They are they relocating to meet their husbands in the Diaspora and behaving as if they have too much sense?... What I am about to open up for discussion here is the in thing among Nigerian wives 'exported' to meet their better halves ...
Some Nigerian Wives will join their husbands abroad and begin to act the I TOO KNOW script and misbehave....
Some even go as far as calling the Police on their men and asking that the man be removed from the house he bought or rented with his sweat!
This behavior is viral in the abroad and i am wondering what really causes it...
Are you a Nigerian wife in the diaspora that has called the Police on your hubby before? why did you do it oh...
Are you a man in the diaspora that has been walked out of your house cos your wife called the Police on you and told them stories to back up the call? what did you do? How did it play out?
What is this I TOO KNOW thing with Nigerian wives in the diaspora?
Lets gist!!!
I've watched two videos of such on the internet. I pray these persons should come up and share their stories and reasons for doing that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone intentionally wants their marriage to break.
DeleteBut Nigerian men need serious re-orientation on what marriage is all about. The maltreatment on women is just too much.
Most women pretend along. When they get there and see the society there is on their side rather than here families will advice you to pray for him; they do what's best for them.
The women equally have their blames because they know these men come all the way down to marry from home because they want a *cultural woman*. They pretend to be that just to cross border and start calling authorities on their men. It's bad o.
I feel men should stop going home to find wives aka slaves. That era is over! Date people that are where you are and marry them. Else y'all will keep getting Jezebels dressed as Saint Mary where you are looking for modern day slaves.
✌
Anonymous 14:52, so much sense in what you wrote up there. Thanks for that input.
DeleteAnonymous 14:52 you need to first change your mindset of Nigerian men are this and Nigerian women are that. Gender does not define had eggs. What about men who are truly good and are just unfortunate to be with a devilish woman?
DeleteIt all comes down to exposure.
DeleteA Nigerian woman in Nigeria is told to stay in a marriage no matter how she's treated, even those who go through domestic violence are told to stay.
Those who have lazy partners are told to stay and manage his laziness because men are scarce.
Those who have cheats of husbands are told to manage because he is a provider and doesn't hit her...
The list is endless.
Now when they go abroad, they find a system that works and favors them, a society that doesn't judge them, a society that respect them based on other achievements asides marriage.
Then they decide to demand for more, the Nigerian man however forgets he is in a different society and instead of making adjustments, flips.
Now the woman with rights decides to put him in his place.
In my marriage today, I and my hubby are partners, we sit and talk about everything, we are equals. (Even though he is still the head and I respect that) I let him know I am as important as he is even to our kids.
We have created a formula, it works, because we are able to discuss everything, I don't think there's an issue we can't get out of by God's grace. Amen.
Dear men, don't take Nigerian mentality abroad, it will most likely fail you...in everything have a relationship built on understanding and mutual respect, I don't think any woman will disrespect that, except she's tired then by all means grant her a divorce.
You are welcome Teejay
Delete16:25, your lack of comprehension isn't my headache. Some of you are always on autoangry mood. You log on the net and be looking for who to use and do practice.
Sorry devil, I jump & pass you! Not today!
@Anonymous 17:00, LMA0@ "autoangry mood", hahahahahahahahahaha. That's a new one. Permit me to use in henceforth.
Delete@push up ur comment is apt.
DeletePeople just start saying Nigerian women flip when they get abroad blah blah,its simply becos they have RIGHTS and wont take the cheating,abuse and enslavement women take her.
Besides each case is different...some men abroad also become lazy and depend on the wife especially if shes doing well and they feel they brought her.
I know someone whose parents are based abroad,the father also brought the woman from naija....she becam a very succesful accountant,for whatever reason the man stopped workn says he wants to do ministry and Charity. D wife paid mortgage,paid university fees for kids,food everythn she provided. And d man sat on i brought u abroad. Meanwhile dis woman started struggling with depression,had mental breakdowns cos everythn was on her and d man still abused her mentally. For years they even started living like strangers in d house,but kept living 2geda for the kids.
