Where you are from in Nigeria, are these Items too much or too little?
Saturday, June 19, 2021
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I am from Akwa Ibom state.
ReplyDeleteThose items 👆 are too much.
The family were I come from, we don't sell our daughters.
Stupid thinking. Who says it’s selling their daughter? When Queen of Sheba went to see Solomon, she took gifts. Was she buying him? When Solomon sacrificed a thousand cattle to God was He trying to buy God?
DeleteIf you cherish something, you express it by giving gifts. Whether it’s to the parents that birthed your wife to be or giving your friends and loved ones gifts, the Bible says a mans gifts makes a way.
Be wise and stop talking nonsense. The items brought in a traditional marriage is meant to signal your love and appreciation for the people. When they give you the list, that is their expectation. Try and surpass it.
If you can’t marry a woman, don’t attempt it. That’s why people get into marriages where the man cannot provide
This one na better lie. I sabi two guys way don marry from your state, see better billing. Maybe na cos say dem na outsiders, but the bill una give them na wickedness.
Delete@anon 14:57 first of, Queen of Sheba brought the items to pay homage willingly, she wasn't given an erroneous list of things to bring. In most cases, these thing is wickedness. I'm igbo and if I have my way, I'll insist that my husband should just get my father's permission that's all. It's things like this that bring forth statements like 'afterall I paid your bride price, I own you, I married you with my money...and so on' pure nonsense.
DeleteIf you insist on adding monetary value to your girl child just to get her married then quit using that as a yard stick against her. Allow your in-laws bring what they can and even if they're buoyant enough to afford your so-called frivolities, have some self respect.
She will still cheat, someone wey already get sidecock
DeleteThis must be Igbo marriage! I am Igbo, marriage in our place is not just for the immediate family, but for the community. They believe that it takes a village to raise a child, so the same community should eat from what they raised. That said, they don't force people to do this, they only give you the list, then you do the much you can and promise them that you can't finish marriage in one day, some who are rich do everything. Then again, it depends on which Igbo state, I know Anambra people don't demand so much. Imo state is the most expensive in terms of bride price, especially Mbaise. I guess (not sure) that explains why Igbo men wait until they make money before they start talking about marriage.
DeleteSolomon and Sheba's relatives didn't haggle over the items and he didn't give Sheba a list so I don't think a bride PRICE is a gift.
DeleteYes, men should be able to provide but poor men and women also get married so why issue lists that make their early years of matrimony difficult just so that greedy relatives, who are also poor and ought to understand better, can rob them?
If ur guy buys u a Porsche, do u complain and tell him he's trying to buy u? Those things there are not even the entire package. I didn't see cloth and the various things meant specially for parents; and then again, money on top. Mbaise brides def don't come cheap; but they stick it out in marriage and are invaluable partners.
DeleteIf you have money as in money, those things are nothing.
DeleteThis must be before Buhari's regime, if you mandate a prospective in-law to bring all means now it means you wants your daughter to become'Nna ga alu'
ReplyDelete* to bring all these*
Delete😃😃😃😃😃
DeleteIs this marriage items or IDP camp donation
DeleteItems listed by hungry and poverty stricken in laws. After all these they still expect their son in law to feed them and look after their daughter. My opinion.
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily hungry families. Is the villagers who share the item. In some cases, some rich families even add to it, to hype their in-laws. If you don’t have as listed, do as you can. They will give you their daughter, but you will be seen as a poor in-law. In fact, some rich suitors do more than provided on the list.
DeleteThat's true @anon 15:53, some good families do not allow this madness. I am Igbo, in my place they demand a lot, but when my sister was getting married, my brother helped our in-laws to bring down the demands, he even bought some of the things that my in-laws omitted with his own money. It all depends on three factors, 1. the family, 2. the groom, 3. your bargaining power. It does not mean that poor people don't get married in my place. After all okada riders, petty traders, carpenters, etc., cannot afford all these, yet they are all married! So it all comes down to negotiation, whatever you can negotiate with your in-laws or your bargaining power. On the other hand, some rich guys go all out to do it and even more, just for the love they have for their bride.
DeleteAm from Edo these items are for 4 brides
ReplyDeleteFrom Edo State too. Even too much for 20 brides!
DeleteEdo state no get wahala
Delete4 brides ke?
Delete@olomo olomo you're right.
All the yam wey them bring for me,my sisters and cousins no reach this one.
The girl must be gold o
ReplyDeleteThis one small compared to where l come from. I did not see gallon of groundnut oil and box or asin filled with wrappers and other items for the girls mother. Fish is not on our list but if you buy for those greedy umunna. They will collect and use it as criteria when the next girl wants to marry.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you from? 🤭
DeleteShe is from IMO state
DeleteBut gbogbo rubbish yi o necestry now..them wan open shop ni?
ReplyDeleteHmm mm🙆🙆🙆
ReplyDeleteList different from each state. This is not Igbo list
ReplyDeleteThis is too much. Do the family want to start foodstuffs business? Infact, it is not possible in this Buhari regime.
