STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
URGENT ADVICE NEEDED
Pls I need urgent advice.
Pls I need urgent advice.
I have been married for close to 6yrs. I have never had any reason to suspect my hubby of any form of cheating. He’s a great father and has been a good husband. Great with communication and transparent to a good extent. He knows I have his phone and ATM passwords though I hardly check his phone.
There was a recent family brouhaha so I was going through his family WhatsApp chat to get update on the turn of events to know who said what and all that because he gives half gist. I came across a chat between him and a former female staff of his who relocated to another state, I think she got a better job offer.
From the chat she has been coming to him from time to time for financial assistance, from sick mom to house rent to start up, she recently claimed to have lost her job too. Hubby has helped her in the past but of late has been posting her.
My concern now is seeing his chat where he told her he would be coming to her base for a business meeting and they should perhaps meet to discuss about the business she said she wants to start? How do I keep my cool? Should I confront him about this? He’s billed to travel in 2days.
*Just let him know you read the chats and ask him if he really wants to help her..Dont insinuate he might sleep with her.. just be mature and smart..... I am sure when he comes back you will continue to update yourself on their gist to see if they slept together right? This is what snooping does to some.....
I am no longer 100 percent of the opinion that snooping is bad, in some case it is just better to let that dog sleep....
Ask him or wait until he gets back and check his phone, then you too, please update us oh...
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,this one get as e be, or you ask him if he will see that his colleague then hear what he will say
ReplyDeleteBabe, be your husband's chief cheer leader. Find reason to use his phone in his presence and happen upon his chat with her. start first by commentiong on her DP then to the content of their chat. laugh out loud and give your husband gist of such girls calling sincer helpers like him mugu. No matter what you do, DO NOT HINT AT SEXUALITY. just tell him not to let her take advantage of him, that there are better people who needs his help where God will see his endavour and bless him. DO NOT SPOIL THINGS WITH YOUR INSECURITIES OR SUSPICIONS O. You must let your husband see that you trust him and you are on his side.
DeleteAfterwards, if he is trustworthy as we pray he is, he will be the one to give you gist.
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 🤗 🤗 😘 😘 😘
DeleteLol Stella, it's your last paragraph for me.
DeleteNa real wa o..Human beings are just so unpredictable and it be nice you confront him..
ReplyDeleteThis situation is somehow
ReplyDeleteIs the the help you are not happy about or you think he is cheating with her.
Is there anything from their chat that shows they are in an unholy relationship?
For me o, I won't feel good if someone continuously returns to my husband for financial help if he is not that person's father or husband.
Even some family members you help them to a point and leave them, except their situation is really ugly.
Well if you think they are dating and your husband is the shameless type without conscience then there is nothing you can do that will make him not to sleep with her on on this particular meeting.
Goodluck to you
You help family members consistently, you don't leave them. Except you don't have the resources to help .
DeleteThis is dicey, if you ask him and he has an ulterior motive, he'll start deleting his chats or he may end up cutting ✂️ it off with her. If you keep quiet 🤐🤫 and he goes to see her, they may have a tumble in the sheet.
ReplyDeleteMake your decision wisely.
Poster please keep your cool...You have seen the chat already and all..Give him the benefit of doubt...If he went there for something else, it won't be long he will be exposed...Please don't confront him because he will turn it around on you..Just watch how events will turn off...The slowness or calmness of the pace of a tiger does not mean laziness or gentility...I wish you wisdom...All the best..
ReplyDeletePoster,your husband will start deleting chat with the babe if you confront him making you to be in the dark..
ReplyDeleteI will advise you keep cool,dont ask him anything..allow him to travel and when he gets back,wait for some days before going through their chat again to see if they gbenshed!...
Keep calm,dont be a mugu!..
Play smart..
Don't even let cheating cross ur mind,so u won't use it to messup ur home..
ReplyDeleteJust have a discussion with him maturely and hear him out then give ur own advice that all..
