Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Please I need help.
I'm naturally a very indoor person, going out is a chore for me. I just met this amazing guy, he is so active, like plays a lot, very very outgoing, doesn't stay one place. Over active.
I believe you can understand his kind of person ...
Now He is talking about us visiting a lot of places, trying to see me daily and it's choking me, at the same time, I'm not a kid but I'm scared I won't be able to be going out with him the way he wants it and that might put a string in the relationship, as it will be like I'm not serious .
Please I need help, I need ideas, I tried discussing it with him, he didn't want to hear any of it. That how can he be with me and we don't go out, at least 6 times a week chio....
Please help a sister, I'm an extremist indoor person, don't know whether you understand that type.
* Are you for real? extremist indoor type indeed!.... How can you ate someone and not want to go out or see them regularly? Do you have inferiority complete? do you have mental health issues that need to be handled? if not please I am with your ma on this, GO OUT AND BREATH!!!
Poster you better calm down. Go out and have fun. Indoor will not give you the life partner you desire.
ReplyDeleteFrom going out, you can know his kind of person the more.
You seem to have anxiety disorder poster
DeleteDon't blame her, it maybe the way she grow up or inferiority complex,
Delete"he is so active" .... i like dis part...my sister, you need to run, not to write chronicle of heart break
What you people fail to understand" is that we that like indoors don't really find pleasure in going out( it is quite difficult)it is not about inferiority complex for some. maybe go out once in a while but 6 days in a week ain't easy.
DeletePoster If you really like the guy, you have to try going out with him and see if you will start to adapt but if not it will put a strain in your relationship with him.
I'm an indoor person too, I can stay for 3 days without stepping out. My husband is always complaining about that. He's an outgoing person and that's one of the reasons why I married him. Sometimes he drags me out and I enjoy the late night outings although once it's 10 pm, I start insisting that we return home. He is always going out and I don't complain because I know that is his kind of person. Sometimes, I follow him out, most times, I don't. He teases me that I stay indoors too much and I tease him that he can't stay in a place.
DeleteBut it seems yours is extreme. You should be able to hang out with him once in a while. I know going out might seem like an unnecessary stress, but once you are out, you will be happy you stepped out.
The fact that he isn't ready to meet you half way is a red flag. He still insists on your meeting him at his extreme (6x a week!!! Sorry, but you guys work and have other things to attend to, right?).
DeleteDiscuss the need for a compromise on the number of times you guys should go out a week. If he doesn't see the need to do so, then regard him as a rigid person who would always want to have his way. And what you do with that is... you run.
God bless you anon! Imagine everyone tagging her with inferiority complex. You should make an effort, but he has to meet you halfway. Not impose himself on you! Pls there's nothing wrong with you.
DeleteBut wait o. Why would someone want to go out 6 times in a week? What does he do that he has so much time in his hands?
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think you need to loosen up
I been wan ask too oh, poster I hope the guy is not intk showbiz, because if he is you'll need to get ready to loosen up well or just let him be.
DeleteMeet him halfway, dress up, go out and meet new people, have fun. You might just start enjoying the outings eventually.
😂😂😂😂😂 inddin she should loosening up,but even me sef was thinking...six times a week is it not too much?😒
DeleteNo matter what traits you ticked there is always a deal breaker,poster your deal breaker is you don't go out often and so you need someone that understands you and love you that way, I am not saying you shouldn't compromise but truth is let the guy go!a guy that loves indoor settings and loves you will come because if you put head you go always complain and even if you agree or change your stance to please him ,a time would come you will get tired of all of it and you start seeing his trait go against you.so poster leave him,he is not for you.everyone got a match
ReplyDeleteI absolutely understand you but you have got to be more outgoing or you risk losing him
ReplyDeleteMe that is looking for who will be taking me out.
ReplyDeleteI know it can be overwhelming sometimes but then if you love this person, you can compromise.
"Extremist (sic) indoor" sister, please
ReplyDeletewhat do you usually do indoors? Yes, me self na indoor person o.
I pray, study my Bible and watch gospel movies on PUREflix.
