I don't know why some sister in laws are from hell. My husband was their meal ticket, he married very late. 2 ladies left him before he married me. I prayed very well and fasted before marrying him and God clearly gave me the go ahead three times.
They did wedding recently (you bvs told me to travel with my months old baby, which I did with my children and husband). This wicked sister in law likes commanding my husband who is almost 50 years old. The sister in law said I must travel to where they are to come and cook first before travelling back to another state for the wedding and reception . They went to cook in their elder sisters(her daughter is the one doing wedding) place in another state before they came the next day for the wedding. The wedding was during work day.
My husband told them I won't be able to Join them for cooking in another state then come back to another state for wedding cause of our children especially a breastfeeding baby and even the stress of taking care of the children . This elder sister said never that I must join them to cook o. Well, I never went to that state to cook because I was already tired from travelling to the main state for the wedding. We all saw the next day at the wedding but the sister was so annoyed with me. I even went to meet them at the serving point but none gave me face and I observed how the family wore same colour of material including their children and those from very far places while my children, husband and I wore a different material (same is the same with outsiders).
My husband told them that it was in the olden days husband's family treat women as slaves by cooking and doing plenty chores during family party that I wont partake in any activities again. She now said my husband has changed while the elder brother ( whose wife, co senior wife caused wahala then) called my husband stupid that why wont i partake in any family activities again but I went to apologize to husbands family that I couldn't come to cook because of my children, I never knew she still had me in mind.
She (my husband's elder sister) now went to report me to my dad's younger brother. He started abusing me not knowing this woman lied against me (heaven bears me witness). For my husband and one of his sisters to be supporting me, then you know I wasn't rude. What if I was working? Do they expect me to leave my place of work for two days just for a wedding?
Now my dad's brother is very annoyed with me not wanting to hear my own part but just shutting me up and telling me to apologise to my husband's elder sister for no offence of mine. Husband tried talking but he also shut him up totally. They said we shall see in December for a meeting but I will not go, never. Will stay in my place and tell them I am now working so no free day.
This people like using me as slave. If you all remember ,I sent a chronicle back then about how my husband's elders brothers wife used me as a slave and even abused me on top of my hard work during her daughter's introduction. This wicked co wife told me to go give their neighbour sticks and remains of vegetable for their goats while all her children were inside doing nothing. I used my hand to pick dirt in their compound ,washed plates and did plenty, plenty (wrote this two times because i really worked,chai)chores till I was tired. Yet, no words of thank you from this co wife but fight and accusations . Now we went to another wedding of the daughters elder sister and they fought me all because I didn't come to cook in their place in another state before going for wedding the next day in another state with little children!
Thank God this my husband's elder sister has 3 daughters. Very rude and proud. Teenage and early twenties .They have never opened their mouth to greet me before while I am in my forties. Their mother is expecting me to be calling them aunty lagbaja, thats why her daughters are so mean and rude to me..........Galatians 6:7 says you reap what you sow.
I have told my husband, I won't go for any of their event again, even if i will, i will go that day and come back that day. I am not a slave to marriage. I hope and pray this job gets through, maybe I will leave their brother for them. Enough of such slave and entitlement mentality. Such has never happened to my mum and i never witnessed this rubbish from my parents side, never!
I also observe that some people will fight or hate me without reason .I also had a dream years back where a mark was seen on my forehead....it was a spider sign. I have prayed, done deliverance but I know God is on the throne. Please I need matured advice on how to tackle this on going brouhaha because they still have plenty females to do introduction and wedding.
How do I overcome these in law wahala. I don't trust them again . Deep hatred was all I saw even among their children during the wedding. I can't sleep again, I am always sad and afraid now. I even sent this in the middle of the night.
I was told to apologize to hubby's elder sister but I am yet to do so because I never offended her. Should I apologize (which way can I go about it so I wont t look like a fool or doormat to her?) OR I should just bone her side?
I even went visit their mother, bought few things for her, gave money to my husband to give her mother but I am not still being appreciated.
Let me know your truthful opinion on these issue and how bv's in my shoes overcame their in law wahala! Thanks
*Hmmm it even got worse?
My dear, since you cannot fight a whole family, please for the sake of peace, just apologize and move on. You can still decide to avoid them at events but just apologize for whatever it is you did/didn't do.
It is good that your hubby supports you but this also puts him in a difficult position.... If it was me i would apologize and keep apologizing but they will never see my smile again...I will be so nice they will leave me alone.
