Hmmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIRED
I am tired of life. I feel God hates me.
I have been a good girl all my life and always top of my class but God hates me.
No job, no relationship and I can't even go for post graduate studies. Everything I try my hands on fails.
All my chances get blocked, I live like a ghost. I have tried deliverance several times they say there is nothing wrong with me.
All they see concerning me are good things but nothing good has ever happened to me for the past 9yrs since I graduated. All I know is I am not dead, my life is the only thing God has not taken.
Everything I attempt fails, business, relationships, job applications even trying to leave the country. For those of you that God hears them when they pray. Please tell him to take my life, beg him. He has kept me in the same place for years, I have tried different things nothing has changed.
My family members even hate me, like I am an embarrassment. My friends pity me and I am an object of pity and mockery. Tell God I am tired and he should take my life if he won't bless me. He doesn't answer or hears me when I talk to him.
Sweetie, you are so wrong for having this mindset concerning God...
Maybe he is testing your Faithfulness? I dont know but please dont give up on God, he will never leave you or forsake you.... He has a reason for everything, please hang on in there.
You will laugh soon.. God sees every of your efforts and joy will be yours soonest! Keep hope alive 🤗❤️
ReplyDeleteSad but are you trying to blackmail God? Are you kidding me? Listen, you cannot live a successful life without faith. You need to keep confessing greatness to yourself and come off this your current mindset. God does not hate anybody! Infact,He love everybody, He has finished everything He needed to do and has given it to those who believe and trust Him to enjoy. Play your part by trusting Him wholeheartedly. If you are born again and have faith in God, Sky is your starting point. It is not too late to make things right. Jesus loves you dearly, live for Him and trust Him. You will come back with testimonies.
DeleteYour write up looks like what I would have written 12 years ago. And today, I look nothing like what I have been through. Take it from me girl; hold on to a support system (be it family or friends) and keep positive words in your mouth and positive pictures in your mind. That is all you need to do. Bet me, God heard every word you said in prayers. He will act when He knows it's right. Read POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING. Read THE SECRET.
DeleteYou won't die. You will come out grounded, experienced, though, wiser and more appreciative like me.
Oh dear! This is so heartbreaking
ReplyDeleteBut you you’d just hold on and seek his face for your life by yourself at this time, I am sure he’d come through for you. Please don’t give up. He’s too faithful to fail. Rededicate your life to him and surrender all to him dear and have some faith in him dear.
It is well
The Light
Omg! Hang in there and i am pretty sure God won't let you suffer for this long in vain..Cheer up! It's not easy at all what people go through on a daily
ReplyDeleteWrong mindset dear..be careful of your thought towards ur life
ReplyDeletePlease can you define what you mean by "good girl all my life?"
ReplyDeleteIs there anyone good except God? That's what Messiah taught.
If you keep standing on your righteous pedestal instead of acknowledging that God so loved
everybody, including you. That he
gave Jesus to die for your sins, you will find yourself accusing God and not being making what you call "progress in life."
There is no progress than having the assurance of salvation and an eternal home in heaven with Christ.
As you are asking for death in this state, where are you going after you're dead?
get down to Worship God and study the
teachings of Christ and find meaning to life and afterlife.
Please, don't kick someone who is down. She's not putting herself on a pedestal. She wants to understand why things are not working despite her efforts to live as a good person. Few people have read the bible passage that says only God is good. We all live by the standards/qualities society uses for good vs. bad people. Religion too uses standards and when people follow the rules and things don't work, they become frustrated and confused. Dear poster, stay strong. God loves you and don't feel there's something wrong with you. I understand how you feel. Practice gratitude more and release negative thoughts. Remember that you are what you think. You will overcome by God's grace. See each day as a gift and live it the best you can rather than regret. May God bless you!