If this person loves you, he will receive you as you are even as you do likewise for him. What this means is that
you both have to sacrifice for each other; for Love is all about sacrifice. The compromise will look like, going out thrice a week; weekends. I won't suggest the indoor thing because, if you do not
have the right level of discipline, fornication will become like a chorus
and kill the relationship and that will be sin against God.
So, what is the place of the Lord Jesus in your life and relationship?
🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
You've just said it all😘😘
DeleteGod bless you. Poster listen to this 👆👆.
DeleteYou both should meet half way...
Poster if it's like a chore to step out & have fun with this guy then you aren't into him, he is not your man!
ReplyDeleteI mean no matter how comfortable your house is, or how private a person you are, this is a budding relationship na, e suppose to dey catch you for body.
It is called sacrifice, if you can't do it then forget the relationship.
Don't you think if you can at least hang out with him like twice a week he would come around and might change his pattern to suit your person too? But not going out at all, or less than normal is a problem and won't just sit well with your man who looks like a social butterfly
Loosen out a bit Poster.
ReplyDeleteLife is meant to be experienced and enjoyed.
Unless you don't want this relationship to blossom into something beautiful, you'd want to take on the adventure of spending more outdoors time with your man.
The lover should simply bring those outdorr fun inside !people no just understand some people .
Deletemy future girlfriend and w..., please Run and wait for me...please dont let him your shift womb before i come....just be patience am coming....single and mingle loading.....................................................................................stella is the one delaying us oooo...stella we are waiting for you.....
DeleteIf you are serious person u can contact her through Stella not waiting for single and mingle.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteStella, no nau. I really do understand the poster because I’m also an introvert..My dear, you are the one to help yourself out of the situation.. If you truly want the relationship ,you have to fight that demon to survive ...you can if you really wish..I wish you luck
ReplyDeleteThere is no demon 👿 to fight here please. She is who she is and even though she needs to go out more often, the guy should understand and meet her halfway. Who outgoing help? 🤷♀️ I like my quiet life abeg.
DeleteTwins Squared.
6 times a week, is too much..please don't go too deep in this outing things, it have destroy some ladies in port harcout...a wife told her husband one Friday night, that they should go clubbing and forget about all night prayers in church...just be patience "time will tell. (I'm naturally a very indoor person- i must confess, you are my type...please dont get lost with dis acting things please....next single and mingle please indicate that you are I'm naturally a very indoor person.. i will do everything to get you and marry you....my present girlfriend is the opposite of you and it is killing me..
ReplyDeleteYou can ask Stella for connection oga you must not wait till SnM
DeleteAbi o.
Delete6 times a week, is too much..please don't go too deep in this outing things, it have destroy some ladies in port harcout...a wife told her husband one Friday night, that they should go clubbing and forget about all night prayers in church...just be patience "time will tell. (I'm naturally a very indoor person- i must confess, you are my type...please dont get lost with dis outing things please....next single and mingle please indicate that you are I'm naturally a very indoor person.. i will do everything to get you and marry you....my present girlfriend is the opposite of you and i it is killing me..i have told her, we need to quit the relationship..
ReplyDelete"a wife told her husband one Friday night, that they should go clubbing and forget about all night prayers in church"... and so flipping what?
DeleteAnyway, you and the poster fit each other. Boring people
Chai 🤣🤣🤣this life truly no balance oya poster husband is waiting for you oo in this life just choose your match no need forcing a square peg in a round hole.
Delete@Shooter Gyal. that don't not mean, we cant be going out once in a while......she is my type..be patience for the next single and mingle...
Delete@shooter gyal being an introvert doesn’t mean the poster is boring , it’s mean she’s comfortable e ought to entertain herself . More like she enjoy her own company .. I don’t understand why people are dismissing her feelings doesn’t make sense one bit .
Delete@15.32😳😳😳
ReplyDeletePerson wey get head no get cap and the that has cap no get head to put am...pity 😥
ReplyDelete@15.32😳😳😳
ReplyDeleteThe poster have no problems,just for an understanding man to understand her and know her love language..