Omo better stand ur ground nd stay far away from them. Cn u imagine. Becos u marry their brother so make u turn slave. Apologize and stay far from dem.
ReplyDeleteDon’t you have a life? Sit in your house woman… They don’t like you, yet you are at every function. Sit in your home and let them fear you. PS: I am married and I made sure hubby and I are far from home. So sit in your home
DeleteI agree with this. Poster please avoid them. You don't have to go for their events..avoid them as much as you can. Don't expose your children to such hatred.
DeleteYou have children and husband, this situation only happens once maybe a year, why not just cooperate and have peace. Do whatever you can in life to have peace, yes a slave but you go home happy and sleep at night, is this situation better than you had gone to cook and no fight. How will they be happy with you when you did not join them to work for the good of others. They will think you are proud and can attack you even spiritually. Right or Wrong, apologize and dont do it again. Stop comparing yourself to their children. One day you will need them to help you too, your own children will get married or you will celebrate, it is life, whatever you sow you reap. No one is happy to be treated this way but if it is for peace for your husband and family pls just behave like a blind person and move on. Your uncle is not wrong to tell you to appologise, do that and then listen to the elders in your own family on how to live this life, they know more than you. PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE TELLING YOU TO IGNORE THEM. THEY WILL LICK THE DUST OF THEIR HUSBAND PEOPLE JUST TO KEEP THEIR MARRIAGE.
DeleteMy dear, do not apologize, because your apology will make no difference. They hate you and nothing you do will ever appease them.
DeleteIgnore them and their events completely. Don't go, don't call. Just keep praying fervently, they will soon learn that you're not their slave but their sister in-law and should be treated as one.
If you even cross paths with them in the future, just greet them with a straight face and move on. Don't go smiling with them or trying to familiarize with them. This will put them in their place, trust me.
If you do otherwise by apologizing and attending their various family events, they would continue to treat you the way they are doing now, it would even be worse then, because their children will join them in humiliating you, seeing now that they are already warming up to do so. It's only a matter of time.
Ignore them completely and never you try to explain your absence or distance from them for any reason. You owe them no explanation or apology. You have tried to be cordial with them but they don't appreciate it. Only be in communication with the one who is defending you now, aside her, ignore the rest of them.
I have been praying midnight prayers oooh. Serious firing and calling her name in prayers also.
DeleteMy dad's younger brother called me today after seeking another person's opinion (maybe God is answering my prayers, never believed he could call) and told me to be prayerful.
I wont go for their family function again for some time, i will give it time but if i will go for a big event like wedding and not introduction,my decision still stands, I will go that very day ,leave and i will never taste anything because i dont trust them again.
I will apologize since my dad's younger brother has told me to do so, after that will never call her again.
I will be prayerful than ever before!
Thank you all, May God bless you...Amen
Amin 17:26, you can equally treat your sis in-law like they treated her?
DeleteA nursing mum of(very young children) traveling up&down for ceremony (Cooking) is not a good omen, Do you know how children behave in such atmosphere?
Because she will need their help during her chidren wedding now, she should over stress herself?
In my family, when our sisters and sis in-law have baby/ young children 1-10years, we expect you attend functions close to your area, without involving in any manner of stressful activities.
That's why some mother's miss happenings in town during this period because the stress of handling babies, toddlers in an event settings will drain all your strength.
Dear poster avoid them, we women she learn not to throw their family and friends to the trash because we have another family (Husband families), when they don't want to be accommodating your friends and family will fill in the space.
I beg relocate!! Useless set of in laws. Mine tried it with me. My husband warned them vehemently. Imagine the senior brothers wife kwa. Heeeey I weak!!
DeleteStella's advice is on point! Apologize this time, avoid their parties next time, go on d-day if you will and return to your base or hotel, do not show them your teeth again but be nice, service them with your eyes very well.
DeleteYou have two strategies:
Delete1) Weaken them with kindness & love. It may lead to low self esteem if not done carefully
2) Go mute on them. Let them know the feeling is mutual when they see you ghosting then. This may equally lead to bigger issues that may linger into generations.
All the best
Stay away from the family. They don't wish you well. Even if you apologize, they would still plan bad against you.
ReplyDeletePoster you are even lucky your husband is on your side. My own case my husband is a proper mumy's boy. That was how they were using me to do house girl. Things I don't do in my father's house I was doing for in-law still I was labelled a bad wife. Omo nobody told me to bone all of them including my so called mother in law. Now anytime we meet at family gatherings na "hello/hi" levels. Afterall I'm still a bad wife so let me claim the title.
