Dr Freaks Journal - The Boy Who Became A Lawyer By "Accident" -

"The mind has exactly the same power as the hands; not merely to grasp the world, but to change it." -Colin Wilson.

Growing up, like some other children of my age, I had high aspirations. 

Some wanted to become engineers, police officers, soldiers, lawyers, masons, carpenters, doctors, etc. I think mine changed as I progressed in life.

 As a child, I hated oppression and cheating and I just wanted to be a doctor so I could "inject policemen". What informed my early decision? I had two unpleasant encounters with some policemen at a tender age.

 1. Some Traffic Wardens "Yellow Fever" flagged down my parents' car in Benin-City on our way to Onitsha sometimes in 1980 or thereabout and held us "hostage" for about 5 hours because my dad refused to part with some wads of Naira notes as demanded by these "gentlemen"; 

 2. I think I was travelling with my parents again and another team of policemen delayed us for a few minutes and my hatred for the police grew from that moment. Do I still hate the Police? No. 

I even attempted to join the Force twice -1998 and 2007.


Primary school was eventful. I made good friends and thanks to Facebook for reconnecting many of us. They are too numerous to mention. Was I naughty in those days? I think I could pass for a "gentle" lad save for one or two incidents. I had this cousin who was always "antagonising" little me at home. I was helpless at home because she is older and for cultural reasons, she would be in the right and I would always be in the wrong. I hate(d) that aspect of the culture though.

 The "calm" spirit in me waited for my dear cousin to get to school before striking. I think I was in primary 1 whilst she was in primary 5. The same "calm" spirit led her to me while I was playing on the field with my friends. Aunty came to "taunt" me as usual and guess what, I taught her a good lesson. I picked up a little stone and like a "snipper" (note, not the famous poison) that I was then, the stone "left" the comfort of my little fingers and palm, effortlessly and hit her on her little forehead. Blood gushed out and I was scared to the marrow. 

Little Aunty ran to my mother who also happened to be a teacher in the same school. On getting to my mum, she did not even wait to hear from her before ranting and threatening to deal with her assailant.

 Behold, it was Olakunle, again! 

Mama was helpless at this time, as usual. What happened thereafter is a story for another day.


The other experience was a more horrific one. I think I was in primary 4 at the time and it was time for manual labour. After clearing the premises, we decided to burn the debris and as we were having a good time burning the stuff, another "calm spirit" just whispered in my ears, "oya, push that boy into the burning debris", and like a sheep being led to the slaughter, my dear friend was struggling inside the burning fire. I quickly ran to my class, took my bag and ran home.

 The first thing I did when I got home was to get to the kitchen where I peeled, sliced and fried plantain. Guess what, after frying my plantain "jejely", I took it to my unsuspecting father who was then enjoying his retirement at home. By the time the folks of my victim arrived at my home, I was on the same table with my dad, eating "our" plantain. After reporting me to my dad, he got so confused as he was not even aware that I had stepped out of the house on that day. The poor man vouched for me and explained that there must have been a mix-up somewhere. I ran into my victim few months back.

 We have always been friends and he had even forgotten until I reminded and apologised to him at a function recently. God later delivered me. Lol.


Fast forward, secondary school was full of its antics, pranks, etc, some of which I have shared on this page earlier. I have written about my secondary school escapades and career aspirations, about how I had wanted to become an actor and I think a journalist at some point. Eventually, I toyed with the idea of studying law at some point, just to pacify my dad who never wanted me to have anything to do with the Arts, despite the fact that he discovered my little writing prowess first, I think when I was in Class 2. Yes Class 2 before Prof Babs Fafunwa and his confused co-travellers imposed their ignoble 6-3-3-4 System on us retroactively and made us spend extra 1 year plus 4 months in secondary school, contrary to the initial 5 year contract that we signed with the system.


Then, I proceeded to University of Benin to study Linguistics. I have written about my Uniben days too and I shall not bore you with same today.


After my first degree, I got posted to Adamawa State and later redeployed to Port Harcourt where I ended up serving in one of the multinational companies.


After my Youth Service programme, I remained with my brother, the one who taught me all the good (and bad) things I know (I'm sure he's not reading this because he's the most social media insular person in Africa) and shortly after, he got me a job with a cement company where I worked for a year plus before toying with the idea of going back to school for further studies. I considered MBA and later commenced my PDGIA in one of the schools in Rivers State.


Long and short, my mother was troubled because she could feel it in her soul that I was not fulfilled. God rest her beautiful soul. On this lonely night, at about 2.05am, my mum and my brother visited my room and sought my permission to talk to me. I honestly do not know where my mum got that idea from, whenever she needed to have an impactful or life changing moment with you, she would come to your room between 2.00am and 4.00am, when your "enemies" are distracted, I guess? Even if your heart is as hard as the Rock of Gibraltar, it would melt. "That woman sabi how to get me sha!" 

The mission was clear and short. They wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life! Choi! "Yawa don gas!" Honestly speaking, despite the fact that I had certificates in my name, I did not have clarity as to who and what I wanted to be in life at the time. With a view to sending the duo out of my room, I just stated that I intended to go back to school to study Law. 

What informed my decision? You really care to know? I just said that because I thought they would just smile and conclude that I was not a serious minded fellow and walk out of my room. Hell no! They both jumped up and shouted "eureka"! Deep down, I was like why are these ones excited. The following morning, my brother gave me money and insisted that I must purchase the UME Direct Entry form without further delay. My excited mum too began to "take things easy with me." That was how I began my journey of becoming a legal practitioner.


Looking back now, my decision of studying law was actually by accident but guess what, it was more of a divine accident. God has a way of directing our paths and even when we are going astray, He has a way of redirecting our paths. To the glory of God, today, I am a lawyer and I am loving it. It can get much better though, but always pursue your dream and remember that whatever the mind of a man can conceive, he can achieve.


Remember too, that Olakunle only became a lawyer by accident.

Its me Kunle.