Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm.....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SHATTERED AND BROKEN

Good day Stella, thanks for all do especially through Chronicles on the blog.

 Please kindly hide my E- mail ID.

 Please blog Visitors I indulge you all to offer me advices because I need a lot of it at the moment that I'm in a fix.

 Pardon me for it's a long read so you all will understand where I'm coming from.

 I am from a family of Seven( four girls and a guy) married with two children and from one of the Eastern states in Nigeria. I am by the grace of God a graduate of Mass Communication ( HND) and has an NYSC certificate only and will be turning 38years by November this year. 

I am currently not working and I'm based in Lagos. Although my family have had our fair share of life struggles, pain, twists and turns owing to the fact that I and my siblings lost our mum quite early, she was 37 before she left us (God bless her soul, I love you mum and I miss you everyday.) 

As at the time she passed 27 years ago I was only ten and about gaining admission into J.S.S1 and I'm the eldest of five of us. We are presently orphans at the moment. Life and family hasn't and has still not been the same since mum's demise. 

My mum was a tailor when she was still here. My Dad on the other hand though late now; we lost him 2015( I love you Dad) was opportuned to be a high ranking Custom officer and had lived many years and acquired his education in the UK before he relocated to Nigeria thereafter and got the Customs job without breaking a sweat.

 We lacked nothing as little kids but the void of unfulfillment and emptiness was always there both in our lives and family. Dad never married another wife after our mum even till his demise because along the line, my only brother got married and they all lived together with his kids. His salaries, pension, gratuity from his 35 years of Civil Service didn't show on us as we grew into young adults both education wise or asset wise because we all struggled to find our feet through life and you'll never know from our appearances or by asset acquisition that we are children of a high-ranked Custom officer of that Caliber who once worked with someone like Atiku Abubakar back then in Kaduna while Dad was posted there.

 My Dad never had assets except for our family house back in the Villa. The Pension, gratuity and accumulated allowance arrears over time went in the whirlwind with my brother and his wife amassing all and despite that , they're still struggling till today and currently reside at the Villa. I and my siblings have been facing a lot of Physical, emotional and spiritual challenges, attacks here and there, forces from nowhere have been wrestling us and in my own case, it makes me weak to take actions and feel motivated to succeed and get something out of life.

 These forces block every opening doors, causes me disappointment, goose pimples on my body intermittently and make me feel some kind of vibration on my head at intervals. It also make me procrastinate and lack a great deal that I can't even transport myself to a prospective job market or even acquire needed skills such as baking, fashion and designing(my areas of interest) as you know I'll have to part with a sum to acquire these skills and also buy necessary materials for practicals which I don't have at the moment and hubby is not helping too.

 I'm just stuck at a point and have nothing meaningful going for me. My marriage too is nothing to write home about; It's just a whole mess. Let's save that for later because it's a whole world of it's own. Though hubby and I are only married traditionally, no court or church wedding. We've been married for 10years.

 Currently we aren't s#xually active and haven't had s#x together, next month will make it 5years I last had s#x. Please blog Visitors, I really want to move on, even separate from hubby too because the marriage isn't working either and I need to stand for myself and my kids in terms of being financially independent and responsible because my life in ten 10 years has been a static one and in ruins. 

How do I rise above all my life struggles of all round stagnancy, persecutions, family demonic and external forces trailing my life and preventing me from succeeding both maritally and making exploits like my peers in every facets of my life? Please my blog family, rebuke me all you can but be lenient and kind with your words for I am down already and crawling . 

I really need your suggestions and advices on how I can pick the pieces of my life together and begin to take a step towards advancement based on the little background information I gave up there. I need to free from perpetual bondage and explore life opportunities. Kindly help lift a Sister that's depressed, completely shattered, broken and had lost herself in marriage as a result of marital stress, unhappiness and feud.

 I want to be liberated from shame and ridicule and rewrite my life story and family at large. Please guys help me solve this life puzzle of mine that causes me sleepless nights and restlessness. Even in the myriads of these problems, I have this insecurity of a lingering fungal infection that affected my feet, In- between my toes and fingers; it's so severe and appear whitish that I need to get treatment fast because it's an eye sore. I'll appreciate every advice and suggestions offered me as I'll be in the comment section to answer any question if need be. 

Thank you all for your endurance reading through my piece.

* I am lost for words...

Have you tired taking all these problems to God in prayers? hes the only one that can help you now oh.

TRY GOD!!!