Dr Freaks Journal - When Poverty Breeds Creativity

Hilarious!

Recently, I posted some of my pictures on my IG page wherein I was wearing a mock "military fatigue" (fret not, I will not stray into Oshodi or Obalende) and some friends have innocently reached out to me privately to advise me not to hit the street with same.. 

In any event, it is just like every or any other cloth here in Porto Novo, just for your information and I won't even bring same anywhere near the borders of "Oshodi" and "Obalende" or "Seme Border".


That is how badly damaged the psyche of an average Nigerian has become. A story for another day. Just for the record, my only regret in life is not joining any of the armed forces, so leave me let me enjoy my "camo" here in Porto Novo oh.


Anyway, that is not the meat of my story.


Rewind....


As I wore my "camo" yesterday and was walking down the road, my mind raced back to a story which a friend shared with me over some bottles years back.


In the "days of struggle," my good friend was staying with his uncle, a soldier at Ikeja Cantonment and he had this other cousin, a highly cerebral professor who then lectured at the University of Lagos. He hadn't seen this uncle in years and whenever uncle visited my friend's mother in the village he would ask after him and instruct the mother to direct the son to pay him a visit. 

The idea of paying Prof a visit did not sit well with my friend but since the generalissimo had commanded, he had no choice other than to obey the last order. He eventually agreed to visit, but he had a challenge here. He had no good pairs of shoes. He had just one pair of "palm sandals" and I think a pair of "drivers shoes" that was crying for salvation from purgatory. An ingenious idea sprang up! Bravo! He decided to wear his uncle's army boot, but there was a challenge. His size was 44, but uncle's size was 42.


Poverty bred creativity in him and he elected to soak the pair of boots overnight, after all, they were made from leather and they would naturally expand. Lo and behold, it was dawn, and later joy cometh in the morning! The boots had actually expanded and he managed to "polish" same in that terrible state and in due course he faced his uncle's coveted abode. Luckily enough, on arrival he sighted his Volvo 240 and Citroën parked around the neighbourhood and to him that signaled his availability.


He majestically marched towards the door in his now shrinking boots, remember how he attained the expansion status. Uncle ushered him in but quickly reminded him to take off his boots, for he was standing on "holy" ground and the story of Moses made sense to him for the first time! He had no choice. He did as instructed and few hours later it was time to go home after all the pep talks and admonitions. Uncle walked him to the door, bade him goodbye but forgot to "bless his ministry." He had no dime in his pocket as he had even borrowed the exact money that took him to that place.


Wait for the bad news.

 Having gisted for over 4 hours, by the time my friend would return to his "boot park," the two demons had returned to their original state -size 42! 

He quietly held them close to his chest and walked down to the gate where he said he met some good Samaritans who gave him money to buy a pair of bathroom slippers and he "strolled" back to Ikeja.


To the glory of God, today, my good friend is a successful legal practitioner.

Stay Safe...

It's Kunle