Hmmmmm...
SERIAL ASEWO HUSBAND
My husband is a serial ashawo.
My husband is a serial ashawo.
I don't think there is a word to describe his type. He can't stand women and feminism naturally but sleeps around with them like a rabid dog. I'm disgusted.
It's past the phase of crying, hurting, wondering if there are things I've done or doing to cause it. Right now I've accepted that this is who he is. I fear women maybe the end of him.
I feel he is cursed because the rate at which he chases them is abnormal or maybe its normal for men... What maybe saving him now is that he isn't super wealthy because by then he will eventually be jazzed and destroyed completely by an intentional woman. Its actually disgusting .
I've not slept with him for the past 2 years and I don't think I ever will again. The marriage is more now for convenience for both of us and the kids. I haven't left because I'm not looking for love anywhere and he is a great dad to the kids.
Maybe its the fear of the unknown? Or cowardice? I'm not even 30 and that's neither here nor there but I'm so over it all. I've been very naïve all my life, lived a very sheltered life prior to marriage and probably married him to escape my prison.
Isn't it ironic that this is what it led to? It was traumatic at first realizing after marriage who I call my husband but now I've accepted he is a man destined for all women. My emotions are now detached to an extent reason why I may be living with it. It still aches from time to time, reason why I'm writing to let it out...
I can't even judge the women out there cause it seems there are no men anywhere and others who are into transactional sex are there for their own reasons. I pray my healing is permanent and I find my inner joy and peace from God.
I pray God blesses the works of my hands and my kids. Amen
*Your mindset is awesome right now but you will eventually get to a stage you need to decide to stay or leave for your own sanity..
Remember to stay focused on what is distracting you and stay positive to yourself..... Some women will be crying to end it all if they are stuck with a man like this..
Stay strong and all the best.
God will help you and lead you to the right path
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Wia u go since bro
DeleteLarry na woman na
DeleteMy dear so are you saying you will remain celibate for the rest of your life.
DeletePlease o
You deserve passion, you deserve to be loved and no this is not how all men are and this is not what marriage is about.
Have you tried praying? If you have focus on yourself growth and work. Atleast if you don't gain anything,gain self growth and your kids.
I won't ask you to leave but is there even a marriage?
Wo just do you, since you say it doesn't bother you
Not up to 30years? May God direct and give you wisdom.
DeleteHonestly, some men are destined for women
Leave na is it till he gives you hiv? Go Abeg
ReplyDeleteLearn to read before commenting, they are no longer sleeping together. Continue to do what makes you happy. See him as your neighbor, until you finally decide what to do with your life.
DeleteWia u go since
DeleteA marriage should be enjoyed not endured. No matter how detached you are, u will still feel hurt every time he sleeps with a woman. For ur own peace of mind, pls leave that marriage.
ReplyDeleteOn point
DeleteYou're putting yourself through serious emotional trauma. It will damage you, trust me. By the time you leave, you may end up being a shadow of yourself. You're better alone than this sham called marriage.
DeleteYou are a very strong woman.. You are emotionally detached from him and he is not bothered. He does not love you..
ReplyDeleteYou seem really broken and i think it be nice you leave tbt.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't make any sense that he's who he is and you still decided to stay back in some emotionally loveless marriage
Yeah she should leave actually. Some situations can gradually turn you into a psycho without you even knowing. From numbing yourself from the pain, it transitions into something else.
DeleteExactly
DeleteImagine living passionless for years.
Or is he provider?
If that's the case then build yourself, go back to school... develop yourself and eventually bounce.
But you can't live passionless for the rest of your life, or kuku go to a convent and remain celibate.
Detach totally. Dont separate d kids from their dad seeing he is great with them. Give him a false sense of homefront and protect yourself. If you have a job or business, put all your energy in there.
ReplyDeleteWas he like this before you married him?
ReplyDeleteChai this is heartbreaking, but I like the fact that you don't allow it to affect your mental health, please if he's isn't stingy,ook for a way to milk him in order to have a strong bank account and investments, please whenever he's ready to come back,make sure you do all necessary medicals, stay happy ma, and don't forget ti make good friends,to distract you
ReplyDeleteIt's affecting her mental health. She's just living in denial.
DeleteI feel for u poster
ReplyDeletePrwy God help you
Be strong for your sanity and kids
She’s not detached anything she’s living in denial the pain she’s going through no be here. You leave before heartache kill you.