He hasn't given any reason to suspect him
If I were you, I will keep quiet about it. Depending on how many days he is spending there,will give him time to settle in and ask him when he plans to see her.if he tells me,will give him time(will be sending him how much I love him and I miss him when I know he is with her,and how he should not disappoint me. Will even pray for him not to fall into temptations) and call him up later to know how it went
ReplyDeleteAsk your husband about her and warn him to be careful with her. I would do same. The lady definitely has ulterior motive so it is left for your husband to be wise and also help her from a distance of he must do so. In fact, come out straight and tell him to help her from a distance, he should not meet up with her because women are crafty.
ReplyDeleteJeweluchi has found Jesus o💃💃💃💃💃
ReplyDeleteAnyway poster, don't ask like you're interrogating him,just ask like you care to know and how he intends to help her,from there you will get the information that you want and slightly add that,he should be careful because some girls misinterpret being kind to wanting to have an affair with them.
Hhahahahahahshshshshshshhahahahahahahahaa... naive women everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he's cheating on you with her. Just be mature about it and secretly follow up. He might just want to help her out of her financial mess, all the best dear
ReplyDeleteAhh don't tell him you READ his chat or make him suspicious in any way, if he knows he will START deleting his messages and you won't be able to found OUT about anything. So let him go and do whatever he want to do, whether he's going for a business trip, he want to go and fuck, or he wants to do both you will definitely see and know about everything when he comes back. Because men will always be men...der will always talk about der SEXUAL power, the styles involved, the soundtrack etc with the other woman on phone or through chat so just chill and CALM down ok? Because if he knows you are on into him...you won't get to solve or see anything! When you get your evidence then you can now confront the cheater! Oh...I mean your husband 🙄 and you will also know if it was just business trip and nothing more from der chat together when he got back.
ReplyDeleteShe should keep quiet and let him sleep with her if he likes? I honestly don't get how some people are ok with their partners sleeping with someone else.
DeletePoster, don't keep quiet pls. Let him know you saw their chats and tell him to be careful. Also, tap his phone and monitor him.
Except you don't mind if he goes there and sleeps with her. I don't condone cheating.
What is your business with the family WhatsApp group. How does knowing who said what enhance your life. Learn to respect your husband's privacy. Whatever he tells you about his family is more than enough for you. people like you destroy families. You read the chat between your husband and the former staff, there is no proof of cheating. You are worried and pained that he is helping the young lady. Go and foolishly confront your husband and see the changes that will manifest in your relationship with your husband. How is helping those we have capacities to help a problem. You are probably one of those wives who become sick, unhappy and pained when your husband go out of his way to help his members of his family. You are on the wrong path and will someday soon use your hands to destroy your marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by what's her business with the family chat? Is she not part of the family?!
DeleteAlex, this your mindset is honestly not the best. From the way the woman has written up there, her tone, she really has no problem.
DeleteWhy won’t she check his family chat? Isn’t she part of it? Won’t she know what’s happening in her family? If she doesnt show interest, who else is supposed to? Meanwhile, the family will be thinking she knows and she will be in the dark. Pls stop this.
She obviously does not seem to be angry that he helped the lady. And yes, a married man helping a single lady continuously will become suspicious at a point. Put yourself in her shoes . Stop being closed minded.
It’s mot like she was snooping. It was just a happenstance. And if she was snooping, she has every right to!
She said her husband is good with communicating with her. But he particularly kept this long term “help” away from her. Why??????
Married women didn’t do anything to you. Open your mind and use your brain.
Poster, there’s a good advice down there. The person said you should read his chat in his presence and happen upon the message and give him advice and leave him to his conscience. That’s it. Then pray and leave everything to God.
For me, I will not keep quiet and watch. I don’t know why people are saying that. I should watch? What if it actually happens? I’ll be watching when God gave me prior information to try and prevent it? Am I not my husbands helpmeet? I’m not watching anything but I won’t fight him. I’ll do exactly that up there. Wisdom is profitable to guide.
1. Does he know you check his chats?
ReplyDelete2. Do you know the said colleague in person or you got all these information from the chat?
