Hmmm....
NARRATIVE ONE
CONFUSED
My husband wants me to learn a skill, but l don't have passion for it, l want to do business but he said he doesn't have money to setup a business for me...
We are having serious quarrels all the time because of this. And l have looked for job several places yet no job. What should l do now.
Do you want him to go and steal? He has told you that he doesnt have money to set you up...These days it is not about what you have a passion for, it is what can bring food to the Table.... Go with your hubby and start saving as soon as you can to do business....
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NARRATIVE TWO
ADVICE NEEDED
I'm 30 plus, although l still live with my parents. I'm not married, but my family are always forcing their decisions on me, even when l have good reasons for taking a decision on my own...they will always bad mouth me that l am too stubborn.
I am just tired about this issues. Pls BVs advice me.
If you work, please try to save money and get a place of your own.... It is only in Nigeria that you see someone as old as you are still living at home with parents...... Please save up and move out.
As for your family always trying to put you down, it is normal, dont take it to heart!!
Narrative 2
ReplyDeleteJust like Stella said, if u can move out of the house, pls do. If it was a healthy environment for u, I wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with u living with them but the fact that they constantly put u down is a no no. Your mental health is important.
And there’s absolutely nothing normal about your family constantly putting you down. It’s sick. Your family should be the one to encourage you and not tear you down.
Thank you o Eka. Nothing normal at all. Me I moved out. Where I stayed was similar to staying under the bridge but I had peace. Gosh! I've still not recovered from the trauma my family put me through. They're trying all their best now to atone but it's hard for me mehn. I went through hell. Abeg some families no be am.
DeleteMy advice to you both is to look for a job even if is 10k. my first job was marketing I earned 10k I paid my tithe from that money. Three weeks later I got a call from someone to come collect appointment letter and I started a new job with a federal work. Tell your problem that you have a big God.
ReplyDeleteOne:
ReplyDeleteYou did not even bother to tell us the passion you have so that one could have know which
skill to advice you to acquire.
Yes, you are stubborn and stressing your husband for nothing. You should have quickly jumped to add
fashion skills to your "resume" and I mean very good fashion especially that for women's clothing and
wedding gowns. Then save to begin such business.
Two
Well, know that in Nigeria, a single lady moving out to live on her own has tome stigma attached.
And since you are unemployed, the resources to live on your own isn't there and that adds to the pressure.
Why not obey your parents while looking up to your heavenly father for a way out?
Your number two point is outdated or possibly upheld by those that have never found themselves in that situation. So if you are based in Lagos and your younger sister after graduation gets a job in NNPC Warri, you will tell her not to go because of stigma of single lady living alone?
DeleteI lived in 4 different houses in 3 states as a single lady banker and I am as decent as they come, even if I say so myself. The problem is that she is unemployed and her parents are not understanding, she needs to try hard to find another place to reside.
@19:39
DeleteI did not say that that is my view. Myself too have lived alone for one year during my internship.
But to deny that there is no stigma to it in Nigeria is saying that the sun shines by 12 midnight.
Do not be myopic. Anyone doing that should brace up to own up and don't feel offended at people's views.
You are quarreling with him? He has told u he doesn't have. You serf try raise some funds now. Don't u have people. Did they throw you away as u married? Try on ur part to raise something. It might help him see your determination and support your efforts.
ReplyDeleteDear poster One
ReplyDeleteLook inside you,search,think deeply. Am sure there is something that you are passionate about, something you love
So many skills to choose from that is profitable. You cannot stay waiting for a job that is not here. Money needs to be made.
Posters don't give up, keep working and keep trusting God.
ReplyDeleteThe thing be say this life get as be e,but never loose hope.
If you think say you get problem you never hear another person own.
Anon 15:23 you go dey thank God o, cos your own come easy.
I don run go another state dey manage any private job wey I see, do my side hustle,currently I dey visit some people make dem help me get government job, pay tithe pay sacrifice still dey expect my situation go change,as something happen i go my state. I dey plan my next move now, make I go my sister house again for Abj, this time I dey hope say make better job come.
There are 40+ men and women who live with their parents abroad. Stop the cheap lies please
ReplyDeleteYou so right.cheap lies everywhere,African parents dishing mental and emotional abuse all in the name of .I told God when I am ready to have a family that for every of my kids,I will plan for them and makes sure from birth till they are okay enough to stand up on their own I will take good care of them till I am sure they can take good care of themselves and stand on their feet.
DeleteWonder why our society is like this,family family basic unit of thr society is devoid of love!cresting hardened monsters everywhere.we just love to be wicked!
Do you want to be like those 40+ men and women who are living with their parents?
