Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmmm...

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:

FULL OF REGRET

Dear Stella, please keep me anonymous. I am a silent blog visitor. Thank you for this platform.


I got married traditionally in November last year (2020), I moved in with my husband afterwards. Ever since I started living with him i noticed quite a lot. We didn't date for long before getting married and I think we are not compatible at all.


We hardly sit down and discuss like couple, he don't involve me in his plans and he don't seem to be interested in mine. He doesn't listen to my suggestions in the house. I have tried talking to him about the need of communication in marriage but he said he don't have anything to discuss with me. 

He does not believe in savings, he spends his money as they come and his job is on contract basis, the money doesn't come all the time. I am always scared of emergencies, that's why I advised him to be saving as the money doesn't come all the time, but he won't listen to me.


He asked me to stop the little job I am doing, I refused because I was scared of going broke, family intervened and they said I have to obey my husband and resign, I did resign and he don't want me to get another job. 

I am always broke since I stopped work, part of my little saving was used for the wedding. He doesn't give me money for upkeep and shouts on me whenever I ask for money. He does not drop money for me for the house upkeep. He buys the foodstuffs himself, most times there will be yam, Rice, beans, spaghetti but I will need some money to buy the ingredients to make a meal out of it, if I ask for the money he will insult me and ask that I buy them myself that he has bought the major foodstuffs.

 All my remaining savings has finished because I use to buy some of these things without asking him and I don't have a job. He buys clothes, shoes, bags for me when he goes shopping but will not give me money at hand, he says I don't need money for anything.


We live like strangers in the house, he goes out without letting me know when he is leaving and comes home anytime he feels like. Sometimes he comes home by 11pm, 12am, 1am, 2am. 

He won't call to tell me if he will be staying out late. If I call to know what is keeping him out so late, he will shout on me and and cut the call on me. I always ask him calmly because I am worried, God can bear me witness that I have never shouted at him. He has warned me not to call him anytime he is out late. He said there is no law that says he has to come back home early or take my permission before staying out late. He said he hangs out with his friends, I don't have a problem with him hanging out with his friends but my concern is that he comes home on time.


I have stopped talking whenever he comes home late for the sake of peace. What got me angry and made me to write this Chronicle is that he has changed from coming home late to not coming back at all till the next day.

 I tried calling him around 1:30am to know why he is not back yet, he cut the call on me as usual. He came back home around 5am with no form of remorse and I don't intend to ask him about it again. I want to just ignore him.

 The last time he did the same, I tried to ask him when he came back, he said I don't have the right to tell him when to come back to his house, I told him that no responsible man behaves the way he does. He twisted it and said I told him he is irresponsible and that I have insulted him. I ignored him and never mentioned it again, after three days he came and apologized but still never consider his actions as bad, I forgave him for the sake of peace and not up to one week he has done the same thing again. 

When he was leaving he never told me where he was going, not even a simple good bye, he will just open the door and zoom off.


I am tired of the marriage and feel so lonely. I feel we are not meant to be together. No wonder I was not happy at all on my wedding day and I was wondering why.

 I had other suitors when we were dating, they asked me to slow down and think very well before settling with him because we've not known for long and he was rushing to marry me. I wish I listened.

 Out of anger I have threatened several times to leave the marriage, even a month after the marriage but he keeps begging anytime I say that. I really want to leave this marriage now cause it doesn't seem normal to me, I Know I made a big mistake, I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, there is no pregnancy yet, and I feel things will not get better between us. I am presently looking for a job right now without his knowledge and I wish anybody can help me with job right now.

 Once I can get something doing I will pack and leave. We don't even sit down together in one place in the house not to talk of gisting and laughing together. If he is in the sitting room and I go there to sit with him, next thing he will stand and go to the room, if I go back to the room to meet him, next seconds he is off to the sitting room. 

Our sex life is 0% we can sleep on the same bed for up to four weeks and he won't touch. Sometimes if I try to initiate sex he will tell me he is tired. If we try to do it he won't even cum, he will be panting that he is tired. He hardly release sperm during sex, he may be on top of me for more than 5 minutes pounding and still not release sperm. I don't know if it's a medical condition.

 During my fertile period he always claim to be tired and if he manages to do anything he will stay for so long on top of me nothing will come out. I can count how many times that I saw his sperm, and he won't listen to me if I ask that we go see a doctor. I am sincerely tired of the marriage and want to count my losses and move on with my life.


I want to know if this is enough reason to leave the marriage or to get the opinion of anyone who has been in my shoes.


Thank you Stella.

What a mess!!

He is not into women but men and married you to cover up........