This post will introduce you to how some men think when they meet a woman....
First Man - Do not marry a Jobless woman out of pity, let her get a Job and be settled financially before you marry her. Women like this become liability in Marriage.
Second Man - If you meet a good woman without a day Job, dont let that stop you from marrying her.. Marry her and set her in anyway you can help her stand on her feet. Not everyone must be met ready made.
Which of these mindset is yours? or which do you support?
It's the second statement for me.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a woman having her own money biko. It is sweet.
DeleteThe second because he will have my back if I can't things aren't working out.
DeleteI also support him because he isn't saying she shouldn't work, he is even willing to set me up in whatever profession I desire to pursue.
I am not saying you shouldn't look for an independent woman, but if you find a good one who isn't stable, wife her and help her out (If you can afford it)
The first man is my mindset but I support both. Nothing wrong with either of them.
ReplyDeleteThere is always something wrong with the 2nd biko. Don't help her stand anything jor. Woman, find your two legs b4 marriage. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. We hate it when a woman is asked to marry a jobless man and set him on his feet. You can't be a "helped" partner and expect to be equal or better than your "helper".
DeleteTo avoid a boss-subordinate situation in marriage, both should come into the marriage ready in all aspects of their lives.
I support comment unlike some who sees nothing wrong in being jobless, later accuse men of domineering
DeleteI disagree, Saphire. Partners can help each other find their feet, it ain’t just about women. No marriage should ever be a boss-subordinate situation, it’s a union not a hierarchy.
DeleteIt’s easy to say “be equal” but we all know that’s not the reality not even close, so nothing wrong with 2nd.
Good to see Prexy and I disagree for once.
DeleteNne, marriage should be 1 + 1= 1 not 1 whole and a half. It's the union of two wholes. Marriage is healthier when the two whole unite to build. The respect is mutual and the friendship is stronger. I am talking from my experience. When a man chooses to stay far from women who have found stability but choose to pick up a young girl he would rather "help", we always know why.
There are a lot of men who arent domineering even when they are providers, some even make collective decisions with thier wives even when she's not contributing financially.
DeleteI think it all boils down to ones mind set and how he or she decides to make thier marriage work.
Every woman should have a job that brings in money please. We are not second class citizens and it is not a taboo if we make money and support our family to.
ReplyDeleteI support the 2nd man 👨
ReplyDeleteBoth are correct 👌
Woman: make sure u have a job, no matter how small before going into any relationship. You cannot be requesting for money for every single thing u want to buy. You want panties, u can't get one by yourself, you want pad, u have to ask partner for money.
ReplyDeleteMakes u a total liability
ReplyDeletePardon me to say this.
Most Igbo men I know go for the second statement.
Before they go into marriage they make sure they are financial stable.
They don't mind the woman's financial status sometimes.
It's either they set you up for business or be giving you allowance.
But as a woman make sure you have a means of income in case....
I like Igbo men.
DeleteI don't think a self made man usually check about a woman's financial strength before marrying them. This is not to say, a woman should be jobless before going into marriage. Most men married and will marry for beauty and character seen in a woman. Any man marrying a woman cos of her financial strength alone is nothing than a fuck boy.
ReplyDeleteIt's women on the other hand that usually want a financially stable men for marriage, and I won't fault them on that, since culture made it in a way that a man should be the provider of the home. This is not to say we don't have women who are fuckingly wealthy on their own that are willing to settle with a guy who's not made yet financially.
So for me, I will say, marry a woman with a prospect even if she's jobless. Tomorrow is always bright with a spouse with a good prospect.
Gbam!!...
DeleteTeejay loud it for men at the back.
Deletewell said
DeleteNice one Ezege✌️
DeleteSo on point Teejay 👍
DeleteHonestly sir, your comments in this blog are always 90% true and I hail you for that. Your comment is actually the truth.
DeleteWell said
DeleteThanks for the compliment @18:28. I'm encouraged.
DeleteIf most men reason like teejay we'll have less problems in marriage like we have currently..As for the "woke/ pick me/ faux independent women " They are a bigger problem here.. they pretend like they don't enjoy chivalry but indirectly ask for it with lame examples like " you know as a modern woman we don't know how to ask for help but you can just assist us anyway without us mentioning or asking" lf it's not an issue then you should just enjoy it without complaints
DeleteBoth statement is okay.. whichever that works for you👍👍
ReplyDeleteI support both even though I would advice women to be financially independent before marriage. If you come marry okoro like me, Oyo is your case.
ReplyDeletethe man is the head of the home and the provider so must by all means have a job and a house even if it is just a room, start from there. a woman must also have something doing so you can support your husband. even if you dont have a job yet, sell something to at least be able to buy maggi or salt for the house. support your husband, stop asking for money for everything.
ReplyDeleteExactly... You are in order.
Delete@Baby oku
DeleteSome men don't see themselves as the head or provider .
They think both gender are equal in everything.
Why you see some men doing competition with women.
Kudos to the real men.
