Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIFFICULT MOTHER IN LAW
Please I have a question.....
If your MIL doesn't call you, only calls her son, doesn't pick your calls either or reply messages except you speak with her when she calls him and she sounds very friendly when you do speak. What does it mean?
P.s Hubby doesn't yet know what's going on and I don't want to tell him yet as he is very fond of her. At the moment, he thinks we are very chummy. We just got married.
WOW, it looks like she is not in support of his marrying you oh...You need to be really careful cos its either you can break her relationship with her son or she can break your marriage with her son.... Tell her son what is going on at your own risk...
WOW, it looks like she is not in support of his marrying you oh...You need to be really careful cos its either you can break her relationship with her son or she can break your marriage with her son.... Tell her son what is going on at your own risk...
Maybe you should try to visit her to have a heart to heart talk and apologise for whatever it is she may be holding against you.
Try and if she does not change, then continue playing the game with her by acting all nice when her son is around....
She simply never liked the idea that you married her son and stay woke..
ReplyDeleteEvery mother will by default have this jealousy for the woman that married her most favorite son especially in the early stages of the marriage.
DeleteSo dear poster make understand her son is safe with you.
And also have it in mind that this is every woman’s karma
Maybe she is just minding her business, staying on her lane, to avoid see finish or whatever it is.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteFollow her pattern and rest
Simple
Just keep looking for trouble where there is none poster and Internet advisers will help you break your home
DeleteThat’s it. She’s just minding her lane. If she didn’t like u she won’t be friendly when she speaks to u. People enh it’s not automatically that u like ur mother or daughter in law I be
DeleteExactly! There are soooo many MIL like that....and you should be grateful dear poster. Dont fucking listen to Stella's advise...she's sooo ol school! If your MIL is like that, respect it and mind your business...face your own family not your husband and his mom's relationship (which is waaaaaaay linger than your btw). Naija people dabi find trouble i swear....poster, im sorry to say this, but you're jobless
DeleteYou just got married for God's sale. Must she call you all the time? Stop looking for trouble when there is none.
ReplyDeleteYou people are funny sha.
Very funny
DeletePlease there is nothing to it.
DeleteDon't look for something when there is nothing
My father in law does not call me. He does not pick my calls either. The only time he picked and discovered it was me, he gave the phone to one of his sons to speak with me. The son was like "this is baba's number oh!" I told him I was aware and I just called to greet him. Since then, I got the message. I told my husband, he did not say anything. The funny thing is, any time I visit the family house, he talks nicely to me so I guess he just did not want to be too chummy with his daughter in law. My mother in law is totally different, in fact eh, na she the call me pass. I always feel guilty when she calls because I hardly to call her.
DeleteWhat I'm trying to say is, maybe your mother in law is like my father in law. Her not taking your calls might not be because she hates you. Keep being friendly with her and greet her whenever she speaks with her son on phone. Try and follow her at her own space.
What is her son telling her about you.
ReplyDeleteJust shut up and play the game with her. If you talk you’re damned if you don’t you’re still damned . Some mothers are not happy their son married anyone it’s got nothing to do with you. I don’t know how I’ll feel when my son gets married 😭 it’s hurting me to think about it.God help me accept it as part of life 🙏😘
ReplyDeleteI have a son too and I cannot wait for him to get married so I can see his children. My husband is mine but my son must also marry and have his own children
DeleteIt's hurting you to think that your son will get married and yet you married the son of another mother? You are a wicked mother-in-law to be.
Delete😅😅😅😅😅😅 Aswear. Why would you harbor such thoughts. Please it’s very unhealthy. Start working on it now.
DeleteHian! How can the thought your son getting married be hurting to you? Something that is not parents' dream...
DeleteAbeg o, I can't wait to see my kids all grown, successful and happily married. Amen
My darling please mind your business too is it by force she picks your call? Or speak with you? Don’t you have your own mother
DeleteYes, you need to visit her and talk.
ReplyDeleteMy concern here is why don't we hear about FIL and scattering of marriages,
why always women?
Are the ladies here going to turn out as "scattering MILs?"
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Tell your husband but ask him to observe without speaking with his mum before she gaslights you
ReplyDeleteApologize for what? Nigerians you guys Dey tire me. Continue with how you guys relate now. Why do you need more of that?
ReplyDeleteApologising will backfire
DeleteAunty mind your business
Follow her pattern
Rest
You need to be careful,she might not be in support of your marriage.
ReplyDeleteReach out to her on specific occasions only, like her birthday, anniversary, religious holidays. Maybe she can feel your desperation in wanting her approval and overly friendliness and she is avoiding it, some ppl get overwhelmed by this. So give her some space to speak with her son in peace and be a good wife to him. Focus on your own mother who gave birth to you.
ReplyDeleteStop calling, or sending messages. When she calls her son and wants to speak to you, then fine.Don't tell your husband too.
ReplyDeleteI support this.
DeleteShe only talks to you in the presence of a third party, because she wants a witness, in case you ever attempt to accuse her of wickedness.
ReplyDeleteIf she texts back and uses an exclamation mark, instead of full stop, you might interpret it as something mean. If she mistakenly leaves the caps on, and sends the message, you will say she is shouting at you. If she doesn't answer the phone until after the 7th ring, so you might say it's because she doesn't approve of you etc.
Personally, I think she is saving herself from DIL "wahala". With the way some of you pray for you MILs to die, or to never visit their own kids...I cannot say I blame her.