Now dat kids are out of the house,with 2 married,heard she kicked him out of the house. Anyone dat doesnt know dere story will call her wicked. Over 30yrs marriage this woman has had enuf and now wants to live her life on her terms.
Anon 14:52 your comment is spot on 🎯
DeleteWahala too much for this life.
ReplyDeleteSome good men end up with jezebels.
Some good women find themselves entangled with Lucifer himself.
Some people are good pretenders.
God help us.
The marriage sef come begin they fear me going by ugly reports I've been reading lately. Make God help us ooh.
DeleteHello slutty
DeleteYou call it I too know because in Nigeria police phone line don loss inside sambisa forest instead na neighbours and family be law enforcement when dv is involved abroad na one dial dem go appear with van
ReplyDeleteWomen call police too in Nigeria, but here, the police ask you to go home and settle. Some even ask you to apologize to your husband. After chopping beating oo. Tje law just works abroad and the women adjust.
DeleteAfterall, the men adjust too. They never hit white women , they never drink and drive etc etc. To me, it's just adjustments on both parties.
If this system of calling police is working in Nigeria, the case of domestic violence will be minimal.
ReplyDeleteLet's say the truth. Our men treat their wives badly and they expect them to keep quiet as they do in Nigeria. They forget that they are in a country that protects women.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is they cannot dare to treat a foreign wife the way they treat a Nigerian wife.
Anonymous thank you oh. The men in Africa are very wicked to their wives back home but, same African men treat their foreign wives like egg.
DeleteThey come down here to pick slaves and expect them to still be slaves over there, it doesn't work that way now.
If you want to continue being the head and superior partner, they should marry and stay in Africa where the woman is literally the slave and have no say. Kmt
Yes, my neighbor's daughter called the police on her husband and had him thrown out.
ReplyDeleteThis was the man that brought her from our town and trained her in nursing schools until she
graduated and began working as a nurse and all pride and peacock were let loose.
The man lost his house, has no access to his kids and this woman's brothers and mother
were the ones gingering her up. They have been flying in and out of "abroad" you know.
When their payday comes, people will begin to pity them for reaping what they worked so hard
to earn?
Proverbs 11:31 If the righteous receive their due rewards on earth, how much more the wicked?
🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚🦚
What did the man do? Did the woman just wake up and call the cops on him?
Delete@15:43
DeleteThe whole thing was planned and orchestrated by the lady and her brothers/mom.
That is what Stella is talking about there; domestic quarrels aren't settled by the woman
calling police and accusing the man. Women are abusing that lapse in the law to punish their husbands
for any and everything.
Pure lies. No one trains another on school. You come here, you apply for student loan to further your education. You pay back after studying. Men should stop lying. You do not train anybody in school and please if it is that simple, go back and study better courses.
DeleteThe question is ...was there love?
DeleteEveryone is humble without money.
The way you put it "he brought her from our town"
He must have also been ringing this in her ears as some kind of privilege.
Did they date? did they have a relationship? Or it was mostly via connection.
A relative of mine married via connection and has kept his wife with his parents for four years now, I am sure when he eventually takes her over, he too will claim he brought her over so he deserves to Lord over her.
They have never spent up to 7months together since their marriage and you expect her not to change, I have been telling them but they have refused to listen.
When she goes abroad and finds out she doesn't even love this man, resentment will definitely set in.
Dear men, date women well before popping the question, stop looking for village girls because your mum told you she goes to church.
What happened to all the girls you've dated, why dint you wife one?
Until we tell ourselves the truth, we will continue having these issues
Thank you Nwanyi na aga aga. These women apply for student loans. It is very hard for an Igbo man to give $2,000 to his wife, talk more of training her in nursing school that is over $15,000.
Delete@Nwanyi na aga aga, you're the type they're talking about. You don't even know what happened but you're sure it's lies. Are you defending her with the hope someone will defend you when you do the same? Even if it were loans, could she have applied from Nigeria? Hopefully you'll end up with someone as wicked as you are.