ReplyDeleteSome women actually dont care, if u like smash the whole of Nigeria.
DeleteThis is a marriage of convenience. You're still young to be stuck with a man who doesn't love you. The ball is in your Court, continue to be a mermaid in the marriage to avoid stories that touch. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteLovelace
I thought I sent this. Last week I commented that I was depressed and suicidal because my so called husband is just like this. He will cheat,beg and modify his ways and continue. I threatened to leave him cos this time I am treating an infection,but his parents are worried about how people will see them if I go back to my parents..my mother is not happy that I haven't left him. The culprit is busy behaving as if nothing is going to happen. His latest catch is a single mother with two kids and the prostitute has the guts to say that I look like my husband's elder sister and it's not her fault hubby looks handsome and young. I cried,I wanted to consult a marriage counselor let me know if it's absurd to walk away. Each day I feel like stabbing this man because I have given him nothing but all my love and I don't deserve this treatment one bit...I am only grateful to God for my son. This is a man I showed support by putting up with him in his family house for 2years now,to rent a common two bedroom flat of 250k is difficult for him but he has money to chase woman,going to visit her in her house while I am here trying to be a humble wife😭😭😭😭
ReplyDeleteWhy are you still sleeping with him? what if you get an incurable infection,your parents are in support of you leaving him so what is stopping you?you have a son so it will be easier to move on,you feel like stabbing him,he's not worth it,may God strengthen you and give you grace to do the right thing,just focus on your self, why are you still trying to be a humble wife?
DeleteBabe what u described used to be me. Only difference is that I realized early and just focused on my biz and children. Now I have left his sorry arse and moved out. I know u may not be able to do that but just focus on urself first and then ur children.
DeleteNa wa ooo. Please leave this man abeg. He is giving you diseases. He is not even rich. What is the point of him. Save yourself and go back home. How are you still even sleeping with this man.
DeleteI have stopped sleeping with him. I only caught this one when I didn't Snoop. As soon as I snooped and caught his sorry arse,I made up mind. I detest him.
DeleteYou people can stress yourself o
DeleteOne of my greatest fear is wasting my youth on anyone or anything that doesn't deserve it.
It scares me shitless
Your mum is even in support so why are you stalling?
Shebi you have decided to live a life of suffer head abi?? A lot of people in your situation haven't been able to leave because they don't have support or backing from their own family members. You are concerned about what your mother in law thinks?? Well, continue to drink water and mind your business in the fabu situationship you've found yourself in.
DeleteNo advise for you!!
Woman are you looking for pity? You are managing with little resource. When you catch that incurable disease, you will so regret it. Don't be selfish. Your kids do not want to lose their mum
DeleteMen ehn! shey we will not be putting pepper in their boxers like this. Sorry dear, ask God to heal the hurt. Infidelity is the only ground for divorce, this is just to show you the weight it carries.
ReplyDeleteI love your spirit
Dear poster, I admire your courage and resolve. Although I don't agree the whole scenario is healthy for you, I'll advise you put your wisdom to use ( you come across as smart.) You ain't 30 yet...its a long way from here...use it well.
ReplyDeleteMy sister God will see you through, marriage of this days dey discourage singles😔😔😔😔.
ReplyDeleteGirl, that you two don't engage in marital activity no mean say, he cannot rape you one day give you stds. Strategize well. You are not up to 30 you have a veeeeeerrrrrryyy long way to go. Plan your escape. He knows how lonely it would be when you leave. He may trap you with disease.
ReplyDeleteNice mindset poster.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't know how long you going to keep up considering you are about 30yrs? Or I didn't get your story right.
Hmmm this life hard o, May God direct you to do the right thing at the right time & opportunity.
At 30 years you have your whole life ahead of you so please you don’t have to stay in unhappy marriage. Life is too short look for something to do and take your Children out of that toxic environment please. I am shocked at the way you have resigned yourself to fate!
