Chronicle Of A Married Man - 27

 “Why do couples divorce after spending some many years together? Why dont they weather the storm till death do them part? Why sacrifice so much only to give up and throw in the towel at the end of the day?''

A couple of weeks ago, news broke out that Bill Gates was divorcing his wife of 27years. It was the trendy topic for more than a week. Everyone had a thing or two to say about it. Two months earlier, I watched a snippet of her interview on Fox news. And all I could think was, how on earth did this pretty woman end up with the him.

Please don’t get me wrong, Mr. Gates is a good “catch”

When it comes to issues like this, opinions abound. There was the team “money cannot buy happiness”. Listening to them and reading some of their write-ups, I just prayed for them. May they not enter into a marriage of poverty. Then they will realize that poverty doesn’t guarantee happiness either.

Then, there’s the team “he cheated on her”. This category, no matter what, will always turn every marital discourse into a gender war. The man will always be at fault. There were numerous spin-offs to the cheating story. And it goes on and on.

There were other categories with too numerous to cover in this piece. Notable mentions will be the conspiracy theorist cum vaccine apologists and the Jeffery Epstein angle. But let’s move on.

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, my parents separated after 43years of marriage! 

At the height of the separation process, I was in the middle of it. I financed the whole process of making sure that they both stayed apart. Family and friends who saw what was happening all contacted me. That I should prevail on my parents to come back together. They knew I had such influence on my parents that if I talk to them, they will be back together. I bluntly refused. I will rather have two separated parent who are alive and happy than lose one for the sake of keeping a marriage or saving face.


Before they separated, my mom was already a severe BP patient with the acute case where blood pumps out of her nose during the BP attack. There was never peace in the house for more than one week. I will always get calls when they start their dramas. Both of them had ego problems. How they managed to stay together for 43years is a story I will share some other time. But it’s that classic case of how our parents married in the 70s to the 90s. But now woke culture ti take over!

So, the question for this week is: “Why do couples divorce after spending some many years together? Why dont they weather the storm till death do them part? Why sacrifice so much only to give up and throw in the towel at the end of the day?''

To answer the question, I would rather look at the reasons why people get married in the first place. Understanding this, will give us an idea of why they end up divorcing after putting some much into it. I would want to think that if the reason why I got married in the first is not been achieved, would it not make sense for me to quit with my sanity intact and go find happiness in other places?

For want of writing space, I will only look at only three:

First, for companionship and other “add on” that comes with being married. Psychologically and physiologically, we are not wired to be alone. The scourge of been alone is what has driven many people into marriages today. In my single days, being in town and alone in my two bed-room apartment on a weekend was nothing short of a nightmare for me. Ironically, people start drifting apart after many years of staying in marriage. Lots of married people today “feel alone” for one reason or the other. This is the most singular leading cause of divorce today. Sometimes I’m sitting with my wife and I’m pressing my phone for so long…na so drifting take dey start.

Secondly, people get married because the feel it’s the right thing to do or because it’s what is expected of them to do. 80% of people leaving the NYSC today will tell you the next plan is to get a job and next get married. But the sad reality is that not everyone is meant for marriage. Lots of people today don’t even have the mental and emotional capacity of taking care of themselves talk less of a partner and children. And another sad fallout of the woke culture today is that, men are no longer committed to keeping long term relationships these days. Then you also have the women who are not ready to “chop shit” from any man in the name of marriage. So, the divorces keep piling up.


Lastly, for poverty alleviation. Funny abi?. Yea, it’s true. In this part of the world, marriage has been used to bridge the poverty gap by lots of people. Poor girls want to marry rich guys; the average guy wants to marry a woman that will support his hustle. This has led to lots of disjointed marriages these days. And sure, they won’t last the test of time.

There are many other countless reasons why people get married which also have the own seed of divorce sown in it. It is just what it is.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying these are wrong reasons to get married. My point is that when the reasons for which you got married are no longer there.

 Divorce will naturally happen.

In conclusion, personally thinking about this Gates’ divorce “ish”, I concluded that they just grew apart. They have kept appearances for so long and they just decided to go find their own happiness. Las las mama will get her robust divorce settlement and probably become the world’s richest woman; and end up marrying a high school teacher. Who said life is balanced?

In other news, another marriage is loading…and story go follow.

Next week things.

Ciao!