Hmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COUPLE IN A FIX
Good day everyone
I'm in a fix and I need advise please.
My husband got a job with the help of a friend of his and the job requires he goes on Monday and comes back home on Saturday because of distance and transport fare. This has being on for three months now. So, I stay all alone through the week when he is gone.
On my own part, I just got a job too to resume on the 20th of September close to home.
My dilemma is that, hubby's friend who helped with his job called to say he would love to stay with us that the accommodation rent his company provided for them has expired and his boss is not willing to retain the place for them. His office is a bit (an hour journey) close to the our house and the one he is staying.
Husbandman and I are so confused on what decision to take.
The said man has attitude (talks too much, complains, demanding)
Leaving the house (one bedroom flat) for him and stay at a friend's place will make me lose my new job.
Staying with him through the week will make me feel very uncomfortable and people will definitely talk in the neighborhood since hubby comes back by weekend.
The man may feel bad and start talking
Please what should we do?
I'm in a fix and I need advise please.
My husband got a job with the help of a friend of his and the job requires he goes on Monday and comes back home on Saturday because of distance and transport fare. This has being on for three months now. So, I stay all alone through the week when he is gone.
On my own part, I just got a job too to resume on the 20th of September close to home.
My dilemma is that, hubby's friend who helped with his job called to say he would love to stay with us that the accommodation rent his company provided for them has expired and his boss is not willing to retain the place for them. His office is a bit (an hour journey) close to the our house and the one he is staying.
Husbandman and I are so confused on what decision to take.
The said man has attitude (talks too much, complains, demanding)
Leaving the house (one bedroom flat) for him and stay at a friend's place will make me lose my new job.
Staying with him through the week will make me feel very uncomfortable and people will definitely talk in the neighborhood since hubby comes back by weekend.
The man may feel bad and start talking
Please what should we do?
*SAY NO!!!
Let him feel if he wants to as long as you do what is right...
Why will a normal thinking human being want to go and stay alone in a house with his friends wife all the name of work? let him look for somewhere else.
You guys should tell him its a full house already and that there is no space for another person...
Does he have the power to make your hubby lose the Job he helped him get? I dont think so....
It’s not proper that he stays with you since your hubby isn’t around.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you need to explain that to him.
It’s even a one bedroom house, where will he sleep? What bathroom will he use?
Na wa.
Do what you feel is right for you and yours
DeletePoster no this and know peace, you should put yourself first and never let anyone inconvenience you. You stay in a one room apartment and the inconsiderate bastard wants to come and stay there as what na. Tell him outrightly you will not be comfortable having a man stay in your house when your hubby is not there. No need to cut corners to say it.
DeleteBelieve it or not he has his eyes on you …. This has always been in his plan from the beginning to sleep with you. Just know that ur husbands job is at stake if u guys refuse.
Deleteno sane human being would ever put any married couple in this situation , worst still knowing that it’s a one bedroom apartment. So what happens when ur husband comes weekends.
See u better tell ur husband to start looking for job elsewhere or be prepared to loose ur marriage if this man stays with you guys cos so many tales will be fabricated against u and ur husband in a bid to get in between ur legs.
I understand the situation of the country but this isn’t something u guys are even suppose to give a thought
But the man is not considerate sef, how does he want you to cope.
DeleteWhy are people like this?why would an adult want to stay with a married couple in a one bedroom apartment?
DeleteHmmmmmm!!
DeleteLooks like the guy Man get plan for you o.
You better shine your eyes.🙄😎
Hmmmmmm!!
DeleteLooks like the guy Man get plan for you o.
You better shine your eyes.🙄😎
17:20 the man has no common sense. As in none.
DeleteSpeak up bodly. It’s small and not comfortable. Besides, you and your husband agreed before marriage that no one will come and live with you. You have rejected close family members for this reason and it even cause family issues.
DeleteIt sounds like you live in the abroad where things are not that straight forward for immigrants..
Deletetough one here o
That man has an agenda
DeleteHow convenient for him that his accommodation got canceled
What mouth did you hubby even use to repeat such words to you.
What kind of man thinks it's even okay to stay with a woman in one room? Even if he was your brother in-law.
Like what kind of rubbish is this ?
Tell him no
That it's not allowed
He can have his job back
A man living with u alone while your husband is away for a whole week, NOOOOOOOO... even your husband wont be able to sleep well at his base😁 knowing his buddy is all alone with his wife at home. No abeg.
ReplyDeleteExcept you get extra eye to live with you in dat house, but damn, this is not fair though.
Hi
DeleteTell him that you are not comfortable with that, no matter what ...NO is a good answer. Connect him with some agents around.
