Another 'must read' from Dr Freak!
As parents, once our children reach a certain stage/age in life, I think the most honourable thing is to come to terms with the harsh reality that those dudes are now individuals and they actually have their own different identities and lives to live.
As much as I admit the fact that it is the bounden duty of parents and or guardians to guide and guard their children and wards through life, parents and guardians would save themselves some measure of headache and high blood pressure associated diseases if they quickly come to terms with this stark reality of life.
Baba Agric loved to dress well and he invested a quarter of his fortune in good wearing apparel. He travelled as far as Ibadan to patronize "Good Wear Apparels" (one of the household names in bespoke suits and safaris for more than 5 decades.) His supply ranged from the old "Baba Osomaalo" Ajiloore -the Ijesha-born "roving" textile magnate who traversed the length and breadth of the old Western Region with his wares.
I was later informed by my late Mum that most of, if not all his children schooled and lived abroad at the time. The last time he came calling in 1991, he was in his 80s and he was still selling textile in around the six (6) South Western States. He was good man!
1984:
I had just gained admission into Christ's School Ado-Ekiti (Form 1, and not JSS because I was given admission to study for five years until Prof Fafunwa introduced his evil 6-3-3-4 system in our third year) and my immediate elder brother -"Y" was in Form 4. Baba Agric bought a grey textile (wool material for safari) from his customer -Baba Ajiloore and he was magnanimous enough to have bought enough material for himself, me and my brother "Y".
1984:
I had just gained admission into Christ's School Ado-Ekiti (Form 1, and not JSS because I was given admission to study for five years until Prof Fafunwa introduced his evil 6-3-3-4 system in our third year) and my immediate elder brother -"Y" was in Form 4. Baba Agric bought a grey textile (wool material for safari) from his customer -Baba Ajiloore and he was magnanimous enough to have bought enough material for himself, me and my brother "Y".
Usually, Baba Agric would have sent the material to his tailor in Ibadan ("Good Wear") but a cousin of his, a "London trained tailor" had just moved back to Nigeria from England and having advertised his "skills" to him (foreign one at that) he had no choice other than to patronize his London trained cousin.
Pure sentiments!
That was a learning curve for me in my discovery of where sentiment works and doesn't work. Well, Baba Agric drove the two (2) of us down to his cousin's house. He took our measurements meticulously and at the end of the exercise, we were "truly" convinced that he was trained in London! I think it took him two weeks to complete the task. How we dreamt of our London safaris!
The night prior to the D-Day, we slept in snatches and in between our sleep "day-dreamed" about how we would all look princely and grand in that apparel that was made by a "London trained tailor."
Behold the D-Day came and my cousin delivered our safaris! We could not wait to test those priceless apparel. "Y" was the faster one, the one who would unwrap his gift before anyone else. I was the indifferent one. I could conceal my emotions and that's why many may still not be able to gauge my mood on most occasions.
Cousin sewed and attached "suspenders" to our trousers and gave us the ugliest set of safaris we had ever seen in our lives. Were we supposed to tuck the safari inside our trousers? I'm still wondering. Baba Agric was infuriated to the extent that he threatened to return the clothes and demanded a refund but for the timely intervention of Mama R.O who prevailed on him to shelve the idea. He grudgingly let it slide.
Behold the D-Day came and my cousin delivered our safaris! We could not wait to test those priceless apparel. "Y" was the faster one, the one who would unwrap his gift before anyone else. I was the indifferent one. I could conceal my emotions and that's why many may still not be able to gauge my mood on most occasions.
Cousin sewed and attached "suspenders" to our trousers and gave us the ugliest set of safaris we had ever seen in our lives. Were we supposed to tuck the safari inside our trousers? I'm still wondering. Baba Agric was infuriated to the extent that he threatened to return the clothes and demanded a refund but for the timely intervention of Mama R.O who prevailed on him to shelve the idea. He grudgingly let it slide.
Interestingly, that was the last time Baba Agric ever indulged in the habit of choosing tailors for us. In any event, "Y" who was already in Form 4 at the time discovered good tailors in and around the State and interestingly, he became my clothier for the next twelve (12) years of my life.
The moral of my story.
▪︎Business and sentiments never mix.
The moral of my story.
▪︎Business and sentiments never mix.
▪︎Once your child or ward comes of age, stop playing superman or batman in every facet of their lives. A degree of independence will not hurt, hun? At least a 12-year-old and above should have a say (if not his way) in respect of what he or she puts on. As a child, each time I was forced to wear what I did not like, my confidence dropped. Guess what, kids of nowadays are even more sensitive and more conscious.
▪︎Hear this! I'm never moved by paper CVs. Practise what you preach.
Stay safe.
It's Kunle!
*I totally agree with you but it is easier said than done...
I am always having clashes now with my Bambinos cos of my always wanting to force food and clothes on them or control play station time and all...these things used to be easy but all of a sudden they want it their way and i am too shocked to accept that these boys are slowly growing into men who must have their identity and say... I have been so active in their lives but now they have told me to back off...chei!!!
That was how my lil boy of 8, told me not to choose a hair style for him o.
ReplyDeleteNotnรฑรฑ
Mine, at age 5 now will be telling me the clothes he wants to stop wearing, that he doesn't want his friends laughing at him. The matter de tire me sometimes
DeleteI understand this perfectly because my son that is just 6 don dey show color. It is well. This writeup reminds me of papiluwe(aluwe) " London tailor e don com to your area , london tailor putuputuputuputu....." Interesting read as usual.
ReplyDeleteLol. Stella, then kindly back off. Haha. Thank you Kunle. Nice one as usual.
ReplyDeleteThis is true but very hard to let off.
ReplyDeleteChildren of these days are more sensitive. My 2 years plus daughter rejected a particular Ankara gown that I so much love, yesterday, she was not so playful all through our stay in my shop, immediately we got home, the first thing she said was "mom, I want to off my cloth". I was really sorry for forcing her to wear it.
ReplyDeleteA 12 year old boy is still a juvenile and has got a lot of learning to do.
ReplyDeleteMy experience is that when Christ is not in a child's life and training,
all those "do and do not" do not work for long. They get quickly eroded by
peer pressures and exposure. What is lacking to aid discipline is the fear of
the Lord which is only gotten by persistent study of the Bible and admonitions
in those formative earlier years.
As such as they are juveniles, what Kunle is trying to say is that, they are beginning to have a sense of self-worth at that age, as a parent all you can do is to give them a lee way to discover themselves, make their own mistakes and learn from them. You are doing them no good by enforcing your own will on them. The training you gave them from age 0-12, should have build and instilled something in them. And as Parents, the only you raise children is by living an exemplary life.
Delete9 out 0f 10 times, children turn out bad because of bad parenting.
Please... just... honestly...GOSH!!!!!!
Delete17.13 I agree with you by parents living an exemplary lives. Children learn from what they see not by what they are told
ReplyDelete๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ sincerely I had a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteSir you are good!
Children of nowadays eeh, so so assertive and strong willed.
You have to be more firm and more strong willed to have them give in!
Such a lovely piece, as usual!
My 6 year old won’t kiss me anymore at the school gate he says mummy my friends will laugh at me. I tell him if he doesn’t kiss me I’m not his friend anymore so he comes back to kiss me then wipes it off๐
ReplyDelete