In a situation where a couple are not buoyant enough to have a big wedding, a very small wedding is advised to avoid stories that touch after the wedding....
Why do people borrow money to organize their wedding? They may not know it but such weddings are Dead on arrival....
How much is enough to organize a very small wedding in a situation where a couple wants to marry and don't have enough? Is 500k to small to organize a small wedding? No souvenirs, no Jollof rice etc...
How much did you use to organize your wedding? Did you borrow? Have you finished paying back or still paying? Did you fall out with the borrower? or did the stress of paying back what was borrowed to marry cause the Marriage to break up?
I read a comment on Facebook where someone said he borrowed money to get married and because he had to pay back with his Salary every month, he practically had no take home pay... He didnt tell his wife all the monies spent for the wedding was borrowed..
He said she left him.....
Lets gist!
This would be interesting......
ReplyDeleteI spent over 600k of my savings to support my husband and my parents (painting our house and buying some stuff to add to my dowry) in the wedding. Aside the money I spent, I borrowed him 250k few weeks to the wedding to avoid embarrassment. Only for this man to inform me after the wedding that he's owing 450k. Like how? You work and earn over 200k per month. The wedding was not impromptu since you chose the date and even when I kept insisting we moved the wedding you insisted we get married that you don't want the wedding to spill into another year.
DeleteThe most painful part was I had to quit my job and relocate to his base only to find out there was nothing in place. Had to use the rest of my savings to set up the house. The first few months after the wedding was not funny at all! I refused to get pregnant at first and only took in after things got better.
I know some of you will be wondering how come I didn't see all this. Well, my work was really tedious, I work Monday to Saturday and it was a long distance relationship. I never visited him, he was the only one who did the visiting back then. I never asked him for money since I work and my salary could take care of my little needs. Few months to the wedding, we spoke the kind of apartment we would rent and the furnitures and all that, he even sent me some pictures. So I decided to support him a little financially in the wedding to reduce the burden on him. I was saving to start up a small business when I relocate to join him in his base since my career does not pay much at his base. As the wedding got closer and we had to book and pay vendors and buy other stuff, oga started telling stories. I had to send money to my parents for some of the traditional stuff to cover his shame. Also borrowed him 250k which he promised to pay back but never did. He later sent 450k only to inform me after the wedding that it was a loan.😭😭😭😭😭
The truth is, I regretted the wedding. I left my promising career, squandered all my savings, relocated to a strange land in the name of love. Now the love don clear from my eyes. I still regret the wedding though, and still piecing my life back together. I got a job here that pays me 1/5 of my former salary. It's barely enough to sustain me for 2 weeks but oga later stated giving me money for house upkeep. I discovered he did not lie about his salary, saw his salary alerts on his phone. But oga is a poor manager of his finances and can lend out the last 2k on him to someone in need. I call him microfinance bank.
Anyway, I have started saving little by little, I must start up a business next year by God's grace. My marriage is not perfect, due to the plenty hiccups and disappointment faced in the early months of the marriage, the love flew out of the window. I don't love him anymore, I don't think he loves me either but we are both working on the marriage. We respect each other and try to maintain peace. Communication is good and no verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Hopefully, the love will come back some day. Our sex life is good and I'm currently pregnant for our first child. I have a feeling the coming of this baby will bring genuine love to our Union.
I did not proofread so apologies for the typos.
I felt all you wrote and the genuineness. May God bless your marriage, just hang in there.
DeleteI know exactly how you feel I have been down that road, after successfully planing your life you cone and face serious challenges at the start, struggling to meet up debt and then feeding, in my case I took in almost immediately and could not even buy baby thing until the 8 month my sis gifted me small money, my mum sent some thrift clothes for the baby and his aunt also gifted us money thats how I managed to buy the little I could afford, that thing drained me sexually cos I was always worried about the debt plus my health
DeleteMay God bless your home and return the love that has been lost,it is well with your soul.
DeleteAnon, it is well. May the love return back to your marriage.
DeleteGod will Restore all u lost. U r a good woman
DeleteVery small something that looked extremely rich and classy. Just 20 guests. We spent 250k.
DeleteDid honeymoon in Dubai and entered house
Thanks Anons, first lady,justy and Q.S. I have been taking it one day at a time. I know everything will work out for my good. Amen.