DeleteWhat will make a full grown man think of something like that sef? Na wa for some people o.
Capital NO
DeleteDon't even change your mind or you and hubby starts regretting it.
Let your no be in CAPITAL NO
Just talk to him nd make him understand that you cant allow him stay with you alone during the week, make him see reasons
ReplyDeleteThat guy has another plan. His intentions are laced with selfish reasons and it will definitely bring you wahala..
Delete1 bedroom self contain apartment isn't big enough for additional stranger..
This is what happens when you see a human being as "god" and can't talk to him.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you afraid of a human that has breadth in his nostrils?
Now I understand why Abram said he will not receive even a thread from
those kings; Gen. 14, so that no one will say he made Abram rich.
It is more blessed to give than to receive.
What Stella said is true; let your husband politely tell him that it is not possible.
If you submit to this man this way, you will not be able to resist him when he demands sex; adultery. 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
Anon 15:10 try to dey dilute ur comment small small inugo, the situation is complicated. U think is easy to say no. The man did them a favour, they should not say no bluntly, but stylishly incase of tommorrow.
DeletePoster don't say no outrightly,let ur husband use style and knock him off.
Don't accept such it will backfire
@Paprika
DeleteWhat you did not define is this word "stylishly." Bring practical solutions.
Hope you saw the word "politely" in my comment?
Even if he will lose the job so be it. The man is not normal, how will he want to stay with his friend's wife alone in a one bedroom house. For even asking, i will break the friendship.
ReplyDeleteNo mind am, ashawo kobobo man, very shameless.
DeletePoster it's a capital NO period!!!
Say no. SIMPLE. Avoid had I known talks.
ReplyDeleteThat man get plan. If you don't give him willingly, he may rape you.
ReplyDeleteA reasonable person without a hidden agenda will not voice that nonsense out.
Poster, you and your husband should tell him no. If he wan vex make he vex.
Unless you and your husband are tired of the marriage and want to divorce, then you can say yes.
Even if you are living together with your husband, he is not suppose to join you guys in a room and parlor flat, not to talk of now you are living alone.
Are you sure he did not purposely get that work for your husband, so he can send him far and have chance enter you?
Exactly.
DeleteThanks Chike for helping me type.
DeleteI'm telling you @ your last paragraph...what nonsense is that!
DeleteMy thought,some men are useless, this man has it all planned, cry to God to intervene on your behalf, why will a reasonable man asked for such favour if he doesn't have an evils plans?a room and parlour?chai! This man is senseless I swear.
DeleteThe man is truly unreasonable!
DeleteTueh!!
Thank you Chike.. The man definitely has a plan
DeleteChike oooo you see that last paragraph ehnnnnn.............. e choke!!!!
DeleteI agree ooo. That man is going to rape you if you dont shag him!. Ill bet he feels entitled to you because he helped hubby get a job.
DeleteYou last paragraph summarise everything..
DeleteOn point
Are you sure your husband did not use you as pawn to strike a deal with him? Cause I do not understand how and why your husband will even accept this talk less of opening his mouth to tall you this
DeleteIt's not advisable for him to stay with you while your hubby is not there. Just be diplomatic about it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a no no please.. nothing more to tell u
ReplyDeleteBad idea, ma. Very bad idea. Is he feeling entitled or what? And unless he has a hidden agenda, this shouldn't even sound right to him when he knows it'll just be the two of you alone.
ReplyDeletePlease you guys should politely let him know it won't be possible.
Pls poster don't start what you can't finish, that man will come and stay and will feel too comfortable to leave your house.
ReplyDeleteHow can any sane man even suggest living with a couple in a one bedroom apartment, let him think anything. Let your husband handle his friend.
I tire ooh
DeleteAs in eh! The man is insane.
DeleteHell NO
ReplyDeleteNO. HELL 2 D FUCK NO.
ReplyDeleteHaba, make Una no go use Una hand welcome trouble into your home. What kind of silly man is that? I can't even visit my married friends if they're not around on the hour talkless of staying.. Hell, even friends girlfriends.. I don't even have their phone numbers not to even talk of us being cordial..
That man is no good abeg.. because him help him friend get job, him price na him friend wifey.. abeg don't even tell me that might not be his intentions cos anyhow it go, so long as he's allowed into that house, that marriage might not be the same again.. Husband mind no go rest say man dey house with him wifey for night.. he go come dey over calculate and observe.. next thing na cheating allegation..
Next base jare..
Very true. If he's a responsible man, this shouldn't sound right to him at all at all.
