CHRONICLES OF A MARRIED MAN - 34

It is what it is.......

“I have to pay school fees now. My Children will not be allowed to resume school if I don’t pay their fees. I can’t pay you now till I settle that”

That has been my boss’ response I often hear from time to time. I have been doing some private jobs with him over the years and sometimes he would delay payments because he wants to pay his children’s fees for that school term.

Whenever I am caught with such response from him, especially when I have to pay the workers that executed the job with me; I get upset especially in my earlier years working with him.

 These days I know better. For him, at such point in time, paying his children’s school is number one priority over payment of workers’ salary not caring if the same workers also have their own bills to pay too.


Before now, he used to pay over 2million naira per term as school fees. That amount has obviously increased since his first son recently got admission to one of the most expensive private university in the country and studying one of the most expensive courses. I would often have the discussion about school fees with him from time to time and like most parents, you would see how important it is to him.


In one of such discussions, he told me “make sure you build a house before your children get to the secondary school, especially as a fixed salary earner, else it will be very difficult for you afterwards because you will be caught up in the school fees web”. There might be some truth to his advice but I personally think it doesn’t really matter anyway as long as you keep increasing your sources of income.

While he was complaining about fees on one occasion, I asked him “why do you have to put your children in such expensive schools when you can get to pay less and also get the same or even better quality of education for less fees?” He gave a very interesting answer


“Sending your children to school is more than just for learning. The kind of children your child interacts with and meet during their school days will become their so called “connections” in the future. The quality of connections your child will get in school will affect their future as much as the education they acquire. When your children attend A-list schools, it will affect their world view of things beyond just learning because of the type of children they meet in school”, he concluded.


He made me understand that your children are most likely going to marry, do business and other form of life activities from the friends they made during their school days. So, he wants to give his children the option of choosing from the best in the society. Imagine being a classmate with Aliko Dangote or Tony Elumelu’s children during your school days.


When I thought about it, it made lots of sense. But then, such mindset about education comes with a lot of cost; and if and when you can’t afford such cost, there lies in the problem. I have seen people who go into panic mood when the school term resumes. A colleague of mine rotates between two offshore locations while spending barely less than two days at home monthly in order to meet up financial obligations of his children studying in Canada. As someone who pays lots of people’s fees aside my children’s, I understand the financial burden that school fees can place on parents.

Even in times like during the Christmas holidays and festivities, we are always quick to remind ourselves to spend wisely because “school fees dey come for January” and the cycle never ends till the children graduates from the higher institution. This is why it becomes very heart-breaking when after spending such huge amount of monies educating children, to see them sitting at home due to joblessness.


This week, I am asking my fellow married men. How have you been coping with the school fees? What’s your school fees survival strategy? How do you create the balance and still able to “dey enjoy life as wahala nor dey finish”?


Let me share my own survival strategy. But then, we should all understand that people earn differently so what works for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B and our life circumstances are different. Also, sending children to expensive schools doesn’t guarantee a better or more secured future even if they make the best “connections”. I attended public school from primary school and all the way through to the university but I turned out better.


First, I don’t follow the crowd. My children attend a relatively cheap school not because I can’t afford the expensive ones but because I considered lot more other factors than just the school fees. Also, I have always been a “team home-lesson” as I believe having a good home lesson teacher will compensate for lots of knowledge gap which may not be covered in school. I also consider other factors like proximity to my house, the age of the child, the school environment, how my wife will cope with the school runs and other activities, and so on… If paying 250k for a child in crèche is what you can afford and suits your program; by all means go for it.


Second, learn to have an education fund for your children. I remember how eight years ago; some First Bank insurance marketers came to our office to sell insurance policies to staff. Even though I reluctantly started a children education fund then after the persistent “disturbance”. It was one of the best decisions I have made in my life. That education fund is in the million today. The money has become of sort of safety net for me now incase thing should go south,



Lastly, I can’t overstress this on a weekly basis. Learn to “paddle your own canoe”. We had to bailout a friend of ours last week for school fees. It wasn’t a nice experience seeing him in that state. Let’s learn to live within our means. For those of us with children, paying fees is a constant and inevitable activity that we do. Let’s learn to plan for and make provisions for it. 

Let’s stop this habit of making it look like an emergency; like you didn’t know you were going to pay fees, like it just happened. I understand the economic state of the country right now and lots of parents are really sacrificing to ensure their children get the best education they can afford but then learn to cut your coat according to the material.

Time to go…


Ciao!