men as husbands.
Poster, I want to believe ur husband is not the kind of man Chike up there has described but if he is, the maid is still the least of ur problem.
Eka Joy, you don't expect her husband to tell her that he has feelings for the maid.
DeleteFor him to tell her to send her home, he may be probably fighting the temptation.
If he happen to impregnate the maid and the wife react, he will tell her that he told her earlier to send her home but she refused and the girl succeeded in seducing him.
Let her support the maid from afar because mgbe eji ekwu ana eteka(a stitch in time saves nine)
I agree wholeheartedly Eka.
DeleteChike a man that is in disciplined enough to sleep with a child in his care is useless and doesn't deserve to be carried on one's head. An a man that useless will still disgrace his wife even if she sends 100 househelps away, girls plenty for outside nau.
@Chike
DeleteThe fact that you go to church and probably fornicate doesn't mean that everyone does it. Her husband is a believer in Christ, did you read that?
Loll una dey waste ya time. Chike be like pesin for ya eye?
DeleteMost men will rape if they could get away with it, that's just the truth. Protect that girl at all costs, sane way you would protect your child.
Poster Send her back to her parent's house.Our neighbour's maid is now the madam in the house.The husband suddenly started resenting the maid,meanwhile those period,oga in the house was trying to fight temptation from the maid.When the wife due to the usefulness of the maid refuse to let her go.Oga out of the weakness of the flesh fell in,started knacking maid on a steady,maid got pregnant,they tried to settle the matter but the wife insist on leaving the house.The maid is now the wife of the man infact he married her properly sef.
ReplyDelete🙄🙄🙄
Delete@Ava
DeleteThe husband in your story is not a believer in Jesus like the one in the poster's story.
The maid in your story isn't probably well treated like the one in the poster's story; is she?
Do not use a one size fits all solution. Where will you send your own child to?
Why not talk about obeying God who says that being kind to orphans pleases him? James 1:27
Poster most of the people advising you to keep the maid won't try it ooooo, you have been doing a wonderful job already, send her back but make sure she goes to school
DeleteGood riddance to bad jatijati. The woman will be fine eventually.
Delete16:18 are you so NAIVE????? Which one is 'he is not a believer in Christ' kininksn kini Kan You never see Pastor wey be pastor, wey speak in tounges and fcuk around like dog?
DeleteAbi na this evening dem born you?
The madam can be kind from a distance, is like you dont know these men sha...
@19:45
Delete"Pastor" does not mean "believer in Christ."
Note that this lady wrote; not just going to church. Anyone who calls himself a believer and is
still committing adultery does not know Christ. If you do it, you are a hypocrite not a believer in Christ.
If your 'pastors" do it, get out from that church of Satan.
I pity this girl. She has done nothing wrong, now she is danger of being sent home cos of a concerned friend and a husband who cannot control himself.
ReplyDeleteI also pity the girl🤭
DeleteMy dear......
DeletePoster, put the maid in boarding school
DeleteI'm close to tears right now..
DeleteYour friend is wicked. Verrrrrry wicked indeed. An orphan, she wants to deny good life.
What is good from your heart to do for that orphan? Sis, think it through. She is a good girl right?
Send her to boarding house please if you wish to keep being God sent to her. Don't let her life come to ruins...
I'm sure that you will get boarding school that you can afford.. I'm begging you in God's name. Complete the good work you have started..
My friend here and her husband trained a motherless girl upto university level. Her father died 2yrs back but her family doesn't contribute to her welfare.. Today, she is at Edo state NYSC camp.. The family is a family of 8 plus the girl. If I give you testimony of how God has helped the man financially, you will not discard this innocent child.
Na so life dey be. Me I will never allow a female child around a,man unsupervised.
DeleteBe fore I hear 'it was the devils fsult' na hot iron I go use pierce your balls.
I really pity the girl
DeleteAhh God stella you’re truly a Jezebel so because of what one bv told you another innocent child’s future should be ruined ahhh God . Bv pls don’t listen to stella I beg you with God
ReplyDeleteDear Lord God, please keep me alive and resourceful to raise my children myself. God abeg.
DeleteAmen🙏
DeletePlease, do not send her away. Always put a close eye on her. She is an orphan as you said. God blesses people who reach out to the likes of her.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteOkie dokie and i think it be nice you take heed
ReplyDeleteTry get sense abeg . What is okie dokie and other rubbish you do spill out.
