Hmmm....
SITUATIONSHIP
I am from a broken home, because of that I don't take relationships to heart... I go into them with my heart fully guarded and ready for anything, so that when the guy starts acting anyhow I just walk away and move on without stress.
I have dated 2 guys in the past, the relationship I am in now is my third relationship.. lets call my boyfriend U
I met U in October 2018 through a mutual friend, he got my number from that friend. He chatted me up and introduced himself. I wasn't interested at all because he wasn't my spec plus there was this guy I was talking to at that time, let's call him H, I thought something was going to come out of that.
I ignored U's calls, chats and plea to hang out with me. He got tired and stopped reaching out. I wasn't bothered
In may 2019 I had a serious issue with H, I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore, so we severed all ties.
Barely two weeks after I ended my situationship with H, U started reaching out again. This time I gave him audience, in no time I started looking forward to his calls and messages. We were always checking up on each other.
From the introductions and conversations we had, I got to know he is from a broken family too, his father is well to do, plus he had to leave the comfort of his family to become a man on his own.
He told me he was into livestock farming because that was what he studied in school, he said he doesn't have his farm yet but he consults for other farms plus he trades bitcoin. I didn't have a problem with that at all, I was just glad he had something doing.
I noticed he is always at home or in church or chilling with friends.. That was his cycle everyday HOME - CHURCH - CHILLING
I had to ask him why he has never told me he is going for a job, he said he goes for jobs he just doesn't tell me.
He asked me out in September 2019, I accepted to be his girlfriend because at that point I was really into him.
He had to leave our base for a program he enrolled for in the nearby state, the program was suppose to last until May 2020.
The program had to be halted in march because of corona, he has refused to do anything with his life since that time because God revealed to him that the job he will get with the license from that program is what will put food on his table. All he does is sleep, wake up, go to church, chill and club with friends afterwards.
I am worried for him, I feel he doesn't push himself enough, he is not even exploring other options. Plus he stopped consulting immediately he started the program.
He is talking about me meeting his mum already, no doubt I have grown to love him but I am scared for the future, God knows I can't settle for less. I grew up in plenty until my parent's divorce when we had to manage, I teach but I try to do other little little side hustle so I won't have to depend on anyone for things I can provide for my self.
The fact that he is from a broken home worries me too, deep down something tells me we aren't a Good combo....
Thirdly, he worships his father like a god, he depends on him for things, for that reason he does whatever his father wants.....
For instance , he knows I love bearded guys and he is one(we both put a lot into growing his beard) but he still went ahead to cut it because he was meeting his dad and the dad doesn't like beard. He shaved off everything for a 5 minute meeting with his dad and he didn't tell me before doing it. I was pissed wallahi, if at 34 he still wants to always please his dad then wahala dey.....
Fourthly I just found out he didn't graduate, he didn't tell me I figured it out myself... I confronted him and he said he has gotten prophecies from different men of God that he was created to serve God so whatever he tries to do won't work except working for God( that's becoming a pastor/man of God). He has accepted these prophecies wholeheartedly so he doesn't try to do anything with his life at all... He feels that is it for him.
Apart from those things I mentioned above, he is an amazing boyfriend, he understands me and I do him....
I'll be 26 in 4 months time and I am in no hurry to get married, I just don't wanna waste years on/in a baseless relationship.....
I am from a broken home, because of that I don't take relationships to heart... I go into them with my heart fully guarded and ready for anything, so that when the guy starts acting anyhow I just walk away and move on without stress.
I have dated 2 guys in the past, the relationship I am in now is my third relationship.. lets call my boyfriend U
I met U in October 2018 through a mutual friend, he got my number from that friend. He chatted me up and introduced himself. I wasn't interested at all because he wasn't my spec plus there was this guy I was talking to at that time, let's call him H, I thought something was going to come out of that.
I ignored U's calls, chats and plea to hang out with me. He got tired and stopped reaching out. I wasn't bothered
In may 2019 I had a serious issue with H, I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore, so we severed all ties.
Barely two weeks after I ended my situationship with H, U started reaching out again. This time I gave him audience, in no time I started looking forward to his calls and messages. We were always checking up on each other.
From the introductions and conversations we had, I got to know he is from a broken family too, his father is well to do, plus he had to leave the comfort of his family to become a man on his own.