DeleteTrying to blame God for all this is a big mistake. Why do you think God is on your case and blocking everything good from happening to you? You need to stop this mindset and make something good out of your life. People who are well to do, chase what they want so if you want to change your life, make an effort and avoid making people God or people around you the reason for your situation. Go get something doing, forget about what everyone thinks about you, live your life and be happy. But you also need to as God for forgiveness, mercies, and for His grace.
ReplyDeleteGod 🙏 forbid. So much negativity. I cannot even read this. Poster. You need to seek a counsellors help ASAP.
ReplyDeleteIt's not only you dear, the country is very hard nothing is wrong with you, I graduated in 2015 since then no job, I have tried applying for visa but I have been rejected twice, I will keep trying, keep trying to leave the country, I know someone that was giving a visa on his 8 attempt
ReplyDeletePoster, please Don't be rejected , God's plan for you is great hang on okay,and also serve God allow him to fight your battle
DeleteKeep you head up , your breakthrough is soonest 🦋
DeleteChallenges are a part of life and not a sign that something is wrong with you, or you need deliverance. All the best.
ReplyDeleteDid I type this? Ah God has blocked his ears to my prayers and voice o. I keep getting near success syndrome always. Last year that I felt finally God has answered my prayers and bless my and boom, another disappointment.
ReplyDeleteI am tired of everything, it's just the alive that I'm alive every other thing is dead. Begging him to take the breathe since I came to this world against his wish.
I said I won't rant ever again but this chronicle just reminds me.
I'm thinking of diverting to the devil, it will cost me something I know but at least I will be able to feed and shelter myself and help the needy.
God have special hatred for me because I don't know what it is that he cannot forgive me or break off.
God forbid.
DeleteSee how the devil is making you profess everything God isn't.
I am not a saint but God has been faithful, some people may laugh at what I call God's blessings but because I know He is good, he will do more.
Covid put us through a trying time, but because God has said he is good, I will hold onto that. Do the same.
The first lie you need to let go of is that "God hates you"
He hates no one, God is actually love and that's the truth.
The devil will take more than he will give and then you will see more hatred.
Let me tell you something, the devil hates the truth, cus God's word is the truth.
There's this passage that says "God is able to do exceedingly above"
The day I understood this enh, my mind opened. That means you can imagine a thing (as beautiful as anything) and yet he can do more than that.
Keep reminding him, and you will surely testify.
Do not give into a lie, that's the devil's weapon, he tries to mimic God
God has the truth and he has lies.
Hold unto the truth and it will set you free.
All will be well, don't give up on God just yet. You will smile again by God's grace. Amen.
ReplyDeleteKnow This... God loves you so much dear, more than you've ever thought. God cannot lie. It is well with you.
ReplyDeletePoster sometimes it could be like its you against the world but be still I know there is God. Don't give up; keep your head up. Stop visiting prayer houses incessantly. Trust and believe God. Count your blessings and celebrate your wins. Live a life of gratitude, just praise God dont ask him for anything. Surround your self with family, friends and believers. Study the word to build your faith. Speak positive words in the morning either taken from the bible or from good words. Bless yourself and say nice things in front of the mirror. Cheer up and be happy. God is not tired of you so why should you. Ehugs
ReplyDeleteDon't worry dear. Soon you will come back with a new song and sing God is good. Trust me, i know how you feel. E-hug
ReplyDeletePoster e-hugs
ReplyDeleteNobody will understand your pains except the experience at least half of what you're passing through
Some of us passes through this phase and this makes us to doubt our faith and the existence of God but hey love, hold on a bit and all your dreams will begin to unfold
Don't get tired of hoping on him
My dear God doesn't hate he loves you dear though weeping may endure only for night but joy comes in the morning. Hang on to him like Job did he'll show himself soon darling
ReplyDeleteDon't give up.
ReplyDeletePoster....here's what I will say....
ReplyDeleteYour mindset is what is making you see all the bad things without the good things.
Ṣeé Ehn...God does not owe you what you cannot do yourself.
You need to start thinking positively about life even in the face of issues.