DeleteI felt what you wrote deeply and I pray God visits your home with love since you both have understanding.
DeletePeople may think you are a good digger cus the love cleared but they won't understand that a lot can kill ones love.
I can see he is also trying his best, may God ignite your home with passion and love because doing a lifetime like this would be depressing.
Anon 15.04, I pray God restores the love in your union and blesses you with a better career opportunity than the one you resigned from.
DeleteI pray God blesses the works of your hubby’s hands too and make him more responsible with his finances and family.
May God give you cause to be happy again that you married that man. Amen
Anon 15.04 no think am oo your marriage is made in heaven these are phase of a solid marriage foundation just be calm and trust the process
DeleteSomeone like me, I don't really like all those over serious luxurious weddings at all. Once the necessary bride price is paid, and enough rice, meat and drinks are ready for the guests under the canopy then my husband man should take me home biko. We will snap with our phones. My friends call me an ogbanje (dizzy angel) whenever I talk about my simple wedding. Reason is because I can't stand crowd, I can't even dance in church let alone in the presence of different people with strangers 🙈
ReplyDeleteAre you me? Am I you? I love private and small weddings.
DeleteThat enough rice and meat, the money spent on them ,will be enough to snap good pictures for memory sake. I think pictures are more important than rice
DeleteSamehere also
DeleteKisses to you Mejhay! We are the same o
DeleteJust wait until that time Mejhay,then come back and tell us how it really went.
DeleteThat is how my friend that didn't have anything wanted to do wedding and asked me for help. Me that was managing managed to send her 70k. I advised her to do a parlor thing and use the money for the so called wedding to start up something e be like my mouth dey smell. Long story short, she told me yesterday they are looking for 100k to complete their rent.
DeleteI swear even if I have 1billion right now, I no go give her 1kobo.
Wedding was just 3 weeks ago and una don broke.
Nonsense.
Why not do.the thing with what you have?! I can never understand people really
i heard a man borrowed money to do his wedding, and both of them have divorced. the man is still paying the money...
ReplyDeleteMy husband wanted an elaborate wedding and he got it, left to me, I no get papa so no sponsor, I know I can't afford a big wedding. The only thing I did was paid for cakes and decorations, every other things were being done by my husband. He rented a hall of #300,000 and yet, at the end of everything, we never borrowed a dime, in fact, all the money they sprayed us was kept in my abandoned account for over 3 months. And to the glory of God, we returned to our own house.
DeleteI will never advise anyone to borrow for wedding, because after wedding is always very tough.
We did a small wedding for my brother and we spent almost #500,000, for a party of about 40 people, and the lady is an orphan, nobody supported, 95% of everything was done by us.
So I doubt if #500,000 can be enough for a small wedding with this present situation in Nigeria.
*Larry was here*
Well, if ppl see how the world is going these days and would still borrow and put themselves in debt, then anything they meet is their problem.
ReplyDeleteMy brother is getting married in a few months time, fiance wants a flamboyant wedding. Infact, she wants my kind of wedding and wants the white wedding done at my parents state of residence instead of her parents. My brother can not afford it but still called me to get the break down of the expenses during my wedding. I gave him the breakdown and when he complained it was too much and how my husband tried to have spent that much, I told him I contributed 1/3 of the expenses in that wedding and I regretted it because after 2 days, the whole thing was over and we both over spent.
DeleteMeanwhile, the fiance that is insisting on a big wedding is not working and is not contributing a Kobo for the wedding. She said if he is not going to do the wedding her way, he should postpone the wedding until he can afford it. I told him not to borrow money to do wedding oh and he should not even use all his savings for the wedding because after the wedding they will still feed and pay rent.
My mum too called the lady and told her they will not do any wedding at her place as she is get to recover from the stress of mine and does not have the energy to cater for so many guests. That it is either they do it at her parents or where my brother is based. Well, wedding is slated to hold a few months from now, I think I should call my brother to find out if she has finally agreed to hold both the trad and white wedding at her parents place.
Abi you should call your brother to reconsider marrying this type of woman?I would do that if I were you.you are seeing signs but everyone is ignoring it.
DeleteThey better cut their coat according to their size, your brother better not let this woman ruin him.