3. Does your husband respect you i.e listen to you?
4. How healthy is your communication status with your hubby?
5. Have you ever given him any sign of "I don't trust you around other women?"
Reasons for the questions:
1. If he doesn't know you check his chats then you could be cooking trouble for your home. He'll start being extra careful around you with his phone.
2. If you know her or he has talked about her before then you can say like: "Hey honey, I was going through your chats and I saw that you wanna meet up with ....... who needs help. Please just be careful, ok?"
3. If he listens to you, then by all means talk with him about it. One thing with we women is that we have a lot going through our minds and most often expect that the men around us should know. These men are humans. They won't know if you don't tell them. In talking you may discover that there's nothing to it or you may also find that there's fire on the mountain. But whichever way, it will help you nip it in the bud as this may be his first attempt at cheating.
4. Talk about it. Discuss it with him. Communication is key. Start it playfully. Don't make it confrontational. Don't let him travel without the discussion. This is because if he had anything in mind, he'll now be conscious of his actions.
5. If you have given him the "I-dont-trust-you attitude, then be very careful in your choice of words.
Above all pray for your husband. From your write-up, he seems a good man. But even good men come to temptation.
"And lead us not into temptation..."
Insecure girls and wives everywhere.
ReplyDeleteTell your husband what you observed observed asked him or advise him not to have sex with her.omo which kind love una dey love way be say spouses can't re afford their love and commitment to one another in thr face of distrust and all.
Tell him,and if he loves you he should be able to say,darling..oh..that's nothing,trust me I can't cheat on you and disrespect you..and he concludes it with a hug and a peck.Thats love!
You all marry for wrong reasons and come to disturb us for petty issues.poster,this is your home oh.protect it
poster tells him that you have been seeing that his ex-worker in your dreams and the thing is doing you one kind. Then ask him if he has heard from her recently if he says yes. Then ask him if all is well with her. If he tells you that she is in a financial situation and needs help, then your mind can calm down. You can now use brain to advise. Don't outrightly stop him from helping her. But if he says no tell him that you saw her in a fight. Just use your sense sha I. Don't tell him that you read his chat o.
ReplyDeleteUpdate us o.
ReplyDeletePls don't tell him anything...keep it cool..screenshots his chats...wait till he returns...check his chat and screenshot again..he get why
ReplyDeleteMadam read his chat in his presence and ask o. These hungry girls are not joking o. She fit rape your husband, carry belle join am sef.
ReplyDeleteShe can even drug him and make him sleep with her.
DeleteMadam why would your husband not tell you about this girl all this while he has been helping her? What is your communication like?
Pls tell him what you saw and warm him to be careful around her, he should not drink or eat anything she offers him if it is even necessary to meet up with her. Why meeting her sef? Ask him if it was you, how will he feel?
Dont say a word.
ReplyDeleteWait till he come back.
And then check that chat again.
If you confront now, if he is actually a cheat, he will lock up, turn this thing around and make you look foolish.
If he is not a cheat, and just wants to simply assist, you will still look foolish.
Wait.
When food dey fire, dem no dey cook am according to the hunger otherwise u for dey chop raw meat tire.
In the meantime, insist on condom. If possible double it. If he asks tell him you have toilet infection.
HIV, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes are real.
*****You cannot police a wandering penis. That is not what God brought you to earth to do with your life.
She should tell him she has toilet infection?
DeleteWhy TF is toilet infection?
The devil is about to lead your husband astray and it's your duty as a wife to help him not fall into.
ReplyDeleteStylishly read the chats in his presence and let him know what some women are capable of. Then leave him and his conscience.
Thank you
DeleteImagine some comments saying she should keep quiet. She should keep quiet and allow him stray and have evidence, like seriously? Evidence that you will use and do what?
DeletePoster you know what best to do is your home because even if we say anything you will still allow love to stop you from doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteTalk to the Holy spirit on the best words and approach.
Ask him. Don't accuse him of cheating
ReplyDelete