Delete😂😂😂 @ let me claim the title.
DeletePoster I agree with Stella, apologise then stop going near them. That's pure wisdom
DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU DID NOT DO. Bone them ,face front,and feign sickness not to attend any of their ocassions again
ReplyDeleteNa wa...naija marriage can be so brutal
ReplyDeleteYou are in the midst of a spiritual quagmire. If you are not solidly in Christ,
ReplyDeleteyou will soon face their avalanche.
The battle line is only drawn. Love in Christ will conquer. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
What a large family brouhaha.
ReplyDeleteBefore I got to the part you said aunty lagabja I already knew you are Yoruba na we dey get this kind plenty wahala.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your husband is on your side but ma'am the truth is you are the only one that can deliver yourself from them. No be fight, if they have function attend and just be you, but I don't get why your sil will report you to your Uncle yet he didn't give you and your hubby listening ear.
And what most of them do, they cant tolerate it. See my mil has no wahala but sils even though they are nice, loves my children buy them festive clothes and orisiirisi they still have their little wahala.
My hubby is the first child of his mum, fil had two wives and mil is the second wife. The first child of fil is a woman and married this woman will tell me to call her children aunty and brother 😂😂😂my husband said since she has married into another family I owe her children no prefix to their name whatsoever, but she didn't stop o anytime there's family gathering she will call me and said call me your iya oko aunty lagbaja SMH the oldest of her children is in Yr2 but I no dey kukuma do pass myself before so nobody can bully me.
See my hubby's younger sisters, no 3and 4 cos hubby's immediate is a man also. See these two, hmmm when the no 3 gave birth an issue Happened when we were planning for the naming cos none of her husband siblings live in our state of residence, that was how she told me ' edakun e dake' meaning pls keep quiet, and she went ahead to say I should leave her presence hubby was there o he asked me to be patient with her that maybe cos of labour trauma 😆😆😆no wahala na, the next day I didn't go to her house till the day we were to go to the market so I went with the younger sister who's No4. That incident out a strain on our relationship but eventually we moved pass it. This happened last yr.
My mum in law wanted to try that aunty/uncle ish with me, I cleared her politely o, told her I can't. I told her this girl she is insinuating I call aunty (I'm 6 years older than her) can't even call me by my name, out of respect.
DeleteThat was the first and last time she suggested that! There are some nonsense I won't chop in the name of marriage.
I called my sisters-inlaw, even the ones ten years younger than me "aunty" when we lived with them, to let peace reign, they were my husband's step sisters. Now, I'm very far from them and we hardly see. His sisters from his mum are well behaved.
DeleteI didn't allow myself to be used as a slave the few times I attended their ceremonies. I did little things, hubby was there, he would come around and tell them to manage me like that because I was ajebutter and not used to too much work. When they complained about other things, he told them it was because I was not Yoruba, they should manage me like that😁😁😁. When we get home after the occasion, we would laugh and laugh.
Later, he started attending their ceremonies alone when we moved, giving them excuses.
Your story no get bearing sha. lol
DeleteBy the way, it's not only yorubas who do this, igbos do too, depends on family not tribe. I will find energy to type my chronicle for you guys soon
My own sister in-law say I shld not call her sister lagbaja, dats the name on everyone's lips when I met her(her other siblings, including parents call her by her first name with sister , occasionally de mention iya lagbaja) she say I shld address her as mummy(her child's name) I shook my head, yoruba culture and respect, hian
DeleteThe major problem is not many men are present in your husband’s family. The women clearly don’t warm up to you.
ReplyDeleteThings are already strained between you and your troublesome inlaws so generally, I ‘d advice you to stay polite, apologise and view them as flawed humans.
You don’t seem to have the audacity to battle them so I suggest you kill them with apologies.
The hands you give people are what they will forever use to treat/follow you..
ReplyDeleteI'm an advocate for peace,but instead of peace to reign while I'm hurting and in pains;let the war keep going..
I wont apologize,neither will I attend any of their events ever again,let everyone in that family know me as that stubborn inlaw..
I cant start what I cant finish and peace will never reign at the detriment of my wife(in this case)..
The way they married you;is it not same rite that was done for your co-wife??
Una dey try;I no fit..I'm a peace maker but I cant do this cos tomorrow your co-wife and inlaw will do more than this and expect more apologies from you..