DeleteIt's too risky to take such a risk . He's a man let him fend himself or find someone who's a bachelor n squat with for the meantime while he sorts himself
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of stupid demand from a married woman is that??!! Tell him a big NO. Nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know why you would even be worried about this ... learn not to displease yourself to please others... he’s an adult and he should look else where
ReplyDeleteYou will know the kind of friendship or joke we have once shared for you to even consider asking me this even if na you give me the air wey I dey breathe..
ReplyDeleteAbeg I appreciate the Job but if na wetin go breed this kind of proximity or disrespect;abeg hold your Job let me go and hustle at Alaba international..
Maybe it's just me but anyways;I be old skool😉
How can a man consider this option not to talk of speaking it out?
Una dey try sha if this is the kind of friends you keep..
Dont play with me this way please;the friendship go end that VERY day even as I play reach..
@MARTINS
That is a very senseless thing to do...haba
DeleteHmmm my dear , this is a no no.... don't give room for temptation
ReplyDeleteNa wa o so if you weren’t living there nkorr?smh
ReplyDeletePoster remove your husband from this and handle it alone. Tell him your hubby’s benefactor NO, let your husband make it look as if it’s all your decision.
ReplyDeleteCall him and let him know that for the sake of decency you can not live in with another man when your husband is not around. Tell him that your no is causing problem between you and your husband that he should help you to explain to your husband that it’s not right and you guys won’t give room for people’s gossip. Stand on your fit and take the blames alone so he won’t think of witch hunting your hubby.
Please poster take this advice
DeleteGood point 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteWise words!!!
DeleteYou said exactly what I was going to say. Let it look as if it is your decision. Let him know that you are uncomfortable with it for decency sake
DeleteYes take the advice , calll him yourself and say u can’t live with another man as a married woman and it’s not right, God punish that useless dog of a man to even think of wanting to live with u cos of job, he is not your God! , instead of your husband been d one to talk , u talk to him , cos if he lives with u, I tell u, ur marriage will have iasues , pls send us the outcome of this matter
DeleteFan, you are indeed a wise woman.
DeletePoster, the bible says wisdom is profitable to direct. This advice is pure wisdom. Pls try this.
If you choose to go with this advice, make sure it is a telephone call and on speaker in your husbands presence. Do not, I repeat DO NOT honour any invitation to discuss it in person/your husband's absence.
DeleteEvil actions begin innocently...
The man is obviously not a good person or he wouldve looked elsewhere for help and not put you and your husband in that kinda bad spot.Secondly it’s even wrong for your husband to leave him with you for 6 days every week.This is just entitlement and it’s bad.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is crazy for even being confused. He should have said NO immediately. He should have asked him whether he expects to stay with his wife knowing fully well that he's not around. What rubbish!
ReplyDeletePoster don't you have sibling or friends?, there is nothing to worry here, call your sibling and friends, tell them your delima, let them move inn temporarily with you, plan with them to invade the man's privacy VERY WELL when he moves inn, it's not someone that will tell him to run.
ReplyDeleteI don't support this entirely but this is what I think she can do (from this your opinion).
DeleteCall a friend or sibling to come live with you temporarily, then you guys can tell the man that you have a full house already and it won't be convenient for all of you plus your hubby that will be back on weekends. It will be a full house of 4 adults in that small space.
This is if you can't be bold enough to tell him outrightly that his silly idea won't fly.
He shouldn't even move in at all.
DeleteEven if I'm living in a 3bedroom flat, so long as my hubby is not around, you can't stay o, talkmore of 1bedroom.. Who does that na?
Please I beg you in the name of Almighty Jehovah. DON'T TRY THIS IDEA. The man's request is from the pit of hell. What does the Bible says to do? Flee from all that appears to be evil.
DeleteEven if the man holy pass Prophets Elijah and Elisha joined together the neighbours' talk will ruin your marriage. Even your friend or sibling will doubt you when the kasala burst. Or will they stay 24/7 with you and the man?
In those days before GSM and bank transfers two of my tribesmen went to offshore work. When A was returning, B will give him money to give to B's wife. Long story short, A started sleeping overnight before going to his more interior town. And in the end, pants shifted. A confessed on his own. Mrs. B could not deny. Marriage ended.
Na "Uriah job" dat friend find for your husband. Whether or not anything happens between the marriage you both, your marriage will not be the same. It most likely will be plagued by suspicion and silent accusations.
say no...there isn't space in that house for him..
ReplyDeleteTell him NO, ihe na eme, ya me ee, what sort of rubbish is that, because he got a job for your hubby? . This is what you call the devil's gift!
ReplyDeleteIs the guy okay and why should your husband be confused. Please your answer should be NO. Don't even discuss the issue again.