DeleteImportant matter, you will bring your rubbish into it.
*it'll* be nice
DeleteThat your friend is evil! will she advice you do same to your teen daughter for fear of getting pregnant. What happens to proper counselling, guidance and sex talk.
ReplyDeleteThat talk that husbands can end up develop feelings towards maid is just to show how weak they are. If the maid is not there, they'll do it with any other lady including their daughter since they lack discipline.
Give her a chance and beware of that your neighbor.
Felicity
poster I understand what your friend is saying, but pls, have mercy on this girl, you said she's an orphan, pls help her. don't send her away. you and your husband can take her like your own child. poster, if you protect this girl, believe me she won't fuck up. Do your best and leave the rest for God, may God continue to bless you and yours, Amen
DeleteWhy will your husband tell you to send her away,haba....abi is he eyeing the girl,can you trust him not to fuck up?????And that your friend though......I will advice you let the girl be,talk to her about boys and all that,if she messes up or get pregnant you can send her away. But as long as she has not done anything wrong,please let her be
ReplyDelete👌👌👌👌
DeleteBbjac, what if her husband is the on that impregnate her and insist on making her 2nd wife, what will the poster do then?
DeleteProblem with most of you ladies is that you people hate to hear the truth.
What if the husband MISTAKENLY impregnate the girl and blamed the devil , the same love that you have for the girl I hope it will still be there 🥴🥴🥴
DeleteStop peddling lies here Chike. Believers in Christ do not fornicate, not to talk about an orphan under their roofs.
DeleteHaaaa this is a TOUGH decision indeed! I can't tell you to send her away nor that she should stay with you but what I can tell you is that you should FAST and PRAY about it! If you send her away...is like you are aborting her bright future (though na ONLY God know who go be successful for this LIFE, education or not) and if she stays with you and your husband started lusting after her since you said she's naturally endowed...hmmm I don't TRUST all these Nigeria men and it might even be an outsider so before EVERYTHING will now be YAM PEPPER SCATTER SCATTER, the ONLY thing you can do now is too ASK GOD FOR DIRECTIONS and trust me...he won't lead you astray. Good luck
ReplyDeletePlease, continue helping this orphan while keeping close tabs on her. She has been sent your way. Continue to be her angel
ReplyDeleteWhether you send her away to village or keep her in your home or send her to Uni, guys will always toast and woo a fine girl they set eyes on.
ReplyDeleteJust Be sure your husband is not among the guys.
Give her sex education along with the Bible scriptures. Make she no carry belle outside wedlock wherever she finds herself.
There are so many things wrong with this story...sigh
ReplyDeleteRight...........
DeleteMadam, before You make any decision, pray and ask God to lead you. If the girl was your child, will you throw her out like that? Will you like someone to do that to your child? Do not truncate a young child's destiny because of your fears. I know maids that were trained by their boss till they got married. Not all maids turn out baff.
ReplyDeletePlease, don't break that child's heart by throwing her out. You don't know how much God is blessing you because of this child. She loves you and your family, it will destroy her to be 'betrayed' like that. We cannot stop being good because we are scared of being hurt. Please, pray to God to help the girl turn out right. Intercede for her future like a mother should.
Well said! Please madam, put yourself in her shoes and her parents (God forbid) shoes. How would you feel if someone does that to your helpless innocent child? There, is your answer
DeleteI will be brutally honest. It is tough for men NOT to get attracted to women under their roof. They see the beautiful and even the not so beautiful blossom and bloom under their very own eyes. In this case, familiarity breeds attraction even for young girls.
ReplyDeleteYou should pay attention to your husband's body language and unspoken words. He cannot possibly tell you that he is attracted to the girl, you will skin him alive. He cannot voice such a thing.
Help this girl,but do so without putting her at risk of sexual exploitation by your husband and without putting your marriage in jeopardy.
Ask your husband questions that put him on the spot, such as : 1. Has this girl not served us faithfully? 2. Do you care about her as a daughter? Etc. Those questions should evoke sympathy from him.
It is easy for your husband to resist temptation if the temptation is outside, but what can he do if the temptation is right under his roof staring him in the face?
Call this girl and you and your husband should have a conversation with her. Tell her things are getting difficult and you and your husband are experiencing some challenging times and financial difficulty, so you have to make some adjustments. She has a family, take her back there, but assure her that you will continue to care and provide for her and her education.