You self is this why you are crying? Stand your ground;respect most times is not earned but forced down their throats
@MARTINS
Odogwu nwoke!✔
Delete🙌🙌
God bless you!
DeleteMay it be well with you o Martins. Iyawo, if you don't want to keep apologizing, LOCK UP!
DeleteMadam @Amebo,i dey greet Jare..
DeleteA lot of people mistake "Respect" or "Calmness" for Fear..
I no dey talk no mean say you go try any nonsense with my wife no matter the bond you think we share..
How can an innocent woman be pressed because she choose to be calm? is it pussycat that gave birth to her?? 😂😂
Ndewo nú umunne mm..
I only fear God,while I respect every human;be you who there are things I can never bend for or tolerate..
Who dey Zuzu???? 😀😀😀
@MARTINS
Honestly I don’t know why people are telling her to apologize, if you have never been in this situation you won’t understand. Don’t go about trying to please them by apologizing for what you ddnt do and then get hbp
DeleteMartins one carton of beer for you whether you drink or not. Madam poster take this martins advice honestly. Cos I can't imagine in this age and time this kind of thing is still happening. Kilode just relax don't be scared of them.
DeleteGod bless you! I tried years of sucking up to my inlaws. It got worse and it was always fault finding from my husband's elder sis and their mom.When I was pushed to the wall, I started doing the opposite. Made myself scarce, stopped all the shopping and cooking. Cut off completely and faced my career, no visits, no calls. I NEVER apologized even when my husband pressured me to. When they heard of my doings,na them pick phone dey find me. Today, I feign the fake friendship but I still keep my distance. Kpomkwem!
DeleteStella that your advice ehn, I fit'nt can't ooo
ReplyDeletePoster for wisdom for you...you really need a lot of wisdom to deal with these people ah ah, it's your children that I am afraid of, innocent children
I pray you get out of this country to another country entirely because for as long as you're here... It's well
Just ignore them totally!
Pray for GOD to guide you
DeleteFrustrated people looking for others to frustrate
Bullies everywhere
This is my life experience, at first my hubby thought they love n care for him,I'll beg,no way.they are eight in number, they all will come visiting wt their families, I will be d one cooking alone, still I didn't satisfy them,tho, guyman loved me shia,they went diabolical, my hubby will see me n run,its a long story, I left d marriage, he started suffering it,d same family deserted him,they've been on malice over three years...so poster, see those species of human,are insatiable, no matter hw u try,just get busy make money n be prayerful, nhm get why
ReplyDeleteThey just want their brother back as the meal ticket that he is. In my sisters case they made her even run mad, the mother in law told her to her face that she will die if she doesn’t leave her son alone. The sisters burnt her certificate that their only brother is not done training their children yet , that it’s only after this that they will find a wife for him by themselves. Her mother had to go take her daughter when she heard that her daughter woke up mad, months later the mother died, 6 years counting her madness comes once in a while. I can’t type abeg the story plenty
DeleteTo type these days dey hard me. Let me try
ReplyDeleteDear beautiful and lovely Chronicle poster, first of all let me start by saying, it's well with ur humble soul.
U see this life is too short and precious to waste it on queer minds. From ur narrative i guess u are married into a yoruba family.
Sometime ago, smtin slightly similar happened to my sister, i advised her to do as they said, especially since the husband is in support of their actions, then go on her knees to pray unto God to pay her back in her own coin. She did exactly that, the woman started seeing the same thing she was putting my sister through. Later she realized that nemesis is real, and came back and apologized stylishly it was not up to 4months she died, we shedded a tear for her bcoz she ammended her ways and sought for peace.
If ur husband approves for u to apologise pls do so, don't apologise without ur husband's approval or consent. Then Go to God in prayer(if u are a Christian) and tell God to pay them pack in their own coin. Especially the hot head. She will be busy solving problems without having time to scheme evil against u.
Take it easy, u are not a slave but a queen, act like one.
Don't apologise to anybody and it be nice you stand your ground..What's wrong with them? Ah ah!
ReplyDeleteContinuation Stella pls post.