He told me he was into livestock farming because that was what he studied in school, he said he doesn't have his farm yet but he consults for other farms plus he trades bitcoin. I didn't have a problem with that at all, I was just glad he had something doing.
I noticed he is always at home or in church or chilling with friends.. That was his cycle everyday HOME - CHURCH - CHILLING
I had to ask him why he has never told me he is going for a job, he said he goes for jobs he just doesn't tell me.
He asked me out in September 2019, I accepted to be his girlfriend because at that point I was really into him.
He had to leave our base for a program he enrolled for in the nearby state, the program was suppose to last until May 2020.
The program had to be halted in march because of corona, he has refused to do anything with his life since that time because God revealed to him that the job he will get with the license from that program is what will put food on his table. All he does is sleep, wake up, go to church, chill and club with friends afterwards.
I am worried for him, I feel he doesn't push himself enough, he is not even exploring other options. Plus he stopped consulting immediately he started the program.
He is talking about me meeting his mum already, no doubt I have grown to love him but I am scared for the future, God knows I can't settle for less. I grew up in plenty until my parent's divorce when we had to manage, I teach but I try to do other little little side hustle so I won't have to depend on anyone for things I can provide for my self.
The fact that he is from a broken home worries me too, deep down something tells me we aren't a Good combo....
Thirdly, he worships his father like a god, he depends on him for things, for that reason he does whatever his father wants.....
For instance , he knows I love bearded guys and he is one(we both put a lot into growing his beard) but he still went ahead to cut it because he was meeting his dad and the dad doesn't like beard. He shaved off everything for a 5 minute meeting with his dad and he didn't tell me before doing it. I was pissed wallahi, if at 34 he still wants to always please his dad then wahala dey.....
Fourthly I just found out he didn't graduate, he didn't tell me I figured it out myself... I confronted him and he said he has gotten prophecies from different men of God that he was created to serve God so whatever he tries to do won't work except working for God( that's becoming a pastor/man of God). He has accepted these prophecies wholeheartedly so he doesn't try to do anything with his life at all... He feels that is it for him.
Apart from those things I mentioned above, he is an amazing boyfriend, he understands me and I do him....
I'll be 26 in 4 months time and I am in no hurry to get married, I just don't wanna waste years on/in a baseless relationship.....
You ended a relationship and without healing you went into another unstable one....
Maybe you need to heal from where you are coming from before you think of a relationship and please DO NOT MARRY until you heal...
This boyfriend you are complaining about, you met him a Daddys boy and it will not change, especially as he may be looking at being in his Father's good book to inherit something or get pocket monies....
Please take time off to heal, you too complain.
Poster this guys is daddy's boy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have found out that most daddy /mummy's boy never change. No matter the blow they get from mummy/daddy.
It now happens this one is not even ready to make things happen.
Hmmm! If you truly know what you want then do what you want. It's as simple as this
Poster stop lying to yourself about guarding your heart because you re guarding nada.
DeleteSee mumu love on top of a no future ambition yahoo boy.
Better accept that you need love and find a decent guy.
Anon15:15 you said it all,some Yahoo boys have prospects in life and work towards achieving it.You see this Mr U is a sorry case.
Delete15:15 👍🏿👍🏿 you guard your heart, yet you are in love with a man with no future ambition.
DeleteOne chance things... Smh
DeleteAnon 15.15 you really cracked me up with you apt response.
DeleteThe most Complex B
go and grow you own beard
Deletemumu poster
Poster. You need to heal. You don't know your value. I guess his sex game is tight hence it's beclouded your sense of making right decisions.
ReplyDeleteThis us an easy Chronicle.
DeleteTell him you got a prophesy that tou are not compatible. Shikena.
You entered from frying pan to fire.
In my opinion, nothing wrong with people from broken homes except they are broken themselves. Your bf is a papas boy boy. He gon be a slave till his dad dies.
See me laughing and rolling on the floor.
DeleteIf God told him he would be something else, why not face that thing squarely until God blesses him, instead he is going to club and chilling.
Even saint paul discouraged laziness in the Bible so I really don't know what God he is serving.
My dear, you people keep going for what you don't really want hoping it will change.
It's like buying a dog and hoping it will become a cat.
Stop dating guys who are not in the same level with you (I don't mean financially)
I mean mentally, emotionally, and other wise.
He will never see reasons with you.