My advise....use your browsing data to go to pdf library and search for a book titled 'tough times never last but tough people do' by Robert Schuller.
Read it thrice...and start thinking positively and build the blocks of your life.
Start using your phone data to download motivational YouTube videos and instructional YouTube videos and start applying what you learnt.
Spend less time on gossip blogs. Ignore those who say things like 'àwọn motivational speaker'.
Also start reading biographies of people who have succeeded in life.
Ṣeé ehn the Internet is so useful - if only you spend time to use it the right way.
Don't wait for a miracle to fall from heaven. It is in the doing of the right things that your success will be found.
Don't give up on life!
👌👌
DeleteDear Poster, I can feel your pains and fustrations. Life is not fair to anyone but you should never lose hope in God and yourself. Hold on, don't quit yet. I know it is very hard to keep trying after so many failures and disappointments just see it as the only option you have left. Can you take a break from social media like facebook and Instagram for a while? This may sound funny but the idea is to stop from comparing your life with others. With your life, I am confident that God will crown your efforts soon with a success story. Don't give up on yourself now..
ReplyDeleteIt's well, just hang in there
ReplyDeleteYour breakthrough is near.
Change your mindset. Even when things are going wrong accept the fact that nothing is wrong with you. Be positive in heart,in the dream and in physical. Deliverance will not help you you alone will help yourself by first believing in yourself Be positive.
ReplyDeleteStop your nonsensical confessions. You are alive, in good health and sound mind, learn to appreciate God for this. Your friends and family don't hate you, it's just a figment of your twisted imaginations. You are too negative. I don't tolerate people like you. Go to the emergency units of the closest teaching hospitals to you and see the scale of human suffering. It is always sickening when ladies see not having a man in their lives as a problem. How can everybody around you possibly hate you, most people can't tolerate everyday negativity. 33 million Nigerians are unemployed, more than 35 million are underemployed. You sincerely think your situation is an isolated case, it is not. Businesses fail everyday across the world, when you fail, you dust your ass and keep moving.
ReplyDeleteHehehe. Alex. Kilode? You dey vex? Lol. Nice words though.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePoster keep the hopes hight please, look at the brighter side of life, be thankful for not so big things.. Like the air you breathe for free.
ReplyDeleteI belong to a spiritual group on fb and alot of people are testifying to the efficacy of midnight urine.. Wake up in the middle of the night without talking to anyone.. Walk in barefoot to the bathroom, use your left hand to bath with your urine from head to toe,pray all you desire as u bath don't spit it out if it touches ur mouth, I'm sure u will testify too..
PS: urine only smells if stored, fresh from the body is just like salty water.
The lord be with you dearie
You have the mindset of the Pharisee who went to the temple to pray. Did you not know that the righteousness of man is like a filthy rag before God?
ReplyDeleteJob had everything in the world but in a moment it was all taken from him and on that he was stricken with sickness yet he didn’t say evil against his creator.
Make peace with yourself and your creator, bless him for the air you breathe, bless him for good eyesight, sense of smell and taste, bless him for not being bedridden.
Do you know the story of Hezekiah?
Do you remember that Daniel’s prayer was withheld,
You can imagine how upright they walked before God but when they faced hard times they didn’t assume God hated them.
Joseph interpreted a dream for his cell mate and asked him to remember him but he was forgotten. Joseph was a good boy you can remember that and his brothers were against him. When he found favor in potiphar’s eyes the devil came through potiphar’s wife and in his innocence he was thrown to prison.
Have you faced what Joseph faced? If NO why assume God hates you? If YES trust God like Joseph, Daniel, the three Hebrew men and many others trusted. He has a plan for you.