Take her back to her family, and personally register her in a boarding school, to remove the risk of maltreatment by relations. Take her to the school personally, pay her fees,buy her provisions, buy her clothes and uniform. During holidays, let her go back to her relation's house or send her for some skill acquisition programmes, summer school etc.
I have a 16 year old at home and she is more developed and way sexier and more attractive than me who is 32. Sometimes I get worried. What I do at home is to insist that she wears bra and decent clothes, so that she doesn't seduce somebody.
Please, don't treat her as a villain, continue to care for her, but do it away from your home,you OWE it to your husband not to expose him to temptation, especially if he is willing to fight it. Care for her please, pay her fees, send pocket money, call her, put her in a good boarding school, but keep her away from your home for now.
Also be mindful of what you say,It is possible that you planted ideas in your husband's Head by telling him what your friend said.
This is not easy, but wisdom is profitable to direct and God will hello you. Amen!!!!!
Thank you for your comment 👍
DeleteBest advice. Sometimes you have to do what's BEST for you even when it's not GOOD for others.
DeleteIn other words, you are telling them to tell lies which their faith in Christ forbids.
Delete@Baby and twins
DeleteI put it to you and this commenter that you all are hypocritical liars. What? So telling a lie to toss this orphan girl's future away just like that is your advice?
No fear of God at all?
I am surprised at most peoples comment,In everything we do we should put ourselves first,you have to love yourself dearly before loving another,I am someone that will give my last kobo to help anybody,I did this for 20 years and still doing it but I have learn to love myself first.All the people I helped are now doing good but if I ask for 10k,They have never had not because they don't have but because they don't have spare to give me They rent houses in highbrow area,build houses and drive good cars.God has Been faithful to me but I always Gave to my last kobo.Why am I saying this is because I have great experience when it comes to people,When a man tells you to let a maid go then its better you let her go,She Is innocent,I agree but by the time things change and he starts sleeping with her,you will be the one to loose,girls of nowadays are not smiling and most prefer self made man,I adopted a girl also who has a father but no mother and I have been training her since she was 16,My husband stays abroad and when my husband came she started telling me of a film she watched that the house girl took her madam husband because the madam was lazy,God has s way of communicating because I knew she was passing a message to me despite the fact am not lazy I gave her freedom and encouraged her to move on in life and helped her in getting a school and I still support her till date it was later another girl I adopted though not with me too now,told me the girl was asking her how she can have bum and breast like me.I also know of a lovely couple that the woman was the breadwinner of the house and husband lost his job,They are also good Christian and beautiful couple with two lively children,The woman works from morning till night and the husband too complained of their house help but the woman could not combine office and housework at a time the husband start sleeping with the maid from morning till the wife is about to return from work,They continued until the girl got pregnant two times and the husband is still proud of himself.So think of what is most important to you.I have plenty stories,Help the girl but think about your family
Delete@Funny
DeleteYour comment is not funny at all. Did you read where this lady said that "they are not just church goers but believers in Jesus?"
That is not the case with the people in your stories. And this poster did not tell us that her husband complained, except you read another
chronicle.
I owe it to my husband (who is a FULL FLEDGED ADULT) not to expose him to temptation? Pray tell how? What happens when he goes to work and out of the house?? See ehn, life is not as hard as we are making it, and marriage shouldn't be this difficult oh.
DeletePray for the fruit of the spirit for your husband.
@Dainty
DeleteYou don't pray for fruits of the Spirit, you discipline the flesh though fasting and God's Word to achieve that; see Romans 8:1-3
What???? Stella are you for real???
ReplyDeleteThings are happening!!!
Please don’t send her back to the village. Pray and ask God to guide you. She hasn’t given you any cause for concern so please be patient with her and watch her closely. You are her helper and God will reward you. If you have a teenage daughter are you also going to send her somewhere else so that “she doesn’t get pregnant in your house” or you would educate her and guide her?
ReplyDeletePlease be careful of that your friend!!!
What about the husband agreeing with the friend?
DeleteStell, you have no advice for her but you already put strong ideas and fear in her heard.
ReplyDeletePoster, the only advice i have for you is your kindness and love is your shield. If what Stella typed up there is your fear, just know that this orphaned girl is not the only woman that may catch your husbands attention. In fact, if you dont trust neither your husband nor the girl, what guaranties you that the village will not be a better grooming ground for your husband to prey on her especially when she knows she has no other option to survive.
That girl is your child. Everyday we preach that people shouldnt abort babies they cant care for yet here we are pushing them out of our homes. How are they supposed to survive when we see them as threat?