DeleteIt is true that men train women at school. My husband paid for my masters degree as you cannot qualify for student loans unless you have permanent residence which takes up to five years in the UK. Also you cannot get a student loan in the UK if you already hold a masters degree from anywhere else. Women can choose to rent a new home if they can afford to rather than taking over the man's home. The police simply want to protect the children from harm and to maintain public peace but I think some women have taken the eviction of their husband's too far. They have other options like renting their own home or staying elsewhere until they can afford to do so.
DeleteAnon 16.53 sense is much in you ..my thoughts exactly
Delete@Nwanyi
DeleteI just finished reading nursing here. I did not take a student loan. I worked and paid my way through school.
It was tough though. I know some of my classmates that their husbands paid for theirs. I also know those that took loans and
a few that got part scholarships because they are US citizens and qualified due to age and the county where they have lived for years.
Stop telling people that they are lying. Tell your experience and allow another to tell hers/his.
@Anonymous 18:19, thank you very much for this. I so love your last paragraph "Stop telling people that they are lying. Tell your experience and allow another to tell hers/his", this is so apt.
DeleteIt is not a lapse in the law
DeleteIt is the system over there
I hate rhis linenof he broughtbher from Nigeria as excuse to treat your wife poorly. The man also needed a wife if not why did he marry so it was a mutual agreement pls.....nobody was helping anybody. Wife also left her family to come abroad, cook clean and do orher room duties so the man did her no favour. Then in the man sent her to school....why didnt the man go to sch to better himself as well. Let us saybthe truth as it is these men were simply looking for modern day slaves and got served simple as ABC. They need to change their mentality of wife importation and they will be alright. Wife plenty for abroad but nay they must go village so they can bring woman to control. Nonsense
Delete@20:47
DeleteIt is not nonsense. I wrote that original comment and I want you to say only what you know.
I wrote what I knew how it happened. The man is a graduate from a US university and working as
a graduate and brought this girl from Nigeria after marrying her in Nigeria. So a man who has lived all
his life in the states and who worked to build a house and marry and have kids lost everything because
of what the lady's family schemed with her to do and you call it being served or nonsense? Wow!
@Anonymous 14:39, say what you know! I don’t know the lady you are talking about, but I sure know that everything you wrote there is false. Nigerian men, especially the old ones that bring Nigerian men over here are extremely evil and they tell lies that people tend to believe.
DeleteIf I tell you my story eh
For all the ladies that do this, tell lies to kick out their husbands and acquire
ReplyDeleteeverything he worked for...may you also acquire all these baskets of shame
🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺🧺
If a husband maltreats you in a country where the system protects you, won't you do anything to get out of that situation and not lose totally????
ReplyDeleteThese Nigerian men will treat their wives anyhow in Nigeria and they will take it because nothing will favor them. Because of this, they will now want to continue to maltreat them because they took them out of the country.
Sister, if ur husband maltreats u, throw his useless self out if u want to and if he doesn't leave, freaking call the cops on him. Your mumu don do.
Gbam!
DeleteYou should see the way those demons treat their oyibo wives, most of the oyibo wives are even housewives oh. African women have suffered.
“African women have suffered” because too many have been brainwashed to believe that a good/virtuous woman must suffer in marriage to build her husband up to prove how good of a wife she is. Sad thing is that in most cases, those husbands leave them or starts to misbehave once they make it.
DeleteIt’s not just African women but black women in general ie African Americans also. Check out majority of these rich athletes, musicians, etc and who they marry once they sign their millions of dollar worth of contracts. Then check out the women they go for once they go broke.
I'm sure the men are not innocent. They may have carried that their abusive spirit to abroad and think it is Nigeria where the women will keep quiet and swallow rubbish. Good for them..
ReplyDeleteVery true and they lie a lot
DeleteWe need to ask why these men are treated this way? I am not saying some women are not evil!! But again, some men are worse. They they can treat their wives anyhow forgetting they are in countries where the law works and no police officer will tell you it's a family affair.