God loves you and his thoughts for you are thoughts of good and not of evil
👌👌
DeletePoster, come let us reason together.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried getting a teaching job in your area? Have you tried to intern with a fashion designer, hairdresser, caterer or baker? Have you tried to work as a housekeeper on the Island to raise funds for a year (some families in Lekki pay as much as 50-100k monthly plus food and accommodation). Have you tried learning how to drive a bus or keke on "hire purchase"? Have you tried frying and selling akara by the roadside? Have you tried fetching water for masons at building sites? Have you tried going to campuses to collect clothes for washing at a fee? I can type 5pages of possibilities only if you are ready to rise from the dust. As in, some people don hustle for this life; you no see nada. You wey God still dey buy you caprisonne and data dey hala. You dieth not nne.
All the BVs who post adverts for pap, crayfish, Ankara, data, chinchin, cakes, honey, aju mbaise, coconut oil, perfume oils etc. are graduates o. You no graduate pass them. Some of them are Godfearing and they mind their business too so you no righteous pass dem too. Therefore, academically, socially and morally, you are not better than them and yet they keep grinding. I admire and respect many of them on this blog. Some of them are no longer where they used to be financially but they started from somewhere without ranting at God. The same God who has not allowed your family and friends to be doing gofundme for your kidney or heart transplant. Do you know how much dialysis cost per week? May God not let you find out in Jesus' name.
On a lighter note, why must it be BVs who would help you tell God to take your life? You see telephone on top the blog logo? See ehn, some bvs don't comment sometimes because their phones develop a fault or they can't afford data; yet they keep hope alive. Everybody is "totally successful" online yet we all have our struggles offline that we can't post online. You even have a smartphone, have data to learn skills on YouTube, have good health and are educated. Be grateful dear. You are blessed more than you know.
Keep your "I am a graduate and good" toga somewhere and use your next data sub money to start a packaged pap, kunu, zobo, tigernut milk or chinchin business and supply offices and shops. Let them know you are educated and looking for better opportunities because God wants to bless you but he needs a working channel to use. What do you do? Start something. Start small and he will enlarge your coast in no time. I see you coming back with testimonies soonest. Our in-house mummy GOs will instruct you further on how to break the remaining yokes if any. Shalom😘
👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼
DeleteInsightful.
Realistic laced with healthy humour.
Thank you Amebonawork, you are so on point.
"He has kept me in the same place for years, I have tried different things nothing has changed." You are actually attributing wrong things to God. This God whose attributes are good, good, good and good. Purity, cleanliness, whiteness, love, peace, joy, etc are the kind of things that are found around him.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, ask him for forgiveness for insulting him with those words. God didn't and has never done anything wrong to you. A lot of people in the grave that had all you want, will give anything to come back here.
1. Try giving. I've not seen any problem that giving (combined with prayer) cannot solve. Since you said you've tried everything possible.
2. Thanksgiving. God only dwells with and works for people with thankful spirits. With all the complaints in your write up, it is obvious you are not thankful. God's word says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 that you should give thanks in EVERYTHING. Meaning, no matter how things go, you should forever and continuously give thanks. Personally, I make it a daily habit to just sit still and say 1000 thank you Jesus. It calms my spirit for the day, sets the path for the Holy Spirit to take charge over that day. This I do before any other prayers. I sing songs of worship a lot, especially in my dialect. When I do this, I feel his presence so strong. Now tell me, can the devil operate in that atmosphere? Of course no.
As I go out, I deliberately look for beggars for the day and give alms. My testimonies are beyond human comprehension. Testimonies have become a lifestyle for me since I made thanksgiving and almsgiving a lifestyle.
I watched a stage play in church some years back. Someone acted as God almighty. There were angels all around him. People kept coming with different requests, complaints, etc. The angels would convey the message to God and he would delegate an angel in each case. Some angels would return successful but tell of how strong the battle had been. Others would return and say that the battle is still pending and will go back again.
Then one woman came in singing a Yoruba song (I love that song so much). Oshu ba rere ooo... The angels asked her what her problems were. She didn't respond, but kept singing. The song pleased God so much, he felt honoured that he got up and told the woman "oya, let's go!" Please tell me the problem that will stand before you when God goes by himself with you anywhere you are.