DeletePoster 1, its better you go for what you're passionate about, sit him down and let him see reason with you. There's this girl in our shop, infact she started learning almost thesame time with us, up till not she can't sew well,she gas elapse her training months,yet nothing,she said her sister forced her into tailoring,that her passion is make up and cream mixing,so you see
ReplyDeleteSo her husband should go and steal to satisfy her passion of doing business? Or you didn't see where she said business is her passion? Shey you can sit your own husband down and make him to buy a sewing machine for you as he doesn't have money to buy it now?
DeleteSebi Una Dey see some women?u no get work,ur husband no get money for business and u no wan learn work.I still regret not learning any handwork before I travelled abroad.The day my barber told me he makes as much as $800 everyday and even more sometimes with tips,I opened my mouth.Tailors plumbers and mechanics,those ones are the oga.You can buy spare parts for $20 and fix it with $200.pls learn handwork o,if it’s not useful in naija(which is even unlikely)it will be useful if you have the opportunity to travel abroad.
ReplyDeleteThank you o. My aunt in UK sends money and buys materials in Nigeria and her tailor makes it here and sends to her. She said the cost of sewing our native in UK is very high and that our tailors over there charge as much as equivalent of 100k to make a simple dress.
DeleteYou people should just stop pushing your narratives to others.you really don't know what these people go through.if it is easy trust me all of them would want the best.sometimes I feel as humans we should understand.
ReplyDeleteYes poster one got no job doesn't mean the husband shouldn't understand her jharee..and doesn't mean thr husband should force her opinion on her thr babe clearly don't want that.
Poster staying with parents,I wonder why most parents are like this,this country ain't easy and if it was I am sure the poster would have found a place,what is it with Nigerians? Everyone just lashing out to even those they are suppose to protect and love.
Poster just hold on and if you have money,move out,tomorrow they wouldn't know why you acting that way towards your parents and please stella disrespect and mal treatment from parents to kids ain't normal abeg that's emotional abuse.
But why are women like this? You even have husband that suggested learning a skill to you. Let me tell you a story from experience. I have never ever imagined that i will learn a skill not until i went to visit my friend who was a tailor in her hostel when i was in my final year and i saw how she made almost 5k in one sitting just to make a simple top. I made a vow to aquire a skill that very day. I went for service the following year in and a very far away state and learnt a skill like i proposed. I got a contract this year,it isn't that much but i know God is on the throne and my brand is becoming known little by little. Although i have a side job but my business is paying off big time. My salary was delayed for almost a week this month but my business has kept me going. You don't know if your husband has plans to rent a shop for you and get equipments for you too. Kindly sit down,think of any skill you love then pray about it. You can then tell your hubby about it. E hugs
ReplyDeletePoster 2 just leave everything to God.. hoping one day it will get better.. look for something doing to keep you busy
ReplyDeletePoster one. speak with your husband about learning the business you want to establish instead of learning a skill. I an advocate of learning whatever trade you wish to start from those already in the business. While learning help might come. As your hubby complained about money, please do not borrow to start a business in this present day Nigeria.
ReplyDeletePoster two. Do you contribute financially and domestically to the family?.
Poster 1, the entitlement for some of you makes me wonder. You want to go into business but you expect someone else to give you the money for that business. How about you learn that skill your husband will willing to pay for, then use that skill to get the money you need for business?
ReplyDeletePeople who say "I don't want to work for anybody" yet expect someone who worked for somebody to give you the money to establish your business, I don't take them seriously.
Poster 2, as long as you are under your parents' roof, you must do as they say o. How can you be under my roof and want to do things your own way? I advise you save and move out of the house. Best decision I made. Now my parents respect me even more and treat me like a honoured guest when I come to spend a weekend with them (although they never treated me badly before I moved out). Let's say the truth, at 30 an adult ought to be living in their own place.
Narrative 2 , please save up and move out from the family house. On another ankle, do you have a good source of income? I believe they are controlling you because you have no good source of income; maybe you still depend on them financially.
ReplyDeleteMy advice for you is that you should try your best to persuade your family to help register you in a place where you will learn good skill. Highest 2years you will become a master of your own. It's not too late to learn any skill . Don't mind if the person you are going to learn from is younger than you. Swallow pride, remove every trace of ego and learn. Definately the people you will learn from will disrespect you but don't let it get to you. It's just a 2year thing and all the shame will be over.
Narrative 1, you should learn a skill as your hubby sudjests
Poster1 if you don't feel like learning a skill it okay by you, starting business is not by millions of naira but you start with something small with your passion for the business you see it grow just like me I started with 3000naira and now I can boost of my business now cause I use to take care of myself my home footing some bills,you can talk to your husband to see reasons with you that business is your passion.
ReplyDelete