DeleteAnon 15:19, your brother is about to enter on chance marriage. Please tell him to do what he can afford. If the girl refuse, he should just walk.
DeleteWe have spoken to him but he refused to hear and we can not force him to leave her because they have been dating for years. He is her first boyfriend and is the one that disvirgined her so I can't force him to leave her after eating the cookie.
Deletewhen my mum discovered my brother was really serious with her, she told him to tell her to go back to school and finish her education if he wants to marry her because she can not train her own daughters to university level for other men to marry and her son will marry an OND holder. He followed up with her and made sure she got her OND results and applied for HND. She's done with school now but yet to work.
He said she is behaving like that because he is her first boyfriend and she does not have relationship experience. That she will change with time. Anyway, she seems like a nice girl and they have been together for years now so I guess they will sort out the wedding issues eventually.
Your brother better have a rethink and call of this wedding. How can someone be so inconsiderate and selfish?
DeleteThis one will send your brother to go and steal.
Exactly what that athlete's sister was talking about in her response. "zero finance and emotional supporting Nigerian women". That lady falls into that description tbh. How can only one person be jobless, broke, entitled, emotionless, insensitive, inconsiderate, wicked and unapologetic about it? She doesn't even give a damn about her parents. Well, good luck to the both of them.
DeleteIs your brother mine?, cus mine just concluded his introduction and that alone cost him over 400k.
DeleteI asked if he must bring a professional photographer and makeup artist and after lying to me he went ahead with it.
There's no advice I dint give him that day, well I have told them the way they are going this his marriage may not work because the lady also likes to always have her way.
I will only support however I can and would not be breaking my back for anyone, at this point I don't even want to advice anyone, if you like when you get marriage eat sand.
And oh, my brother is also her first boyfriend.
DeleteChisom, you are very correct. And to think this same unique was everywhere on that post antagonising the lady. The same thing the lady was trying to say is actually happening under her nose, but yet trying to deny the obvious. Although, we all know the lady was wrong generalising.
DeleteServes him right.. I just can't wrap my head around why people borrow money for wedding just to show of and end up drinking garri or selling wedding gift to feed, that's foolishness of the highest order.
ReplyDeleteFoolishness of the highest order.Do as your power reach simple.
ReplyDeleteServes him right.. I just can't wrap my head around why people borrow money for wedding just to show of and end up drinking garri or selling wedding gift to feed, that's foolishness of the highest order.
ReplyDelete500k now cant go for a small wedding;cost of outfit for the Lady alone,suit or native for the man,Couple Ring,Transportation,feeding for the no of people present,Accommodation for those few days are just a tip..
ReplyDeleteNow if she is an Igbo from a place like mine;Bride price and list,Kolanut,refreshment(big or small marriage) etc will take it all and more..
500k can look Big as a figure when written,but when it comes to marriage;bring this bring that will make you realise that 500k isn't as huge as it sounds when pronounced or spelt..
Except you are probably sending a delegate to just pay the bride price and village list,that's the way I think 500k can do the traditional rite for an IGBO bride..
If you and your family and few village people are going to her place;I doubt even 700k will currently..
@MARTINS
You say what Martins? And I was thinking I am now ready for marriage. Oh dear me!!! I still have a long way to go🙆🙆🙆
DeleteYou are right Martins. 500k can not do a wedding in this economy. A small wedding should cost 1 million and an ok wedding should be around 1.5 million. This depends on your location sef because in some places, an average wedding will cost nothing less than 2 million due to the cost of wedding vendors.
DeleteIf one's budget is 500k, my advice is to do a parlour traditional marriage, pay her bride price and the items on the list then go to the registry and do a legal marriage then go to church for blessings. After a few years when you have made it, throw a big wedding anniversary party and celebrate. It is plain foolishness to borrow to get married.
When I saw my marriage list few months ago, I was shocked mehn bills running in millions, I am from Imo and boy that list was something else, God bless my daddy and uncles they made it very easy for me n hubby, didn't spend even half of that money. the point is it depends largely on the bride's family,my inlaws didn't expect it they had it in mind that my people will cut their" neck"because of the reception they went all out for the white wedding. I never wanted a big party but oga choose to and it was massive and successful. I won't advise any one to borrow for a day event, Never! do as ur pocket reach u can't please everyone!