ReplyDeleteIf na eatries,the man should go to the market and come and prepare same type with girl right in the kitchen,wana play games bring the hangover home...clubs? Turn thr room to clubs,its fun...outside is over rated
See my twin sister o
ReplyDeleteUnless I'm going out to hustle, going out is a HUGE something for me o
Poster,love might make you compromise a little Sha,that's if you are into the guy.
@poster, people won't get you but that's okay. Relationships are about COMPROMISE. He met you an introvert, he shouldn't expect a drastic change. However, as compromises go, you also need to make an effort...2-3x/week, calm, non obtrusive places that won't make you overly uncomfortable and please, DON'T let your insecurities be a Boone to the relationship.
ReplyDeleteStella and other BV's diagnosing anxiety disorder please calm down. I'm an indoor person too and I understand where you are coming from poster, rather than listening to people suggesting you better go out this and that, I think the honest truth is that you should find someone with a little more drive than you but not this your outgoing boyfriend, you will not be able to sustain the relationship on the long run! It's OK to be who you are, maybe compromise a little but seeing your bf or going out 6 times in a week is crazy and not sensible!
ReplyDeleteDress up and follow your bobo out jor
ReplyDelete6x a week is much, I am like you too but I notice when I meet someone I love, I become a wakanda if he is the type that loves to go out. Try and relax a little, start one at a time. Say yes even when it's a no. You will get it right. We plenty.
ReplyDeleteChaiii!!l want this kind of guy.oh God of the booless...let my husband locate me before the end of August. 🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteGo out 6 times a week? You'd be worn out especially if your job ain't flexible.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong with the poster, I hate to go out too.
ReplyDeletePoster go out,meet people,loosen up,make friends,what are u people even enjoying inside the house seff🙄?who inside house help?? Abeg go out and have a social life.U can talk to him to reduce the outings a bit o,but go out and have fun please.
ReplyDeleteI'm an indoor person too and I literally go out only when I consider it necessary. If you force me you just dey waste your time. A lot of times I prefer staying indoors with my woman(I'm single now though). I cherish my space and privacy alot. I'll suggest you find your kind and work with what works for you.
ReplyDeleteI thought I am the only one in this situation, I only goes out for work in the morning come back in the evening, any other extra movement hmmm na my bed I dey. Find it difficult to dress up for parties, movies, visiting etc
ReplyDeleteThis poster is exactly like me. I don't enjoy putting like I enjoy talking and laughing indoor, excerpt it's work or business. I'd rather stay indoor than go out.
ReplyDeletePoster, your situation is not uncommon. In fact , it could have been me writing the story up there. I am someone who has no problem staying indoors and enjoying myself (that is my default setting). Then I met this amazing guy who is an outdoorsy person. It is easier for an indoors person to adapt to an outdoors person's lifestyle than an outdoors person to adapt to an indoors person lifestyle. If you try to keep them indoors, it is like caging them.
ReplyDeleteAlso, most people who don't mind staying indoors tend to like their space a lot. But the reverse is the case for outdoorsy people. They want to be with/around you 24/7. So,I find creative ways to have some 'me' time. If the issue is a deal breaker for you, let him go and don't bother reading what comes after this sentence.
But if you can find some compromise (more on your part) you will discover there are a thousand new things and memories that come from being flexible. You don't need to plan the outing, they handle that. All they really want is someone to share those experiences with. You will be glad you did.
P.S. It is normal to be uncomfortable with the unfamiliar at first. Good luck in your decision.
It gets tiring though if one person’s the only one planning all the time. It’ll sometimes make the outgoing person feel like he or she is forcing you to go out all the time. I’m an outdoor person and hubby is an Introvert. What I ended up doing is meet new folks (mostly women), and just go out with them. Whenever hubby wants to come with me then no problem. I’m drained from begging someone to go out all the time. We lose interest after sometime. Poster just jejely find an indoor person like you that match your energy. Or better still, work on your mental health if you’re depressed. Depressed folks tend to withdraw from social life and stay indoor.
DeletePoster that means you do not like or have feelings for this guy. If you love him this will not be ab issue all you need to do is to come our of your shell and start hanging out with him.
ReplyDeleteYou can start like three times a week abd see how it goes, I love indoor but not when I have someone I am in love with around me.
Go out, catch some fun and get back home.