ReplyDeleteLovelace
Tell him no even if your husbands hand is tied,yours isn't, come out plain and tell him no, but your husband sef no try,he is not supposed to even consider this arrangements at all,except they're both playing game with you
ReplyDeletePossible a test to see who you are in the absence of your husband.
DeleteEven God knows i can not have a friend like this dude. Guy! For even thinking to come up with that fucked up idea, i don block you asap! Well, my friends no go even reason that kind thing. Poster, the whole idea is a no no. Tell your hubby sternly. Its not possible.
ReplyDelete👌
DeleteLoooks like i mistakenly commented with my google account jeez, stella pls delete it. Its ifeoma
ReplyDeleteHello namesake!
DeleteThis man want to gbensh you in return for the favour he did your husband. Had it been it's a two bedroom flat en suite why not? But a one bedroom flat, no. How would you be going to the bathroom without him in the parlor? Am saying this cos I live in a one bedroom flat. Please at no and distance yourselves from him.
ReplyDeleteEven if its 5 bed rooms, its a no. What rubbish!!! As long as her husband isn't in the house say NO. I am angry that you are asking this stupid question. This is common sense. Best advice is from Fan. Deal with it yourself and tell him NO, let him know its your call. And if he is the devil, he should take his job. What in the world is this %&^*!&?
DeleteEven if it's a castle, as long as her hubby is not going to be around, its a big No-No.
DeleteSo all the years he has been working and his employer has been responsible for his accommodation, he didn't save for raining days like this so that when his employer doesn't come through for him or is he having an ulterior motives hence the reason he got your hubby the job in a far away place?
ReplyDeletePoster, please you and your husband should not allowed him to come live with you people to avoid story that touches - I no want hear the weather was too cold and while we were watching BBN one thing led to another and we ended up eating each other. Whether he has the power to make your hubby lose his job or not please don't allow him. He should use his saving and rent even if is a single room!
No,do not all allow him to stay with you..Do not forget over familiarity breeds contempt.Please you and your hubby should add money for him to look for a place even if it takes you guys to pay half of the rent..So you gat your respect intact.Who knows he might even decline..You guys won’t be fault then.Pray before you suggest the option.God bless you.
ReplyDeleteLet him go rent a house. Your husband can help out with some money for his first rent
ReplyDeleteThat man has alterior motive,why didn't he make plans to get his own place? Was he thinking the company will provide accommodation for him forever?
ReplyDeleteDo not accommodate him,if your hubby can't say no you should say no and stand your grounds
Serious motive o.
DeleteWhy doesn't he look for a collegue to squat with?
It's the audacity for me 🙄
Kindly but firmly say No
ReplyDeleteThis is simple. Poster listen. You and your husband should agree that your mum or wife's mum is around on visit and it won't be possible to accommodate him. If possible help him find a bachelor's that he can scout with. Simple. DO NOT! I REPEAT DO NOT! Allow him stay with you oooooo.
ReplyDeleteOnly a very suspicious Man, will want to move with in his friend's wife,in the name of I don't have another accommodation.
ReplyDeleteIt is not even up for debate ,or you guys getting confused. It is a fat No.
And he didn't get your husband a job, he was only an instrument God used to bless your husband .
You owe him nothing but thank you.
Useless man everywhere, Amu gbawakwa ya there.
ReplyDeleteNot everywhere please. But in this case.
DeleteI'm just imagining how my husband will take this joke of a request. Fire go burn everywhere o. How can that shameless man make such a silly request. I hope he didn't take your husband's balls with him because he gave your husband a job o? Otherwise I don't know why your husband is confused instead of sparking like a naked wire🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteLol.
DeletePoster please I beg you in the name of God, if you let that man into your home while your husband is away, you might lose your home. Cos your husband won't even believe that something has not happened, no matter how much he trust you. That man is so stupid for even requesting that haba. Does he want you to lose your job? I'm so angry
ReplyDeleteI was in a fix just last weekend. I needed a place to stay for just one night because I was visiting another city. I have a really good friend in that city, but I was in a dilemma on whether or not I should call him. He is a newly married man and his wife stays in another state, he and I have history together. It didn't seem right for me as a single woman to spend the night at his home, when his wife was away. I thought of calling his wife to seek her permission, but even that didn't feel right (she is not my friend, and I have always felt she has had questions about the extent of my friendship with her husband, before they got married).
ReplyDeleteI make no claims to being a good person, but I like to think of myself as reasonable and reasonably decent and that was why I didn't bother asking my friend or his wife to accommodate me even if it was for just one night. No decent person should put you and your husband in that situation, knowing your husband is always away.