ReplyDeleteThe one i heard, is the men marrying and taking the wives abroad, these women collect student loans to go to nursing school and the husbands start demanding for their salary cause he brought them abroad. Some men even go as far as claiming to have paid the fees, but oga, can you really afford that nursing school fees? These women might no longer be able to condone the egomaniac violent man and the best option is to get the authorities involved.
Mawumi, many of these Nigerian men abroad are obsessed with marrying Nurses, Doctors or Pharmacists. Once they bring their wives here, they want her to go into the healthcare field yet they themselves won’t go into the healthcare field because they know what it entails. They see their wives as ATM.
DeleteNot only do some take their wives salaries, some will pretend all is well and the woman will kill herself by working like a donkey all in the name of building up her family while the man “invests” the money in Nigeria “for the family” by building a family house. Guess who goes to Nigeria to marry a new wife once that “family house” is completed? Or asks for a divorce afterwards? Your guess is good as mine.
It is not that many of these women call the cops on their husbands, it’s the fact that they become financially stable and realize that their so called husbands can’t continue to treat them like slaves. Some of these wives will work their crazy hour healthcare jobs, go home to cook, do house chores while their husbands do little to nothing as “the head of the house”. These same men will marry white women and quickly realize that a man is supposed to help out in their homes with house chores. Same house chores that are beneath them when they’re married to Nigerian women.
Like many have already mentioned, stay in your zoo where you can get away with treating your wives like trash. You can’t eat your cake and have it too in developed countries.
16.28, you said it all.
DeleteI just remembered a guy that came back from the abroad. Saw me...liked me and then he heard I was a lawyer...backed out cos according to him...he doesn't want wahala. One aunty of his now arranged a good "church girl" for him.
ReplyDeleteYears later, the "church girl" had him evicted from his own house, sold it, took his children and relocated to another state in the US with her oyibo bf.
He is back to Abuja, broke and hustling cos he lost his job and couldn't get any cos the wife had him arrested. He was the one that told me all this cos I was oblivious to what was going on.
Really felt pity for him until he said "it was you I wanted, can we start afresh?" I just said...Brother, the wahala still dey o. If you don't want to relocate to the village, dey your dey o! We both laughed but he got the message.
My cousin too had a horrible wife but he was smart enough to put his house in the US in his mother's name. My aunt promptly evicted her out after their divorce.
Your comment got me laughing out loud @Brother the wahala still dey o." Didn't know you are a lawyer. But are you lawyers troublesome?
DeleteOne came to marry me, after deep conversations, he said I am too ambitious for him, unless I will be a Nigerian wife. I told him to fuck off. Now I am in the abroad and he has been calling me upandan apologizing, telling me we can start afresh.
DeleteIkechukwu thunder will continue to fire you anytime you feel like contacting me again. Nonsense and ingredients
Just what I typed up there.
DeleteThey keep looking for naive girls.
It's not like those girls are even bad, but because they haven't "opened eye" they expect them to take whatever they dish them.
Lol @ 15.48.
Delete@Teejay...the guy was just looking for who to pamper him abeg. That's what's all these deported guys do. They use their borrowed accent to be deceiving ladies and they fall for it.
Delete@Anon 15.48...U no well lol.
Una see @Amethyst comment up there? It is typical of we Nigerians and that's the problem the country is facing. When it came to her cousin (a man), it was the cousin's wife that was the bad person, but if the person is not our family, and it is male, he has to be the problem.
Delete@Amethyst, I am not saying your story is wrong, all I am saying is that most of us in most cases support our own even if there are the offending party. It shouldn't be that way. We should stand by principles and the truth rather than persons.
Anon... I don't support evil so save that "support" for someone else.
DeleteMy cousin is humble and hardworking and nice to a fault. This woman and her family used him to the extent that he had no single property in Nigeria.
It took him divorcing her to breathe. He has remarried again and he is happy but he made sure he trained all his children until they turned 18. The ex didn't contribute a dime.
Please when next you decide to give advice...make sure you get both sides of the story. You don't know me at all in the first place to judge by A comment who I support or not.
Which also shows that you're a typical Njgerian...reading without comprehending and assuming.