ReplyDeleteSometimes around May this yr, I was to attend an interview in a nearby state it's a journey of 3hrs and I have a toddler and hubby is not in town, I got the mail around 2pm and it's for 10am the next day so I called hubby and he told me to let my first sleep over in her house as his school is not far from her and tell my No 5sil to travel with me, I called this my No3 sil before I left home to help me tell the sil to prepare, I got there and saw that one unprepared i asked if she was not told she was surprised she said she wasn't told anything, I asked No3 sil she said ehn she didn't hear me properly on phone 🙆🙆I was already boiling cos time was going, ok Aunty lagbaja prepare let's get going, I dropped my fist child's bag and explained to their last i.e youngest sil( they live with her cos we lost mil too, and the last 2 are still in Uni. The family agreed they stay with her as staying with me even though we own our house may bring issue so to avoid all these u didn't wash plate, you didn't dispose bin they decided it's best they stay with their sister, so hubby and his immediate brother supported had husband with house rent. Initially, they were in a room and parlour self con. But now they got a 3 bedroom cos of the girls.)
She started saying to her sister, so you want to travel mockingly, where are you going now, I went out and left my bad inside with my phone cos I was already angry with the attitude she was displaying, she told the younger sister to go and prepare dinner thy one replied her that's spaghetti and when it's time the youngest will cook it, she still no gree o ok, while we were at that the weather changed and everywhere was so cloudy, and she started that what kind of job is it that I am even going, that I better don't disturb myself and leave it till the next day that I can leave home very early that abi am blind to see that it wants to rain😳😳😳omo na there I mad for her ooo, I insulted ehn told her she's just being selfish she doesn't want the girl to follow me as she's the one who help her with her child, cooking and all, she does nothing since those girls move dto her place. Omo no be small insult we give each other correct gbas gbos.
We just started talking this month when I called her on her baby's birthday, even when I go pick my fist from her house after school but just greet her I stopped entering her flat, she got tire she will start asking me about business et all.
I went for the interview but I wasn't called back, I told hubby his sister doesn't wish me well cos how can I tell you about a job when you all know how passionate I am about getting a good job and all you could do was mock it.
The no 4 that was telling me to be calling their last born aunty got married, cos her sil told her to be calling her mummy 😂😂she stopped going to her place, I told my hubby you see life why is it difficult for her to do? Awon oniranu
Hahahahahahahhahahaha interesting read.... let me try to post both together cos some might not understand it
DeleteErmm from my understanding, you were leaving your child with your sil and you wanted another sil to still follow you to your interview...why is that. You sound very entitled. Are they your slaves?.
DeleteShe should call her own sister in law mummy na. 😂
DeleteAbeg mummy I can’t laugh o 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAbeg me like you na your type fit them. Everyone should be entitled together.
DeletePoster apologise this last time, then mind your business afterwards, stop bending o er backwards to please them.
ReplyDeleteIf possible, fake an excuse to not attend their events, stay as far away from them as you can since your husband is not doing a good job of defending You. You only live once, they are not feeding you so why stress yourself this much trying to please them?
I don't even know what to say to you. I'm tired of this kind of wickedness. I doubt if I can swallow it.
ReplyDeleteAsk God for wisdom and ask your mother of advice. You need personal experience adviser. This war might not end today. Keep your husband close and make sure both of you are on same page..
I won't attend their gathering for a long time. I shall dress gorgeously. Go with my own food for my children and go home when I tire. I will certainly greet them and call once In a while.
May God help you. 💜
This is really complicated and deep🤔
ReplyDeleteMy sil is facing this same issue because her mil my wicked Aunty won’t give her peace and her co wife who is married to my cousin doesn’t greet her but will send her children to come and stay in her house abeg make it make sense you don’t greet someone but you send your children to do holiday in her house.
ReplyDeleteI told my sil I support her 100% because at the weekend they had a party for my uncle who is the fil come and see drama, my sil changed it for them I told her I support her 100% because they are all mad!!! I don’t and can’t support evil!
Family war why una dey marry sef I don’t understand it oo
DeletePoster I beg u,go and apologize o.
ReplyDeleteYoruba adage says”Ebè la bè osika,kojè ka ro ona ló”
If u apologize,it won’t reduce anything for ur body.
It’s you that will now set ur boundaries.
Some of our Yoruba in-law are from pit of hell.Thank God them no go diabolical on ur hubby.
Have u heard of mother in-law that will be saying it’s what she tells her sons to do that they will do.
Poster, apologize to her.
ReplyDeleteI wish your husband would start attending their ceremonies alone and give them excuses why you can't come. If they see less of you, their nonsense will reduce.
That is what we did in my own case.
Even calls, I stopped calling them, after a long time, they started greeting me when they call hubby.