ReplyDeletePoster may God heal you, give you solomon's wisdom.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord help you to make the right decision that will benefit you now and in the future
ReplyDeleteSending you peace and light
Poster it is well. I like your spirit, may God give you the strength to carry on. He will definitely regret it in the future by that time he would have exposed himself to all sorts of infection
ReplyDeleteThe ball is in your court ma. If you want him to change, then table his matter before God. He is always ready to answer us if we humble ourselves in prayers. Are you ready to pray? I don't mean the usual 3days or one week prayer o. Declare never to stop praying until you see him change for good. Meanwhile, pray for yourself first. Pray for the grace to effectively forgive him. Answers to your prayer depends on it. Pray for the grace to persist until you see the result. The devil will fight that persistence. I pray that the Almighty God answers you in Jesus mighty name. Amen. Every woman deserves her husband's undivided attention and love in marriage. God bless you
ReplyDeleteLollllllll this is a very funny comment.
DeleteThe reason this country is soooooooooo poor in terms of wealth and intellectual capacity is because of religion.
Look at what an adult, a full grown one is saying:
E say make you praaaaaaaaaay.
The person waving his useless penis like the national flag cannot pray for himself nor is willing to change?
So what are you praying for?
Even God wont force you to change.
You say you want to live the rest of your life like this? Empty, bitter, unloved and sex starved?
Why?
Because if you search your deepest heart it is because you want to answer 'Missiz', because you are afraid of what people will say....
Enjoy.
Lollllllll this is a very funny comment.
DeleteThe reason this country is soooooooooo poor in terms of wealth and intellectual capacity is because of religion.
Look at what an adult, a full grown one is saying:
E say make you praaaaaaaaaay.
The person waving his useless penis like the national flag cannot pray for himself nor is willing to change?
So what are you praying for?
Even God wont force you to change.
You say you want to live the rest of your life like this? Empty, bitter, unloved and sex starved?
Why?
Because if you search your deepest heart it is because you want to answer 'Missiz', because you are afraid of what people will say....
Enjoy.
Poster I have a simple question for you. Would you be okay with your son or daughter having this kind of marriage/relationship you have? Oh you think you can continue to hide the true situation of things from them?
ReplyDeleteFYI, you are only laying a bad example for your children to emulate from. You might say God forbids, but the truth is you are only telling your girl child that the model of marriage you run now is very okay and if not careful, the cycle will be repeated with them.
You think you've become numb to his antics? I don't think so. It's only a matter of time before the door to the flurry of emotions you feel bursts open, and by then the damage will be far worse.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteSorry about what you are passing through in your marriage. Seek advice from your family, independent trained marriage counsellor(s), and act as you think best suits the challenge. Please in deciding, remember you have one life to live. Also ask yourself if you can live as you are for years until your children attain the age of independence since you say your husband's great "Daddying" is the keeping point for you in the marriage.
However, rest assured that your husband's behaviour as described is not, to use your words, "normal for men" irrespective of what ANY man or woman will tell you. So there is hope that with proper counselling and the hand of God, he can stop the behaviour. If he does not stop it when given the option by you, he is acting on his free will and decision; not any curse, not any normal man behaviour.
Some men and the women who encourage them or benefit from them SELL THE LIE that all men cheat or that no matter how sweet a marriage is at the beginning, all married men will cheat. When I started visiting this blog, I observed that the majority of women BVs are sold on that lie to the extent that any woman who says her husband does not cheat or asserts a good marriage is heckled.
If it will help in resolving this matter or any doubts in your mind on the challenge in your marriage, please know all men do not cheat.
I pray God heals your marriage.
May God comfort you poster and give you the right people.
ReplyDeleteThis journey can be lonely but with the right people it's easy.
God show up for you
Until I hear the husband's perspective, I won't judge you guys.
ReplyDeleteJust remain focused on Jesus and your kids.. Its well with you ma..
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is that these men who know they will bring pain into a woman's life still bring it instead of leaving that woman to find a man who will cherish and adore her. I don't care who wants to be promiscuous because we can't ever all be the same way in life, but if you know monogamy is not your thing then leave married life out of your plans. Or at least address it during the dating period that you will never be a monogamous person and then give that person the choice to choose if they want to pursue marriage with you.
ReplyDeleteI am sick of seeing this thing where a man will fck down the whole world and only when he is old and ugly and cannot find another soul to be interested in him then he decides to focus on the wife, when he is sucked dry and have nothing but health problems and bad breath to bring her way. Poster, you still have youth on your side, you can start your life all over again without missing a beat. Don't give up on yourself and think this is your destiny. I understand we all have to be at a place mentally and emotionally before we can get there physically. Don't give up on yourself and settle for any shit from anyone. You owe it to yourself and to your children to have the best life possible!!!