DeleteLol I actually gave the family everything they needed for list. We rented canopy and did small party. Why it was like that was because my parents insisted I was the only girl and we should at least play music.
DeleteMy list wasn't up to 200k sef.
After the whole thing including clothes we spend almost 500k. We didn't send any invite o. Na only umuada et all. We sent our friends online IV. Come if u want it's not a force😂😂.
Anyway after trad, we strolled on day inside registry to do court wedding on casuals. And we went home to sleep.
We had the most simple wedding ever, and we have really been having the most amazing marriage so far 7years.
We didn't ask for 1naira, we didn't even ask for money sprayed. I didn't buy anything to take to husband house.
I told my parents not to bother biko, I got to my home and bought all I needed small small.
Hubby said he is using the supposed big money to buy me my first car few months after wedding.
I kept saying u don't have to send people, alot of people talked and said my husband was a broke man, we didn't complain o.
We even started with a single room.
Few months ago we just bought our duplex in lekki.
I remember my friend then saying a room is too small to start life, Omo it's not small o. We moved when we had our first child to 2rooms. Until we got our own place. Nna nobody should force u jare. Life na small small. Me I don't give people money doing wedding o.
Don't even let me hear pls support me. Oga do as Ur account reach.
Na curse dem go curse u dem no go kee u.
Shebi my uncle dem don forget my matter, my 3kids de enjoy our family peace o. By the way na iPhone we use snap and do videos.
We took it for editing and album it. Lol I nova still die.
Misplaced priority
I just love you @19.12
DeleteExactly the kind of wedding I wanted but my hubby refused because he's the first son. He didn't go above his limit anyway.
I have a relative who went overboard and killed two cows for her wedding among other paparazzi stuff, yet few months down the line, she and her husband were looking for funds to support his business.
Such foolishness!
In my mother's place they used to say "sé bí o tì mõ kí té"
ReplyDeleteAs for me oooo, I cannot do pass my myself.
I can't borrow to do wedding. In my case, we didn't spend up to 300k in 2013. We got alot cause people supported my husband, and he supports them during their own.
ReplyDeleteInfact, God made it easy for me. The hall we rented was 15k with chairs and tables 7k.
I can't borrow to have the best, and go home crying.
Even till today, if l don't have money, l will not do anything that will make me to borrow.
Just because my girlfriend gave me her skirt to do a presentation in Church, she was monitoring me like village people with bad mouth. Since then,l have rejected any spirit of borrowing.
The point is;no wedding is the latest,
No wedding can beat Princess Diana's own,
No gown will pass the one that was already worn before.
If you have this mindset, no wahala. Just do according to your pocket. As na after the reggae, starts the blues.
Nnem inwere sense. You are wise
Delete👍
DeleteAdalu Anon and first Lady
DeleteAnybody that wants to borrow to do wedding is allowed as far as you can pay the loan without causing katakata. But it is advisable to cut your coat according to your amount with you.
ReplyDeleteBye
My wedding
ReplyDeleteEverything I spent on my marriage, from the day my then fiance came to say "it is me" to my dad
down to our wedding ceremony was not more than 800k (please, this is not a meticulous arithmetic cost
but a guess. And note also that as at then, I earned more than 5 times that per annum).
Ways we cut costs;
1. Wedding gown: I wore white skirt suit and a beautiful hat...which I continued to wear 5 years after the wedding. It was
different but admired by all.
2. No renting of Hall; Bride price in my dad's house, registry and off to an eatery to entertain the guests, they ate and took away.
3. Rings: I did not include this one; I had chosen what I wanted to wear in one of my trips
4. Traditional wear: simple attire, chosen, designed and sewed by a simple town tailor who knew what she did
5. Cake; Did that just for the camera. Did not really feature in the main events
6. No church or marriage class; we have been studying the Bible and following Christ and his teachings on marriage all our lives
and besides, no wedding took place in the church in the New Testament (No offence meant for those who celebrate in churches).
Bride Price/list; virtually non existent. My dad told my finace then to bring what he wants. It was a token of his love, not
to break the banks.
No Aso ebi, no bridal train, no motorcade, no junks, no folly.