I'm glad your husband supports you. Pls pray well. Also, inform your mum or a senior aunt that you are close to, to pray with you.
Once you marry a bread winner, you don buy market. No be Yoruba in-laws again. Madam, don’t go anywhere. Face the job you are looking for. You can’t fix hatred caused by jealousy.
ReplyDeletePeople can be so selfish & mean
DeleteSo your brother shouldn't marry till 60?
Kai
Dear poster, you've already said the problem. Your husband was their meal ticket. There's almost nothing you'll do short of being a slave that will make them happy. As far as apology goes, salutation is not respect.Please apologize and do as you have said. Also be prayerful because I no sure say na open eye your hubby take use leave 3 girls.
ReplyDeleteI'm a child victim of all you have said and I watched my mum go through same. I'm igbo
Just apologize and move on poster..it's well with you
ReplyDeleteApologize and have innee peace and move on
ReplyDeleteWho does communal wife cooking in this day and age?! Apologize for the last time before you put any plan into action. Avoid their events as much as you can. Go on the evening or the day of the ceremony and leave on the say day or the next morning. Only go when your husband is there. Whatever they say just tolerate them. if you are strong, tough and consistent with this(no shaking) and your husband backs your actions up. Don't also expect help from if you have a ceremony. Dem go just talk and talk. Na dem go tire. I am talking from a 24 year experience. Make sure you also pray to cover your family
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not easy. Try and apologize for peace to reign. You can't say you won't attend their functions because you will also have functions that they will attend. Just don't go to every function. Be a little bit scarce. But keep calling them with different excuse or excuses and be professing deep regret on why you can't attend. Then the ones you can't possibly miss, you attend and do whatever you can for the function it's not forever, it's only for a period of time. Don't kill anybody with kindness. Stay on your lane as much as possible. Above all, be very prayerful.
ReplyDeletePART ONE
ReplyDeleteBefore I got to the part you said aunty lagabja I already knew you are Yoruba na we dey get this kind plenty wahala.
I'm glad your husband is on your side but ma'am the truth is you are the only one that can deliver yourself from them. No be fight, if they have function attend and just be you, but I don't get why your sil will report you to your Uncle yet he didn't give you and your hubby listening ear.
And what most of them do, they cant tolerate it. See my mil has no wahala but sils even though they are nice, loves my children buy them festive clothes and orisiirisi they still have their little wahala.
My hubby is the first child of his mum, fil had two wives and mil is the second wife. The first child of fil is a woman and married this woman will tell me to call her children aunty and brother ������my husband said since she has married into another family I owe her children no prefix to their name whatsoever, but she didn't stop o anytime there's family gathering she will call me and said call me your iya oko aunty lagbaja SMH the oldest of her children is in Yr2 but I no dey kukuma do pass myself before so nobody can bully me.
See my hubby's younger sisters, no 3and 4 cos hubby's immediate is a man also. See these two, hmmm when the no 3 gave birth an issue Happened when we were planning for the naming cos none of her husband siblings live in our state of residence, that was how she told me ' edakun e dake' meaning pls keep quiet, and she went ahead to say I should leave her presence hubby was there o he asked me to be patient with her that maybe cos of labour trauma ������no wahala na, the next day I didn't go to her house till the day we were to go to the market so I went with the younger sister who's No4. That incident out a strain on our relationship but eventually we moved pass it. This happened last yr.
PART TWO
ReplyDeleteSometimes around May this yr, I was to attend an interview in a nearby state it's a journey of 3hrs and I have a toddler and hubby is not in town, I got the mail around 2pm and it's for 10am the next day so I called hubby and he told me to let my first sleep over in her house as his school is not far from her and tell my No 5sil to travel with me, I called this my No3 sil before I left home to help me tell the sil to prepare, I got there and saw that one unprepared i asked if she was not told she was surprised she said she wasn't told anything, I asked No3 sil she said ehn she didn't hear me properly on phone ����I was already boiling cos time was going, ok Aunty lagbaja prepare let's get going, I dropped my fist child's bag and explained to their last i.e youngest sil( they live with her cos we lost mil too, and the last 2 are still in Uni. The family agreed they stay with her as staying with me even though we own our house may bring issue so to avoid all these u didn't wash plate, you didn't dispose bin they decided it's best they stay with their sister, so hubby and his immediate brother supported had husband with house rent. Initially, they were in a room and parlour self con. But now they got a 3 bedroom cos of the girls.)