If you push her away, i hope she keeps your husbands contact and terrifies your peace when she eventually succumbs to the hardship out there waiting to turn her wild.
I wish same for poster at your last paragraph
DeleteIf she don reach that level..I tink u should let her go except if you trust ur husband to that extent cuz this ur chronicle here is like u are referring to ur husband n not ur friend oooo
ReplyDeleteYou guys should stop putting ideas into the head of this woman who God wants to use to help this child! Do you think if the husband wants to date the househelp he won't do so even if she sends her away? Abeg abeg..
ReplyDeleteMadam, what will you do if men start hitting on your daughter? Please do same for this child and may God bless you.
Ps: stay away from that friend of yours. She isn't a good one.
You've said it all. Poster losten to this
DeleteThere is a reason the poster sent this chronicle in. There is a reason or reasons for her fears, otherwise it is pretty straight forward taking care of a good orphan girl who is like her daughter.
DeleteYea,that's what happens when ladies fail to build or make their home.. I see no reason sending that innocent girl out because of your insecurities.you just want to punish her because of your own insecurities.
ReplyDeleteIf your husband like it is assumed looks her way and that might be your fear then it means you are not doing something right .allow the girl be jhareee...
Please don't listen to these people telling you to send her away. Why don't you install CCTV camera in Ur house that is connected to your phone. To monitor what goes on when you are not at home. So you can see if there is some sort of affection between your husband and the girl. Do these for 6mths to a year. This should serve as a good judgement.
DeleteAbeg this girl is an orphan don't send her away.
Personally, I feel that if a man is so indisciplined as to go after his maid, then that man isn't worthy to be a husband. A man should be able to have self control and respect around his maid.
ReplyDeletePoster this girl is an orphan and hasn't done anything to you. No need to abort her bright future. Bring her close, let her know and advice her against the odds out there.
This is the reason women use underage kids barely out of their childhood as maids. I detest such. Just continue to be good. Everything will turn out ok except the girl herself begins to show act of rebellion, then do the needful.
I'm in same shoes as you. Exactly what you described in your chronicle is my situation. If my husband put eye for her blossoming body, then he's a pig. If the girl allows herself to be used by guys outside, then na she lose.
That part of being an orphan 💔
DeletePoster look at how someone in a similar situation is handling it.
DeleteStella that your advice na nonsense. Is it her fault that she is developing into a beautiful woman? Or is it her fault that she has reached the age when she's beginning to get hit on by men? Please if you wish to help that girl do so otherwise send her home but don't blame your guilt on whatever it is your friend is saying. That girl has done nothing wrong to you. As far as I'm concerned, that your friend is jealous and will not hesitate to pick her up the moment you drop her.
ReplyDeleteWhy are Women like this? We are our own problems.
Some big ladies today where trained by someone. They were househelps to somebody. Unless that young lady has done something to alter your trust then let her be. However, if this new information from your friend will cause you to maltreat that innocent child then please send her home because God and humanity will never forgive you
Speaking truth to power? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 But guy or girl, you should not have used the word "nonsense"
DeleteYou can make your points without insults.
Guard your home still help as you've been doing.
ReplyDeleteIt is a huge pity some men have no self control. Too bad. I know a family where their maid grew up with the kids. All were treated equally in the home. The only reason why she didn't attend university was she didn't have the aptitude. Yet she remained in their home till she got married. No wahala. Mum and dad were both working class people. But I know that homes defer.
DeleteI know of one who started sleeping with the wife's younger sister who was helping her out at home and with the kids. When the wife found out she became so heartbroken she took ill. This led to her death, after which the younger sister fully took over as madam of the home. In fact the husband moves around arrogantly like nothing happened.
So my dear poster you require God's wisdom. You alone know all the relevant parties and their capabilities. But from your narrative the girl is innocent and an orphan. We here can only conjecture. I pray you take the right decision. Please update us.
Guys are hitting on her? If you have female children won’t guys hit on them too? How will you ‘off load’ that wahala??
ReplyDeleteAnd for the people suspecting the husband, has distance ever stopped a cheat? You chase the girl away, he doesn’t have to look far to get another willing participant.
I suggest you continue training this girl from your home. Teach her like you would teach your kids. She is more susceptible to go astray in the village, there is less control there contrary to what people usually think.
