Doctor Freaks Journal - Mama Put Food Cooked With Privates Water..

Yesterday, I stumbled into an old newspaper publication of 20 November 2020 with the caption "Woman Who Cooks With Mortuary Water To Attract Customers In Akwa Ibom Arrested."

That "Mama-Put" That You Eat With Relish, Do You Even Know Where The "Water" Came From? 

Interesting times we live in, I must admit. As a younger person, I told an elderly person that the world must have been a better place in "their time" and to my utter amazement, he begged to differ. My older friend shared the view that things were even worse in "their" own time and that it was the people of my generation who were trying to make the world a better place. As a more mature boy today, I couldn't agree more with him.


1987:


I was in JSS 3 at the time and there was this moderate "bukateria" (credits to Prof Wole Soyinka) very close to "The School" where the naughty ones like me used to sneak out to, to have a feel of some home-made food.

 The environment was not extraordinary though as it was sited within the precinct of a mechanic workshop, but it was relatively neat. The operator was a beautiful and distinctly neat woman. Before I proceed, let me quickly add that she had a more beautiful daughter, "my first crush!" For me, the attraction was more of the beautiful daughter who helped out at the bukateria. We were of the same age. She was a bit shy but I was even too scared to say hi and no thanks to my childhood buddy -KA who was/is smarter and "more charming" (just that today he looks like a nine-month-old "man") who could summon up the courage to break the ice.


"Jisi" (real names withheld) was a "paragon of beauty!" Mama Jisi bukateria was our (the "Ameco Boys") unusual favourite spot. How we looked forward to having a feel of her delicious dishes! At some point, it was rumoured that she was doing great "demon" (demonic) stuff to attract the kind of huge clientele that she was attracting at the time but who cares right? We were just kids and all we wanted was a good dish, a departure from the "potty" that we were being fed with in the hostel. The rumour persisted but we were unstoppable. 

On a serious note, I noticed some strange looking strands of curly hair in my stew on a few occasions but those could have found their ways there fortuitously, especially if the head of the cook was not properly covered, even though they looked more like hair from the pubic region.


We continued to live in denial until that fateful day when Mama Jisi was reportedly exposed. It's been 34 long years now and my memory may have been slightly distorted. It was alleged that Mama Jisi was cooking with "private part water" to attract customers. I can vividly remember that her bukateria was destroyed by an angry mob and that marked the end of an era.


What about Jisi (my first crush) right? That was the last I ever heard of her.


That now brings me to the meat of my piece. Why is the soul of Man this wicked? Because you want to make money, other people must feed on water from dead people! I can even still deal with Mama Jisi's (please note that this is not an endorsement) after all I hate those dishes for more than two years, but not "mortuary water!"


We've had similar reports in the past, but I'm afraid, nothing serious may have come out of this too, like several others.


How I wish I can avoid all these "Iya Basiras" completely. All those "amala" joints! You know what, that which you don't know won't kill you. The one you ate yesterday, do you even know where they got the water from?


Stay safe!

It's Kunle..