She started saying to her sister, so you want to travel mockingly, where are you going now, I went out and left my bad inside with my phone cos I was already angry with the attitude she was displaying, she told the younger sister to go and prepare dinner thy one replied her that's spaghetti and when it's time the youngest will cook it, she still no gree o ok, while we were at that the weather changed and everywhere was so cloudy, and she started that what kind of job is it that I am even going, that I better don't disturb myself and leave it till the next day that I can leave home very early that abi am blind to see that it wants to rain������omo na there I mad for her ooo, I insulted ehn told her she's just being selfish she doesn't want the girl to follow me as she's the one who help her with her child, cooking and all, she does nothing since those girls move dto her place. Omo no be small insult we give each other correct gbas gbos.
We just started talking this month when I called her on her baby's birthday, even when I go pick my fist from her house after school but just greet her I stopped entering her flat, she got tire she will start asking me about business et all.
I went for the interview but I wasn't called back, I told hubby his sister doesn't wish me well cos how can I tell you about a job when you all know how passionate I am about getting a good job and all you could do was mock it.
The no 4 that was telling me to be calling their last born aunty got married, cos her sil told her to be calling her mummy ����she stopped going to her place, I told my hubby you see life why is it difficult for her to do? Awon oniranu
Dear Poster, please apologize for the very LAST TIME. Not for peace' sake o (because your in-laws have already chosen vawulence) BUT for the record. You don't know if your "uncle isonu" and SIL dey on top level so, beware and watch your back. Call/go to your uncle's wife in private and state your case. Na she go reset her husband akamu brain.
ReplyDeleteAfter this last apology, anytime they have a function and your husband buys aso-ebi, collect it and go and keep it with a trusted friend/tailor with the instruction not to sew it. On D-day, tell your husband your tailor disappointed you and you don't want to be the "odd" one out. Keep collecting their aso-ebi, promise to attend but don't go. Your husband should be repping your household henceforth. Na dem go tire. They will label you a proud witch but na dem get their mouth. Kill them with "respect", greeting and politeness BUT do what's in your mind. However, when you attend other people's parties, slay, snap and update your WhatsApp status, FB or IG. Nobody has the monopoly of madness and they are about to find out only if you get liver sha. This one wey you no fit sleep again because of coven members disguising as in-laws. Mtscheew.
When your children leave the university (or shortly before then), join a nice social club and be active in church or mosque and people will attend your parties whether your in-laws are there or not. Who wicked in-laws epp?
Get busy. Take a vocational course if a paid job isn't in sight and get busy. Nobody respects a "lazy/idle" wife. Connect with a friend who sells something you can market and start posting on your status/timeline. Martins has posted about affiliate marketing and drop shipping countless times on this platform. Go and read it and get busy. It's something you can do from the comfort of your home while breastfeeding a baby. All you need is a smartphone. No stress.
Then be prayerful. Don't lose guard spiritually. If you still have parents, update them and ask them to join you in prayers. It's very mkpa-scious.
This is 2021 and many Yoruba families have moved on from the "hanty, iya oko, baba oko" drama. Theirs must be a very local and backward clan. I married a Yoruba man and his immediate younger [married] sister who introduced me to this blog is my 5&6 that I call by her first name because I am older than my husband. No issues. No stress. You probably started out trying to "impress" them with how slavishly you can work and this is the result but who says you can't change the narrative again? You started what you couldn't finish but it's time to "finish it" like a queen. Now, FINISH IT! Looking forward to your next update- hopefully a nice one. Kizzes😘.
Amebo you have too much sense. Chop kisses abeg 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteOshe maami, gbayii🙌🙌🙌🙌.
Delete☑️☑️☑️☑️☑️☑️
DeleteFor your family's sake, cut them off politely
ReplyDeletePlease poster stay in your lane.Dont go for any event anymore.See finish syndrome.Some inlaws are from hell.
ReplyDeleteMy dear stay for your house. Apologising upandan won't end trust me not with this kind of people. Dey your lane hence forth no attend any of their function anymore let that be your hubby"s job. Make you no go die unto say you marry. Their brother dem love am too much na e still remain as e dey? Madam put on your prayer amour going forward cos those people are household enemies.
ReplyDeletePoster apologize,after that face your front. It is not all the weddings you will attend,pick the ones to.
ReplyDeleteStand your ground , please don't allow anyone enslave you or put you down.
