STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY
Hello Stella.
Thank you for this platform.
I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now and over the years, I've seen him change from a non chalant person to a overly caring person.
I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now and over the years, I've seen him change from a non chalant person to a overly caring person.
He involves me in anything he does, includes me in his future, spoils me (Got me an iPhone 12 pro max as an anniversary gift), unfollowed all the girls he follows on instagram because I complained about it.
Well, we had a misunderstanding 1 week ago and he unfollowed me on instagram and followed back those girls he unfollowed. I just deleted his contacts from my phone and decided to move on as I felt really bad.
He deleted my contact too as I was no longer seeing his display photo.
Few days later, I got a message "hello" from him (He had already saved back my contact as I could see his DP now). I didn't feel the need to reply..so I ignored.
Maybe, I would have replied if he hadn't followed back those girls but each time i think about that it breaks me.
What should I do?
You did not tell us what led to the fight but he unfollowed you and followed back those Ladies to hurt you... you should stay calm and reply his Hello to hear what he has to say....Why are you monitoring his social media handles and telling him who to follow and unfollow? This is so wrong and kills a relationship faster than anything...... You see that he used what he thinks will hurt you most to lash out? that is why you should behave as if you really dont care who he follows or unfollows you hear? Unfollowing them did not mean he was not in their inbox ir viewing their pages so your anger holds no water.
Reply his message
Answer him first nau!
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs don't make a right.
Hmmm i dnt know wat to say.
DeletePlease just finish your JSS
DeleteYou still have SSS and JAMB.
Road still far o.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delete16:29, you well so, hehehe. You just made me laugh very hard. So she's in JSS 3 ba? Kai! Bvs ooo! Lol.
DeleteYou are either in your late teens or very early twenties. Both of you behaved really childish. Anyway, since you are still in love with him, swallow your pride and respond to his message. Stop hurting yourself over silly things.
DeleteRoad still far oh. You go mature with time.
These ones haven't seen anything in life. Fresh lovers.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, Ike guru
DeleteI dey tell you, una still dey honeymoon stage.
Deletegist us your story
DeleteNo be small thing
DeleteFollow Stella's advice abeg
ReplyDeleteAt least, now you've seen that if he is a womanizer, he hasn't changed, will not change, except he personally decides to.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you reply his hello, but don't be in a hurry to go back to him. Keep an open mind and pray for God to give you your own man.
They never broke up officially just ego/misunderstanding. They will be alright.
DeleteThe guy loves you, check yourself and see if your insecurity is affecting your relationship.
Jechix, he only followed the ladies back to hurt her. She did not say he was dating them and went back to dating them after their misunderstanding. I don't think following ladies on social media makes a man a womanizer. If we are to reverse it, it means ladies following men on social media are whores.
DeleteWetin even concern her with who he follows on social media? Which kind monitoring spirit be this one?
She should better work on her emotions and insecurities oh! If not she will just set herself up for future heartaches.
Don't even know what to type for you cuz this ur chronicle is half baked.
ReplyDeleteTell us the truth so we can forget ahead from there.
Sounds like her insecurity got the best of her. Dear poster, rule 1 of being in a happy relationship is to validate and love yourself 1st. Don't look outside you for your partner to validate you to feel valued because u will be disappointed. Also if u don't validate urself and love yourself and feel yourself worthy, you can't expect other people to value you. Always focus on your self and his love will come naturally. If u focus on him, then he focuses on himself too. It's really that simple!
DeleteAlso pls stop telling ur man who to follow or like, stop stalking his social media likes and comments. It is a turnoff, it's unattractive and breeds mistrust. Noone likes someone that lacks confidence. If ur not confident in urself n believe that he loves u passionately, then how do you expect him to believe it as well? and if u go looking for something, then u will create a reality in which u find what ur looking for. U already created a reality in which a once nonchalant mean guy turned into a lover boy just 4 you because u were unattached to the outcome. and now your poor self belief and negative self talk and insecurity is about to turn him back into a mean guy. The success of this relationship lies in your ability to control your mind. The more u want ur chase someone or something the father they will run away.
Umu azi chronicles. No advice for you
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteNawa o! Most people are really insecure sha and i grab.
ReplyDeleteI think it be nice you would have replied him to see what's up with him now but there shouldn't be anything stopping you from messaging him right??
A very loving relationship turn sour because of a misunderstanding? The two of you are not truly committed at heart, you are just riding on feelings alone.
ReplyDeleteIn an healthy relationship, when your partner hurts you, your next step won't definitely be to hurt the person back. In a genuinely committed relationship, a misunderstanding doesn't lead to blacking out on each other.
If your feelings for each other is genuine, reply his message. You guys need to sit down and talk it out. Accept your own fault in the issue and let him know what he did that hurts you. Come to an agreement that if truly you want to have a future together, lashing out when hurt is not the way to go, if not overtime your relationship will get toxic.
Really, I don't understand why people find it difficult to communicate in their relationship and understand each other.
Wise words.
DeleteReply his messages, complaining about who he follows on Instagram will not stop him from cheating.
ReplyDeleteConfusion reigning supreme.
ReplyDeleteDear poster..that guy is unstable,you better RUN!!!he will leave you high and dry at some point for months and return back as if nothing happens!then continue the lovey dovey love again,buys you anything you want and goes off again!! It never ends well,I have been there,he will drain you emotionally.. gather the courage and block him everywhere,count your loss and move on
ReplyDeleteAll the best
Run for what exactly?even husband and wife fight.
DeleteThey should both sit down and settle the misunderstanding.Not every time run,run haba
Run? See bad advice. You people comment like you've never been in a relationship before. This is what causes young girls to act in insecure and outlandish cold ways that they end up regretting n spoil the relationship Totally . Poster if u still want this man in ur heart of hearts, then don't break up with him because u will feel bad about it later n it may be too late. I say talk n to him. If u know ur done with him then u can walk.