If it seems this will cause problems with your husband, i.e, he seeing it as a challenge to his authority, then send her away, but it’s not fair. What’s your husband’s reason? Just because guys are hitting on her? Not good enough.
This is definitely it. Sdk, I can’t believe you suggest something like this. So if she tear eye, next thing is to steal her husband. If not for condition, should someone be a maid before going to school? In Germany can you suggest something like this? What happened to women supporting women. Let the girl be, talk to your husband and don’t because of your insecurities or husband indiscretions terminate a girl’s bright future
ReplyDeletePlease I am the poster of this. Thank you stella.
ReplyDeleteLet me state here unequivocally that my husband's issue is not the attraction to this girl as suggested by some here. He hasn't given me any cause to ever suspect him. We are both believers in Jesus and do study our Scriptures very well. I am not talking about just going to church. My husband only overheard me and my friend discussing this and mentioned that she could be saying some sense. The fear is, supposing she gets pregnant by the boys around us? I also asked my friend, where will I send my first daughter when she gets to that age? That one looks like a biracial and is already generating lots of admiration.
Let me also say that since we took this orphan girl in, our blessings have been enormous and my husband acknowledges this. My last child does not yet know that the girl is not her biological sister.
Thanks for the update.
DeleteYou are not going to send this child away; are you? YOu are obeying God in keeping an orphan educated and fed under your roof. Just make sure that you and
your husband have the unity of the Spirit and maintain the bond of peace in doing this God assigned talk. And be very careful about that lady
you call "friend." People usually think that other people behave like them, even when they are Christians. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Dear poster
DeleteMen exist everywhere
I believe you read the story of the girl that was molested.
Why send her home to no parental guidance?
Men will hunt her and take advantage of her because there's no one to teach her well.
Thank God your hubby isn't the problem, raise that girl right and she will be there for your kids when they feel mummy is too strict to open up to.
Please do not throw her to the wolves.
Please send me this girl that gave you enormous luck I need her in my life
DeleteGod forbids your daughter gets pregnant by her mate in school,what will happen?
DeleteJust give the girl sex education and keep talking to her as you would if she were your biological daughter
Thank God for the kind of husband you have because I don't see the issue here at all.
Imagine the kind of seeds people are already sowing based on your chronicle!!!
At the end of day you know your family situation better than we all do. Do what gives you peace of mind and let God guide you on this.
Delete@17:52
DeleteOrphans are everywhere around you; you can adopt one or as many as you like. That is the Word of God in operation here.
Believe the Word and reap the blessings James 1:27, Deut. 14:28-29
@ twin squared ,it's now you are advising her to let God guide her. Indeed , being a good Christian is not by tying your ears with scarf. It is how we relate with people around us.
DeleteMay God keep us alive to train our kids , so they don't find themselves in situation whereby they are being chased away from the only home they know because they are growing breastsand hips .
Poster, pls do not send the girl home. Continue treating her like yours and give her sex education.
Delete@17:52 what are you saying? So peradventure the girl comes to your home and bad luck starts you will blame the girl? Then maltreat her? Abeg stop thinking of people as lucky charms. If you want to help someone help out of the kindness of your heart. It is God that blesses good deeds. He sees through the heart of men and their motives. Of course the girl can be blessed by God, but my point is that should not be the reason to want to help her.
DeleteGod bless you for treating another woman's child like yours. May you reap all the good you've done to her and more.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your concerns, to be honest with you, please do as your husband has said. He may not honestly tell you why he's agreeing with your friend but the story Stella mentioned up there scares me a bunch!
Please keep assisting her from wherever she is and may your source of supplies keep blossoming. Can you consider sending her to a boarding school and from there to the university instead of her going back to the village permanently? She can go to her village on holidays and back to the boarding school. I wish you all the best.
@Cynthia
DeleteAnd the boarding school is where the husband will not go and drive her to a hotel to do whatever he likes?
You have a "form of godliness but denies the power;" the power of faith expressing itself through Love, the Love of God.
Each and everyone of us own a duty to train ourselves to be godly. This girl and indeed this family is presented as believers in Christ,
not church goers and you assume that what Christ said should not be mentioned among us; sexual immorality is taking place there?
Wow!
In Stella's story, did she tell you that the man or wife or maid is a believer in Christ? It goes to show that you all do not understand
what the Gospel of Grace that Jesus's death secured for us is all about. That one can live free from sinful pleasures is a fact.
I am shocked at the comments of the so called christians on this blog. Seems the only thing they obey is sexual purity but have disdain for the greatest commandment which is "love".