Borrowing to wed is the most stupid thing I know a lot of couples do. How can you enter into a new life laden with debts?
Marriage is like Christ and the Church, Eph. 5, did Christ borrow to marry the Church?
How will you even enjoy any bliss in your marriage knowing that you are owing; just for a day ceremony?
we planned our finances for our marriage, not our wedding. 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
During my wedding last year December precisely , the event planner estimated 13million for the traditional marriage. That’s apart from accessories, clothing and food cos we wanted a luxury wedding. our parents were going to support us so we could spend as we wanted. In the end, we spent 16 million naira for traditional marriage here in Nigeria. Then the white wedding at Canada(Ontario) was sponsored by my father Inlaw’s only brother.
ReplyDeleteMy In-laws sponsored the wedding eventually. My parent (bride) gave us 5 million as support. My mother inlaw gave us 12 million as her own support. While my father Inlaw gave us 20million. It’s easier to convert their dollar to naira to amount to large figures.
Been the last born, my three older siblings gave me 6 million for support.
My mother Inlaw’s elder brother, former senator/governor of L... gave us 20million naira.
Cash from immediate family and friends cos my mother-in-law is a societal woman amounted to 11.2 million to support us. My father in law loved every bite of the event especially the traditional since he’s not a Nigerian.
That’s how I became rich lol after the wedding cos Dr my hubby said I should save the remaining balance.
We didn’t borrow. And I will never advise anyone to borrow for wedding. If you have spend.
🥺😱😳🙄 Nawa
Delete🙄🙄
DeleteYour own better,🤛
DeleteOkruuuuuuuu see as I open mouth...
Delete😲😲😲😲🙄
DeleteHahahaha see millions flying up and down. Na dream abi na real life?
DeleteWow
DeleteI don't know why I will do something to impress others. I'll do according to my ability and leave the rest.
ReplyDeleteI don't care about people's opinions.
500k? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Stella are you whining me? 500k is NOTHING! Not in this current situation in Nigeria! What would it cover? The bride dress? The groom's suit? Food and drinks? Transportation? Registry? Bride price and the plenty THINGS that goes with it eg...fruits, yam, wine. I wish we can just go back to the olden days 😥. Well...borrowing money to do a party is bad! Is either you wait till you could afford the kind of wedding you want (desires) or go for a SMALL and private one and manage your resources. Na after wedding dey TOUGH pass ooo...ire ooo 🚶
ReplyDeleteRegarding borrowing for a wedding;that to me is sort of "Planning to fail" cos you definitely "failed to plan" well..
ReplyDeleteI cant even advice an enemy to take such ridiculous step to something as good as marriage..
What you couldn't save before marriage;what gives you such courage to take a ridiculous step as Borrowing for a "Wedding"?
The way I reason most times is based on background;cos I know where I come from so why try to impress people with a "Big wedding" when that money can actually open another branch of Biz for either me or my wife??
Or at least saved for the kids..
For those who have the money already;a big wedding isn't an issue for me;but you that your family or few persons probably depend on,what is your reason??
Please borrowing for a wedding doesnt even sound good to be heard;not to talk of actually doing it..
If a woman you want to settle down with has that "Big wedding fantasy" and doesnt provide the fund to support you;kindly ABORT MISSION if you wish to live long(by Gods Grace)..
@MARTINS
Some times these women don't make this thing easy for us and yet they will think we don't want to settle down or running from marriage.
DeleteThank you
Delete👌👌
DeleteTeejay better shine your eye well well.As any woman not making it easy for you cos of overspending for wedding o.Cos after wedding marriage begins .
DeleteWe didn't borrow for our wedding. It's not even logical. The time you will spend enjoying yourselves, will now be used in thinking on how to payback your loan.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a reasonable payment plan, borrowing for a wedding shouldn’t be an issue. We incurred a debt of almost a million for our wedding and paid back within a year. I did not want my husband to borrow sha, but he did anyways, it’s safe to say he had his dream wedding but left for me, something small and intimate has always been my thing.
ReplyDeleteNothing beats an understanding woman.
ReplyDeleteIf you want your marriage expenses to be much then it will be much.peoplr should stop acting like they made it compulsory to spend too much.