The first man for me. Every woman should have something doing before going into marriage. It is very very important for the woman. There are some rubbish a woman will not allow in marriage because she is financially stable. Some women stay put in bad marriage because they don't have any source of income.
ReplyDeleteForget that second man. Some men will promise their women heaven and earth before marriage, but after the wedding, they refuse to establish their wives.
Women should have something doing before thinking of marriage.
My mindset is the first one but both are fine. A woman needs to have her own source of income, no matter how little, before settling with a man. The man can add to it if he wants (second man)
ReplyDelete@ Cynthia Iyede
DeleteThis topic I think is for men.
Marriage is not the end of the world....a woman can still get a job while married. I go with the second statement.
ReplyDeleteThe first man for me. Very important for me. Right from when I was little, asking has always been an issue for me. So, it's a must for me
ReplyDeleteMajority of women that has something doing are single as fuck!..
ReplyDeleteThey only attract gigolos and fuck boys that has only prick to offer!...
I'm not saying you shouldn't work as a single woman but hide your income from these men and lay low..
So many useless,good for nothing guys everywhere looking for a working class women to leech on!..
Stop playing miss independent!!..
Tax that man!!..
Any man you give sex must always assist you financially!!..
As an igbo woman,I'm raising my sons not to be an infidel!..
They must take care of their women!!..
They must provide for their homes!!..
They shouldn't see a woman's money as theirs..
Their wives must be oriaku not okpata aku!..
No woman respects a man that is not a bread winner!..
That's why so many marriages are breaking up!..
@ Queen and Boss
DeleteIncrease the volume to the highest for the lazy men to hear.
I trust my Igbo guys.
Has this one taken her medication this morning, now it’s past 3pm, ikunle abiyamo o, are you alright at all, see the rubbish you’re spewing? Is Adesuwa, Toolz, Gnemi and others not working before they marry, how come they never attract fuck boys? Don’t go change your depraved mindset, I wonder what sort of men make mothers out of 9jatrash like you, you yourself you get money so, now you will raise a conceited, confused, conditioned boy who doesn’t see his wife as a partner but someone to be dominated because he provides, mgbeke feeling funky, autoangry unfit mother, drop your phone and go back to the kitchen, nonsense
Delete@ Queen and Boss
DeleteWhere I grew up,men are doing competition among themselves who takes good care of their wives and children most.
Heeeeheee money speaking!!
They are the real hustlers.
I respect them so much for that.
Hate to sound this way but anon 15. 36 most likely grew up with an underachieving irresponsible daddy that's why "it" sees nothing wrong with a woman settling for a leech. Queen said most women not all e be like say this one na babe wey de chest all household bills dey vex for women balling on top of their men cash come de call herself independent woman 😂or probably a lazy unambitious fuck boy looking for a woman to feed him ,no go hustle o if u be man because na insult and mental stress go tell u when she flings your lazy ass after using you as a sperm donor ..EwU Gambia
DeleteChief school them. NDI my husband my husband, b fucking outside and b bringing home the money for my husband. Rubbish
DeleteEveryone should have a job before marriage. Apart from the financial implications, they're also psychological implications involved. An idle mind is the devils workshop.
ReplyDeleteKeep yourself busy
@ Troy
Deletewe know there are other aspects ,we are talking about financial aspect now.
How do you support a woman who the University asked to go in her finals bcos of poor GP. You got admission for her the second time, she refused to heed to advise that will help her pull through. Paid for her to learn handiwork, bought all she needs to start off. Instead she starts giving out all the equipments. What can one do when she refused to keep the home neat even when she's at home and you still get all she needs. WHAT CAN THE MAN DO MORE?
ReplyDeleteIf she is your wife,Get her a cleaner and a house help!..
DeleteShe was badly raised!..
If you guys have not married,my brother flee
This one is a serious case ooo!
DeleteDidn't you guys date before marriage?
As in what were you guys discussing during courtship??Because I believe while dating ,there must be important questions to ask to know what you are going into.
Sit her down and ask her what she wants to do with her life.
Ask her what she wants to do? She may like buying and selling.
DeleteJust have money in this life.That’s all I will tell any man that wants to get married.
ReplyDeleteI can marry a broke woman but I cannot marry one that isn’t ambitious or driven.
ReplyDeleteA lot of men don’t know or refuse to accept the fact that an ambitious woman is good for them.It helps them to feed their own ambitions too.
ReplyDeleteI would go for the first man.
ReplyDeleteAs a lady that I am now, I don't need much oo but I can't get married if I personally don't have a stable income. Even if the guy is going to help, I must be doing something first. Nothing sweet like spending your own money.
Not for present day Nigeria a beg. Even if she is not made, she should at least have a job to appreciate money. How many working class girls can easily use her money to go and buy bone straight hair. But you see jobless students wearing them bc reality of life has not set in. If she has never worked or the least frustratingly look for jobs, avoid her
ReplyDeleteIf you can't marry a jobless man then you as a lady should be working and have a source of income. What you can or can't stand should be your yardstick in your decision.
ReplyDeleteI support teejay and queen and boss; nothing else to add.
ReplyDelete