ReplyDeleteIf I marry your daughter with all these items, non of you family members should pass near the street we live in. Infact, walk by three streets away.😁
ReplyDeleteYou think it's all family members that come to collect?. Some come to give you
DeleteYou guys keep rejecting correction. The list is not from her family, the village has its list. They share the items and give the family a portion. Stella help us find out how Igbos say farewell to their daughters after wedding. We call It Idu uno. My family has given daughters cars, fridges and freezers, cookers, and other house wares. In the end, none of the families make gains. It is a give and take thing. Your in-law can decide to help you later. But as for the list, it does not change the financial position of the woman’s family.
ReplyDeleteI married from Lagos state and I did more than this self..
ReplyDeleteThe girl parents ehnnn. The use me shine shaaa and Las Las the marriage scatter..
Thanks to the parents and her
The lord is your strength bro, just move on with your life
DeleteThis is normal bride price.
ReplyDeleteNormal ke?
DeleteI am Ghanaian, so about 75+% of our bride-price list items are for the bride.
ReplyDeleteBible/Quran; Hymn book; Kente, wax print; lace fabrics; watch(es); handbags; shoes; jewellery set(s); perfume; underwear; money for her wedding dress etc. We don't do perishable items (like food), but drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) are a standard.
Monetary value is not attached to the items that are to be presented, so I have been to some traditional engagements were the men brought Chopard watches, Boodles jewellery, Joel & Sons fabrics...and I have also been to some were the men brought Carvela shoes, Fossil watches and Shloer drinks.
The only thing plenty there is the yam. But then again, that’s like 30-50k worth so if that’s everything on the list, it’s not much at all.
ReplyDeleteAt worst , everything in that picture is 200k. To me, it’s not too much.
I wonder o.
DeleteStella this is exactly what they tasked my hubby but it was my mother's plan.she told them to double the list so after every every she go take one part and give the women the other part but unfortunately abi fortunately the women refused and said they'll share equally..Kai my mama do me strong thing,thank God for the love my hubby has for me,e for run.when I found out,I cried but never let hubby and his pple find out.sonetimes to do something for her they hard me if I remember this incidence.
ReplyDeleteYou n this your comment,I believe you have it typed already, you just paste it ni...anyway forget it n move on, they can only chop u once
DeleteThank God your husband had the money to spend. Man wey go run go run. Just forgive her and move. May God give you beautiful children who will make you proud.
DeleteThis bride price stuff is one reason most Nigerian men don't have regard for their wives.
ReplyDeleteNigerian women want it to continue yet claim for equality in their marriages- how can you be equal with the person who paid a "price" to marry you?
The age long adage says it all: He who pays the Piper dictate the tune.
No bride price is mentioned in the New Testament of the Bible.
The English, Americans,and 95% of Europe countries we always use as yardsticks for good standards do not demand bride prices.
But as typically Nigerian, we believe that money is the only measurement of value until after it has been spent or displayed or given. Then we find out that there is always more than money in life matters.
This comment is neither here nor there.
DeleteBride price is part of a traditional marriage. Why mention the Bible, English, Americans and 95% of Europe when talking about a traditional marriage? It’s alien to them.
Quite dense.
And the wedding gown you wore or plan to wear on your wedding day is whose tradition?
DeleteInsults don't strengthen a submission.
You only supported the point made - clinging to an outdated tradition.
Abeg this your comment no follow.
DeleteAside from the wedding at Cana, is there any mention of the sort of marriage we are discussing here in the New Testament? Meanwhile in the Old Testament when Isaac was to marry, gifts were presented to his wife Rebecca and her family, if I'm not mistaken. In the Western nations u speak of, the bride's family, traditionally foots a greater part of the wedding bills. Not that I see why u shd be looking to emulate another person's culture and leave ur own. One party or the other or both, make sacrifices in the matter of marriage - it's supposed to be a journey of love which u are expected to do willingly, as no one is pointing a gun to ur head over it. In Igboland, the groom may be given a long list but the bride herself is usually sent off to her new home with even more expensive gifts like cars, houses, furniture items and whatever she and her husband may need to start their marital life. U do what ur pocket can afford, as u see fit. It's not a quarrel.
DeleteNo girl in Nigeria is worth all these. Haba! Even the ones that yahoo boys have stolen their destiny or the ones university lecturers used for fringe benefits. We know
ReplyDelete...maybe these are to appease the gods of some people's belly.
ReplyDeleteYou see why some persons in some states don't want to get married?...the sacrifice is just too much!!!...for those that can't afford their bride price,I hope you know that you can take a loan from heritage bank??...abi,are they not connected to people's heritage?....😁
this list oozes of the igbo tribe, I'm igbo so i know, the list can be very creepy, but in the end it's all tradition ...but this list is a function of your relationship and understanding with your in-laws. it can be reviewed and trimmed down to your financial power.
ReplyDeletebut lists like these can discourage a man...hahahaha omooo we need we imbue the fear of God in all that we do :D
ReplyDelete