Dr Freaks Journal - If You Dont Know The Story, Shut Up!

Recently, a friend of mine made a "side comment" (not in a negative sense though) about the occasional "Public Displays of Affection" (P.D.A) between me and my spouse and I simply smiled. Unknown to that friend of mine, that smile was pregnant with meanings.

 

Where do I start from?


As much as I undertake not to sound stereotypical, for the record, let me state that my wife is from the Eastern part of Nigeria (Whatever that means to my reader.)

We both graduated from the University at the same time and both got called to the Nigerian Bar. For the first one year of my practice, I was still trying to find my feet like most of my contemporaries, until "fortune smiled upon me" and I found my way to a law firm where I had the best time of my pupilage years!


One thing led to another, in 2008, whilst I was still staying with my sister for the simple reason that I could not afford to rent an apartment of my own with the pittance I was earning at the time, my spouse and I decided to walk down the aisle. I won't bore my reader with unnecessary details here. 

In 2008, we got married at a popular church around Lekki-Lagos and the reception followed somewhere in Ajah-Lagos. After the razmattaz, we checked into our room in one "2-star" hotel in Omole Housing Estate and had our bespoke "honeymoon", for one night! The following day, we were back in my sister's house as husband and wife. Eight days after she had to be away for some months again, whilst I remained at my sister's. To God be the glory, through the help of some God-sent vision helpers, we were able to rent our own apartment 3 months after marriage.

 As God would have it, our landlord and family turned out to be FAMILY! I can remember that first visit they made to our apartment. Few days after we moved in, my landlord offered to pay us a visit but I was not so excited about the visit because we had just 2 plastic chairs in that massive living room of ours then, and the smallest TV money could buy, and I think a deep freezer we were gifted by our "Sponsors" on our wedding day. I eventually acceded to their request and hosted them.

One thing struck my mind, despite the pitiable condition in which we were living, the couple did not express any form of shock, instead, they elected to encourage us with their own story. Their words pierced through my mind. Ours was a 3-bedroom flat after all, they started from a one-bedroom apartment and God had elevated them. Slow and steady wins the race. We forged ahead, my Igbo Princess stood by me, and God kept us alive.


At some point, I had to sell my most valuable property in life -my car, to be able to sustain the young family and I was forced to move around in "Danfo" and "Okada" for 1 year and 3 months, guess what, I was undeterred. Do you know what, under 24 hours, God blessed me with 2 cars thereafter: one official; the other personal.


I've had cause to sell another car to pay school fees. Life goes on.


My most memorable experience was one rainy day. I was returning from work and I was wearing my new grey suit for the very first time. (Thanks to my brother HD, the one who made it possible for many struggling lawyers like me to wear decent suits by extending to us a flexible payment plan.) It rained cats and dogs and I had prayed to God in my heart to at least stop the rain and preserve my new pair of suit. By the time I would reach my bus stop, the tempo of the rain had increased and I had to seek shelter in the market stalls around the bus stop. All the roofs were leaking and I was drenched by the rain. Thank God my laptop was salvaged because I had since bought a large polythene bag and tucked my laptop bag inside, but my new pair of suit was not so lucky. Chemical reactions took place, there was colour separation! I attempted to dye my precious suit after but it got worse. I lost it, but I did not lose hope. I forged ahead and she stood by me.


If you are reading this and you are a woman and you know in your heart of hearts that you can marry a man who is squatting with his sister at the time of marriage, feel free to judge me.


If you are reading this, and you know that you could marry a man who was earning 35,000 Naira in 2008, envy her.


She was there when it mattered most in my life. She knew me when I had 2 pairs of shoes, or less and when we both slept on a mat for more than 2 weeks before my sister gifted us her bed and mattress.


So, within me, I was just saying to my friend -"if you don't know my story, just keep your mouth shut because you really don't know me".


On a day like this, I can only look back and say thank you Lord.


In any event, I will forever be an advocate of "start little and grow big, together".

Stay safe

It's Kunle!