My dear, just give thanks and keep giving, then give God time. He'll surprise you.
Copy these link and read my comments therein about giving and come back to testify.
https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2021/06/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_0753184932.html%3Fm%3D1&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjS94iXyb_xAhUJxIUKHWdYCKAQFjACegQICRAB&usg=AOvVaw2g0JbAssYmRZq2R0qP3b5T
Nice one Jechix.
DeleteI like this too.
Are you born again or just a good girl who goes to church? good girl does not qualify you for anything because even if you are a believer you can still have troubles. the bible says the just shall live by faith. The bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous but the lord is able to deliver them from all. He did not say afflictions of sinners, he said the RIGHEOUS, right standing with God. That means no matter how righteous you are afflictions will come. but how do you respond? Do you worship God only for what you can get from him or because of who he is? you need to get to a place where you appreciate God for who is regardless of your circumstances. habbakuk 3: 17-19 read it....God is not unjust..every christian has a story and what God has brought them out from. Abraham was childless 25 years...do you know what that means? I waited 9 years so i have a small idea...praying year after year till 25 years, but he still trusted. read the story of Job and all he went through. Do you know if it is just a test? the bible says our righteousness are like filthy rags before God. you cannot be good enough it is all just by his mercy that we exist....we have all been there and wondered if God loves us at some point in this life so just begin to praise God for what he is about to do....begin to thank him for that which you are yet to see. Abraham believed God even when he was yet to see the multitude of children God promised him and it was counted to him as righteousness. God loves you and his thoughts towards you are good so dont give up.....
ReplyDeleteI love you God bless you @babyoku
DeleteThe power of life and death are in the tongue best believe that. If your wishes are granted and you die today where will you spend eternity? Are you right with God? Have you accepted him as your lord and savior? learn to speak life and declare positive things because the words we speak are spirit and life
ReplyDeleteThe way you're feeling is perfect. Hold unto all that anger, all that pain even the little guilt you feel for losing faith. Hold unto it all and go down on your knees and cry to God. Tell him your heart. Even curse if you need to. Speak it into existence and watch it manifest.
ReplyDeleteTry again and I promise you, you won't fail.
One of the few comments I like today.
DeleteStop listening to the lies of Satan and his Demons. GOD LOVES YOU
ReplyDeletePoster stop blaming God and go on your knees and start thanking him.He is your creator so talk to him.God sees all and answers our prayers.desist from sin and let your ways be pure
ReplyDeleteGoing through your chronicle i feel like i need to share this testimony. God showed up for me when i least expected. if anyone had told me early this month my life will be transformed to what i have now i would never have believed. i was even contemplating suicide but Gods mercy said No.my dear dont give up.it doesnt take God anything to change your life even in a second so dont lose hope i beg you.Trust in Him and wait patiently for Him.i will advice you always pray a prayer of mercy.i will be praying for you too. you too must testify just like me
ReplyDeletePoster I totally understand you I too was like you blaming God unnecessarily. Did you actually put God in front of your destiny? Like do you really worship him with all your heart? He told us He has plans for us which is of peace and not of evil but to give us an expected end. You need to hold your maker tight and don't let him go pls, go to YouTube and check out apostle Joshua seaman teaching I assure you your life won't remain the same. Pls don't blame God cos he never wish stagnancy or delay for for You, don't let the devil have the final say pls.
ReplyDeleteKeep on holding on to God he never disappoint I can assure you that pls pls meditate on Jeremiah 29 vs 11.
God has the final say pls don't give up on him cos he will never ever give up on you.
One thing I have known through experience is that when it appears everything is against, like there's no way back, PRAISE GOD.
ReplyDeleteI still remember my own experience with sickness, I even forgot how to be normal at some point. Like being healthy was something I have to relearn.