DeleteIf by now the husband does not see the girl as his child ,then he has a big problem .
It appears from her chronicle that the husband does not view the maid as his child. However her update in comment session is implying otherwise. Like I said poster na you know your people. If your husband is not a problem, why won't you keep caring for the orphan child?
DeleteSo what happens when your daughter attains puberty and her natural endowments start showing? Will you send her away and to where? Concerning your husband,what do you do about all the well endowed ladies in the neighborhood and at his place of work or on the streets?
ReplyDeleteHow many husbands make it a side hustle to be looking around for who can seduce, snatch or even impregnate their wives?
It's saddening how we don't bat an eyelid when we want to make decisions that will truncate other people's destinies or reasons that are due to no fault of theirs
I don't know what to say about your friend except if she knew something about your husband and was trying to warn you
I would have started from my friend. Ask her questions ...probe into this. If at the end she just spoke because she sha wanted to say something, I will advise you leave the girl alone but if she's aware your husband has started harassing the girl, you can send the girl to a boarding school, let her go to her family for holiday and return to school from there.
Pls don't truncate the girls destiny because we all pray each day for destiny helpers for us and our children
Thanks for your wholesome reasoning. 100 likes.
DeleteThanks 15:47
DeleteGod bless you
DeleteStella I disagree, doest it mean if that girl were to be her biological daughter will you take her to the village because you have a husband.
ReplyDeleteProtect her as much as you can like your own daughter .unless if she is the one misbehaving.
Even if you take her to the village does it stop your husband from messing around.
God has put this girl in your hand for a reason, don't let her destiny be truncated except if she use her hand to truncate it.
As for me, I'm getting a house boy. No time for a story that touches! Period....
ReplyDeleteBut in the world we are today, there are gay husbands, so getting a house boy is not a solution.
DeleteMake sure you no born girl.
DeleteAlso be careful for him not to set you up for robbery.
Houseboy is a very big problem if you have a daughter attaining puberty.
DeleteAnd how about you and the houseboy doing it? Train yourself, your family to godliness and stop
Deletebeing paranoid.
Poster, please I beg you please don't send her home. Don't listen to your friend please. It's beg I'm begging you. As you continue treating her as your own child, you will never regret it and God's blessings will never depart from your home. May God continue using you to be a blessing to that girl
ReplyDeleteFriends!!! What they have caused in this life. Why did you tell your husband what you discussed with your friends? There are somethings you should apply wisdom in saying. Now you don't know the real reason he's buying thier idea. It could be that he's avoiding expenses not even necessarily that he may begin to be attracted to her.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I saw yoruba women who sell amala and I also saw tailors keep young girls in thier houses and raise them. These girls graduate, start doing well for themselves and later come back with big smiles to appreciate thier madam. Hardly you'd hear of anyone of them getting pregnant. Thier madams were very strict with them. As a child I use to term it as wickedness, but now I know better.
How old is this girl and what class is she? Few years from now, she will leave your house to the campus. Are you saying that you can't raise her? Do you have female children? If you can't raise this one, what's the guarantee that you'll be able to raise yours well? I really applaud you for taking care of her this far. God will greatly reward you. But your job is not finished yet. Just a few more strokes and you'll be done. Please.
In my opinion, please help that girl. Let me tell you. Your husband can even sleep with your own children. If that's what you are afraid of. If push comes to shove, you can send her to a boarding house. Though I dislike boarding school with a passion.
I cried while reading this. I even said a prayer for her. My darling poster, you don't want to experience what it means to be all alone in this world. Especially as a growing child. With no one to turn to. You can be strict, firm but loving towards her. Monitor her movement. Handle her the way you'd handle your female children when they begin to come of age. Keep an eagle's eye on her. Create rules for her and follow them strictly. Raise her in the way of the Lord. Pray fervently for her. God has committed that soul into your hands. Treat her the way you'd want someone to treat your child if (God forbid) you are no more.
See, if you've really raised that girl in the way of the Lord, and you continue with prayers for her, NOTHING, I mean NOTHING will make her go astray. Thank God you are a Christian. As for your husband, tell the Holy Spirit to convince him to forget the matter. Also tell tell the Spirit to make him not have interest in her.
Read James 1:27. Use the amplified version and the new living translation so you can really understand that verse.
She's an orphan. Please help her. God bless you.
Thank u for this comment
DeleteAmen!