DeleteUnfortunately u are wrong, Paris. What you are doing is called projecting the failure of your relationship unto this lady without even knowing how the dynamics n details of this relationship differ from your past relationship. Maybe this guy loves poster more than ur guy loved you. Maybe they r both immature. Or maybe that guy was a bad omen for you. We dunno. So u predicting doom into it is unfair.
DeleteAlso the married happy couples of today that u see n tap into will never disclose that they had many fights n trials before getting to their happiness because like you, everyone wants to paint themselves as perfect or as a strong bitch that takes no shit from a man or as a lady that no guy has ever hurt. Whereas we all have had occasions of simping, being mumu or hurting a man..
Poster listen to this advise at your own risk. Instead of dumping every guy at the slightest fight, why not work on the inadequacy u feel within ur own self that makes u so insecure that watching who ur partner likes is ur biggest problem in life. It's not cute or normal. He has a lot of work to do on himself but so do you. If u don't do the work and u dump him without doing so, u will encounter the same issues with another guy.
DeleteLol. Paris, you just projected your past relationship into this one and used the actions of your ex to judge this guy. It's less than a week and the guy reached out to the girl already. Shows he loves her.
DeleteShe should work on her insecurities and have a heart to heart talk with the guy on how to handle disputes. Both of them acted immature in my opinion.
This relationship of a thing ehn, one has to be very wise, if not, you might miss out on getting married to a good man or enter one chance.
ReplyDeletePoster, don't shut him out yet. Listen to what he has to say and tell him how you feel about what he did. His response will determine if he still cares.
I'm telling you. I'm learning this day by day as an older lady in my late twenties. I suggest therapy and prayer for the kinds of things because what causes fast angry reactions n spoils relationships is past hidden childhood traumas that one hasn't unboxed yet
DeleteTrue. Most people have lost their better half due to strong head and pride.
DeleteFights happen in any relationship. Just answer him and resume from where you guys stopped if you both are ready to work it out
ReplyDeleteA relationship of two years broken because of a fight 1 week ago??? The both of you are childish & immature. Why unfollow your partner of 2 years because of a fight? Instead of you both to find each other & apologise, and see what can be made right, you're both waiting for the other person to make the first move. The both of you are not ready.
ReplyDeleteNot saying it is right. But it happens
DeleteNne talk to him please.
ReplyDeleteThis type of behavior isn't healthy for you both.
You have to stop controlling a man they hates it.
Take your eyes off some certain things and play smart for what you want.wish you good luck
True true. I dont see any wrong In a guy liking pics because that is what the button is for. Better a guy does that in the open than hiding to dm those girls. By focusing on those girls and controlling him not to like them, it will make him want to like them and dm them the more. U can't control a man by telling him what to do. Show him ur confident n those girls mean nothing to you and he will mirror that in his actions. U don't get annoyed when he likes his friend's pics do you?? Ok then see those girls as his friends that he can never be attracted to. If ur making a mountain out of a mole hill it means that u don't have confidence or feel that ur not as beautiful as those girls and subconsciously he will start to believe it too. Stay blessed
DeleteYou are more unstable than this guy. That guy should be happy that he is free from your manipulation. Yes, that is what it is. Only an insecure and manipulative person will control who a person follows on Instagram.
ReplyDeleteI don't have to advice cos u don't have a problem na, he messaged you, respond.
ReplyDeleteI don't have to advise cos u don't have a problem na, he messaged you, respond.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Male ego is also very volatile. Doesn't mean u will be a doll or dumb or beg him or take any nonsense. But go about ur own life and give him space to cool off and let him do the initiation of contact
ReplyDeleteWhy are u even bothered if he is liking girls pics? It seems u feel like they are better than u in some way or u don't have trust in your guy. Cause if u did, this won't be a problem. Do u not enjoy other guys liking ur pics? Do u not like other guys pics? . Aunty, like button was made for tapping so ur causing urself unnecessary stress monitoring and controlling a man's movement. Watching ur partner's comments n likes is like digging your own grave o. Better don't kill yasef because the more u focus on the likes the more he will be liking the pics. Stop stalking his female followers and focus on your own life
ReplyDeleteIf Him following back girls Is what broke you, then u might as well not continue with the relationship cus that nigga has too much control over you and he knows. I can assure that those girls mean nothing to him but he knows it will get an emotional reaction out of you that's why he did it. When a guy knows what will hurt you, he uses it as a weapon against you. Instead of you to harmlessly follow hotter muscular guys n start liking their pics too. Let me tell u something, most guys are playing a game to see how much control they have over you n if u react then they win. U either walk away quietly or u stay n act unphased.
ReplyDeleteHe already know she lacks confidence and self esteem. He will continue to use it against her until she steps up and work on herself or better still move the hell on. And what are you guys doing self after a two year relationship? Are y’all talking marriage? What’s your future plan with him? Poster’s worried about who he follows on IG. You’re not ready for the real deal abeg.
DeleteWhat sort of monitoring spirit and low self worth sh*t is this?? How long do you think you can monitor who he talks to and follow on IG? You’ll be so so drained and even drag yourself down into low self esteem. Poster get a life and work seriously on yourself. Improve yourself and make money! Get active, socialize, pray for confidence. Stop focusing on what a man with flesh and blood just like you do every second and min. You’re annoying abeg. And learn how to communicate your feelings instead of shutting down like a little girl. Lack of emotional maturity/ maturity is worrying both of you🙄
ReplyDeleteNa small pikin dey worry two of una
ReplyDelete