It goes both ways.
Amethyst
DeleteStop supporting your cousin. You are not in their marriage. He may be nice to you, was he nice to her?
Trained the kids till they are 18, why won't he ? They are his kids too.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
It is not only the women o. Lol I also brought my man from Nigeria and he ended up calling police for me bcos I was questioning him about his prostitution habits with gay men here in Canada. It’s a two way street. I don’t think it’s the women alone doh if you ask me. Everyone should understand that it takes a lot for someone to make up their mind to bring you here. Help them build and not destroy them further. Peace to everyone going through one thing or the other.🙏🙏🙏
ReplyDeleteLmao this one sweet me. Why can't you people marry the people around you though? Are they not good enough?
DeleteProstitution with gay men???? Ekwensu e romancia mammy water!!!!
DeleteMy sister if I tell u my sister own u all will pity her. She got married to the devil himself with family of evil themselves. Anyway we ate waiting for God to judge. I have heard of narcissist before I nor know say na so they be oooo. The guy come be yahoo with his family cooking for him to get girls that will spend on him couple with a cultist. E too much. I have wrote it here many times. Please ladies when u want to married try and check the meaning of narcissist and see if u man have it ooooo. Is not funny . We later found out he even killed his ex in Malaysia and took her money. Story plenty. I feel for my sister and us. Pls bvs join us in prayer that God will fight this for us and bring the best for my sister. We dont know any juju man as God is our all we depend on. He as threatened he will harm my sister with juju man and his family is saying so too. I nor know say you go married man do everything for am carried am come abroad. He go come turn to prayer point. He says his families know powerful juju man bit we know God is bigger. Please lady married abroad if you live there ooo. Dont go to Nigeria and marry ooo.
DeleteAnon 17.09...🤣🤣🤣. Onye ara Ka ibu LOL
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂@17:09 Chiwetalu Agu!
DeleteWow😳😳😳
DeleteSo sorry for your sisters plight.
DeleteNo be only woman, dey call police for the man, I have seen where the woman imported the husband, at all, na the man call police for the wife.
ReplyDeleteWomen are more at the receiving end on this issue, trust me.
ReplyDeleteYou bring a woman abroad, you collect all her salary and give her £20 for her upkeep??? I know someone who told his wife in clear terms that she is his investment and it must yield returns. He will demand money from her and go to Nigeria to flex.
Another one slapped his wife the 3rd time and she called the cops. At what point did he plan to stop slapping her? She forgave him twice. After she called the police, he started running helter skelter looking for who will beg her. We had to beg and beg on his stupid behalf.
Some of them maltreat their wives and make them miserable, some of these women end up depressed and mentally screwed. The moment their wives rebel and refuse to take their shit any longer, story will start, I brought her abroad, she is an ingrate as if abroad is paradise.
You do not have the right to hit your wife because you brought her abroad. If you hit her, be ready for the consequences. The law works abroad not in Nigeria where the police will demand you beg your husband after he has removed your tooth.
I know someone that was getting $20 after submitting her whole salary to her husband in the US because he married her in 9ja and brought her abroad. She is in the medical field which is what all the good for nothing wife hunters want. Dude will go and squander the money at that Nigerian joint in Houston and beat her black and blue if he returns and doesn't see food on the table (without dropping money for food as he don collect all the salary). If you see her and her kids, apart from their accent, you won't believe these people live abroad. He beat and stripped her one night, strangled her till she thought she would die. She finally managed to get away. Ran to the neighbors House Stark naked. Na the Oyibo neighbor's husband come open door. They gave her something to cover up and wanted to call the cops but she refused because she didn't want people to think she was brought abroad and has now opened eye. The neighbors told her to leave their home if she didn't want to involve the cops as they didn't want to be a part of it. She hid in the woods behind their home till the next morning. She is one of many women abroad that take the abuse and refuse to report. Some end up dead, others become a shadow of themselves and suffer mentally, emotionally, and physically. There is nothing like open eye bla blah blah. The same men won't try this with oyibo women. Nigerian women need to do better in raising both the female and male kids. You don't raise a girl to be a good wife without raising good men to marry them.
