CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN – 36

I met a young lady at the airport last week while I was returning from Lagos.

 The flight was delayed “due to operational reasons” and while we waited, I found myself sitting close to this beautiful, young woman.

From the information I gathered during our conversation she is in her late twenties....

After jokingly telling her that we were stuck together for the next couple of hours; that she would have to manage with my shenanigans. She smiled and we started talking. She asked me if I was married, and I replied “yes”. Then came the question I often have to answer “where is your wedding ring?”


“I don’t wear one”, my standard answer. Naturally, she asked me why. I tried explaining my reasons. All the points I tried giving to her weren’t valid enough as far as she was concerned. Her point was that as long as we were wedded with a ring in the church, I was obligated to always put on the ring. She also added that we married men these days don’t like putting on our rings because it makes it convenient for us to cheat on our wives.

I felt she was making a wrong assumption from her over-generalization but then she is entitled to her own opinion. Ring or no ring, the one that will cheat will always cheat. Besides, for someone like me. It will be very difficult to convince any woman that I wasn’t married; and denying my family and wife will rank among the stupidest thing I would ever do because I want to cheat.

I lost my wedding ring two years into my marriage and I have never worn one since then. Losing the ring then was ironic because I couldn’t tell my wife the truth about how I lost it. I simply told her I lost it at work since we were sometimes required to take off our rings before doing certain jobs to avoid entrapment of our fingers.

But over the years, I have noticed that a lot of us married men no longer wear their wedding rings. When I came back to Port Harcourt from that trip, I did a rough scan of our “fellowship center” in one of the evening hangouts. I discovered that ninety percent of us married men in that place where not putting on rings. So, I brought up the topic. I asked why they don’t wear their wedding rings.

The most common two response I got were because they have grown fatter in their fingers and the rings no longer fit it; and they found wearing ring inconveniencing. Another interesting thing from that discussion was that some of them have also lost their rings and didn’t bother replacing it like me.

Others felt they have been married for too long and didn’t have to wear a ring to prove that they are married. They feel that you should know they are married by their ages whether they wear ring or not.

Coincidentally, while we were having this conversation, a woman was sitting nearby and she made a bombshell comment. “Girls these days even prefer dating married men that wear wedding rings”. Really? She went further “A man that puts on his wedding rings shows a committed husband and a serious person at that. Such men make for better sugar daddies if they want to cheat. They pay better and treat the side chicks better”. 

Wow!

The conversation continued and we all shared our different views.

My wife has never been really particular about me wearing my wedding ring. It never bothered her. After I lost mine. We didn’t even talk about replacing it and I have continued like that till this day. I personally don’t see any correlation between wearing the ring and your commitment to the marriage. But then, we all have our different opinions and values. Each to his own.

Just a few points on wedding rings.

One, if your partner places much value on the it and if wearing it makes them happy. Kindly wear it.

 If your religion or value system requires you to wear it, please do.

 If it’s your way of showing commitment to your marriage or if it is a symbol of your honour to the sacrament of marriage. By all means wear it. But understand that some of us may not feel that way. It doesn’t make us less committed husbands.

Two, wearing a ring doesn’t stop or encourage one to cheat. As a matter of fact, I know people that pull off their rings as soon as they leave home. Others even wear their rings while doing the escapades. It doesn’t really matter. Though for some, waring a ring can be a sign of respect for their marital vows. But it doesn’t stop anyone from cheating.

Three, some people don’t like wearing rings, I am a good example of such. Even before I lost mine, it was always a struggle for me wearing the ring. These days, my wife doesn’t even wear hers anymore because her fingers are bigger than the rings now. It always a problem trying to pull them off whenever she wears them. Besides, I don’t care whether she wears it or not and never bother myself about it.

Lastly, like I would always say. Do what works for you and your partner. Whether you wear your ring or not is entirely up to you and your partner. It’s your choice.

I will leave it at that for this week.


See ya next week…


Ciao!