Find all possible means to avoid them, once in a blue moon you pick up your phone to greet them and lock up after that.
Poor people, na their way...better start working and getting busy.
ReplyDeletePoster apologize,after that face your front. It is not all the weddings you will attend,pick the ones to.
ReplyDeleteStand your ground , please don't allow anyone enslave you or put you down.
Find all possible means to avoid them, once in a blue moon you pick up your phone to greet them and lock up after that.
Please don't leave your husband because of this. He's on your side, that's something. Secondly, be very prayerful. It's obvious there's nothing you do that will please them. So, keep being yourself. If you want to attend a family function, do so. If you don't want to, don't. Care less about what they say and keep on watching and praying - especially for your marriage and home. Apologize if you want to, and move on. I've also had to apologise to a sister-in-law that offended me greatly. But, since then, even she noticed that our relationship isn't as tight as before. I initially took her as my very own sister, but now I'm keeping my distance, even though we're cordial with each other. You'll be fine. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePoster sit down in your house ! Sit down in your house let your house be enough for you. The mistake you made in the beginning was sweeping, cleaning , cooking . Going all out to seek their validation .In such situation, wisdom is profitable to direct . You already apologized ... keep it moving . Whenever there is a function go same day and come back same day . Greet them , congratulate whoever is celebrating and go sit down with your kids . They will talk whether you slave away your destiny or not . They must talk . You can’t win them over again . As my mum will say “ anything you start in marriage especially with your in laws continue” . If you are used to gifting or rendering your time you must continue . The day you stop wahala go dey .Especially if it is something they are used to . Don’t start what you can finish .
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, you already have house hold enemies,my sister in law lived with her brother for 15 years and vowed openly to my face that no woman will make her live her brother house, I took in an all hell was let loose, it's as if it was a crime I got pregnant, go on your knees, apologize but don't ever let them enslave you like how they enslaved their brother,I used Mountain of Fire books especially the Prayer of Jehu, our God is a mighty God,they have started confessing openly,some that tried to kill me while pregnant confessed and died mysteriously,am being labeled a witch, because I always fight people in my dream and kill them,they started attacking hubby's health, I stood in the gap and his bouncing today they stay clear, they don't invite my family for their occasion we don't bloody care,who God has set free is free indeed,the major reason they treated me shabbily was I wasn't the lazy type and I didn't align with them spiritually, they were used to going to fetish churches that engaged in demonic assignment, I attend my Mountain of Fire,and winners chapel,I rock my money as it pleases me, they were the lazy house wives,old spinsters who looked at being married as poverty alleviation program.
DeleteBabe close the door for all of them , similar situation when I newly got married, imagine born and bred up in Ibadan, .i am from comfortable family Nd they want me to do stupid chores , want to to call babies aunty, infact instructed me to call my husband dady. I close it for all of them, ready to become single mum, now I am on my own , my husband has borrowed himself sense , realised no one cares except me Nd the children . I have spoken to some of them close to 10years , who care?. Even his mother fought me to point of death. This are people I send goods with my money 3x in a year from UK.I blocked all those rubbish . Now they realised I M a good wife.
ReplyDeleteInlaws and their wahala,poster,realise that you can't please everyone,apologize,use wisdom and put yourself and husband first.
ReplyDeleteJust give them a fake apology for peace to reign.
ReplyDeleteBut after this male sure you don'tale yourself available to them in any way.
Just like you said you will lie to th you now work and have no free day, continue like that. Always ignore them. They ahead at you cos you arrived their money bag amd he is no more in their full control.
My sister,yours is worse cos how can a man of 50 years not have a voice.i DNT get it.cut them off and don't apologise,they will never be satisfied
ReplyDeleteI still am trying to process how a woman whose baby is one month old should go cook in one state and come back to another state for wedding plus other children. We need to fear God in this part of the world. This is really unfair.
ReplyDeleteEven carrying a baby that young up and down is not ideal.
Don't mind them, mother herself is not strong enough, talk more of the newly born, &t in-laws will protect their own children oooo.
DeletePoster no too de put eye down for them, na eye dem see them de March any how.
My husband eldest sister wanted to try such with me, but when im going to the family house, with my makeup and perfume and aura, to ask me to bring cup sef, yu go fear
Who has time fr radarada cos I marry
The one of north dey their body
ReplyDeleteLeave matter
The rivalries and gossip no be here
Due to polygamy there are even more mother in-laws, siblings and other human drama