One thing I did after I have prayed and gotten tired, was wake up every midnight to praise God. Every night I spend one hour singing and dancing to God. And I also asked God to reveal the problem. My testimony now is settled, I nolonger move from hospital to hospital...
Please recognise the plan of God is of Good... to bring us to expected end
Thank God for your health Dimma. I can’t relate the moving from one hospital to another ish. But God still healed my mom
DeletePoster, I want you to know God is love and that God loves you so much. First, sincerely give your heart to Jesus and be born again. Then dedicate yourself to the service of God, then watch how your story will change for good. Trust God for a change of story for you. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePoster, buy data go to YouTube and search for a channel “Divine uk”” then subscribe, then 5 pm daily follow the live adoration and prayers and come back and give us your testimony.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you and be rest assured that God loves you so much. After the rain comes the rainbow. Hang in there dear.
My dear, I was in your shoes not too long ago! i lived like a beggar. i actually used to look through my siblings belongings for N50 change (the one they wont notice) so that i can enter transport and trek the rest. Yes it was that bad! i could even beg them to give me money because I was so ashamed and they usually embarrassed me when I asked fo little favours. I honestly thought of taking my life. Nothing was working for me, me relationship, no friend, my source of income, nothing! Then i cried unto God, i didn't go to any pastor or prophet. I cried to god from the depths of my heart, because truly I knew that at that point man couldn't do much for me. They had promised and failed. And guess what? God heard me in a VERY big way! I am not exaggerating. You will never reconcile me to the person I was few years ago! See eeh, I know i am a sinner and I have come short of the glory of God, but i can assure you that God answers prayers. Cry to him from the depths of your soul and see what he would do. If i write my story in full, you wouln't believe me! Please dont loose hope! I literally had nothing to fall back on, but God has picked me up from the dustbin and has placed me among the kings and queens of this world! I am not exaggerating.
ReplyDeletePoster, I used to be like you, until I started ignoring my situation and focused on thanking God for life and rejoicing, even when I didn't feel like it. I will cry and then play some danceable Yoruba praise and worship. It got to a point I made it a routine every morning and night to dance to God, it started with 15mins later it graduated to an hour. Within 3 months things began to change little by little. When look back at that time in my life I laugh(For we walk by faith, not by sight). Stop considering the deadness of your situation and look at the God who created you for help.
ReplyDeleteLastly, humble yourself before the Lord,and he will lift you with his own hands. It's not by your abilities,it's by His power at work through you and for you.♥️
Do you have a personal relationship with God. Draw closer to him, know God for God and not people say about him. And you will see your life turn around.
ReplyDeleteMy dear never lose hope in God. Those who mock you are only miserable insecure people and those who hate you actually hate themselves and by hating you they are hating God himself, our Creator. Don't give up. Death is not the solution. I have been through what you and countless people are going through but God Himself through the power of the name of His Son Jesus, The Lion of Judah blessed me in the presence of my enemies. He has exalted me me and glorified His mighty name through me Nana Atwuma Mansa or better yet Faith Mansa (Ansah).
ReplyDeleteListen to gospel music, pray and search for bible verses that you need to raise up your spirit and hope. Also listen to four days later by Karen Peck and New Rivers and make it a habit to pray every day, every moment of the day and while you are sleeping listen to gospel songs. Keep your phone away from your bed because it can get hot and can even blow up. Make sure to listen to God is here.
Here is the link to the song God is here in this sanctuary https://youtu.be/HImNPwdW8II
You are meant for greatness and that is why you encountered so much opposition but remember that there is power in your tongue.
Declare only positive things about yourself. Write it on your journal but keep it private as much as you can because those who do not want you to succeed as you have stated are many. So keep your faith, focus on working on yourself and being focused on God and learning and obeying his commandments, ask for forgiveness to God and commit yourself to him and you will see that he will bless you abundantly above all you could think or ask for.
Have a blessed day.
Stella I know I am a day late but please post so that this poster's soul can stop being downcasted. Thank you🙏🏾