DeleteGod bless you somuch for this
DeleteGod bless you
DeletePoster if this girl is your sister and you both are the only children of our parents will you listen to your friend? What you need to do is to make her confide in you, guide her love her just like your own daughter, she will never forget you tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteNigerian men can’t control their urge and blame women’s body. Shame
ReplyDeletePoster Please that your friend should be looked twice..She is the type that will be advising people not to buy sanitary pads for your househelp...Pray very well and seek God's guidance..Don't allow people project their fears and insecurity on you...
ReplyDeleteBy now you should know your husband...There is a word called SELF CONTROL and DISCIPLINE that should be in every human being..If that is lacking, then it is very sad indeed.
Also once men start seeing that you have started developing boobs and hips, they will woo and cat call you..You can't escape this but you have the control and handle such...Good that you are teaching her the scriptures and she sees you as her mother...Teach her sex education and how to face the world, make the right and informed decisions and to be an all round mature adult...If you send her to village, to meet and stay with who?
Remember God does not play with Widows/Widowers and Orphans...So please don't take any wicked actions..All the best...
Sending her away won't stop your husband if he has a wandering 3rd leg, he can even go to the extent of looking for her without your knowledge. Don't let no friends tell you what to do in your house, remember she didn't wrong you.
ReplyDeleteJust, send her to school but during holidays she can go to her house, don't just leave her like that when she haven't done anything bad to you.
ReplyDeleteOh God of the orphaned, plz come through for this little girl who has done no wrong 🙏
ReplyDeleteHusbands dey suffer sha. Condemnation without accusation and proof!
ReplyDeleteThank God all wives are saints.
Since most of you Nigerian men have decided to present yourselves like animals, you will be addressed as such.
DeletePlease don't send her away,she is an orphan,she has no where to go,pray about it and keep a close tab,educate her on sexual temptation and how to avoid it otherwise you will stop paying her school fees,God will direct you on what to do,not every maid is evil
ReplyDeletePlease don't send her away,she is an orphan,she has no where to go,pray about it and keep a close tab,educate her on sexual temptation and how to avoid it otherwise you will stop paying her school fees,God will direct you on what to do,not every maid is evil
ReplyDeleteWhich kind friend is this? Evil people all around. This child will just suffer for what she knows nothing about. Please keep a close tab around her, just like you have been doing for her and your kids. Nothing of such would happen
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeletePlease for the Love of God; keep training your daughter (as she already calls you Mummy). Chasing her away will put deep scars inside her-as it will be like losing her parents twice in this life time.
She's a teenager who is blossoming; so educate her on Sex education together with your children. Train her to University level as initially planned, and God will reward you Greatly.
There are lots of "Fears" in this world we live in but do we stop living because of fears? Don't we equip ourselves with knowledge and experience and then boldly fight those so called fears???
If you chase her out, your conscience won't be clear, and it's a sign of betrayal on her and your children too because she has been a dutiful child to you and your husband. Remind your husband that she is part of the family and you don't throw family away.
Thank you for all you have done so far for her and may the Good Lord continue to Bless you and your home Abundantly. Amen!
WOW! The friend , your husband and Stella are all not good people ! such evil and very ill advised! Girls are sexualized and punished for developing naturally ! all she is done wrong at this point is to develop and you people want her to pay for it ? from her fellow women nonetheless !
ReplyDeletePlease dont listen to Stella , your friend and kindly reason with your husband. this girl deserves quality education and yea please ditch your friend, she is a bad one ! very bad one, she is probably the one who has eyes for your husband oo, be there
So many thoughts running through my mind.
ReplyDelete1. Could your maid have seen something between your husband and your friend and they want her gone before she spills?
2. Could your friend have noticed how oga sees the maid and trying to warn you of something?
Well this is my advise; if you can afford it, send the maid to a boarding school if you still want to help. On vacation, she should go straight to her village not your house. If that is too expensive, send her back to her people and support her however you can from there. No Matter what you do, I think you should listen to your husband, he's the head of your household.
Now to your adviser friend, as soon as you send the girl away, cut her off too. People with her kind of mindset are dangerous, let her go before she comes up with another advise that costs you your peace of mind.
And you will stop a man from driving his daughter from a boarding house?
DeleteWhat if that child was your adopted child.. Officially?? Will you send her away because some men have started 'hitting' on her? Or as people are suggesting on here, that your hubby has started 'eyeing' up his own adopted daughter? Please how does this sound to you? Would you not sit her down and talk to her, as a mother would? Why send that poor girl back to the village, because of your paranoia? How on earth would you now train your own biological daughters when they start blossoming??