DeleteHaving said that, some of our women need to do better, They misbehave, start mingling or listening to useless friends who don't want them to have a settled home, they start partying, become difficult and rude. They do not listen to their husbands and some devilish ones would even kick their husbands out over minor issues.
ReplyDeleteFrom my perspective, the number 1 problem marriages face abroad is finances. This money matter is only God that can resolve it and the system doesn't help and puts couples under pressure.
If both of you or one of you is in the marriage for the wrong reason, that marriage will not survive abroad.
No be only woman, dey call police for the man, I have seen where the woman imported the husband, at all, na the man call police for the wife.
ReplyDeleteAny time I read stuff like "poor men are humble", I laugh. Nobody personifies that like a woman. Give a woman just a little power and she'll show you shege. You can see how they behave when their man loses his financial power and they gain theirs. Oga becomes shit. This relationship and marriage thing is all a scam. It's to the woman's sole benefit. As e be now, my first consideration to get into any relationship is that she must have her own money too. I'm not talking about making 300k monthly. Mba. You must be making good money too. Madam you must be making millions monthly too. Shebi una say make we follow our level. Abi it only applies when the woman is the one with the money? Dear men, if you're abroad, find a chic over there if you want to marry. Stop importing generationally indigent women who will later reveal their real character. Imagine them calling the police on a man that took them out of the zoo.
ReplyDeleteHope as she’s making money u too will share the housework and all with her? Lazy arse man.
DeleteSo because he took her abroad, he owns her life and can take it? Regardless of whatever she is going through even if it is DV , she should endure it. You have no point jare.
DeleteSnarker talk am...Lions will gather...Ekuke will roll out.
DeleteEmployee na acho millions...odiegwu!🤡
I really feel the fault is from most of our parents. Men are not taught to be husbands as God wants it rather to have bloated ego up and down. Can you imagine a man would be comfortable to let his wife financially run the home and only sends money to his parents and if the lady talks, response is, "your parents can still work" because my dad runs a business, parents almost 70 years old. I was told oh, that men from that tribe dont take care of their women. How could you? Wont pay school fees, no rent. Any little talk about money, just know quarrel would start. I cant even send money home cos i spend all at the home front. I am into many contributions to meet up and God has been faithful. God knows i am exhausted. I am just doing this for my children.
ReplyDeleteIn response to what you posted, Anon 16:27, It is mostly mothers that raise their male children to have what you call "bloated ego up and down".
DeleteIt is not for your children
DeleteChildren are not stupid they can see
Okay
ReplyDeleteI heard of a story where the man purposely brought the woman over to the UK with a visiting visa, traditionally married her from Nigeria.
Upon getting to the UK, the woman bore him 4 kids over 12 years. During these 12 years this man promised to regularise the wife’s papers. The husband told her to bring her Nigerian passport and brought a form for her which they filled with the promise that her papers had been submitted to the UK home office.
Unknown to this woman, the man had been bragging to freinds outside that he will never assist the wife with regularising her papers.
Each year, the husband will tell the guy the wife to be patient that her papers is with home office, for 12 good years.
One day when the husband travelled to Nigeria, their DVD player at home got faulty so the wife and her brother unscrewed the dvd player with the hope of fixing it, inside the dvd player that was opened is where they found the wife’s hidden Nigerian passport. The wife later found out that that the husband had filed no papers and had been decieving her for 12 years. The wife almost ran mad.
My point is that some of these men go to Nigerian to find a woman they can enslave......
Lots of cases in London......
Another Lady who mentioned of how her children’s dad will ask for her to pay him for looking after their two biological kids. So she can go to work, this lady would pay her husband to babysit thier own kids and still she will pay the rent.
My God
DeleteMy God
DeleteStella, ask the men what they are doing to our women?
ReplyDeleteHow comes its only Nigerian men that Nigerian women are calling police for?
Have you ever called police for your husband? Have you ever had the need to?
A lot of Nigerian women are married to white men, Asian men etc. Why don’t they call police for them?