All this shout about church/white being expensive, it's what one wants o.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that did the traditional loud but the white was as simple as you can think.
It was on a Sunday morning service, after the sermon, they were called out she in her white and her sister as the chief, the man in his suit and his bro as bestman. After all blessing and joining, church close, pictures taken, everybody to your house and they are still together in Peace.
Note. She wasn't pregnant before that, before some of you will say it's because of that.
I don't want to even talk about mine sef.
Still owing photographer after 4 years... My husband did borrow without my knowledge took up to 2 years to pay back it wasn't easy, not as if it was a big marriage not sure everything was morethan 600k but he had financial issues as at then
ReplyDeleteBut all the same its the willingness to pay back
Not fair oo.Go and look for that photographer and pay your debt.
DeleteAm already working on that, promised to be paying in installments, in fact around may I had 10k I gave him but he retuned it saying he wants to find the video first
DeleteThe problem now is he can't fnd the video, but he has the pictures we even charted this morning want to collect the pic pending when he finds the video
stella,is it your borrowing???...everybody can't wear the same shoe size!...for someone to borrow for his/her marriage isn't a sin!...they must be really in a tight fix,for them to be involved in that.everybod's destiny isn't the same.some marriages have crashed even without the couple borrowing.some person are waiting unnecessarily for all things in their lives to be perfect before they marry.No!...improve on many aspects of your lives before marriage.and when you do marry...keep on improving on yourselves(with God fully inside it)..that's all is needed.stop listening to the biggest lie on earth that borrowing crashed a marriage.such people are immature!...the problem with people is that they fail to involve God and grow with God...people give up on God too easily.that's why some marriages fail.you think you can do it by yourself.many depend on'wise'friends and strangers for marital advice and direction rather than growing up and getting their own wisdom,knowledge and understanding.that my friend,is the simple truth!...avoid bandwagonism.
ReplyDeleteI wish for a small/private wedding of not more than 30people maximum. I don't like stress. Why should i borrow to impress people and deprive myself of good night sleep and better knacking, mba oo
ReplyDeleteThank you jaree
DeleteMy wedding won’t be up to 500k
ReplyDeleteVery small private wedding
If my mum like she should throw a different party
As for me and my husband, go to court
Do sitting room engagement
Spend d rest on honeymoon
That borrowing to do wedding happens everywhere.Even oyinbo people do it too.They either do a gofundme or compel their invitees to contribute.Bottom line is,do what you can afford without ending up in debt.If you can afford a N100m wedding,by all means do it.Do not be pressured by family,your spouse or anybody else for that matter.
ReplyDeleteThe perfect wedding for me is registry,then an all you can eat dinner with friends and family.I don’t care how much that dinner will cost o but I don’t want all the drama that comes with parties before one person will say they didn’t give him food or greet him well or they gave him one meat bla bla bla.miss me with all that.
ReplyDeleteDo things within your financial capability.
ReplyDeleteMy take is work with the money you have. Just make sure your partner is in support of what you are doing. Everything will work out fine. Wedding is just a day thing. Marriage is the real deal.
ReplyDeleteOne of the worse thing that will happen to newly married couples is debt... I tasted it and I felt the pain.
ReplyDeleteThe first year (2017) of our marriage was hell although the money I borrowed wasn't much (#40k) I paid before the lady I borrowed from ask for it. But then there was nothing in the house to start a home with.
Thank God for my wife. She understood the situation and the remaining change from the wedding was what we used to buy robber carpet and 2 plastic chairs into our self con apartment.
But to the glory of God, we are almost 5 years in marriage now, we weather the storm and much stable now...
We have 2 kids and the blessings of God on us has being tremendous.
God bless my wife for me, she's one in a million.
Borrow to wed??Nahhhhh!!!Not adviceabl
ReplyDeleteTruly it is not that advisable.
DeleteYou can't start a marriage with a long term debt when you don't have a tangible source of income.
And you come marry a man with no vision, na there wahala starts.
Instead of borrowing to marry,why not use the money to pursue a business and get marry when it booms.
ReplyDeleteIf a woman you want to settle down with has that "Big wedding fantasy" and doesnt provide the fund to support you;kindly ABORT MISSION if you wish to live long(by Gods Grace).. Martins aboy 2021
ReplyDelete