ReplyDeleteThank you. Poster don't stop being you. She needs your direction and not abandonment
DeletePoster, please continue to take care of that girl. She is your daughter!!. Study the situation more and you will have direction. Don't leave the maid with your husband alone and like someone asked, are you sure the maid did not catch your husband and friend doing the do?
ReplyDeleteI wish I can adopt the girl poor child with no one to help her. 😭
ReplyDeleteI swear totally.Stellas advice is evil triggering
DeleteNo wonder you have enemies @stella you’re not a good person
ReplyDeleteLike I always tell wives and new moms, invest in a hidden camera. The faeces in the stomach doesn't smell. After watching her in ur absence, u wil know her deep character.
ReplyDeleteThat aside, keep her, she seems nice, not all of us wit attractive face and bodies are easily moved.
Hmm your 2nd sentence is deep oh
DeleteIn whatever you decide to do, please don't abort a bright future. Yes, God can raise another help for her if you choose not to continue now but in the future, you may look back and wish you were the one who did it.
ReplyDeleteThat girl has committed no offence. She's your daughter. Please take care of her and protect her like your own.
Thank you for taking good care of her. God bless
ReplyDeleteDon't send her home but pls plant CCTV cameras in your house, especially in her room,So you can monitor things at home in your absence and even when you are around.
And be careful with that your friend, she has a dirty and evil mind, I won't be surprised if she's the one eyeing your husband.
Would you like someone to plant CCTV in YOUR room????? Ah, make una fear God o!.
DeleteI’ve just come to the conclusion today that women are evil as in very very evil goshh
ReplyDeleteYou think when the snake went through eve he didn't know what he was doing. After devil fear women o
DeleteIt's sad 😔 😟 🙁 😥
DeleteIs it that there are no good girls anymore? What if your help is naturally a good person with conscience?
ReplyDeleteAnd if your husband is truly a good Christian, he won't suggest you abandon the girl knowing she has no one.
He sud discipline his flesh and overlook side talks.
Lastly pray and fast asking God to help you make the right decision. He surely will
The poster knows the kind of husband she's married to, someone like me can never be scared of having a grown lady in my house. Poster , please u started this race, don't leave her now, she needs you now than ever
ReplyDeletePoster, the only question I have to ask you here is
ReplyDeleteIf this same girl is your daughter and men hitting her up,since she don't have anyother home except her parents house,pls will you send her out??
Poster I beg you in the name of God,do not send her back ,do not listen to Stella's advice but train and educate this good girl in a way you ought to do to your own biological child if she finds her self in this situation. Remember men hitting her up is never her own decision but nature taking its place.May God bless you always as you keep that poor orphan.
Cheers
Your friend is a destiny destroyer. Please teach your maid what you will teach your own biological daughter when she clocks 13 and guys start making passes
ReplyDeleteSending her back to the village will make her vulnerable. Comit her to God in prayer. God will bless you and secure your home.
Prayer is the key 🔑
ReplyDeleteIf she’s your daughter gan gan will u even think of sending her home?pls continue taking care of her and watch over her like you would your own daughter.Don’t listen to that evil friend,if that girl was living with her,she would’ve killed her.All these kind of evil friends sef hanhan
ReplyDeletePlease do not send her to the village, you're her destiny helper.God bless you abundantly
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm horribly shocking comments everywhere. Lord!
ReplyDeleteGod please, I don't want to die young and leave my child in this wicked world. It's a cold cold world.
Very cold wicked world @castle amen to your prayer
DeleteWhat is gonna be is gonna be, if you stop helping? God will bring another help or helper to the girl. And who told you that wherever you are sending the girl to, your husband can't go there if he so desired. I beg live your life normal and leave insecurity alone
ReplyDeleteNigerians are quick to call themselves Christians. study the scriptures, speak in tongues. your husband and u r obviously not Christian's see the way u r analyzing an orphan. let me tell u after portipher sent Joseph to prison, when Joseph became prime minister did he ever associate himself with them. As much as the are bad tales of maids, I know of some who have become great in life and do more for their sponsors than the sponsors biologically kids. you mentioned she is an orphan. God has just blest you with a no stress child. throw it away. you think God is not watching you.another person who is to help your child one day ll think and reconsider. watch!
ReplyDelete