Nigerian men will live abroad and combine both the bad behaviour of Nigerian men and the bad behaviour of foreign men.
A lot of white men expect you to work, but they are happy to do even more than their share of housework. They are to do more childcare than you.
Nigerian men want you to work and also do all the housework and childcare alone and serve them like your lord and personal saviour.
My sister is going through hell now. She’s doing 3 jobs, even though she’s earning well as a registered nurse. Her husband doesn’t do any work. He just sits at home, collects her salary and gives her pocket money.
She can’t leave because she claimed asylum in the country she’s in with fake papers, which this man asked her to do. He keeps threatening her that if she leaves, he will tell Immigration.
Oh dear!
DeleteSo he basically set her up to be blackmailed for the rest of her life while he enjoys the fruits of her labor.
DeleteEkuke will not see this one but if it was reverse , they start barking.
There is a way out to this and hope for her sake she figures it out.
The way out of it is for her to record a conversation with him and take it to the police. She needs to tell them the whole truth. They will refill her asylum case and she will get her asylum immediately. She needs to do it ass as soon as possible so they can investigate and see how he collects her money. He is enslaving her and will be put in jail for a long time.
DeleteBut your sister needs to tell the whole truth so she can be set free forever. It’s easy to do. Walk into a police station and tell them everything. They will set up the wire/ recording if necessary. That is if she really wants to leave the man o. Women no dey try at all
Anon 00:04 is right. Let her record him blackmailing her. Videotape exchange of money and get a lawyer from a charity then go to the police. Blackmail & Extortiom are serious crimes
DeleteWhen she finally gets the courage to do this, someone will come and say that the guy took her abroad and she opened eye without understanding that she has been enslaved and under mental torture of being reported to immigration for something he asked her to do.
DeleteStella. I can assure you that Nigerian women are tired of Nigerian men's bullshit. Unfortunately, Nigerian men abroad are almost the same as those in Nigeria. Very unrefined and mean. I can remember back home in naija, my cousin linked me up to some proud idiot abroad. This guy started behaving like he was doing me a favour by talking to me. I always made statements like 'so many Nigerian girls are freaked about moving abroad' etc. i noticed he felt I wanted to use him to migrate. This guy is barely educated eeeh. I think he has an associates degree or so now. When my cousin linked us up, honestly I was skeptical, because education is very important to me, but I felt it would be good to give him a chance since we are from the same town. I was the one always trying to keep the conversation going and all. One day, my cousin called me and said that the guy was in Enugu. i lived in Enugu back home. I literally chatted with this guy 2days ago and he didnt give a hint of being in Nigeria. I felt so bad and decided to face my front. he didn't bother reaching out too. What the mumu did not know then was that I was applying for PHD scholarships to move to the USA. Luckily i got a full-ride and I left Nigeria for Boston. Its been 7 years here. I now have a lovely family. I met my husband while doing my PHD, he's a Nigeria medical doctor here in USA. I had honeslty forgotten about this dude until one day i received a friend request on facebook and i thought i recognised this person. All for me to check the profile and i realized it was this guy from back then who treated me like trash because he was abroad. He looked like life had happened to him. Honeslty, by this time i had settled sown fully into life in USA and I was expecting my 2nd child. I never accepted that friend request. My cousin who linked me to the guy later told me that the guy had said he thought I wanted him because I wanted to use him to relocate. He admitted to my cousin that if he knew who i am or what I could achieve back then, he would have married me. As for me, I dodged a bullet. He cannot even compare himself in any way to the man i married.
ReplyDeleteMay God help us.
ReplyDeleteLate Archbishop Benson Idahosa said and I quote...”a lizard in Nigeria will not become an alligator in America”, it all boils down to the character and level of discipline of the wife or husband in question. An unruly man or woman that lacks character will not suddenly become good because he/she is in America.
ReplyDeleteMy colleague has had the opportunity to travel to America but refused explore it because he is afraid his wife will go haywire and his fears are well founded, she is manifesting enough in Nigeria as it is. A well behaved man/woman with a good head on their shoulders will adapt to the culture and build with their spouse in any country they find themselves in.