Let your husband talk to him as a man and let him know that it is not convenient and ideal to have him in the house this period ThaT you are alone.
Also, accommodating This guy will ruin your friendship, not accommodating him may just put a little strain on the friendship, which may be fixed sometime in the future. You already have a problem with his attitude, your dissatisfaction with his attitude will only get worse when you both start 'COHABITATING ALONE'. Also face the fact that SEX MAY happen, the devil works in annoying ways. Two grown individuals of opposite sex, staying ALONE TOGETHER?
This guy is not even giving you guys a timeframe within which he will like to be accommodated - 1 week, one month, 6 months?
Your husband should tell him the house is small, and that both of you would not feel comfortable with a person of the opposite sex in the house, while hubby is away.
I'm glad you did the right thing by not giving in to that temptation for whatever reason, because it's very likely something would have happened. Always best to flee a temptation/ every appearance of evil.
DeleteThis is why I focus more on my female friends right now cos friendship with guy end whenever they get engaged or married. There are just some things they can't help you with. And you need to give them space.
DeleteNa wa o. Which kind of yeye request is the supposed friend asking. Let your husband tell him your house is full at the moment. Infact your hubby should tell him straight that he cannot live in the same house with you because its not logically and biblically right. Na wa for some mmn sha.
ReplyDeleteThe devil is a liar
ReplyDeleteWhere does he want to stay in a 1 bedroom apartment. The house is small. Please tell him no
ReplyDeleteDoes it mean he doesn't save for accommodation for the time he has worked, depending on his boss to be paying for his rent.
ReplyDeleteIf I may ask how long will he stay with you and hubby.
Please my advice is to tell him no, because he will not plan to leave, also his stay may cause problems and pains to you and your marriage.
It's better you and hubby support him to pay for a place for a year rent and thereafter he will start taking care of his bills.
Your husband’s friend has no sense.
ReplyDeleteAsking that of you both is the stupidest thing I’ve read this year.
The man may feel bad? So? Protect yourself and your home.
He can join them under the nearest bridge close to his work place if he can’t get a place.
Lol @ join them under bridge
DeleteThe man is very selfish and self centered. Is your place the only place he can go to? Are you the only people he knows in the city.
ReplyDeleteIf it were him, will he like it?
Madam, face him and tell him sorry you can't do that now. As a matter of principle. You won't do it shikenan. The heavens won't fall.
Tell him NO, he has ulterior motive.
ReplyDeleteSay NO
ReplyDeleteWisdom is required here. Your husband should advice his friend to get a room telling him that he wouldn't want you to disrespect him because familarity breeds contempt with time while your husband adds part money to support the friend house's rent.
ReplyDeleteAs humans and sometimes Africans with our backward thinking (When everybody would be going right, you would see some small fraction going left).
ReplyDeleteBecause of what I put on the bracket up there, I decided to read all the comments and fortunately in my opinion.
This is the first time EVERYBODY are aggrying on same thing,
Lessons from this: Woke or not decency/ morality will forever be a thing 2. What 're wrongs or rights are easily recognised (Common sense) 3. Many D.N.A issues are not all women faults but some Hoeniranu Men like your husband paddy makes it easier..
Madam....TELL HIM NOOOOO
Tell him soooooo. I'm screaming here
ReplyDeleteThe audacity of it all.
ReplyDeleteYou both should immediately unfriend him. He is an extremely irreverent. Does he understand the sanctity of marriage.
How dare he
Your husband should have shot this down immediately. If he doesn't have the balls then do it yourself. I am so angry on your behalf. And when the time is right you might want to have a talk with your husband about boundaries. Also nothing will happen to your husband's job. We all help people all the time and we don't demand a wife swap as repayment
Dear poster anything càn happen, say NO.
ReplyDeleteNo further advice on this matter. Enough have been said. We will be waiting for the feedback on how you emphatically said NO to his strange and surreptitious request. Shameless men on suit everywhere looking unsuspectingly innocent and working tirelessly hard to dent the glory Almighty God bestowed on us men. Our dear women, please be on the lookout.
ReplyDeletePlease say NO
ReplyDeleteAm actually beginning to think that man purposely got a job far away from home for your husband 👈
ReplyDeleteThisis a No NO
ReplyDeleteI always tell women, don't be looking too friendly to all your husband's friend. In a way or the other, the man has the feeling that you won't reject the request. A kind of friendship has been transpiring between both of you, it might be part of the reason he helped your husband got that nature of job.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you know that sincerely both of you are not playing any game, tell it out pointblank. SIR, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. As simple as ABC. Things like this is not new to me at all. Pranks everywhere!