Please free this guy, if you like keep pushing because you are a drug pusher even when God is clearly showing you the signs.
If you decide to go ahead do not complain in future because it was all your decision.
It's not about coming from a broken home, it's simply about having sense, that's why I dint include coming from a broken home as a red flag.
So the "church and club and hanging out and worshipping his dad" combo is what will make him a "man of God?" Really, are you kidding me?
ReplyDeleteHow do we debase ourselves in reasoning like reprobates? Wow!
He lied to you about his graduation and cunsultancy in livestock rearing and that to you is the lifestyle of a
"called man of God," whom "god" does not speak to but he has to hear from him through "pastors?" Wow! I am trembling in fear on your behalf even as I read this scripts. Just hope it is a Nollywood script really.
He whom God sends speaks the Word of God (John 3:34)...and Jesus says that by their fruits, you shall know them...I haven't seen the fruits of righteousness or the fruits of a livestock consultant or husband in all you have written here.
Let me not look for the "fruits of a wife to a "man of God" in order not to offend them..."
One piece of advise to you is this, stop this charade and go and kneel and give your life to your creator; the one that died for you. God's Grace.
Thanks for saying it real.. He is a mistake and better run from it.
DeleteYou said it all!
DeletePoster you no too complain. Your fears are valid and it's best to sit down and discuss this with him. Tell him he's not as motivated, up and doing as you want in your man.
ReplyDeleteAny man who still relies on prophecy without putting in the work, but expects results to fall from heaven is still dreaming.
Please don't encourage him to be lazy. Bread will not come from above when you eventually get married. He needs to be a MAN in this relationship.
Yes the poster is not complaining too much,very valid reasons. My advice is run. The handwriting is on the wall. It is not from broken home issues, but clearly from laziness.
DeleteI don’t think she should sit him down and discuss anything!! He is clearly not a hardworking guy or a goal getter and u can’t force him to be who he is not, it’s just not in him!!! Poster leave this guy , he is clearly not your type or my type either , discussing with him won’t change him, a lazy unmotivated man don’t change, it’s who he is , if u marry him , don’t complain ooo!, I am not attracted to lazy people who sit at home and I am still trying to understand how this one is even a born again and how God called him,abeg leave him
DeletePoster this one hard gan! A man that doesn't push for the future is not Man enough, take your time to heal and hit the road if need be 🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteYou need to take a step back and re-evaluate the whole relationship.Can you live with what you see for the rest of your life?If you can,all well and good,If you can't,my dear put sentiments aside and move on.Nobody has the monopoly of being "the one"!!!
ReplyDeleteIf I am to re-title this your chronicle, you know what I will call it?
ReplyDeleteCalled by men of gods
Yes; men of gods do not call someone to become a pastor, God does that. And that person does not go clubbing and hanging out with friends.
reevaluate and re-strategize dear.
If you are desperate, you will make plenty of mistakes that regrets won't wipe out. 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰
How do people heal from relationships? Is it a scar? I thought when u break up, u move onto d next, life continues.
ReplyDeleteI tire o
DeletePoster I feel you, you want an ambitious man but this one no follow at all,
It's not gonna work
Please help me ask!
DeleteKole werk rara
DeleteThis relationship will end in pains and tears.this dude is dishonest.whats the big deal in getting a degree in Nigeria.He doesn't have a job.he's a daddy's boy,eeverything about him is RED! What's this ringing tone about broken home? I wish my mom walked away.i grew up in a "good family" with a father and a mother.you need to see how much damage that caused me.you shd be thankful to your mother who had the courage to walk out of a bad marriage.As for this your boyfriend,this one no be marriage material at alllllll.the earlier you face front the better.
ReplyDeleteYou deserve cold beer. Apt response
DeleteMy Dear, the fear of being from “broken homes” as it is called in Nigeria is part of the reason why there are way too many angry, bitter, frustrated, envious, damaged and aggressive people in Nigeria. It’s not easy for couples in sad, dead, pathetic marriages to raise happy and well rounded children but unfortunately that’s the case in Nigeria all in the name of not being from a broken home. And the damaging cycle continues.