16:27, continue for it is your cross. Since you were warned yet love no gree you hear. Desperate women everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThat's very harsh. Do you know her? I bet no.
DeleteStella, any man or woman that is breaking the law should have the police called on them. What is "I too know" in the matter? If your husband is assaulting you, being menacing to you and being threatening, call the police on him, especially if you're ina country that will actually protect you.
ReplyDeleteNigerian men should also learn to do pre-nuptial agreements if they have material things to lose in their marriages. Afterall, even citizens over there do such agreements.
ReplyDeleteThere are other legal ways they can protect themselves. As their wives are learning, they should learn too.
Above all, Nigerian men (home and abroad) should learn to adapt for good with good women, and learn to protect themselves against bad women or good women from bad, greedy, and wicked families.
Hmmm wonders shall never end. Abroad is good for abusive men. Their wives should deal wit them decisively.
ReplyDeleteSo in my husband’s family, the horsebands would normally hit their wives and go scot free.
ReplyDeleteOga thought it was normal as per them de beat his sisters on the regular.
He hit me first time, I warned him that a second time will land him in prison.
3 years later, he nearly choked me while giving me the hitting of my life.
When I got up, I quickly called the cops on him and of course he was arrested.
He reported to his family ( where it’s normal to hit women).
They said it’s because I have a PhD and I think I m smart bla bla bla. They wanted to use divorce to threaten me, Oga jeje told them I v been begging him for divorce, na so
every body just calm down.
We are now living in peace and the last time we argued, Oga walked away instead of hitting me.
DV is a no no for me jare.
Marriage is only an achievement if both parties are happy.
My God, Kids and career are more important to me than marriage.
If a man treats his woman right, I don't think there'll be any need to call the cops. SOME people though I think have endured enough and when they see that the system works here and if you call the cops, something will be done, then they do it. Some women on the other hand take it too far, just because they've mixed with people here and heard gists of how they shouldn't take rubbish, then their senses fly out the window and they start acting like the 'whites'. Even common good morning from the husband will become suspicious
ReplyDeleteWhy are the white women that are married to Nigerian men treated differently? Why do they hardly call the cops for DV?
ReplyDeleteSimple answer is that the Nigerian men that are married to them respect themselves! Hardly would you see a Nigerian man hitting his white wife.Police won’t just turn up and arrest any man for no reason.
Let’s be realistic here, the problem is that black women are expected to endure and not involve the police.
I can’t be in a system that works and not use it.... inukwa! How about the men behaving themselves?
So i am a lady but let's stop painting All Nigerian men as bad. Please the only person that owes you because he or she brought you to this earth are your parents.
ReplyDeleteI have seen women who are treated nicely operate double standards, their brothers could be jobless, drunks and yet they see no fault in supporting such brothers, they take from their husbands and support their own brothers, sisters and parents. Please what stops your family from working just as hard as your husband? If you can support your siblings then why not the man you claim to love?
I have seen some people say abroad people be forming for them, biko the person is not the reason why you are where you are. Even you wey dey naija, don't you reject certain calibre of men or toasters when they don't meet your standards? Standards are standards and everyone wants the best.
Some women keep lovers and know that they are marrying these men either for money or a ticket outside the country, please if your papa no fit do am for you or you no fit do am by yourself then respect another man's hustle.
For me oooo, if domestic violence is part of the marriage then do yourself a favour and work hard to be independent and leave the marriage. Don't see marriage as a cash cow to ruin another man or woman and always put yourselves in people's shoes, if you were treated in a certain way, would you appreciate it? Nigerian women and men need to do better, leaching on anybody is gross irresponsibility.
Anon 00.39 PLS are you single? In a relationship? Regardless, I would like to be your friend... If you don't mind, kindly reply me on here and I will make the necessary moves, btw, am Yoruba, Single and late 30's. Employed, Lagos based.
DeleteI love this. Very balanced comment. Most of those up there are sharing one sided stories.
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