Madam play the game know this and know peace in your life
ReplyDeleteLet’s all be acting friendly na😂😂. It’s even good like that before see finish go enter
ReplyDeleteShe no support your marriage to her son Aka she no like you.
ReplyDeleteFollow Stella's advice and puy her in prayer.
Most of y'all are so annoying. You know she doesn't like her because?? Mtchewwww. Always having negative thoughts thereby causing unnecessary problems
DeleteHold on to the most important - she talks with you when she calls her son and she sounds friendly.
ReplyDeleteMake excuses for the rest and go with the flow. Examples of excuses - She wants to keep to her lane so you will not turn around and tag her as monitoring. She is not good at texting. Your calls may have fallen on the odd moments for her. Some people, even the younger, are not good at calling back. Etc.
Please do not go visit her to discuss your unanswered or missed calls, especially if you are an African. That move is seen as disrespectful in most African (Nigerian) culture. Please do not discuss the matter with your husband also. Leave well alone.
With time, waters will find their levels between you both. Just be good behaved as you have done so far. Continue to call and text your greetings. As has been adviced by etiquette coaches do not make more than 2 unanswered calls any time you call. Do not swamp her with texts. One periodically is enough. She appreciates all your efforts as shown by her friendliness. That is all that matters.
Your MIL do not appear difficult to me as in the Chronicle heading.
May Jehovah bless your marriage.
Mr. Mann
Follow this👍👍👍
DeletePoster if you get Brain follow this advice. Don't tell ur husband anything and Don't discuss anything with her. Dey ur dey and just be cool with her.
DeletePoster you better read this 👆 and get rid of negative thoughts
DeleteStart praying for her, yourself and your husband.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother calling her but send her text messages occasionally, even if she doesn't respond you will have evidence to show incase something comes up in the future.
Continue gisting through Ur husband's phone as usual.
It will end well.
Why would she call you, what are you celebrating? Some of you are always looking for excuses to label your in laws negatively. She is maintaining her lane to ensure you don't have reasons to belittle her. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you or she is not happy her son married you. If she starts calling you today, by tomorrow you will start complaining that she doesn't allow your phone to rest. Don't create problems where there are no problems. If and when you want to hear from her you could call her from time to time, overtime she would become free with you and make efforts to call you
ReplyDeleteHow will I react if I am in ur shoes? I wont tell my husband and I.wont call her again, if she calls when talking with her son and wants to talk with me, I will be all nice just like her. I will have it at the back of.my.mo d that this woman.doesnt like me but I will not tell the son.
ReplyDeleteMilo and DIL relationship is another level of politics that needs to be navigated with every care unless if you're fortunate to have an open MIL.
Just keep your findings yourself, she doesnt really like you
She does not need to call if it isnt neccessary, she is staying on her lane minding her business, do same too. This is so me...no ill feelings...every one steady their lane.
ReplyDeleteMy story,even she will never ask of her grand kids,just her son and cut,I tried everything for us to flow,visited,sendlt her stuffs,called,i will be the one to call to ask if she got them and the response was a cold, yes.
ReplyDeleteMy co-wife shared same story,2018 I almost died birthing but she never came but went to give a testimony on my behalf.
That year was a year to think deep and through and I let her go and kept a distance,for the first time in 9 years,my phone rang, this year,she called but because hubby told her I sent her money he sent ,but the damage has been done.
Let her be,my sister.
Follow her pattern and to talk to her as often as possible whenever your husband calls her... Don't stop calling her though, even if she doesn't answer,keep calling and sending her messages from time to time. Hopefully, she'll change
ReplyDeleteJust married?mama is just trying to check you out after wedding,your attitude or mama doesn't support you marrying her son.
ReplyDeleteYou guys need to see and talk ooo to avoid stories
ReplyDeleteMay she live long,mama just dey stay on her lane, babanla lane minder, poster hold not grudge against her, since she always sound nice whenever she speaks with you, just go with the flow
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteI will advise you don’t tell your hubby anything ooo before he would say you don’t like his mom. From my experience, please mind your business and play along. When she is ready to talk to you, she will come along. Just give her time but for now pls face your front and enjoy your newly beautiful marriage.
Your MIL is a peace loving woman who doesn't want her DIL to label her as a bad MIL, therefore staying on her lane yet you don write chronicles for her head. If she was calling you, you will still find fault in her mode of talking to you; too nosy, uncaring e.t.c. Abeg let her be! Son inlaws rarely complain, always DIL. Why didn't you ask your mum or aunts for advice than bringing it online where you know most people will tag her as bad without knowing her?
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, the drama you are looking for, if it starts you will run. There is no problem here. Mama may have her own but ignore short comings. You may want to stop calling or texting her for some time. She will miss seeing your calls and text. Trust me, she will call you to ask about you. Enjoy your marriage.....Do not go about discussing this issue with her son or her.
ReplyDeleteMy dear let sleeping dogs lie ooh. Dey ur Lane.
ReplyDeletePray she doesn't come and stay in your house out of the blues.
ReplyDeleteStop calling her and be VERY prayerful. Commit your marriage for protection into the hands of Jehovah who sees all hidden hearts. Continue to be nice to her via her son's phone and be very watchful. Nay God be with you.
ReplyDeleteThere is no need to visit and ask her anything, just follow the flow.
ReplyDeleteDon't let people deceive you she is OK with you. Some persons don't pretend their calls. If she speaks to you through her son you should be fine.
ReplyDeleteThe woman you narrated is purely minding her biz. Stop putting nonsense in your head. You want to start gossiping and talk about irrelevant things.
ReplyDelete