DeleteThank God my mother divorced my father. I’m grateful to God for the amount of love and high self-esteem my mother raised us with. A very close knit family we are. I doubt that would have been as possible if she remained married to my father because the atmosphere in my home then was very different from what it became after their divorce. I’m yet to come across a Nigerian marriage that makes me wish to get married again. From what I’ve observed in a lot of cases, the men repeat the same exact things or worse, that their fathers did that caused their mothers to be broken in the first place while the women go around with little to no self-esteem, and hopeless, accepting such as their lot in life. Yes, there must be happy marriages out there but most are nothing to write home about.
If broken homes were such an issue, Nigeria would’ve been a developed country with citizens ranked as the happiest in the world while Scandinavian countries, America, etc will be in the same condition Nigeria currently is.
Poster, leave that man alone and stop acting as if you don’t know that with all these red flags, marriage with him won’t work.
Poster marriage is not a race
ReplyDeleteAre you under pressure?
Don’t settle for less cos you want to keep up
With all this baggages, why won't he be amazing. Mshewwwww
ReplyDeleteAmazing indeed. Wo, remove your slippers, your hands holding your breasts and RUN. Kini mo so? RUN
DeleteLmao 😂
DeleteAnonymous 16:15, you want to kee me with laugh ni? RUN oooooo...
DeleteAnon 16.15 you're a clown.
DeleteThe most Complex B
The solution to this your situationship is very easy if not for the "love" that has seriously entered the matter. End this immediately! The only thing worse than a lazy man is a complacent lazy man. He seems like one of those ones who rely on the inheritance they'd get from their parent[s] to "make it". They never change but if you don't mind picking the bills forever, go ahead.
ReplyDeleteEven billionaire kids like Cuppy, LAX and Davido dey hustle; your 34 year old boyfriend just came to this world to eat, sleep, attend church, go clubbing and be chilling like Scanfrost freezer. Wisdom fall on you dearest lil' sis. You never see husband material o. This one na akube.
😅🤣😂
DeleteScanfrost freezer bawo 😂😂😂
DeleteWhich one be Akube again o🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅🙃😂
DeleteAkube😂😂😂 poster leave this guy! He would lie and promise he would change but he won’t , don’t make him a man he is not , he is not a hardworking man , he is lazy, if u want to waste your time , stay with him and be talking as if na u first come from broken home
DeleteBig Sis has finished matter so if you have ears listen; Pick up your two legs and Jaaapa
ReplyDeletePoster make I no tooo talk...
ReplyDeleteThat guy na one lazy dude.
Sorry but just detangle urself from him fast fast.
Love is not enough Sis.
I see no future with such a boy/man at 34 who is presently not doing anything to better himself for his tomorrow talk less for you.
This relationship is called 'forget it'
ReplyDeletePoster do you realize that this guy has been lying the whole time. Lied about his degree and I can bet he lied about being a consultant. He's un-motivated, lacks vision and lazy. Run!!!!
ReplyDeleteLight skinned yoruba guy? He shaved his afro hair not his beard when he went to see his mother? Your story seem familiar but I think you changed a few scenarios in your story. I may be wrong sha
ReplyDeleteOne chance.
ReplyDeleteBeing from a broken home doesn't affect anything
ReplyDeleteYou like beards. Does he even have money to maintain bia bia? Na big Boyz dey keep beards this days o.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm,not my spec people beard will fade away bald head will set in those boobs will fall flat those juice will dry up those arse will sink those six pack muscles will be flappy.
ReplyDeleteI come in peace.
His reliance on prophecies scares me.morenrhat his "Daddy's boy" status and lack of career drive. Sister...quit the relationship for now. Make your mind rest small
ReplyDeleteU better run! U think say marriage na child play when money no Dey! I pity you!
ReplyDeletePoster your bf will nit change oh, he will remain daddy's boy. The guy is lazy and want to have everything while sleeping.
ReplyDeleteWho said if you become a graduate you will not be able to serve God? If you are serving God you need to communicate with members, you need to speak well to your members.
Please think well before you continue this relationship.
HI POSTER,
ReplyDeleteMy questions to you are as follows;
What is the essence of relationship?
What do I want from Life?
Who am I?
Where am I going?
What is my "temperament trait?"
What is my "love language?"
What is the essence of my "being"?
These above questions, will help navigate all that has to do with relationship.
I will leave you with your thoughts over this relationship but I sense what has kept you with this guy must be "Knacking"; are you in relationship for knacking?
Ask married couples it is not all about sex.
God bless.
Dead on arrival!poster, abort mission!!!
ReplyDelete